Anyone else about to start IVF?

[gardenpixie]

DH and I have our first IVF consultation in a couple of weeks and I just wondered if there was anyone out there who was in the same position?

We've had loads of tests done already so the Dr says we may well be able to start the treatment cycle sometime next month or early May.

We've been TTC #1 for 3yrs now and I am on cycle 5 of clomid so will continue with that until I start the IVF drugs. There are no obvious medical reasons why we haven't conceived naturally, just a case of unexplained infertility, I guess.

I know the odds of getting pg still aren't great but I am really excited about the fact that IVF even exists (isn't amazing what they can do?) and, although I am a bit apprehensive of everything it will involve, I am thrilled to be given the chance to see if it might work for us.

I would love to hear from anyone with any advice or who is in the same boat,

thanks for reading

Hello,
Sorry for crashing your thread but I have a question you might be able to help me with!
Would it be really odd if my DH wasn't with me for embryo transfer? it's a long story to do with living in the middle of nowhere, having to travel some distance to do a cycle of IVF and having lots of pets and a toddler DS at home who I don't want to leave without either parent for too long! There is every likelihood I will have a blasto transfer as I only want one to be put back, and it's just too long to leave the little man without either of us. So, DH would come over to do his bit and stay with me for egg collection, and then go home again while I stay. Would this be a problem for any reason?

Many thanks for your thoughts on this!

Hi GP, glad you posted thought you'd gone a bit quiet. Hmm all that sleep sounds good, glad you've managed to shake the virus. Hope you are ok. Do you think the drugs have been affecting you otherwise? I love re-run tv too, my own personal heroin. Thanks for the good wishes. Did you decide anything on the work front?

Bondi, great news re your follicles! that's a great number - is the ovulation blocker you'll be taking also a stimulation? Its good they scan so frequently isn't it, its good to know exactly what's going on. I think you might be right on what determins drugs regime, probably private vs NHS, and palso depending on what they know about the individual and conditions etc.

Kool and Luck thanks so much for your posts. Luck, totally know what you mean about the frogs! hmm and a few toads. couple of foxes here and there though. Kool, great news on the appointment, that will come round so soon, wishing you loads of luck. I love that phrase 'we're all behind you' that is so sweet. I love this thread.

Jumping, I really feel for you, I've been exactly there with a sibling and the pictures and the name. its so hard isn't it to feel torn between happy and really sad. I've always said if I could have a guarantee that it would be my time eventually then I'd be fine - tell yourself it will be your time soon enough!!!

Becca, when you said you'd made some changes for the better through this experience, what kinds of things?

Teds, if my ovaries are wrinkly too, then i hope they are of the helen mirren variety!

Womanly how are you feeling, are you managing to stay calm? Do you keep taking anything medication wise? Thinking of you.

Hi Ellangirl, welcome to the thread, its a bit hard to say as I haven't been through embryo transfer. I've had 4 scans and bloods on my own so far and its not been a problem that DH hasn't been with me, they're so efficient that I've been in and out really quickly. You could ring him straight afterwards right?

Do you know what's weird, sorry if this is TMI, I've had loads of CM this past week, and whereas before I would have been avidly watching this for when we needed to BD, this week I've had almost nostalgic thoughts along the lines of 'i remember those days'!!! never thought i'd be nostalgic over hopeful ttc'ing!

In case any of you haven't tried fertility yoga positions, I've dug these out recently and they are very relaxing www.yoga4fertility.com/yoga4fertility/poses.html

Hi to anyone else. Tried to update the list;

Carebear, 1st IVF cycle at Guys, EC on mon 30th
Teds, expecting to start ICSI at Guys in July
Gardenpixie, IVF treatment with Guys, now sniffing, 1st scan on 10th june
Bondi, IVF day 7, 2nd scan on mon 30th
Bodeccia, starting IVF when AF shows up, probably early June.
WomanlyTales, in second IUI cycle, due to test 10th june
BellaBlister, 1st ICSI cycle injecting suprecur.
Luckbealady, (awimberey) ICSI with Leeds end of June.
Koolforcats, at Guys, schedule appt for 10th june, start sniffing on 14th.
Jumping, having ICSI

Thanks Carebear. Would you mind very much if I added myself to the list? Sorry again for gatecrashing- very rude! I should at the very least have said hello! We're having ICSI due to severe male factor- DH has 0% motility. Already have a toddler DS naturally, who apparently is a medical miracle. Feeling very worried about the whole thing to be honest, so it's so helpful to read what you ladies are going through too. Good luck to everyone who has already started or just about to start!

