JSing viroids, on your marks, get set, shag!

[JosieSmith1]

The (updated)(again)(again)(again) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator for the Viroids:

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday (or when you've had bad news). Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended). (But it does work).

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at every opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronym-age to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed.
OV is ovulation - I'm allowed to forget what date I've OVd, feel free to join me on that one!

Bunting is to be put out for any small victory, thread-parties are held regularly and hugs are always welcome!

Once you have your BFP, feel free to hang around and share your wisdom and virtual cocktails with the JSers.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

*

Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

**

Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge ? BFP

Part 4 Graduates:
NoMoreChocBiscuits - BFP
Milanomum - BFP
Cremegg - BFP
BrassicaBabe - BFP
Dynababy - BFP

Part 5 Graduates:
TakeThatLady - BFP
Vallinna - BFP
SingingMog - BFP
aDarkStarWithStrangeWays - BFP
Eskarina - BFP

Part 6 Graduate
Reality - BFP

Part 7 Graduates:
Katiepie - BFP
CaramelGirl - BFP
Nickelbabe - BFP
Panpie - BFP
Brightcopperkettles - BFP

Hmm well is 4.40pm too early for wine? It's a warm day, so perhaps a GnT instead?

Little bit more discharge. FFS. Also I probably shouldn't drink so much tea as I've lost count of the numbers of visits to the loo today .

Ah well, if no BFP then I can totally enjoy my weekend away! And at least my blood test results seemed ok, so next under the microscope are OHs swimmers. In a way I'm hoping they do find some small problem, but only because it a) would explain why nothing is happening and b) allow me to nag encourage him to cut down the booze and STOP SMOKING . (that wasn't to you, bam ). What I'm actually concerned about though is if they suggest cycling might be a problem. He loves it, did over 60 miles out on his bike today and cycles to work heaps as well. If they do suggest it, I reckon I'll be allowed one month to get upduffed before he goes crazy . Anyway, that's jumping the gun a bit! Maybe the discharge means nothing .

Ooh sorry bam, also meant to say I'm sure the house stuff will be fine! Are you still doing Avon by the way? How's it going?

Wow bam time's gone quickly. Glad you're keeping well. Nelly my fingers are still crossed and Josie how brave of you to stand up to vile sounding boss. I would have fallen apart. Well done you.
I am tired and ready to sleep but DH is kern to listen to Haye fight. So we are compromising: he will put in earphones to listen in dark. Thong is, he is even more tired than I am and will, as ever, fall asleep and miss whole match. So silly.
I had v hot day with friends which was lovely, tho' rounded off ith visit to local Asda which was an error. Ended up driving home with dd chanting 'biscuit and sausages' for her dinner request. At least it wasn't waffles which seem to be filling their freezers at moment.
We have filled our fridge with watermelon. I love summer!

Ah men and sport . Thankfully mine isn't too obsessed unless it has wheels. Currently he's watching the Tour de France and is off to Silverstone next week. I decided to have a bath instead as watching cycling is kind if boring, no?

Loving the idea of biscuits and sausages for tea . and watermelon, mmm. Summer is barely kicking off here, I reckon 5 more days and that'll be it!

Still not much going on but I am now thinking ERTD is more likely than not. Oh well, it is.

Day 25 and pink wiping, grrrrr. Off to BBQ this afternoon so may drown sorrows. Hope good news for you crow and nelly. I was sonconvincd, as ever, that this was my month. Ignored the chocolate inhaling of last few days thinking it was prob early pg carb craving. Pah, delusional and pms ish. Hope sun shines on you all- London already hot and sticky.

Oh pants caramel. I hope we aren't in for a cluster of disappointments on the thread. You're not out yet though. Join me in wishful thinking!!

I'm still in bed. We've just had Sunday morning sex but now thinking, right that will either have kick-started ERTD, or should I get up and PIAR? but then is that gross because we've just had sex.

Pee on a stick I think. Or just pee strategically in ramekin? I am off on a run to jog it all out. Then have to decide if want to spend money on gynae or acupuncture as had to cancel last appt. Private insurance won't cover anything to do with babies including fertility tests it turns out. Fingers crossed for you

Oh caramel, hope it's not ERTD!!

Nelly - POAS!!! Or not good job on the JSing front, I'll be pouncing on OH when he gets home from his camping trip later.

