JSing viroids, on your marks, get set, shag!

[JosieSmith1]

The (updated)(again)(again)(again) 'rules' from our Just Shagging Originator for the Viroids:

Maintain a relaxed attitude at all times - drink if you want too, especially on your birthday (or when you've had bad news). Thread precedent dictates if you drink to excess you will get a BFP (but not recommended). (But it does work).

Covet thy husband and enjoy every minute. Shag at every opportunity - shag-capes and awesome superpowers optional.

Keep acronym-age to a minimum! EWCM is now to be referred to as 'pant snot'. Try not to get sucked in by Fertility Friend (at least for a while), but knowing where you are in your cycle and furkling for pant snot is most definitely allowed.
OV is ovulation - I'm allowed to forget what date I've OVd, feel free to join me on that one!

Bunting is to be put out for any small victory, thread-parties are held regularly and hugs are always welcome!

Once you have your BFP, feel free to hang around and share your wisdom and virtual cocktails with the JSers.

Keep us up to date with gossip!

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Most of these rules are well and truly broken!! But we try to chill - honest

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Part 1 Graduates:
Tanmu82 - BFP
PrivetDancer - BFP
OnlyWantsOne - BFP
Frankenfanny ? BFP
Notso - BFP
knittakid - BFP
loopeylu - BFP
PinkFondantFancy - BFP
Grannyapple ? BFP
Fuzzywood - BFP
canoe - BFP
janedoe - BFP
StarflowerGirl - BFP

Part 2 Graduates:
ihaveaplan - BFP
lovemylulu - BFP
shitforbrains - BFP
gormers - BFP

Part 3 Graduates
Bonkerz - BFP
Kitten - BFP
Cowboylover - BFP
takingtheplunge ? BFP

Part 4 Graduates:
NoMoreChocBiscuits - BFP
Milanomum - BFP
Cremegg - BFP
BrassicaBabe - BFP
Dynababy - BFP

Part 5 Graduates:
TakeThatLady - BFP
Vallinna - BFP
SingingMog - BFP
aDarkStarWithStrangeWays - BFP
Eskarina - BFP

Part 6 Graduate
Reality - BFP

Part 7 Graduates:
Katiepie - BFP
CaramelGirl - BFP
Nickelbabe - BFP
Panpie - BFP
Brightcopperkettles - BFP

See I'm the type of person who finds porn boring, cos the plot is rubbish . But now I actually do want to google that .

Inappropriate I know, but I just spat out some wine at the image of your Mum with her notebook "scoring" your contractions . And also you worrying that you got pregnant from sitting on a seat..... All worth it in the end though :)

Wonder where all the other viroids are? De-lurk, people! . Back to work tomorrow, which is always a bit of a pain. Less time for MN for a start.

I was thinking of writing a porn show. It would be a soap opera, but with lots of sex. Because I find the plots rubbish too. If it was realistic and they were characters I could relate to, I would maybe like it. I think it would fill a gap in the market too

Going back to labour, my second cousin... at midnight last night, she posted on FB saying she was trying to induce labour but not getting anywhere. And by 6:00 she had given birth... How unfair is that?

Oh that's very unfair . I think you should find out exactly how she induced labour, for future reference, as it clearly worked!

Did we kill the thread??

gosh, you two have gone on some crazy deviations. When we lived in south america we went to a porn show at the cinema- very very boring town in which we lived. Electricity shortages cut it out quite early on and then when it came back all the lights came on. You could see everybody. Was quite funny/cringe inducing. but yes, truly terrible plot. And felt a bit exploitative watching it, hmm.
We had a really good country weekend away without DD. Did very little other than R&R so perfect- think was a bit early for baby making but who knows?
And today I went to doctor's and came out with a referral letter for gynae, hurrah. Through husband's work insurance as otherwise would have to wait forever around here for NHS- my landlord had a referral for May 2012 last week!! So feel a bit guilty skipping queue, but relieved that I can chat to someone and be investigated.
babylann three days sounds truly grim. I had two days but only last four hours was horrible and I still pitied myself with sleep deprivation etc. I did lots of walking to jog DD out but didnt' have SPD, urgh.
nelly do you mean you've had horses since you were 12 or so when you mentioned responsibility since you were young? That is dedication- and cost presumably? Yes, yes, babies will be a doddle!! Well, I find that dog training techniques are quite useful, but that with babies they have their own mind surprisingly early and you have to encourage independence, rather than generally crush it in a dog.
And dee congratulations!!! Really hope that it goes well and quickly until you get to scan and also hope that it's catching!!!

Oh FFS. Just discovered a flaw in the app. Had typed a long message, nearly done, then OH called which kicked me out of the app so I lost the post. Logged back in, typed it again- and the arsehole father of my imaginary child called back and did it again < I realise it's not his fault>.

caramel yes, 25 years of being their slave. Luckily I love it/them

Gotta post quick before anyone else calls. Sorry if typos.

