Anyone else about to start IVF?

[gardenpixie]

DH and I have our first IVF consultation in a couple of weeks and I just wondered if there was anyone out there who was in the same position?

We've had loads of tests done already so the Dr says we may well be able to start the treatment cycle sometime next month or early May.

We've been TTC #1 for 3yrs now and I am on cycle 5 of clomid so will continue with that until I start the IVF drugs. There are no obvious medical reasons why we haven't conceived naturally, just a case of unexplained infertility, I guess.

I know the odds of getting pg still aren't great but I am really excited about the fact that IVF even exists (isn't amazing what they can do?) and, although I am a bit apprehensive of everything it will involve, I am thrilled to be given the chance to see if it might work for us.

I would love to hear from anyone with any advice or who is in the same boat,

thanks for reading

Hello everyone-Just wanted to say hi! Sorry, it seems like I've been gone for ages but it's only a week. All this emotion and tears spilled, it seems like my lack of fertilisation thingie happened a year ago! I had a really lovely time with my dad, who spoiled me rotten-drank lots of red, and white wine went for nice evening meals out, went shopping, spent some money on probably useless things and had lots of reassuring cuddles :)

So much has happened with you guys since I've been away?! Your posts have really been a source of comfort and humour mixed in-the posts about the mad thoughts while downregging/stimming in particular! It's a mad horribloe time which I hope will all be worth it in the end for all of us.

Well just a quickie with what happened yesterday at my hospital appointment to find out what went wrong-they can't find a reason as to why no embryos came of it-sperm all good 'dancing' round the eggs. 5 out of the 6 were grade 1 which could indicate immaturity?? Maybe a lack of a chemical which is given off attracting the sperm. She noted in my notes that I used to smoke, but gave up last year-this damages egg quality which I do realise oh and am 'slightly overweight' at which point I baulled my eyes out hysterically-'it's all my fault so I deserve not ever to be a mother'-how degrading does this process have to make you feel adding to that leaving/running through the hospital dept and having to pass by the obs and gynae/maternity lounge (which is the same area as assisted conception bit) filled with pregnant happy couples and I'm ALWAYS leaving like a psycho with bright red eyes and a puffy face!

It is really just 'one of those things'-I hate that expression. Next step is icsi-not until august. I can't even think about the waiting now...Feel guilty it is my fault and have brought this on myself :( but if I could rewind the partying days of my twenties then I would. It's just funny that now I am a completely different person (probably not all for the best as have turned into this grumpy batalax!)

Hi to all will catch up later today when have caught up on housework-yawn

Lots of love
x

pumpkinjoy I've not been in much and have not caught up with all posts (I "flipped" and read yours first) but just wanted to respond and say PLEASE don't beat yourself up and blame yourself or things you did in the past. I'm not a medic but I'm sure they have no bearing on the result. Unexplained fertility is such a nightmare as no one can tell you what is wrong, but clearly something is (I'm speaking from experience). In 100 years from now perhaps all infertility will be explained and what causes it. But speculation will not help. Just think of the whole range of people that do get pregnant - from heroin addicts to ballerinas - pls note I'm not judging anyone (well except ballerinas - soooo jealous of there skinny bendiness).

Ooh, I'm wibbling big time here but just want to repeat pls don't beat yourself up. Sending you major positive vibes. ICSI did the job for us so think positive

Lots of love and waves to everyone else. I'll be back for a bigger catch up soon

Xxxxxxxx

Thank you happygomummy have just stopped cleaning for bit of respite-husband back for lunch soon-don't think he trusts me on my own for long He needn't worry-am TRYING to be positive. What else can one do?? MMmm I will try to take your words on board tho-have booked counselling this morning and thinking about our options of where to seek private treatment in London?? Would like to have a follow up elsewhere as a second opinion although we know icsi is probably our option for hopefully success at some stage. So where and when did you have your icsi happygomummy I do love hearing success stories.

Must pop out to hang washing-got to get all these chores done before work beckons again monday-looking forward to a weekend of warm sun and a few and and maybe a few !!

xxx

Hi All

About to do a Friday afternoon catch-up

My diary tells me that today is the last day for DH's karotype test results to be back... and that it's only 10 days till we are at Guys... Really hoping that means it's about three weeks until sniffage commences.

pumpkin - happy is absolutely right, don?t beat yourself up about this. It?s NOT your fault.