Shared my bed with DD2 last night ... Just the two of us here and she wanted her mummy to cuddle up to. But boy, she's a toastie wee thing! I was sweltering and had to throw off the duvet on my side and open the window! And I thought OH was toastie.

Still no news on ERTD watch ... Still getting mild cramps. CD38 today, possibly 12DPo, so ERTD is probably lurking.

A run caramel? now that is impressive! Very frustrating about the tests/insurance. No chance you can swing them another way eg for hormonal problems or something? I have to say my doc arranged my blood tests immediately, but who knows what'll happen if we need treatment.

crow -POAS yourself!!!. It's so sweet you are excited to see your OH. But god it must have been warm everywhere last night. We live in a freezing cold house, I use a hot water bottle about 10 months of the year, but last night had to sleep on top of the covers. ignores fact that ERTD makes you heat up.

Well, I did actually PIAR. No POAS supplies to hand. But I've hidden it in the bathroom ("to get to room temperature"), as I kind of want to see if ERTD turns up. No point wasting a perfectly rubbish good 25p test now

Oh PS caramel one of the other conception threads was talking about acupuncture in a sort of community centre way? Much cheaper than private. I think it was on the TTC for 6+ months thread. I'll see if I can find it when I've Finished my mucking out

Yes please nelly and please test soon!!! Everything crossed!!

Well, I dipped, and the result was.... Invalid. So I unwrapped another one, tried again. Invalid again. Nearly gave up, but 3rd time lucky. So this time the pink colour shot up the stick, straight past the test line to the control - and stayed that way. BFN.

Ah well. Just got to wait for ERTD now. I've had sex and POAS, I'm sure that's the only goading it needs .

Caramel the post was on the TTC 6+ months thread. Spirita posted it and the website was www.acmac.net

Bah, but wasn't dee's a bfn first. Still crossed. I've had bfn and ertd in earnest so off for a pre BBQ nap with DH. thanks v much for link. Will chase up

Sorry to hear you still have no symptoms Nelly, Crow and Caramel I will be following you all seeing as I'm out of the running (and feeling slightly like I've been here too long now )

Making docs appt first thing in morning to discuss next stage, then I'm off to spa with bessie bud to relax for the day (have also been doing that today - sunbathing in the garden for the first time in ever!) off to the toby carvery for tea (yummy!) then not a lot planned for the rest of my week off, did I say I'm now off work for the week? Going to see transformers in 3d at 10pm (the joys of not having to be up for work tomorrow, except horsey has a bite on her shoulder so I'll be up to check on her first thing) then friday it's all go in preparation for the wedding on sat!!! Can't wait! The rehearsal went well, then I strapped her into her dress all properly like I will be on the day and it looked gorgeous!!! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happened to your horse Josie - nasty fly bite, or another horse bite? Hope she's ok. Your week off sounds fun, if a bit busy :). Hope it all goes ok at the docs tomorrow. What do you mean about being here too long though? If you mean "here" as in the TTC journey, then you and I both - but we'll get there!! And if you mean "here" as in this thread - well I don't think many of us actually stick to the rules. Either way, I hope you hang around as long as you need to (but not TOO long, obviously, because I really hope you get a BFP soon :) )

Hope you had fun at the BBQ caramel. I've spent the day baking in my garden, a rare Edinburgh treat . ERTD still not really here, but I don't think that means anything, it usually takes a day or two to get going. I'm drinking anyway.

Morning ladies! Just a quickie as I'm on the coach enroute to Wales for a few days!! CD39 or something now, I've given up counting! Think I'm 13 days DPO, No ERTD yet, not much in the way of cramps or anything got some tampons in my handbag in case it suddenly appears. Despite going to the loo a few times before I left (more so to make sure I'm empty for the coach trip as I have a 'thing' about using coach toilets) I feel like I'm busting for a wee only been on here since 8.30am. Still Expecting ERTD to turn up in the week.

Will get on when and as I can to update and keep the thread going :)

Oooh, sounds v hopeful crow!! enjoy trip

Ooh crow how exciting! Enjoy your trip. I notice no mention of pee-sticks in that list, is that so you can enjoy a couple of glasses of wine guilt free .