I'm thread-killing all over the place here. Where is everyone?

caramel your weekend away sounds lovely - and sex "just because" is exactly what the viroids are about!

I too am going down the doctor route. Though nothing is ever easy. My GP was very relaxed about putting me forward, which is great. But then I have to work out when exactly "7 days before my ERTD is due" actually is. Crystal ball, anyone? . Anyway I have gone for Friday, so called today to make the appointment. There was only one available, and it's right when we have a team meeting. So of course I'll go to the Doc, not the meeting, but means I have to explain to my boss (usually my role is quite autonomous so not an issue, just typical this one clashes). It'd be ok, but what with my horse being so ill this year, plus I already had one hospital appointment (my breast-lump investigation) with a check up on that in a couple of weeks. He's either going to have me down as a liar, or someone who is very unwell .

Now help me out viroids. My last two cycles have been quite short, 25 and 24 days. My iphone app works out my average in the last 10 months to be 25 days, so has me ovulating last Friday (day 12). Last week I had pant-snot and mittle-stuff. We had sex. Days 7 10 and 13. All seemed to go quiet on the mittle-schnuff front, but I still had some - ahem- slippiness when I wiped. Went away a little bit then increased again. But today (right now!) I have really quite sore tummy pains a la ERTD/OV. So EITHER I've still not ovulated, despite pant snot for a week, OR, there is something else going on entirely

Head-fuck .

Sorry I can't help you there Nelly. Periods confuse me now. :( I guess if we were being completely positive about the whole thing, we could suggest maybe some kind of implantation reaction? Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed there anyway. And good luck with your conversation with the boss. I'm sure it will be okay!

My porn started off as quite a serious exploration of sex and human relationships, but eventually it just became as goofy as the next. By the time I'd finished "going too far", it was called "Blowjob Street" (inspired by DP's favourite site "Street Blowjobs") and it would attempt to cover all aspects of sex, including the scary fetishes. But it would also be a bit of a spoof of Desperate Housewives. There'd be a corny bit at the start where a female voiceover says some thought inspiring jibberish about "Every street has neighbours, and every neighbour has a secret, and every secret is eventually revealed... But some secrets are harboured for too long... And when those secrets come out... some neighbours get hurt. And when some neighbours get hurt... etc"

2 days caramel :( It's not fair, is it? I remember getting delirious after my first night without sleep. My family forced me to have a nap in the morning (we were staying at my parents' so they could look after me / take me to the hospital when the time came) and I would wake up every five minutes when I had a contraction. Eventually, I started sleeping through them, incorporating them into my dreams. I had a dream there was a fairy godmother who told me every contraction I had saved a life. Whenever I had a contraction, I would see myself save someone - the only one I can remember now is scooping a small abandoned baby from a bush (for some reason, I knew it was an African child). But then I found out the fairy godmother had been tricking me all along, and it turned into a nightmare and I woke up :( I've always been a light, vivid sleeper though and always remember at least one dream from the night before, if not more. Got a few more hours sleep when my epidural first kicked in too. Ooh epidurals are fantastic.

Wow babylann you so need to write your book! Definitely a suppressed author in there! Maybe write the porn and the "saving the world one contraction at a time" under different pseudonyms though

Whilst implantation would be nice, I'm guessing I'm ovulating. The pains are proper sore n owt. And, TMI but who cares, just went to the loo and the pant snot was actually hanging out . Probably textbook, if they wrote this kind of stuff in textbooks! Now the big question is, why am I in bed, wearing my fleecy PJs sexy negligee, and sperm-donator is downstairs in front of the tv . I said I was coming up to read, not to be too long, and not to be too tired either. Too subtle?

Hello viroids :)

I'm away at a conference with work for a couple of days (in exotic Coventry!)
Took full opportunity of being in my wtf cycle and no chance of me being pg last night with the available alcohol at the gala dinner last night. Surprisingly I don't feel too bad on it!

You have made me giggle with your porn / labour stories chat :)
My birth story with DS was not to plan. I'd done loads of prep with classes, books and a hypnobirthing CD. In the end though, 3 days before his due date, they decided to scan me to check his position. He was lying transverse oblique which is about as awkward as you can get and also v dangerous if my waters were to gave broken suddenly. As a result, they wouldn't let me go home and did a CS 2 days later. I really felt cheated out of my labour! The scary thing was that they said that if they'd have known he was in that position, they'd have had me in sooner for complete bed rest. Apart from a bit of wriggling, he'd been in that position for about 2 months! I'm kind of glad they hadn't spotted it sooner as I'd have gone stir crazy, or I guess they'd have tried to move him round which I know can be quite painful.