Carebear, 1st IVF cycle at Guys, EC on mon 30th
Teds, expecting to start ICSI at Guys in July
Gardenpixie, IVF treatment with Guys, now sniffing, 1st scan on 10th june
Bondi, IVF day 7, 2nd scan on mon 30th
Bodeccia, starting IVF when AF shows up, probably early June.
WomanlyTales, in second IUI cycle, due to test 10th june
BellaBlister, 1st ICSI cycle injecting suprecur.
Luckbealady, (awimberey) ICSI with Leeds end of June.
Koolforcats, at Guys, schedule appt for 10th june, start sniffing on 14th.
Jumping, having ICSI
Ellangirl ICSI beginning June/July satellite with Leeds.

Welcome Ellangirl . I'm sure that it's fine for your DH to not be present at ET as long as you're fine with it. I guess it's important to feel as relaxed as possible so if he stayed and it resulted in you were both feeling anxious about your DS/pets etc it'd be counter productive. Oooh I'm imagining you in some idyllic, rural setting . Amazing that you already have a DS, wow. I'm sure you'll get on really well with ICSI.

Garden how are you feeling today?

I have everything crossed for you for tomorrow carebear. Do let us know how you're feeling. Thanks for the yoga link, I'll definitely check that out. I'm quite keen to be as earth mothery as possible during this process but hasn't quite started yet.....right now I'm more and .... Weirdly the CM thing happened to me too...I had an op for endometriosis a couple of months ago, and before that I barely used to get any and then last month I got loads - I coulnt help but smile at the irony.

Hi to everyone else and wisewomanly I do hope you're coping well with the 2ww

Ellangirl First of all WELCOME! This is a great bunch of ladies as I myself recently found out.

I agree with Kool it really is for you to decide how you want to play this thing. One thing I would say from experience (my DH has not been able to make many of our appointments so far) is that you include your man via text, calls, messages so that he still feels very involved and also, if you are OK that he isnt going to be around make sure he knows that. Then he wont stress about it either.

Now, a general question about Its our wedding anniversary tomorrow and I'd really like a glass of red with our meal. We are off to a place we have wanted to go for ages and I know a glass of beefy Shiaz is going to go down a treat with my Steak... (my mouth is watering already). The question is.... should I or not.... Is it absolutely NO BOOZE with IVF (or can I have a sneaky glass of red???).

Thanks for the lovely welcome! koolforcats pretty rural and idyllic yes, and annoyingly isolated from the rest of the UK too- shame you can't get IVF by mail order! I might like to be away by myself for a night I think- it'd be a lot quieter than my everyday life!! bondi yes to , it's only one glass, and it's your wedding anniversary! If it were hard drugs and fags I might be less liberal,but I think one glass of wine would be fine. Well I would anyway!

Bondi it was our wedding anniversary yesterday and I certainly had a glass of ! I've not started any drugs yet though, so I'm not sure of the rules..... Hope you have a lovely day. We went out for a lovely meal and ate so much, we practically waddled home

Hello ladies,
Happy Bank Holiday weekend :) I hope you are all making the most of the sunshine (despite the crazy winds!!)
Teds Hope AF has arrived and you're on your way for your cycle.

Garden Love the comment about a girl and a boy - I can see that almost all of us have that in common in this group - LOL.

Care DH's got me booked for a massage on Tuesday. I have the whole week off because my SIL is coming in Tuesday evening. So hopefully till next weekend I'll be too busy to think about all this - fingers crossed. And then will come the week after and the madness to June 10. In previous cycles, medicated or not with Clomid, or with IUI, I haven't made it to the test. The worst thing about IUI though is that even if you have your period, you still have to take the test and send them an email!!
I hope your follicles are making the best out of the long weekend - I am sure all the mentalling you are doing will move you forward :)
Love the yoga positions for fertility - am certainly going to try them Monday morning :) Thank you for updating the list too :)

Bondi Best of luck for your scan on Monday. Not sure about the rules around sniffing and wine BUT regardless with which way you went, I hope you had a lovely anniversary :)

luck Way to go on watching the show - Too Old to be... - Just hearing the title makes me feel scared of WHAT new nonsense people put out .. totally agree with you about finding someone we love..etc..

Kool We're now triplet buddies for the June 10 date.

Ellengirl Sorry I am very new to IUI and not at the IVF stage so can't help with your question. If you do not get an answer here, please do certainly try the thread on Assited Conception. Let me know if you need a link.

