TTC after miscarriages

[aMuminwaiting]

Well I have finally started ovulating again after losing my second baby in October. I am hopeful that I will be pregnant again this month but am also petrified of how I will deal with the anxiety. My two week wait started two days ago. Anyone else out there who is in the same boat or willing to hold my hand?

I'm sorry. Still early days though. I used a clearblue plus last month and the cross came up straight away then the second line went so pale but was still there. But the next day I did two more tests and both were negative. Wouldn't use that test ever again. Apparently the blue dye ones bleed through and give false readings (stop making them then?! After all, it's the only bloody function it has). The progesterone is for stopping my body from shedding the placenta. I have to take it until 14-16 weeks at which point the placenta itself should kick in and function properly (fingers very much crossed).

yeah these tests are ebay cheapys didnt get a positive one untill over a week late before. POAS this morning and negative again so was thinkning about taking a trip to boots to buy a different sort untill the mr decided we should wait untill friday. so if friday comes before AF do you have any reccomendations on which sticks are ok but preferably dont cost a ton. i shall keep my fingers crossed for your fully functioning placenta also

I went for a digital this time so I didn't have to decide if the lines were real or not! But according to all the sites I've been on any red dye one is fine. The first time I was pregnant I just used tesco own brand £5 for two!

Been feeling rubbish today, really strong cramping, especially on the left side of my pelvis. Keep going to the loo thinking I'm sure there will be blood this time. I just wish the hospital would pull their fingers out of their backsides and give me a date for my scan. So much for having a six week scan!

Good luck for Friday. Don't know how you have so much will power. I always gave in.

No need for the will power in the end AF got me today :(

Oh I'm so sorry. It's gut wrenching I know. Please stay in touch. I hope you get a BFP very soon.
If it's any small consolation I am so scared of seeing blood every time I go to the loo I think I'm going mad. Couldn't even get out of bed until 11 this morning. Every time I eat I get cramps. And when I'm not getting cramps I think "oh my god, why am I not feeling anything?!" My husband is a saint.

Yes ill be staying in touch im waiting to hear when you see your little one at the rather late scan :L. Yeah im hoping for one very soon to say i was a little gutted was a understatement. Whats worse is it was the mr who told me after going to steal my white towel after i had a bath sorry if abit tmi there. Feels a bit crap when everyone tells you your super fertile after a mc. I do hope it doesnt take to long. I could then also join you on the 9 month wait instead of the 2 week one :)

There's no such thing as tmi n here is there?! I know. I read about 'super fertility' but it's taken me six months both times. And that may as well be eternity for how long it feels!
Well I'm still worried that I'm not feeling enough symptoms. Luckily my DH keeps telling me I only had the crazy wind and pooing for England at this point both times...bless him and his memory of gross stuff. I REALLY want the damn scan so I can see my baby. I'm petrified they'll say oh sorry it's an empty sac or the baby stopped growing. Come on crappy hospital!!!!!

Anyone around for mindless chit chat?

Hello :) you enjoyed the bank holidays? How you getting along

Still no scan date. And there's a waiting list of at least two weeks just to see my GP. Had my bloods done today and it took two nurses to find a vein. Then I had to walk to the dog who decided to be a total git and try and bite through his lead all the way to the park, then layed in the dirt and refused to get up. After an hours struggle I got home. I felt so sick and was shaking so much that I nearly dropped my bagel. He's on the bed sulking now and I feel much better.
How are you?

Wow and i thought my gp's were busy. Could you possibly see another gp? I like to see one in particular she really nice and doesnt speak at 100 words per second but she tends to be rather busy too. How far along are you now? I think after all that you should be on the bed never mind the dog :L.

Im not to bad thankyou AF's visit this month was rather short only three days compared to usual six so back SWI. May use those OPK's again this month i guess it could be obsessing but im just thinking i have them in the draw and if i have the opportunity to find out when i ovulate etc then why not. The one month i didnt use them AF was over a week late and kept getting BFN's so didnt know if i had ovulated or not. I obviously did as ended up getting a BFP but there was a week that sent my little brain crazy not knowing what was going on.

