Roll up, roll up for the BESH fun fair in the land (30s)

[Truffkin]

Oh yes, this place is filled with your finest hormonal roller coasters, dodgems (mainly enjoyed by the spermz) and the finest side shows you'll find anywhere. Come and squeeze our buzzwams to check for imaginary aches & pains, play 'guess when I'm ovulating' (made all the harder when you're as wizened and decrepit as we are) and indulge in a little light WOOFLing if you're feeling up to the challenge. There's are even droid shies for taking out your pain on the beeping little fecker when he comes along to rain on your parade.

So, if you've been TTC since the chairoplanes were the latest attraction, let's hear about it.

Btw, I POAS this morning and again it said no - cheeky fucker. Aries I am very impressed with your duty sex yesterday. That's the way to do it! Remember that Will Smith song? "If push comes to shove you was conceived in love?" - that's what you can tell babyree - rather than "well your father climbed on and the cat was mewling and I was mentally making a shopping list".

Am also in agreement with general gloomy pall over the place at the moment and I think the weather does have something to do with it. Who says it can start getting cold and rainy again just as we approach march when spring should be trying to poke through? The good news is that you won't need to pay for your kids to go to uni as they can work harder at their part time jobs than they do at uni work to pay their expenses and then work even harder once they've graduated to pay back their loans! Sorted.

I am absolutely on board with the thinking that it's people who give a fuck who should be procreating so that some of the next generation are bovvered. If all of the intelligent, thoughtful and responsible people give up what would we be left with? Jeremy Kyle-ites on every street corner

Plus I always think of my great grandparents who were sprogging during the war and concentrating on making their family the focus of their world, rather than the huge macro issues that they couldn't impact, which I can imagine is not always a Bad Thing.

Anyone fancy a and a then?

I'll have a ta- although make it black. (Have started to measure out my milk in a bid to discover why after the inital marvellous weight drop off I have stalled, and have discovered its down to all the wine and chocolate I've been drinking my days allowance in two cups of tea. If I cut down there I willl still lose weight and be able to drink wine, yes?) I want laracroft to come back, she had some brilliant diet rules.

ski hope you're over the worst of the arghhhhh- you owe me one by the way, BBB single handely keeps the loo roll industry in business- I have no idea how he can use a roll in one sitting, but it has been known. I blame his mother, she clearly didn't teach him properly.

worrying ramifications- I keep trying to think of positive reassurances, but everything I think of makes me feel worse, so I recommend gin. Lots of gin.

Hey bbq you ok? (why when I do this, do I feel its slightly sinister? Is it because the smiley is dead behind the eyes?

LaraCroft is back! although fighting with some seriously stoopid IT problems so only three words show at a time in the "add your msg here" window... V annoying...

Aha - diet stuff... yes, I do have some creative rules as I try and contend with my low GI diet (scales haven't moved by the way but maybe because you have to do some exercise alongside the healthy eating!)

Mole - I will give you another pearl of dietery (sp) wisdom from the school of Lara... Last night I really, really fancied a huge hunk of steak with an enormous piece of chocolate fudge cake for dessert. Dunno how but I managed to fight the craving but in case I couldn't, I had an excuse up my sleeve ready to go - my body was simply suffering from an iron deficiency!!! Now I have no excuses as droid is over and I am into next cycle...

On my side (bollox this small typing box is pissing me off) I am seriously pissed off. Wicked stepmother announced she's coming to London this weekend and am I free to see kids (my half bro and sis) on Fri night. I said great, yes, llet's go for some Lebanese food. And then ten mins later she texted me to say my other sister will be joining us too (see my green monster thread) but cos she's updiffed, we have to go to her house for dinner. I can't face it and feel evil for saying so... I always put everyone first. My sis just announced she's PG last week and I can't face seeing her least of all everyone gushing over her and her newly developing bump. Grrrrr

Mole - you need lots and lots of milk otherwise you will get osteoporosis... as we will all be geriatric mothers we need to preserve our calcium levels and protect our bones otherwise we won't be able to hold our babies when they decide to arrive!

Hello, interview was awful. Threw my water over the table and then couldn't mop it up had to continue interview over a puddle and pile of sodden tissues. Was then so flustered that I did not do well at selling myself AT ALL. Will hear later today or tomorrow morning. Arse.

Oh Bitey :( :(. If it's any consolation, that's exactly the kind of thing I would do. It's no consolation at all, is it? Sorry to hear it anyway. You might be surprised. Have a nice

I once had an interview at a central government office. After the interview I fell down the entire main staircase. Not very dignified.

Have a huge bar of chocolate with your

I got the job! Well I never! Now, about this maternity leave...

Well fuck me! Well done you. Just shows...

Er...so when will you tell them you're diffed?

OMG - well done bitey - the water spilling was clearly good luck!

Yey! go bitey have a ! (non alcoholic obvs)

Woo hoo well done Bitey it was obviously your ability to answer questions in spite of having created a pond between you and the interviewer wot swung it

It must be the day for good news as I have been invited to attend an interview also. Have yet to agree a date but am hoping next week some time.

When will you be starting (and therefore in the clear to have the mat leave conversation)?

Well done Bitey! That's great news. They were probably closet klutz's and the water spilling was what did it for you...

Truffs - take notes!

And Rie, it is your solemn duty to try and try and try. Please? I is a police officer and I deal with the Jeremy Kyle show on a daily basis. It's truely terrifying how fast they breed. It makes me start to wonder, if the stupid/mean/evil gene is linked to fertility. All us BESH's need as many kids as possible. Honestly. 'tis tough being an idealist though huh?

PS - think today is the big ovulation day, so 2WOOLF-ing about to commence!

Spelling and grammer fail on last posts. Sigh.

I never knew you were a police officer Brownbabe! You learn something new everyday. I am going to call you Juliet Bravo.

Get cracking then!

Right. Does bad ovulation pain mean that it's an especially big egg that's just been released?

Big egg = good, right?!!

Loads to read tonight - although I did peek at work today. I got all misty eyed reading your 'reasons to bring a baybee into this cruel world' posts.

Lara Sorry about green eyed monster and updiffed sister rage - can you drink thyself stupid at dinner to ease the pain?

Brown I work for the Youth Offending Service - (at the mo specifically with parents) and I see the same Jeremy Kyle stuff you do. Also work alongside some cracking police officers and brilliant CSOs.

Truffs You most welcome to MESH (as is anyESH) - takes a coven village to raise a child and all that

BigbadLeroyBrown I don't know about your big egg. Some months when I lay an egg I think I am constipated, or have trapped wind; and sit on the loo waiting for something to happen. Not exactly the best precursor for the sechs.

My ex BFF was a copper and v mental.hope is not you... the stories she told me about the great unwashed. Oh my!

Well done bitey!

Can't believe you think i design bog rolls. The shame. I used to design software for mobile phones but now am PHB.

:o Ponytail

What's PHB?

It's a bad industry/dilbert joke. Pointy Haired Boss. Basically i dress like Jen, but have the social skills of Moss or Roy.

Oooh, you iz a BOSS. I too am a boss. I am in charge of myself and one summer girl.