Viroids - I'm going to wibble :(. ERTD still not fully here, but if I'm honest it's behaving no different to any other month, ie stop start for a day or two before full on flow. But I know I'm only kidding myself and it's me out for the month, and I've actually just cried about it, for the first time on this whole TTC lark. We've been trying for 13 cycles now, I'm going to be 37 in 5 weeks, and I've not had so much of a sniff at a BFP. I was reading the Grads thread earlier (TTL had her little girl ) and that was what actually made me cry. I'm so happy for them, but I was on the thread when they all got their BFPs; they are all now having gorgeous babies, but I'm still at the wrong end of the not-pregnant conveyor. Don't get me wrong, I fully subscribe to the theory that there are enough pregnancies to go round everyone, I don't hear about someone getting pregnant and think they "took" mine - but what if it never happens for me :( ? I have to be honest and say in many of the cycles past, we really didn't put much effort in, for various reasons, and ERTD turning up was not that surprising. However, the last 2 were full on JS gold-star attempts, so I think that's why it has hit so hard. Up to now I've been happy enough thinking "well once we actually give it a proper go, we'll be fine". I had a day 21 blood test so I know I ovulated. But what if the Daily Fail is right, and my eggs are scrambled? What if OH is shooting blanks? Today, for the first time ever, I've felt a gap in our house and our life, and it's baby shaped. :(

This of course was not helped by Mamas and Papas emailing me this morning. Ages ago I bought my nephew a present from there. When you sign up it says are your pregnant, or how old is your child, or is this a gift. I ticked gift, but they seem to think I want constant emails from them anyway, about prams and furniture and babygros and shit. Insensitive fuckers .

Sorry for the rant and histrionics. Normal service will resume soon :) Hope everyone else is feeling a little brighter than me today!

(((hugs))) to Nelly. That is rotten feeling as you do, but to be honest, it really is natural. I am amazed you have not cried before now! I know exactly what you mean about the first few months not really counting (for you not trying at the right time, for me I wasn't even ovulating!) but when you are trying hard and you're ovulating (even if it is with the help of clomid) it seems so disheartening to still get ERTD. I cry each and every month. Only for that first day, then I brush myself off, try and think of all the things I can still do, and find the hope for the next time.

You are doing the right thing in seeking help from the docs. And if there is a problem with DH, then there are treatments to help with it.

I really think that crying and grieving for what isn't, is healthy. You can only be chipper about it up to a point. And of course you're delighted for TTL, as you were for BB and all the others. But it does highlight our lack.

Our babies will be so longed for and wanted. Not to say that the others don't want theirs!! But ours will be super super special.

Do something nice for yourself today - go out on a long gallopy horse ride!! maybe plan a trip with DH that wouldn't be practical with a LO.

Hi to everyone else. Hope you have a good trip crow and you get a BFP real soon.
Well done Josie for standing up for yourself. Enjoy your time off and the wedding.

We have our next FC appt tomorrow and I can't think of anything else. DH is still refusing to discuss anything - he wants to wait to hear what the consultant says. I want to play "what if" and inspect the possibilites from all angles!!

Oh miffles thanks for coming out of the woodwork with a hug and saying just the right things! I feel a lot better for just having written it all down. And sharing the pain with others going through it helps - well, it helps ME, I hope it also helps you, too, rather than you all just thinking "oh shoosh stop being so dramatic, we're all suffering just the same". .

I think my OH is a bit like yours in the "lalala don't want to talk about it" stakes. I suspect he thinks he is protecting you somehow . Play the "what-if" game with us if it helps? I hope the FC goes well, or at least you get some answers or steps to take forward. Let us know how it goes, if you can and feel up to it. Here's to the super super special babies we're going to have eventually soon .

I'm going to nip outside right now and give my horses cuddles and polos, and then locate one of the cats and force it to cuddle me too, like the surrogate babies they are! And possibly start packing for my drunken weekend away. My friend that I am visting has 2 boys, 4 and 7, so I suspect by the time I get home, I'll have gone off the idea of kids again .

Has anyone seen babylann about recently, she was very low last time she was on the thread? If you are lurking, hope you feel ok about everything.

Thank you for thinking about me! I'm plodding along. Finally plucked up the courage to go to the doctor about my problems, and he's setting me up with a counsellor. It's really needed to be honest, in fact he should probably have gone straight for the drugs.

I'm not sleeping well. Last night I got about 2 hours in the end, and tonight obviously isn't looking much better. I'm constantly anxious and seem to dip in and out of complete misery at any given moment. DP is as supportive as I'll let him be, which isn't often as I usually find some reason to want to go quiet and close everything off. It's not good right now - ever since I was younger and went through a really hard time, I have my low times but they come every so often, perhaps once every six months or so, and I become selfish and detached (and sometimes doing things I end up regretting) for a few days while I work through it, but for the past month or so I've felt this way every day, some days I haven't been able to bring myself to smile about anything, I've wanted to wake up and for time to pass as quickly as possible until I can go back to sleep.