I spent Saturday at a wedding where a hugely overweight woman told me all about her success getting pg first time (twice - she was really bragging...) as she knocked back endless drinks. Also there was a very dear friend who also got pg relatively quickly and who smokes likes a chimney (though not during pregnancy) and who ? along with her DH ? is always the one who gets absolutely fall-on-the-floor drunk whenever she goes out. Obviously there?s less going out now she has a one year old but she was a complete party animal for all of her 20s. That?s just two examples from one day last week! Everyone on here will know people like this who despite their lifestyles have had no problems getting pg.

I'm not judging either of these women - it's just as happy says, a whole range of people get pg and a whole range of us don't and as far as I can tell it's just bad luck of one sort or another.

Of course my cups of coffee and my occasional and the fact I left trying to get pg until the ripe old age of 32 won?t have particularly helped my chances but I could have drunk twice as much and waited another five years and had no problems.

The positive has to be that previously there was no solution to this but now, although it's no fun and it can be pretty expensive, through IVF we do have a chance to have children. I think ISCI was only developed in the early 90s so as it's the only option for us, had I been 20 years older I might never have had a child. That's got to be a reason to stay hopeful.

I think happy went to the Lister - I've heard really good things about that from others so would be interested to hear more.

Did glorious update post that has been lost. Ahhh....

Bondi you MUST stay, like the others say, you are our inspiration!

luck have you started sniffage yet?

close any news on an appointment?

Bella30 sending lots of good wishes to you and your little bean.

GP so glad that things are back on track. Are you still on for hcg tomorrow and then EC on Monday? Also, glad you feel a bit better about the parentals. I think getting DH to distract is a good idea. Also, with my parents and some of my in-laws, I find that if I don?t acknowledge what they are really asking they are too polite to pry, e.g. ?What that?s big box of whale harpoons in the fridge, dear?? ?You really must be imagining stuff, there are no whale harpoons in our fridge.?

womanly definitely get your hair done, even if it?s just a stop-gap while you are growing it out. My hair has cheered me up all week and today it looks gorgeous even if I do say so myself!

BellaB so good to hear from you and your septuplets! Loving the comment about them all going back in

kool hope the acupuncture went well and glad to hear that you enjoyed the snooze-break. John Lewis is definitely allowed. When not thinking about this IVF malarkey I?m currently spending too much time thinking how I can decorate the back bedroom in a lovely tasteful way that won?t require too much alteration when it becomes the nursery Obviously the back bedroom will have to be the nursery as it?s big enough to fit both the twins? cots in?

Care/skitoo/kool I?m in the boot camp! Last coffee today and after I?ve cooked Mr Teds lovely curry tonight (treat because he?s been away all week) I?m on the health kick.

Extra little post for care just to say that if you mean how many times we might try, right now there is no financial limit on that. I know that we?re lucky because we have savings and good jobs and because we had to be careful about money in the past, we?ve got used to leading really simple lives and don?t spend very much. I think the limitations are much more likely to be the physical and mental pressures of the treatment or a Dr telling us it?s just not worth it.

If you mean per cycle, I would definitely consider private treatment that was a bit more than NHS self-funded. As I say above, I?ve heard really good things about the Lister so we?ll look into going there if we fail this time, though we might stay at Guys too. However, I read on MN someone paying £15K for a cycle at the ARGC and that strikes me as crazy money compared to other places.

On the vits I take most things separately and most of the suggestions are just Dr Google I?m afraid? There are a few MNers who have mentioned B6 or B12 I think for luteal phase ? might be worth a hunt on the threads?

Not sure about barleygrass but the wheatgrass is much better if you mix with fruit juice and also you kinda get used to it too.. Still a bit gagtastic though

Evening all - well what a sh*t day! I am super all because of a stupid woman at work who I should never have trusted, and breath....sorry about that .

So after naff day I get home, get on the scales expecting that to cheer me up and a week of behaving has resulted in them not budging by even half a pound , so am now tucking in to a lovely glass of red and some savoury snacks - oh well, its ok because Boot Camp starts tomorrow eh Teds.