Anyway, in other news, I still have a BFP too, 17 days after ERPC. I'll do another test when I'm back from conference and if still +ve I think they want to scan me to see if ERPC wasn't complete. Grrrr!!!!!

Hi everyone! That's been some weird chat going on in here!!

My labour story is that I woke at 7am the day after DS was due, with really sore cramps. I had a midwife appointment that afternoon anyway, so I went along and she did a "sweep" and was pretty sure DS would be born that night. I went home, had a sandwich, and tried to have a sleep (with my lovely old cat wrapped around my feet) but it was too sore. Eventually at 9pm I called the ambulance and got taken in. The cramps continued and the midwife broke my waters (ouch!), but still it continued. Finally, at 10.58 the next morning, out came DS. I was so exhausted by then that I could hardly lift my head to look at him. There had been a knot in his cord and he was all blue and floppy, but after lots of rubbing he came to life, and that was that! I had diamorphine and gas and air. I couldn't have an epidural, as the thought of the injection into the spine was too awful, and I knew a girl who ended up with bad back problems after she had one.

Anyway, sorry I've been AWOL. I went bra shopping with my mum yesterday. I had to get a soft bra, as my wired one has been digging in already. The problem is that I have massive boobs (36H) and because soft bras don't have wires, I now have a massive mono-boob! Quite comfy though, and DP doesn't mind!

TMI about the pant-snot nelly!! Hope you get on fine at the doc's though. Fingers crossed for you.

SES it must be so frustrating for you there. I hope everything settles down for you soon.

to babylann, caramel, dee and any other lurkers.

Hi ladies, hope everyone is well.

Ertd was due on Friday, 2 BFN and still no period! I am feeling dizzy/lightheaded, sicky and my boobs are sore Think i will wait until the end of the week and test again [hopeful emoticon].

Congrats to dee

Hello viroids. Glad to see some more of you about today, as it appears babylann and I were going slightly mad there .

Ooooh Janedoe hello again, and eeek. It?s really a mystery this, isn?t it? 4 days late!!! What tests are you using? . Here?s hoping

Thanks for sharing all your labour stories ? I think??? Though if you don?t mind, could the next person please post something along the lines of ?well I had a mild contraction at 2pm, 4 minutes later I sneezed my baby out, and was showered and dressed again by 2.30?. These 1/2/3 day extravaganzas are not what I had in mind?.and particularly not the near-death experiences, of Mums and babies . Thankfully it?s all ok in the end though.

SES - I?m sorry you still have your BFP (not a sentence you?d normally write on a Conception thread). It must be so frustrating for you, and I?d guess still quite upsetting too, I can only imagine what is going through your head. Well done on the imbibing though, guilt free, and hopefully actually free, too. Fingers crossed it?s all done with very soon, so you can move forward.

Good to hear from you Bam as I was a tiny bit worried something had happened . Glad it was just a case of exploding breasts . I?ve got little wasp stings, so can only imagine what having a mono-boob is like! I get upset when OH seems to be able to put both of mine in one hand . He tells me he likes them like that such a good liar.

So, trying not to upset Bam?s delicate ladylike nature, I?ll just say that my subtle hints to OH did actually work last night. I have to say, either we?ve not been at this JSing lark long enough, or I?m a lucky lucky lucky viroid, as this month in particular we?ve had amay-zing action . Doesn?t feel like a chore when it?s like that again!

However to more mundane matters, I?m now 99% sure I was OVing yesterday so I think I now need to change my Doc appointment to Monday? Sunday would be better but I guess they don?t do those! That puts me either 1DPO or 4DPO, so please remind me of this. My phone app tells me I?m due on 1 July, so if ERTD hasn?t turned up by then, remind me that I think I won?t actually be due for another few days ?but the red fecker won?t dare show up this month--.

OK ? have typed this on Word, now need to try to bring up the MN webpage and do a quick copy/paste before I get spotted! Sorry if it doesn't work, last time I tried, I scored out half the page by mistake!

Ooooh jane! Fingers crossed for you dearie!

at my delicate lady-like nature nelly! I think I just read your pant-snot post at a time when I was feeling a bit delicate!!

I really hope all your calculations are pointless nelly, as the red witch won't be turning up on your doorstep this month! FX

Thanks Bam, me too!

Jane, I think I've been horribly insensitive . I drafted my post, then refreshed just before I copied it, and added in my comment to you at the last minute. I hope I've not upset you? I'm so sorry if I have.

nelly don't be daft, you didn't upset me! I have used clearblue digi and a predictor early test. I have a funny feeling that my body is just playing horrible tricks on me though. I only had one AF after giving birth, so my body may just be catching up, time will tell i suppose .

Fingers crossed for you this month nelly and im glad to hear you are enjoying it

Mother Nature is an evil witch sometimes.Jane.