It was like a defense mechanism to try so hard not to let what happened bother me that I became the complete opposite of what normal people in my circumstances would traditionally become, and I've replaced all the natural issues I should have with these forced "worries" about things I have no reason to worry about. I'm convinced I will die young and I have no reason to, I'm not the most healthy person in the world but I have no alarming symptoms which plague me every single day. I lie awake at night and can't sleep because I can hear my own heartbeat and "is it going a bit fast?" So I try and distract myself by counting in my head, but I realise I start counting my pulse. And thinking about my heart makes it go faster because I'm scared, so then I get even more anxious - scroll through all the different things I'm convinced are wrong with me: heart attack, heart failure, heart disease, lung cancer, lung disease from all the smoking I did back then, some kind of degenerative muscle disease, brain tumor, skin cancer, endometriosis, PCOS, infertility... And then "I haven't heard DD on the baby monitor for a while - maybe I should go check on her..." Imagining my life without her, or without DP, or my parents, or any of my relatives, remembering my grandparents and feeling so sad about the things they aren't here to see. I get sad - usually because I realise it's been over an hour and I haven't had a sane and rational thought for so long, I start crying, I look over at DP and he has been sleeping soundly from the moment his head hit the pillow and then I get angry - "why didn't he stay awake to check I'm okay? He knows I am having trouble sleeping. How selfish!" And obviously I know he's not selfish, he has to get up for work every day and that means he can't lie awake until 4am with me while I freak out about every possibility which could occur in my lifetime. And then if he does wake up and asks why I'm crying, I get snappy with him for not being psychic enough to wake up and ask sooner and tell him I'm fine, go back to sleep like you always do.

And I went to the doctors last week and still haven't heard anything about the counselling - I explained all of this to him and obviously even he didn't think it's as serious as it is. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do really because this isn't really a "life" right now.

I'm sorry for the little ramble. I will read the thread properly tomorrow and reply to everyone else, I'm just completely shattered and fed up. I think it's very obvious now that JSing should probably go off the calendar again after this month as I'm in no fit mental state to bring another baby into the world. (2 days til ERTD due anyway and got no signs of being pregnant at all)

I'm running out to work babylann so will post properly later. But get back to the doctor and get the drugs. See a different one if you have to. All I can offer are ((hugs)). Xxxx

Ugh nelly and babylann, that sounds horrible for you both. nelly I think that you have done really well to avoid wobbles until now. I was comparing myself glumly to Ann Boleyn after one failed cycle . Thinks are moving with the doctor, right? Think horse and cat time will help. And tb brutally h I don't think that duff js ing months do count. That helps to reduce number of duff cycles, no? You've had alot of outside stress on too. Breathe, be good to yourself and at least make your OH wear baggy cotton boxers- my new tactic! And just think how much the bfp will mean to you and to the viroids!
babylann sounds very heavy to me. You definitely need to find someone you can trust. For me, I found that I was really helped by talking to a homeopath! I had been referred to counselling etc. But, like you, I can be a bit suspicious of people and sort of look down on them- I think you mentioned feeling like that before, sorry if I've wrongly attributed my snobbery to you. The homeopath was a posh older lady who had the time and confidence to let me just direct how sessions went. And I soaked through boxes of tissues. When I trained as nutritional therapist that was my one of my goals, just to give people a thought space as well as addressing their health goals etc.
Anyway just a thought and I have thoughts going out to both of you. And have an acupuncture appt- not the cheapy place because of DD. Still trying to find a good London gynae who is a bit holistically inclined.
Big hugs x

Oh babylann. So sorry you are having such a hard time. FWIW, I didn't find counselling hugely helpful on it's own. I really think you should push for some medication to get you on an even keel first, as you don't sound in a strong enough place to really "do" counselling at the minute. I am thinking of you.

Nelly I read your post yesterday and really wanted to give you a hug, but I wasn't sure what to say. It's the tricky part of staying on after BFP. But I really do feel for you nelly, as I had so many low moments just like you describe. I am glad miffles knew just the right things to say to you, and hope you are feeling better today.

Good luck with the acupuncture caramel!