So ladies, I have been experiencing some intermittent pain on my left hand side (left ovary had the dominant follicle)...and it's got me and DH pleasantly amused. IE - Each time I feel something, we feel like we have to ttc. But then again, did they not plan the insemination LAST WEEK because they were ready for ovulation then.... I did plan on having a friend over for the weekend..so that I'd be distracted..but she couldn't make it so here I am, spending my time with google and assorted readings on pain post ovulation and what that could mean.. the first thread I read said it indicated kidney failure and that I need to get to a hospital like real fast - LOL. Nope, I don't buy that..and it's not serious, stabbing pain...it's just soft, throbbing - very much there, but on and off and each time I have these, I give DH the 'come hither darling' look LOL, that can't be all bad, now can it?

I also am in a fix. I have a 'friend' who's pregnant and due in August but REFUSED To tell me she was pregnant, until it came out during one of our girls-getogether lunch (at almost 5 months)..... Now another friend in our circle has sent out an email organizing her baby shower... I feel upset that I am not organizing it for her...she is a friend, is she not... but I know I was resisting because she refused to even tell me she is pregnant..and that made me feel like crap..especially because she wanted to know every detail of my fertility woes...and lied to me when I asked her about her health...not once but twice. The first time she miscarried..and that's why she said she did not want to share this with anyone.. but if that was the case, then why get chatty with me about what I was going through and then lie about where she was at... That guilt aside, I am wondering if I can go all the way and be terribly bad by not showing up for the shower... Also I feel if I show up, I'll unnecessarily now rake up all this bad feeling....and then want to leave quickly... and while a mature sensible person would actually just jump in and help make this a grand success... so there you have it -- not so wise any more.... WHY DO I CARE that she didn't tell me she was pregnant? If only I could get past this, I could handle anything else. I have no issues with pregnant women.. when they are friends, I feel all the more happy for them...but in this case, I feel terrible and very upset with her....

Oh womanly, its good to know your vulnerable side too, that gives the rest of us hope . We react this way I think, because even though our feelings at the moment are magnified, even if we weren't in the situation we are in, this would still hurt. This is a friend shutting us out, favouring someone else. Its a betrayal when we've opened up our hearts and trusted someone else with our most intimate details to find they havent done the same in return. Its an unfortunate truth that some friends are fabulous in a million ways, but can be totally unfabulous with handling our predicament. Who knows why she didn't tell you, but I bet it had everything to do with her and nothing to do with you. Is she a close enough friend to ask her why, or speak to her about it?

From experience the ONLY way to feel good about this is to fake a totally brave face, totally convince yourself you can do it (we'll be here for you), smile it out, brave it out, do whatever you would rationally do to feel you made a good contribution (no need to go overboard) .....and then feel amazing about yourself for going through with it, even if you go home and fall apart a bit after. Because otherwise (and I would hate to hear this but...) you'll only feel worse about yourself for not going on top of everything else. I wouldn't advocate this with all friendships but if its your closest friendship group then I would.

Here's some meditation breathing to try; close your eyes and breath in saying to yourself 'strength and love' and out with 'forgiveness'. x x x x

Oh womanly, you're no less wise, you're human! I can't say anything more insightful that care really as I totally agree that it's surely more about her and not about you. But of course that doesn't make it less painful for you so I really do sympathise. Having had a miscarriage myself last year, I do have to say that I'm pretty sure this is a big contributing factor in how she has behaved. I'm sure that if I get pregnant again I won't be secretive about it like she has been but the heartache of a miscarriage will certainly have an impact on the pregnancy, however hard I try to not let it. Also could she have been secretive about this pregnancy because she knew that you were having difficulties? She's obviously happy about the pregnancy but quite possibly she just feels awkward about it. Ultimately you feel let down by your friend and that's the thing that understandably is making you feel sad. I agree with care that sometimes it's especially disappointing when friends don't behave in the way they should. I know it's easy for me to say as I'm not sure how easy I'd find it but perhaps you should arrange to meet her and talk to her openly about it. If you tell her that your feelings were really hurt I'm sure she'll want to explain what was going on with her. If this is a friend you really value it needs to get sorted, otherwise the friendship won't ever feel the same, and that'd be the saddest thing about it.

Care I'll be thinking about you all day! I loved your meditative thoughts. What with this and your yoga positions, you sound like the earth mother I'm wanting to be!

Bondi happy anniversary! Cheers

Cor blimey, you go away for a few days, and there's LOADS to catch up on. Never a dull moment with this infertility milarkey...