Ok am now bored on 2ww, despite being only 1 or 4 days into it! Amuse me viroids, even though I am not working hard

I'm afraid I can't help you there, Nelly. I seem very good at amusing people by accident, but I don't think I'm very funny when I try to be. Well, I think I'm funny when I try to be, but other people don't Or maybe they just don't get my brilliant sense of humour.

Lots of posts since I last checked! I had a migraine last night so had to stay away from the computer and sleep. Had a pretty crappy day, argued with my mum a bit, couldn't find the energy to clean or make dinner... A bit concerned I'm due another one though, as I keep getting little spots in my eyes and feel meh.

I love hearing labour stories. :)

SES, I'm glad it all worked out okay. I was one of those people ordered to have bed rest in hospital for my "mild" pre-eclampsia, at about 37 weeks, and even though they only kept me in for a few days, I've never been more bored in my life. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that I was 37 weeks and they told me if my blood pressure got any higher or there was a further rise in the amount of protein in my wee tests, they'd do my CS then. And I wanted a CS at that point, tbh, I just wanted the baby out of me. I was actually kinda gutted when they eventually sent me home and I had to wait another month for her to come. Ended up having that CS anyway at 41+4, and she was huge (9lbs3), so she would have been fine to come at 37 weeks I reckon!

I had a bit of a scare with my epidural, Bam - the day after the CS I woke up with a click at the bottom of my back whenever I walked. I had to request to see an anaesthetist and ask if it was normal. He said he'd never heard of it happening before... I think now, in hindsight, it was something to do with SPD. My pelvis getting back into place or something. It lasted a good week or two after she was born though (not that I was doing much walking in hospital recovering from CS anyway). But I much preferred having an epidural and being conscious during my CS than the alternative, being KO'd through the birth of my first child.

Janedoe, I'm sorry things aren't more straightforward. Waiting before your next test is probably wise yeah :)

Hi babylann. Sorry about your migraine. They are horrible. I used to get them a lot in my teens and early twenties, but rarely now (touches wood). Funnily enough though, I still often get episodes when my vision goes all watery and shimmery, just in one eye, and it makes me feel really sick. Apparently, it's a form of migraine, but without the headache!

I hadn't realised you had a CS babylann. (Berates self for speed-reading the thread) I think, despite my horrors at the thought of an epidural, I would rather have that too than be knocked out. I'm hoping I can have another natural birth though - natural with pain relief that isn't an epidural I mean!

Well I did have the CS, but I took the offer of an epidural about 24 hours before it came to that! Maybe it was because I was induced (2 days of labour and still only 1cm dilated ) or something, because it went from really bad contractions to kill-me-now constant pain! DP recalls me transforming from "handling it really well, normal with the occasional 'ooh' noise" to "thrashing around on the bed like a monster" (but I think he was exaggerating! )

Men always exaggerate, babylann

Has anyone else been reading the thread about the lady who felt unable to be happy for her friends who were pregnant? You'll know the one I mean if you saw it. It's eye-watering on many levels.

Morning everyone!!

First of all - massive massive congrats Dee!!

Sorry I've been awol, been a very very busy few weeks. Had a week off work with DH where we blitzed the garden and were putting in 14 hour days but the best bits are done, just needs finishing touches now and we can actually sit out in it Had a slight argy bargy with the woman at work which led to the team manager basically telling me to get on with it and now I'm also having counselling, which is going well although I've only had one session brought up some interesting issues though, part of which may be that I dislike my manager because she brings out the child in me, or something along thopse lines anyway, basically I'm now confused as to whether my manager is treating my the way I think she is, or if I'm just imagining it. Hmmm, interesting times!

Hope all you lovely ladies are well

Hi Josie! You have been a busy viroid! I hope that your counselling helps. It's lovely to see you back again.

I read that thread nelly. The attitude of that poster who just had no idea what it's like to take ages to conceive made me so . Even if you've never been through it, surely you can show a bit of feeling for those who have! Actually, I often read threads on MN and feel quite about how some people live, and the views they have about things. Never a dull moment really!

I am officially 7 wks today! Yay! Still feeling a bit sicky, but haven't actually been sick, which is good.[smile

Sneak posting again, but yay for Josie being back and yay for no sickness Bam.

Post properly later

Hi nelly! Thanks for the "yay"! I haven't been sick at all so far, but keep feeling queasy. I'm the world's crappest person at being sick (crying, shaking, sweating etc ) that I just hope it continues.

I meant to say viroids, I may not be around as much for the next wee while. My DP finishes up at his work tomorrow morning (voluntary redundancy) so he will be in the house. It's not that he would have any objection to me MNing, it's just that I like MN to be something for me when I have the place to myself. Does that make sense? Anyway, I will pop in as often as I can and probably lurk frequently! DP is applying for jobs at the moment, so hopefully he will get something else before too long.