Feisty Fabulous Forty somethings - part 2

[Curlylox]

woohoo over here

tina let's hope your colleague is right and has a spooky insight into these things.

italian thanks for th advise about the selling - I do agree actually. I don't really want to arrive in the IOW and instead of making friends for me and my DC's just be trying to flog expensive stuff to everyone - they'll all start avoiding me - which is not the plan. I have 3 'friends' in the IOW already. They are all virtual. 2 I met on MN (I posted on a Portsmouth and the Island thread) and one person whose sister I used to work with and who I now know on FB. So i have 3 friends and DH has none - unsociable git

lou glad all is ok with you. Look after GBOS for us - you know we are all gonna wanna meet him/her

mitzi - yes I think the time you take the temp can matter. I temped for a few months but found I was getting bloody obsessed, eg. dreaming I had woken up and taken it! Also, I found that one of the boys would have a bad dream and call out, I'd jump out of bed run in there and see that they were alright and then realise that it was too late to take my temp now cos I'd got out of bed but I didn't have 3 hours left to get more sleep (does that make any sense??) Anyway, I do think temping is good for finding out what's going on and for confirming ovulation but for me it was a bit too obssesive. I only ever did it on paper and have not tried the thing gum mentioned. Might be worth you doing that if it has an adjustment facility.

lol I hope the brown gloopy stuff is calming down - blimey the things we go through - yuck.

italian yes hairylights is indeed hairy triangle, she change dher name for christmas. I'm quite glad she did cos every time i read hairy triangle I imagined pubes (sorry hairy, couldn't help it ). I know that you did explain the real reason for the name and it was NOTHING to do with pubes.

min and BB I will follow your success with clomid with interest. I have been thinking that i might try it for a couple of months before giving up. Can you get it from a GP. I like the idea of it giving you better eggs - they need all the help they can get.

Nothing to report here. Don't think I've been successful this month - just a hunch, I have nothing to base it on. Except the fact that my endo is quite bad at the moment- but that could mean anything.

jolls I'll bet you're at the beach today - you lucky begger.

XXXXXX - love to all

Thanks hippychick66 and hopefulgum for the advice about temp recording. I'm finding that the earlier I do it (05:20 this morning) the lower the temp is. I went back to sleep and took it again when my alarm went off and it was quite a bit higher.

The main reason I'm doing it is that my progesterone was very low (8) when I was pregnant. I believe (correct me if I'm wrong) that it's progesterone that drives the temp increase in the 2nd half of the cycle (luteal phase?) so I thought temping would help me know if the low progesterone was specific to the pg or an ongoing problem. Is this right?

I saw the Womens Health Counsellor for the first time this morning. I asked her if she thought it would be OK for me to take a few days off work to try to process what's happened to me and come to terms with it. I feel like a bit of a fraud wanting time off now because I worked all through the mc. She said I'm not being a fraud at all, often we "crack" when the pressure is released, not when it's all piling up on us, and that (from her experience working with other women after mc) she recommends at least two weeks off! I almost fell off my chair. I'd love that but it seems excessive - I do always tend to rush back to work too soon, though. What does anyone else think?

Sorry to be "me, me, me" but this is all still very new to me and I don't really feel as if I can help any of you with stuff because you're all much more knowledgeable than me! I will get better, honest! Fingers crossed for TinaO99 though.

Mitzi you need to take as long as you need.For my first MMC i had 5 weeks off for my 2 nd MC i had a week after the erpc off but everyon'e individual.Why carry on at work? A job's only a job.

Obviously post Georgie i ve had 5 months off and went back at what would have been the end of my mat leave if i hadn t changed it to sick leave IYSWIM.

Italian - we lost our twins to a very specific id twin problem - TTTS and also suspected IUGR. They are our reason to keep going as if we got them past early mc then I can do it again. Yes my dh has had tests - his sperm has motility problems and a slight low count but 9 pregnancies in 4 years means they are moving quick enough! We have had all tests and nothing comes up. You may ask me anything

Hippy - I am not sure that clomid gives you better eggs - it makes you produce more of them so hopefully the good ones that are waiting down the line get pushed to the front with a few others. I am on 100mg so will wait to see what happens.

