Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 15)

[meliesmummy]

Hello! If you have recently miscarried and are thinking of or actively trying again come and join us! We offer plenty of cake, tea and wine if needed! Come in and laugh, cry and rant as needed, and don't be afraid of asking whatever questions you need answers to and we'll try our best to answer them.

Add yourself to the stats list whenever you are ready.

wtcc = waiting to try to conceive
ucl = usual cycle length
wtf cycle = the time after your mc when you have no idea whats going on with your normal cycle

Lets hope this is a lucky thread and we all get our bfps!

part 14 of the thread

stats to follow

Congratulations harrassed and hopeful, fx that they are stickers!

Sorry your afs got you chloe and olis. Are you still intending to take a break from the clomid Chloe?

I'm back 'on the horse' - dtd last night and started the cb digi opks over the weekend - much easier! Got to go - dd wants me to do the oaky cokey! Hope the neighbours aren't listening over the fence - we're in the garden!

melies yes am gonna have a break this month. Have lots of social events and if I am honest I just can't be arsed to feel like pants for them. I have a letter with a date for my first counselling session - I wish it had come 2 months ago. I don't know what to do. I feel in a much better place than I did reight now. I am finally able to get through most of the month with few tears and have even been resigning myself to the fact we may just be blessed with one child (and actually believe I am alright with that now). I am scared the session my bring up all my bad negative feelings again or that I am using someone else's place who desperately needs it right now. My cousin who has suffered from depression advises me strongly to go for if I should ever MC again or something else traumatic happens in my life then it is likely that the depression will rear it's ugly head again but if I get it all out with a counsellor then she/he will teach me life skills in how to cope with it. What do you ladies think? I am not sure I have the energy to take myself back there and dh thinks counselling is a load of old codswallop anyway so he isn't sure about me going now he has his wife back

Look forward to getting to know you more when you decide to join up diamonds Sorry for your loss.

hopeful and hihp congratulations to you both, that's great news.

chloe and olis sorry af here.

chloe if you honestly think that right now going would make you worse then don't go. Do you think talking about it would make it worse? Maybe call them and discuss what you're thinking and why.

mel glad you're back on the horse hon.

chloe sorry AF got you too hunny big ((hugs)) we will get there in the end im going to enjoy myself this month bleach my hair, go on the sun bed, drink and not think about all the what ifs i will still be having lots of SFF and no doubt will still be wondering what if at the end of the month bit i am going to try my best not too :)

Can I join? I found out that I miscarried on Thurs (trying for my first child, and it was my first pregnancy, so a little gutting). DH wants to get TTC again (he really wants a baby, we both have had promotions this year and everything seem s right for it), but I am a bit more nervous about the whole thing now, and am not sure where I stand in terms of cycles and how much they will have been affected.

sorry for your loss pink you will get loads of support and advice on this thread they have been great to me :)

Hello,

think im ready to join now after lurking for a bit! i mc'd last weekend and after enduring a marathon wait last wednesday was told it had definatly gone and had my negative test there and then, so i suppose at the moment im still really nervous about trying again so soon (first pregnancy which resulted in mc) dont know how long ill end up waiting but probably have 1 month off the back to it xx

Chloe, Olis so sorry that AF caught up with you this month , Chloe sounds like a month off is exactly what you need, take care of yourself, I do think counselling might help, even if it's only for you and not for DH.

Congratulations harassed and hopeful really hope you have the stickiest beans.

Waves to all the newbies, so sorry you find yourselves here, but it really is a great place for support.

Hi to Mels, Cep, and Collie hope you're all ok x

welcome pink and vix so sorry for your losses.

oli sounds like a good plan

Hi girls

vix pink and diamonds sorry for your bad news but this is a lovely thread and you'll get loads of support here.

hopeful and harrassed congrats- got everything crossed for a sticky 9 months!

loup hope its going ok

olis boo to the af.

chloe thats such a hard decision, especially if you feel a lot better now. I can see why you would worry about it making you sad again. I've no personal experience of counselling but my dp has suffered with depression a fair bit over the last few years following deaths in his family. He had some counselling the last time which seemed to really help him turn a corner. Maybe you'll know better what you think as you get nearer the appointment x

For me today is pretty much the same as yesterday. Still bleeding (still brown which i hope is not as bad) thought it was slowing down earlier but by the end of the day it was obvious it wasn't.
Had only told two friends in rl i was pg again (didn't want to go mad like last time and look silly if it went wrong) so told them about the bleeding. One has been great. The other told me i should stop working, lay down from now to 12 weeks and that "you do too much and it's up to you to save this baby". Basically saying it was my fault for having a job and life! Aaaaaargh! Maybe she's right and it is my fault somehow- who knows?