I second what the other girls have said Pumpkin, please do not lay any blame on yourself, it is absolutely not your fault. We all need to go through the things we did when we were younger to be ready to move on to the next stage now. I frequently wish I hadn't left it so late, hadn't taken the pill ignorantly for 15 years and wonder if I party'd too much but then remind myself that I just wasn't ready back then. Glad you had some time out with your dad and have a plan now for icsi in August xx

Got to go and assist chef in the kitchen now so finish this later. to all xx

hey all,

go murray!!

special love to GP for tomorrow - am doing the EC dance! good luck and hope it goes brilliantly. Enjoy the lovely buzz when you wake up full of nice drugs , and be sure to come on and tell us how it went.

Skitoo, oh no sorry about your day, what happened????? what did she do??? is stupidity an epidemic or something, i seem to witness this more and more these days?!! here have loads of .

Teds at the gagtastic. ok, now at yours and others advice in my kitchen i now have a row of; barley grass, pregnacare, fish oil, Q10, VitB6, Sea Kelp, Spirulina&cholera, and loads of other stuff....!!!! Am wondering if i will see green in the loo tomorrow!! (sorry tmi) 10 days to go that's exciting, that did come round fast. When do you find out the result of DH's test? Did you throw a beer over the overweight lady? think i would have been tempted

hmm, well thanks for your advice ladies about what you'd pay. its tricky isn't it. What will i look back and wish i would have paid? I know my mum and dad would give it to me, but (and this is personal to me and my relationship with them) I just think it will dent my confidence even more. We've got enough at the moment for some immunology tests (if the consultant we see on tues agrees its a good idea), about 2 frozen rounds, and am thinking about some natural rounds with just progesterone or something as we haven't tried that -not sure in what order yet. However if it came to it not sure i could rest until all 5 are out of the deep freeze. we shall see. I'm going to stick with the Bridge Centre now though as their service has been great and prices are reasonable.

Happy loved the heroin addicts to ballerinas comment, so true.

BellaB any more news?

Bella30 sending you loads more love and huge hugs.

Pumpkin i know exactly what you mean about looking back at the party days and thinking why didn't i just take it a little bit easier, I've spent loads of time too blaming myself for how I've lived. But then one of my best friends who was with me at the time now has 3 kids. You never can tell and i reckon we will all be better parents, or at least fully enjoy it and appreciate it, having really lived our lives first.

waves everyone else

Ok so for our health kick, I'll be personal trainer tomorrow, and i prescribe at least 20 mins of turning this up load and dancing round your bedroom, to my new current obsession:

oh and meant to add Bondi of course stick around, we need to stick together now. x

ok sorry people i love that song for the music and the drum beat makes me want to dance - i hadn't really thought about the title or lyrics - have asked for it to be removed, hope it hasn't offended anyone please ignore it. x

Hi all sorry that I don't have time for a proper catch up, my parents are on their way as I type! Not great news from me ... My scan today which should have been the green light to hcg and EC showed that, over the past two days, one follicle has grown by half a millimetre and the others haven't grown at all. I am really fed up now!

So yet more blood tests and injections. My veins were so bad today they had to get a dr from the neo natal unit to come and take my blood. FFS! My rubbish body. Not only can I not conceive naturally, it seems I can't do ivf either ... It's been five weeks since I started down regs and am now thoroughly thoroughly sick of this.

Sorry for the whine, I promise to be cheerier when I post next!

Lots of love and happy weekend all round xxxxx

Ah GP sending you huge hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Keep going you'll get there. You had 50 big fat follicles the other day, they must still be there surely? Totally know what you mean and whinge away, but keep the faith. x

Thank you care! They are still there but not doing very much ... Just heard from the hosp and they want to blitz the lazy buggers with a hefty dose of stims tonight and tomorrow and see where they get to. Thanks for your hug, just what I need!

Sorry everyone for memememememe-ing; I will post properly tomorrow. Enjoy the sun!