Thanks for all your welcomes, let's hope that we all get to fulfill our dreams.

Welcome min sorry for your losses. Hairy long time no "see", thought things were going ok for you....clearly not and I'm sorry to hear that too.
Well as I thought the bar-stewards got me for speeding, 3 points to my squeaky clean licence and my bank balance 60 quid lighter, oh joy!! BB are you excited anout Vietman, have you packed yet? Lou I'm glad the return to work has been a smooth transaction and it's so good to "hear" the "happy" Lou, like the spring in your step. I hope I've made myself clear and not offended you. Hippy did you tell your DH about the robbery at all?? As think that may the spurt he needs to complete the small jobs to get your home on the market, non???? Lol any news?
Right need to rush off to take DD to the Dr's, so will catch up with anyone I haven't mentioned later.

Italian yes, that's me.

I'm getting a referral to the recurrent mc thread, I hope (got consultant app next Tues)

Mitzi the AMH test, combined with the FSH/LH 3 day test will give some idea of your egg reserve. It tells you nothing about egg quality, just whether you have eggs, and if you are 'normal', 'reduced', 'low' or 'very low'.

I have had the above tests done privately as they couldn't be done on the NHS.

hi all. mitzi I took 3 weeks off with my mmc last year. I lost alot of blood and was just too anaemic to go back earlier, but I think that 2 weeks or more is perfectly reasonable (unless your way of coping is to throw yourself back into work). On temping, I had to stop doing this in the end - my waking up time was too erratic, and really affected my temperature. And the more I thought about temping, the more I woke up in the night to take my temperature - you need to have 3 hours solid sleep to get a good temperature I think, so it would worry me if I woke up at 4 that I wouldn't then be getting another 3 hours! So I stopped. I do miss not knowing when I ovulated though.

min In my case Clomid (or something else?) delayed ovulation this month, and the nurse said to me that that could be good - the eggs might be better quality if they're not released too early. But we'll see.

hippy I did have a couple of cps last year - got up to about cd40-43 or something and had bfps, but then it all went wrong. Nothing in the past few months though.

No I'm not packed, or ready. We don't have visas yet! But getting quite excited - booked our hotel on the beach last night - can't wait! Working like a maniac in the meantime, so hardly getting time to do anything, but it'll all be worth it I hope.

tina fingers crossed for you!

Curly no you haven t offended me at all.

Hello everyone, I feel like I know you all so please excuse any familiarity. I've been lurking on this thread for the last two years. I even posted a couple of times as modernart, my old nickname.

I just wanted to let you all know that I am pregnant at the grand old age of 45. I'm 7+2 and going for a scan tomorrow. I'm very scared but excited. If all goes well this will be baby no. 6, my others are all older (22-14) but I have remarried and DH has no children of his own so it will be his first. I haven't used any fertility aids as my DH wanted it to happen naturally. I personally would have done anything(!) but was happy to go along with his wishes. I temped for about a year but gave up as it was making me a bit obsessive. I take Dr Marilyn Glenville's Fertility+ and that's about it.

Huge congratulations to Diege and Louisesh. I love everyone's posts and they have really kept me going through everything.

Congratulations brinjal and it's good to hear some positive news, hopefully it'll do the trick to perk a few of us up. Fingers and everything else crossed that the next 7 months or so is boring and uneventful - in the nicest possible way.

brinjal - congrats. How funny that you've been reading all our mad ramblings for so long. Fingers crossed that all is good at the scan.

BB sorry to hear about the other losses. I had no idea (I think I sounded like I was doubting you and that was not my intention at all - I was just surprised as I thought your last loss was in that dreaded month of Feb 2010 - when loads of people had bad news) Hope you see what I mean [paranoid hippy face]

mitzi I had 2 weeks off with my MMC and about 1 week off with my MC. I just needed that time to adjust. You are perfectly entitled to have the time and NO ONE should think any less of you - it is such a sad time when all our hopes are dashed and you need to do whatever suits you.

min I think it is a double kick in the teeth when you've managed to get past the dreaded 12 weeks only to lose a baby (or babies) to somehting else. I know that's how we felt for lou as well. So many MC's and then you think you've finally done it and bam a stillbirth. I have no experince of this myself but can only hassard a guess at how cheated you and she must feel. My heart goes out to you. I also get what ou said about - if you don't try then there is NO chance at all. And I do agree, my mantra is you've gotta be in it to win it! But I still marvel at your strength. Did your hubbie like my cuddle I gave him???