Am really trying to be accepting this time and just think if sticking is a problem for me, i need to get on with it ( a bit like harrassed was saying) so I can have the 3 mcs and get some help to make it stick!
Can you get basic blood tests after just 2 mcs or does it definitely have to be 3? I'm 36 and been trying 18 months now.

to everyone and thanks so much for all the messages of support- they really do help. If good thoughts helped a baby stick i'd have no problems! xxx

Grrr Minnie your friend makes me want to punch her. We all know very well it is not your fault and that if it's going to go wrong there's nothing you can do about it. Tell her to feck off! She's probably just jealous that you do have a job and a life.

I asked my GP for basic blood tests and did get them despite not having 3 reccurrent mcs. Asked for clotting, thyroid antibodies, selenium and later vit D. Actually I didn't ask for Vit D, I just wrote it myself on the 'other' section on the blood test form so not sure whether it will get through! It was an after thought though, am sure she would have added it had I remember to ask before I left. Find out what tests you want to have - the above are a good start and hopefully your gp will do it for you. You might still be ok though honey.

Oh, am 36 too. Just thought I would bond with you as another 74 baby :)

Thanks freelance tellling my friend to feck off made me laugh! She's pretty opinionated and i could just see her face!
If it turns out crappy I'll start with the bloods you mentioned. Like the idea of adding your own on Maybe they could tell me why and ice-cream is my favourite add-the-pounds-on-feel-better cure (not that i can have the wine now just in case it's not a crappy result!)

Maybe you could ask for the tests either way? There might be supplements you can take that might help if you have any deficiencies? Or if there was something that needed earlier addressing get a quick appt with a more serious specialist. Have forgotten if you are taking anything already but I think vit d can be particularly beneficial (25mcg).

People are insensitive though, jesus. A trainer at the gym told me not to do any exercise when pg despite me being careful and plenty of evidence to show it's good for you and said something about my 'murderous' ways! I hated telling him I had mc'd but made sure he knew it was nothing to do with the relatively low level of exercise I had been doing. I think mine is due to high thyroid antibodies attacking the foetus so am awaiting treatment.

If it's good news and you can't indulge, don't worry I am having enough for you, me, your crappy friend, my crappy trainer and the whole board :)

While you're drinking for everyone else Freelance: please have a rum and coke for me! I can't as am on antibiotics! Think I need it! Hi to all, on stupid phone, apologies for no individual posting. Will try tomorrow. Take care lovelies x

Hello everyone. So sorry I've been absent the past few days, and I've missed soooo much!!!

Firstly BIG Yipppeeeee for harssed and hopeful hoping these are extra sticky beans.

Diamnond Vix and Pink so sorry for your losses but this thread will be such a support to you.

Chloe I am a great fan of counselling and really believe it would be beneficial for you to address any feelings you have now rather than later. I think your cousin is right if you dont properly deal with it now it may turn up lateron in your life when things might be difficult again. But ultimately you need to do whats right for you.

Loup any news?

Minnie Please dont listen to your friend, you should never blame yourself for having a mc, though resting and looking after yourself is important. I am glad you have other supportive friends around you. I really hope its third time lucky for you.

Free I cannot believe your trainer, do you still use the same one?

I have done 4 pregnancy tests in 4 days. The first response test are evil as the lines never seem to get darker but the clearblue did have a cross this morning so feel a bit better. Thank you for all your congratualtions and I dont mean to sound ungrateful as I know how lucky I am to have a bfp but I cant get excited until the dreaded blood test to check hcg levels on Friday. Thats when I found out last time my levels were too low and my pregnancy wasnt viable. DH has promised to come to the blood test with me and then take me out for the afternoon to forget about it until they ring......arghhhhhhh!!!!!!

Morning ladies!

Hopeful very pleased to hear the results are getting darker. Hope the blood tests go well too.

Minnie I cannot believe your friend! What a load of rubbish. My step aerobics instructor taught until she was 8 months gone and we often chatted about the stupid things people said to her about exercising but her doctor told her it was good to stay active. Same goes for you Free what an idiot that instructor is!

Chloe I don't know what to advise hun. I almost went after my MC too but seem to feel more myself again so didn't in the end. Do you really feel back to normal? Don't just say you do as DH thinks counselling is daft. If you feel it might help then do it. Maybe you could go to the first session and actually discuss your reservations with them? Say you don't want to discuss all the MC stuff at week one but just discuss whether the sessions might help you?

Collie thanks for the hot cross buns (I actually had one in RL and it was delicious!). How are you doing?

Loup hope the holiday is going well.

Melies how are you feeling?

Cep you doing ok?