Garden: I know it has been a few days since you mentioned your sadness around your childhood, and I hope you're feeling more positive. For me, this IVF journey has brought up all sorts of stuff from my rather turbulent childhood (my parent's divorce was quite ungracious and dramatic). Ever since I had the letter from the IVF clinic when DH and myself were referred, the reality that we would (even could) be parents at some point has been sinking in. It has made me question a lot of decisions my parents made about how my bro' and I were raised. I think it is totally natural to consider what you would be like as a parent, whether you had a difficult childhood or not. Reflecting on the way you were raised is bound to bring up some difficult memories or painful feelings if your own childhood wasn't brilliant. For me, without being sanctimonious, I'm just going to try to raise my kid(s) in a more loving, accepting way then I was raised. We can't change the past, but we can change the future (deep, maaaan!). Don't feel guilty about feeling sad, be gentle on yourself :)

womanly I've had some friends (one in particular) who have not been totally honest with me because of our going through IVF. It is really upsetting, because when friends don't share good (or bad) news, it is like they don't treat us like friends. What they're really trying to do is protect us from feeling upset that we are not pregnant (yet!) ourselves. In fact, being cut out of the group is more upsetting, but they don't realise it. Talk to your friend, be honest with her. I've had to have the "we're friends, I want to know your news whatever it is" talk with my friends. One of my really good friends had a termination, and didn't tell me because she thought it would upset me. In reality, what upset me is that she went through that without me. This IVF journey is really up and down, but we can still be supportive to other people when they need us, just like we can rejoice in other people's good news. When you're ready, talk to your friend, tell her how you feel, go to the baby shower, have emergency bar of chocolate/bottle of wine in your bag just in case.

carebear ooOOOOOoooooommmmm (positive, yogic vibes to you for today)

This post is way too long, so a quick hi to everyone else, and I hope the sniffing is going well, the ovaries and eggs are bulging and we've all got selective hearing aids turned on to tune out the "who'd-be-a-parent/when-are-you-going-start-trying-for-a-family/I'm-so-blessed-to-be-pregnant-with-my-seventh-child" type comments.
-_-

Hello ladies, I hope you are all having a lovely bank holiday!

Carebear biiiiiiiiig positive vibes heading your way - I hope everything goes really well today and that you have lots of ripe eggs ready for their big date with the swimmers. What is your timing looking like from now on? We were told we would have pretty much daily contact with the team between EC and ET so I am keeping my fingers crossed that you have positive news coming your way for the next few days

Bondi happy anniversary to you and mr Bondi ! we were told that I could have up to five units a week during the down regs and stimulation but not to have anything after ET. So I reckon a nice glass of vino sounds like a good idea! I had a glass of wine last night and it made me a bit sleepier than usual but I have to say it tasted soooo gooood

womanly how tricky for you. Sounds like your friend has been trying to protect you but has ended up making things worse. I can totally understand you feeling hurt by her lying and cutting you out of the pg conversation. I can only echo the wise words of the other ladies that if she is a good friend, and if you can be this charitable, then put it down to her being clumsy about how to involve you ... But also look after yourself and if you don't want to go to the shower then you can always find an elegant way of not going. Hope you are ok lovely and not going too bonkers on the 2ww. Here's a special tranquili-tea for you

Boddecia thanks for sharing your experiences ... I think I've been going through a similar thing. And you are right, our experiences will make sure our children will have a better childhood than we have, and that's the important thing And your hearing aid comment made me chuckle! I will definitely be setting my hearing aids to bilateral screening of unhelpful comments and dialling up the volume of positive ones!

Ellan welcome! Have a welcome ! I don't think my dh will def be able to come to ET, we were told that's fine as long as he comes to EC to pick me up and make his, ahem, contribution! I don't really mind either way and would rather he didn't if it made him stressed because he is missing too much work. I plan to be super selfish and just make sure I'm ok! He did say if he can't come then we should pay for a cab to take me home but it's such an easy journey for me to get home on the train, I'll have to see how I feel. Loving the idea of your rural home! Do you have any fun animals that we city dwellers can't have? DH and I have a Labrador and a cat but that's really all we can fit in to our house and garden. If we were in the country, I'd have chickens and, don't laugh, a donkey! But that's just me ...!

koolforcats how are you today? I hope everything is going well with you and your DH.

jumping hope you are doing well - have you made any decisions re clinics? Sorry if you have and I missed the post, I've mostly been asleep shaking off this virus thing so I may well have missed lots of important things

Big waves to everyone else! Hope you are all well

xxxxx

Hi garden , glad you're shaking off that virus and that you were able to have a cheeky last night. Thanks for asking after my DH, bless you. He's doing ok thanks, lots of sleeping. He has a few weeks off before the next cycle so we're hoping to be able to do some nice things before it starts again. I'm spending far too much time on MN at the mo...it's because I'm doing some work from home at the mo and find procrastinating so much more fun than working! But I just had to say, re your donkey comment, I'd have an alpaca . Also, if your DH can't make your ET and you realise that you'd like someone there, I'd be happy to come! Guy's is only 20 mins on the train. If that's an odd offer that's fine but I'm mostly not working because of DH so I have lots of time .