Xxxxx

don't forget what happened to me, there were hardly any there and then like womanly said things can happen very last minute - they're probably just trying to make sure they get the maximum out at just the right time for you. x

Promise to do a proper catch up tomorrow but just want to let Garden know that I'm thinking of you, with Care on the big (((((())))))

They've tuned the treatment again for you, so there will be a lovely batch optimum sized ready for collection. I am sending the heaviest duty positive vibes I can for you sweets xx. Have to fess up that I've had 2 glasses of the vino (am well out of practise so it doesn't take much these days ), so am tempted to run around the garden performing my best follie maturation dance. Hang in there xx

Joining in with the well wishes
garden, it's down to the folks in white coats now, hang in there xxx

Sunday morning catch up as am awake far too early again - and it's gonna be a hot one !!

BellaB - hope development over the weekend has continued to be good and today goes well, thinking of you xx

Garden - am so sorry that you've been on the mad rollercoaster the past few days with so many ups and downs but you can get there sweetie . There's a big competition going on inside you, you developed loads of follies and now they're all competing to make it over the finish line so competition is fierce but I can see Usain Bolt and Tyson Gay leading the rest of the pack home now . Hope the parents visit is going ok too.

How was the curry Teds? I love a good home made curry. Did you get DH test results, all good I hope? When is your appt at Guys, is it your first one or have you already had tests etc done so will be good to go?

Hey Care - I've calmed down quite a lot since Friday but will definitely be having a word with said offender tomorrow. In nut shell, been working with her on a deal for last year, supposed to close in June but is slipping and she used my 'health issues' as an excuse in a discussion with our MD. I told her limited info in confidence as we were working so closely together but it has never got in the way of work bar a couple of hospital visits we've had to work around and she uses it to cover her a*se - not happy .

Thats quite an impressive collection of supplements you have there! I've been looking at the Zita West ones, anyone tried them? They're bl*ody expensive but prob no more than adding all rest up.

Talking of ZW, has anyone listened to her relaxation cd? Not sure it's really my cup of tea but hey I'll give anything a go to help with this whole bonkers process.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Pumpkin hope you're feeling a bit better and enjoying your weekend.

Bondi hope bondibean is settling in nicely, please do come on and tell us how you're getting on.

Kool - think you might need to send me a link to the JL chair, sounds like something I might need to insist DH buys me if we can manage a babyski!

Waves to Womanly, Close, Happy, Luck, Flick and anyone else I've missed.

Enjoy the sun xx

Just a quickie to say skitoo yes, I take the Zita West vitamins (vitafem and vitafem boost). I agree, they are expensive so I hope I'm not being a mug. They are giving me luminous wees! I also bought her cd (suddenly feeling like aforementioned mug ), only listened to the first track and it's not quite relevant yet but hopefully will be when I'm further into the cycle. Am about the woman at work, she totally took advantage of your trust.

garden hope you're ok xx

The chair!

Skittoo I am outraged by the woman at your work - that is so below the belt.

kool not sure what makes the wee luminous but I have that problem too

skitoo that is cr*p. Glad you sound a bit less today and hope you can sort things out tomorrow. As for the weight loss, I think that it always goes in fits and starts. Plus boot camp officially only started today... that way yesterday's ice cream doesn't count

care I loved the drums too so don't worry about the lyrics! Now I've shown my foof to far too many of the medical profession I don't think I can be easily offended any more Anyway I'm enjoying this today -

I've have a lovely day - even rescuing a frog from my two cats in the garden was quite good fun just now. Poor pussies are still looking for it and have such confused looks on their faces

We haven't chased for the test results - think we'll just wait for our appointment. I think if they show a genetic reason for DH's low sperm count then our embryos might need to be screened for abnormalities or even for cystic fibrosis but I'm hoping it means that we still just go ahead with ICSI anyway. However, we've relatively hopeful that DH's sperm count is due to medical complications in the past - which is one of the reasons we've been really 'lucky' in one sense and have got to this stage relatively quickly compared to some of you ladies.

Lastly, GP me, the frog and the cats were actually doing a serious wiggle dance in the back garden for your follicles which I'm confident this will mean they do that last bit of growing. Fingers crossed that all goes well tomorrow x.

Ahhh - just managed to lose a whole post.

I haven't been on for a few days as the events of the last week have been a bit overwhelming. Very sadly, my Mum passed away last Tuesday after several days of sleeping peacefully. It doesn't really feel real yet to be honest - I think my whole family feels a bit numb at the moment. She was so (relatively) young and I think we all thought she'd eventually beat the cancer and be around for years to come. I think it's going to take a long time to really sink in. In the meantime I've been with my family and we are looking after each other and doing the best we can to carry on.