Am having a mini freak out today....I think this room should actually be called "Freak out room for those who a trying to get pregnant after MC" as that is me! I am firstly a bit confused about when or if I have ovulated. Every website says I would have over the weekend but my iphone says this Thursday...I don't get it and so I have no idea if we've been DTD at the right time or should be really doing it now. I am SO tired as we've had a lot of late nights and then been up even later DTD and so I feel like we've run out of steam...but according to iphone I cannot run out of steam now as these are the key days! We didn't do it last night as DH was out with work until very late and the ovulation thingy on here says that was the last day to try....and we missed it!

Also I got pg on first go last time which was incredibly lucky so I know the chances are it won't happen again but how the hell are you supposed to not then get stressed!!? I am relatively relaxed this time but if it doesn't work I know I am only going to get more anxious as each month goes on and then everyone keeps saying you need to be relaxed to get pregnant not stressed.....umm how do you not get more stressed as time goes on!???

AM freaking out!! Sorry for my mini meltdown today....hopefully its just hormones! Ha!

xx

bump i was exactly the same in my last cycle when ttc. I am actually very at the amount of stressing i did over my ovulation - or fear of lack of it (for anyone who had to put up with me i am very sorry ). How long is your cycle usually? Did you chart when you ov'd before your mc. What day in your cycle was it? what day are you on now? have you been charting your cm or anything?

I'm ok, thanks for asking. Just sick and shattered.....and doing my usual mentalling. But i am not complaining (much) as long as there is a healthy baby at the end of this i don't mind! I'm working from home today so managed to get a lie in. It also helps the sickness not having to sit in traffic for an hour.

Just rang the clinic about my blood test, which is due Friday but bank holiday...arghhhh....but they have agredd to do it Thursday instead.....yipeeeeee!!!!!!!

Bumo I def think we should call ourselves a frak out room and then will fit right in!!

Good to see its not just me who is a head case about ovulation !!

In answer to your questions:

How long is your cycle usually? 29 days

Did you chart when you ov'd before your mc? Nope never done charting. I bought some OPKs this month but haven't had a smiley face (and couldn't do it on Sunday so I might have missed smiley face day)

What day in your cycle was it? I don't know but at a guess I got pregnant last time around day 12 or 13.

what day are you on now? I am on day 17 (day 1 is the first day of my last period right?)

have you been charting your cm or anything? I can usually tell when its egg white time but this time its been hard to tell as his stuff has been mixed up with it too! Had a lot off clear running stuff...almost just like water really, rather than stretchy egg white. Just checked and I have it today though but only a small amount. (I am so so sorry for this huge about of TMI!!)

This is my first cycle post MC (had one AF in between) so I don't know if that is what has messed up the iphone tracker one as Feburary's cycle was all over the place with the MC.

First day of AF this month was the 3rd so what do you reckon? Has the day been and gone!?

I apologise for this ridiculous amount of obsessing over ovulation

xx

Hopeful that is great news!!! I will forgive you in your excitement for calling me BUMO !! Did make me laugh! x

just made myself laugh too, first time all day I have smiled!! Sorry bump

Its really hard to say bump espec if you don't know your pattern too well yet. If you ov'd as early as day 12/13 last time then day 19 this time sounds late, but its not out of the question. MC can realy screw up your cycles until they get back to normal, and in fact can sometimes change all together.

Going of what the sites say, your most fertile period could be as late as the tomorrow. But it sounds like you cm is drying up a bit so perhaps the watery was your fertile cm? I don't think you always have to get egg white. Would you say yesterday/the day before was the most watery cm you'd had? I wouldn't worry about missing yesterday even though it was supposed to be your most fertile day as they say its more important to do it in the run up, which you have so there shoud be lots of swimmers left! If you are worried though, if you can muster up the energy i would dtd tonight again one last time. Its can't hurt.

I know this isn't going to help you at all, but it is also possible to not ovulate after mc. this was the cause of my freaking out, and i know a couple of people - yrmotb was one of them - posted to say this was their experience for a couple of cycles post mc. But of course i KNOW this is NOT what you want to hear, but just be reassured that if you haven't ovulated, its not unusual.

Sorry i couldn't be morr help, I know how stressful not knowing what your body is doing can be!! xxx

((hugs)) for hopeful good luck thursday. xx

Thanks!! Yep we are def DTD tonight!!!!

I know things can get pretty messed up posted MC. I def think I ovulated last cycle (which we skipped to wait for AF) as had loads of EWCM and period was bang on time but this cycle I just don't fel like I did. Oh well the DTD was excellent so that's a bonus!!!!

Yep the watery CM was the most I had but TBH (oh my god can't believe I am sharing this) it seemed just like the following morning everything he deposited leaked back out of me on my walk to work It wasn't regular stuff just like water which I have never had before.

Bodies are so frustrating. TTC is so frustrating!!!!! Still, it is a long weekend so there is that to make us happy! xx