Bodeccia sorry that parts of your childhood were less than rosy. I'm totally sure that you'll make an ace mummy will be completely aware of the needs of your lovely dcs

Right, back to fiddling around on my iPad work! Does it matter that I just had a and cake break before starting my work? My MIL made us an eton mess cake (think traditional eton mess, plus the most delicious squashy sponge cake...) for our anniversary and it just seemed rude not to

Hi kool ooh and alpaca sounds awesome! Glad your DH is ok and that you are planning to do some nice things before his next cycle, you are obviously being a lovely DW and looking after him. I think you def deserve some cake and a rather than before playing with iPad working

Thank you so much for your offer of coming to the ET, that is really kind of you and I will certainly take you up on it if DH can't make it as it would be great to have some company!

Right off to walk the hound and plan other crazy animals I'd have if we had enough space

Xxxx

Happy Anniversary Kool and Bondi. x

Just a quick update as still feeling a bit woozy after EC today. There was a fair bit of waiting around, and I was quite scared on the way in - walking into the room with 3 strange male doctors and 1 strange female nurse. However, by the time I came back round I was feeling from all the drugs! Just was a bit sleepy for about another hour and then we were ready to leave....the consultant came for a quick chat and to tell us that they got 9 eggs out!!!! Couldn't believe it. Must have been all your follicle fattening vibes. Really, really chuffed that it went that well, no matter what happens next. Find out by about 4pm tomorrow if any have fertilised and if so then probably go back thurs or fri for ET. Its weird to think what our parts are up to right now. Fingers crossed like GP said, they are shimmying to the music underneath the disco ball just like DH and I did all those years ago. x x x

9?! That's fantastic! I'm delighted for you both. I'm sure the wine and canapés are helping them do their romantic thing right now! Good luck for tomorrow, what a great start x

Woo hoo 9!!!! That is excellent news now let's all send crooning music and romantic lighting to the little chaps and chapettes xxxx

Hi all

Have been away for the bank holiday and trying to catch up. Feel almost tearful at the thought of Care's eggies and Mr Care's swimmers getting it on under that disco ball

Fingers crossed my eggs are as easy as I was! ha ha .

carebear ! Pfffffffft! Xxxx

Ooh care, is it really strange thinking about possible babies being conceived right now?! I've got my fingers crossed for you.

garden glad someone else won't have DH there for ET then, it will make things a lot easier for us if it's just me over for that bit. Don't have any unusual animals no, mostly because the dogs would eat chickens if we had them! We have 2 cats and 2 dogs, one of which is a puppy hence worrying about leaving them all. My mum will come over to look after DS and the animals while we're away in Leeds for EC, but she has to bring 2 dogs of her own, so it'd be a lot for her to cope with for too long!

Quick question for those having IVF/ICSI, will anyone be opting for single embryo transfer? I'm being strongly advised to because of my age and the fact that when pregnant with DS I developed SPD problems with my pelvis. Any thoughts?

SPD means the pelvis becomes loose and unstable during pregnancy. It may mean that the extra weight and awkwardness from carrying 2 babies may mean I end up not really being able to walk at the end, as it tends to worsen with each pregnancy anyway. My DS was 8lb 6oz, so I don't do featherweight babies :-)
So, if I chose to have one put back, do you think they would def take it to blast transfer? I want the best chance of it working! Can't afford to do it lots of times!

From what I understand from the team at Guys, in the ideal world they want everyone to get to the blast transfer stage but it depends on the number and progression of embryos. So it there are lots of healthy growing embryos on days two and three, they will reco blast transfer on day five; but if there aren't that many viable embryos, they will reco two embryos be transferred before the blast stage to avoid getting to day five and having no embryos to transfer (the theory being it's easier for embryos to develop in the uterus than in the petri dish).

SPD doesn't sound much fun... So it sounds like a single blast transfer might be sensible so you get the highest chance of pg and the lowest chance of multiples. How do you feel about it?

carebear fab fab fab news that they got 9 eggs! You star!! I hope they've had a romantic night of lurve and are now subdividing and multiplying at a rate of knots.

You're an example to us all! That's really made my morning.

xxx