Yes I think the OPKs are a good idea. If I hadn't used them for my last cycle I'd believe the seven weeks my midwife has me at rather than knowing I'm not even 6 weeks until Thursday! Very annoying, means all my scans will be booked in at the wrong times, they'll tell me the babies too small etc etc. Also, DH and I did our own calculations actually based on my ovulation date and it puts my due date at Dec 30th not 20th. Even with the ten day difference it doesn't look like I'll get my 6 week scan though. Still no word from the hospital. So much for 'you will be monitored VERY closely throughout your next pregnancy'. Feels like they're leaving us to it again.
Are you going to chart this month? That and the OPKs gave me something to focus on rather than desperately trying to read my body which I just couldn't do. I don't think I'm that mother earth type. I've felt more 'symptoms' on the months I've not been pregnant than the ones I was!

I dont think ill get to charting yet my mr really will think im obsessing. Also because of the hours i work im not up at the same time every day to take it at the same time which from what ive read on here your suppost to. The opk's have been working quite well i tend to get a v.faint line the day before then the positive. Feels like i get a heads up although tbh we dont dtd any more after the positive as we seem to do it nearly every day anyway. I just like it so i can no when af is due or late.

Did they listen to you about the dates not matching up

There's no one to listen to me to be honest! Other than the booking appointment and having bloods done I haven't seen anyone. I'll mention it at the hospital if I ever get there.
I'm fed up with it, I'm praying my DH gets this new job he's going for next week and we can make a fresh start, new doctors, new midwife, new hospital! Of course there's nothing to say they'll be any better but you can only hope!
Yes the OPKs are really good for knowing when due. I'd have been clueless without them because my cycles were all over the shop. I wake up different times too and just made sure I took my temp before I got up for a pee! It seemed to work out pretty well. It's also why I prefer the fertility monitor to the opks I did before because I have a long window to do my first morning wee testing.

Why oh why did I watch misbehaving mums to be?! I knew I'd want to put my fist through the tv screen! It's so incredibly unfair that morons who think smoking throughout pregnancy "will make the baby stronger" can give birth (albeit to babies who will suffer in the long run) and I have two dead babies and one I'm praying every minute of every day will make it. I do everything right, I eat well, I drink tons of water, I take my dog out for at least two hours a day, I take vitimins and take all the naps my body wants. It doesn't make sense.
RANT OVER....for now.

hello :)

not sure if your still around but hope all is well. have you managed to get in for a scan yet. My AF still isnt due for 10 days this cycle seems to be taking forever!

I lost my baby yesterday. I started spotting on Tuesday after a horrible nightmare about pouring with blood at the hospital. Anyway, yesterday it turned to bleeding and by lunchtime I knew I had no chance. Luckily my Aunt who's a midwife was here and helped me through. At 4 I miscarried and had a sterilized jar with me so she called the hospital and told them what to do and the babies being sent for testing in London on Monday. The doctor told me to just "put it in the freezer" so the testing would have been ruined if my Aunt hadn't been there.

Oh bless you and your partner. That is aweful news. I have been thinking about you. Im sure nothing i could say would ease the pain in anyway. Im glad to hear that someone was there with you if only to offer some support and its lucky she was in the no as to what needed to be done for the testing. Wishing you the best in the coming days not sure on the boundarys regarding hugs but i have one going spare with your name on (MN hug)

Thank you. Yes I am grateful she was there. Hopefully the right things will be done this time and this babies life won't be for nothing. I want some answers. It all seemed to be going so well and it takes just a few hours to know it's all going to end. I actually had a nightmare Monday night and woke up really upset, then I went to the loo in the morning and there was that first tiny spot of blood. It's amazing, it happens every time. I get a nightmare just before it starts going tits up.
Will probably be waiting for many many months to get refered to the specialist. I know it will feel like an eternity. And my Aunt advised we not try again until we've been karyotyped. Not that I want to right now but in a few days that will probably change.
Thanks for the virtual hug. Much needed.