The next day (Wednesday) was the day that my blood test was due and everyone told me I should go back to London and get it done. So got up very early and came down to the hospital. On the train back home, the phone rang and they told me it was a BFP. The timing of it all feels so very strange and I am so sad that I can't tell my Mum the result (though she knew that we had had the embryo transferred). My DH, Dad and sister are of course delighted (and so am I underneath all the other raging emotions), but having two such momentous things happen within two days has been a bit overwhleming.

Perhaps unsurprisingly feeling quite anxious now - just hoping that everything's going to work out. It's only been 4 days - how I'm going to get through to the relative safety of week 12 and still be sane I don't know.

So that's where I am - I've caught up a bit on other people's news, so a few messages:

Garden - really hope your follicles are behaving themselves and that the last little boost you've given them has got them over the finish line.

Teds - when is your appointment for your DH's results? Hope you don't have to wait too long, and that the results mean you can go ahead with ICSI.

Skitoo - hope you manage to sort everything out with your colleague today - what a nightmare.

Pumpkin - glad you've been spoilt by your Dad. As others have said, don't feel guilty about past bad habits (easier said than done, I know - oh the regret I've had about the smoking years!). The whole thing seems to be such a lottery and it's so easy for some people regardless of their past.

BellaB - well done on your 7 embryos. Hope they are all dividing merrily and that you have some good ones to choose from for transfer. Got my fingers crossed for you!

OK - I may have forgotten stuff I wrote in the lost post, but that will have to be it for now. Waves to everyone else I haven't mentioned.

xx

Gah - just typed out a whole post and it's gone!!

OK, been away so not posted for a while (sorry!) and I see I need to have a good read through the latest updates.

BUT, we have some movement at last! We have an appointment for a first ICSI consult at Guys next week - after deciding to go there from St Helier (if we're paying for it, we're choosing where we go! ).

So, to avoid feeling horrendous and confused as we did after our last meeting, I'm prepping a list of questions to ask (our last consultant wasn't too good at sharing information which was actually helpful).

I'd be really grateful if you can let me know of anything I'm missing, or that might be useful to know? I've read various books, articles and websites on ICSI, so the broad process isn't an issue, it's the other 'little' details which are worrying me!

• As we've been having tests at another hospital, can these results (mainly my bloods) be transferred and used so I'm not having to go for the specifically timed results again? (Frustration alert: GP sent me for blood tests on the WRONG days of my cycle, so I've already had 2 complete sets done (days 2-4, day 23/24 plus day 28... grrr!)

• If I need more blood tests, can I get them done on a weekend (if the key dates fall on a Sat/Sun/Bank Hol)?

• How soon after the initial consult can we expect to 'get started'?

• Does a 0% morphology rate mean it's 'game over' before we've begun? (Last consult was vague - hence decision to go to Guys, where they do a lot of work specifically on male fertility issues)

• What kind of drugs might be needed (for whom, what reason...), how long do we take them and how are they administered?

• What's involved in each specific stage in terms of time / duration (e.g. do I need to book a whole day off work/take the following day off, or is it a 'quick' appointment) - I appreciate I need to dedicate time to this and may find I need time for emotional reasons, just want to have an idea so I can plan!

• I had an internal and internal ultrasound six weeks ago - can these results be used?

On the last question, I guess I'll need to quickly get used to being poked and prodded, I just wasn't expecting it to happen in our last 'first consult'. I guess I need to be prepared for this next time!

Anything else I should know or think about for the first consult with our new guy at Guys?

Huge, huge thanks if you can help!

Teds, just looking at your latest post and your ICSI plans - my dh has had a number of sample tests through the GP and will be going for more through the consultant presumably after our next appointment.

Our fertility issue lies there - he has 0% morphology and the other results have been hovering around 'hmm, not great' levels, so we understand that should ICSI be successful and we get a little boy, he would likely be infertile too . We have no reason to believe he's inherited it, as his dad has had no issues in creating dh and his sister!

But, I hadn't thought about the morphology being a sign that dh might be a carrier for something else - is a morphology issue a common sign of other potential complications?