Well the day has finally arrived. I am calling the Estate Agnent today and the house will go on the market tomorrow (if he can take the photos). I am scared and excited all at once. I have to clean up the house today which is not helped by the fact that I had hardly any sleep last night for thinking about what i needed to clean and finish today - also I feel a bit emotional and back achey and am sure this means I have not gotten preggers again this month.

Hippy runs off to clean the house - will report back tomorrow.

WOW! how things move on while you have a few busy days hello Mitzi three cheers to you for being fantastically brave and sticking with it I can only guess at what you have been through heres to a lucky egg for you soon. I too found temping bent me out of shape mentally but for what its worth my temp was lower the earlier I took it too ...in fact it would vary within a few mins of waking up when I tried taking it multiple times

BB we are heading off skiing with the kids next week but Vietnam the sun and the warmth would be amazing enjoy enjoy and give yourself a conception holiday ...
Hippy is that selling thing to do with Aloe Vera cos I had it sold to me by selling lady person and she looked fabulous on it ....but it was horrible and I couldn't choke it down every day so sadly remained a non glossy manky person ......I think you would have to be very committed, this lady even claimed she had her kids drinking the berry flavoured muck every morning "Bleuuuch!" looking back I don't think I belive it, even my dog wouldn't have eaten it and he likes horse poo ....
lol I too had the brown slime thing after mc I hope it settles down to the nornal AF sooner rather than later... oh and never google health stuff both my DC have had hospital issues in the last month ( broken hand and double vision ) and both when googled have brought up horrible potential conditions...both are fine
Deige Lou and Brinjal keep the good news coming nothing better than having people proving the gruesome stats wrong, hope you are all blooming soon
Tina099 all things crossed for you
nothing happening here I am CDsomething and trying to relax ( but have bought some smiley face whatsits cos they sounded lovely ...yes I am a marketing dream and obviously not as relaxed as I think) ...have taken up swimming every day and feel much better about things in general. Also, I read in the paper the other day that if you walk 45 mins a day 5 days a week you will lose 18 pounds in a year. The dog finished being a puppy and has needed a 1 hour walk every day for about a year now. On the basis I am not even 1lb lighter yet, in the next few days I should suddenly become Claudia Schiffer but not blond or as pretty ....what do you think my chances are ?
love to everybody else and best luck too you whatever stage you are at

isaboo - yes I think the yucky drink is part of the repertour (sp?). I laughed at your dog not drinking it but liking horse poo

I have told her that i don't think it's the right time for me with the move and all, I think she was a bit peeved cos as it's kinda pyramid selling she would have got money from my sales too. Ahh well she can stick to tickling my ovaries via my feet - can't she.

Am knackered from cleaning and still have some windows to do tomorrow. Estate agent due at 1.45. Note to self: please try to shower before he comes - you smell awful (hippy by name etc).

love to all
X

Hi all
I haven't posted for a while, but I've been temping all month and having thought it wasn't working for me initially there does seem to be a bit of a pattern. Not the marked temperature difference I expected from reading Toni's book Taking charge of your fertility but almost a degree.

Far more exciting than all that I'm on Cd 29 and still no af, in the last few months when I've been monitoring my af has started at cd26-28. A little early to speculate I know and different to my other months I've not got any pg symptoms.

Anyway I think I'm going to test tomorrow am as I'm due to go out tomorrow and I won't want to drink if there's any chance of a Bfp!

Love to all. There seems to have been a lot going on but I think I'll have to re-read to remember all your circumstances and names before I comment and possibly would put my foot in it and get you all mixed up.

Hi all - thanks for your lovely messages. Brown gloop turned into monster red clots, flooding in middle of night etc. Then cramps with no blood. So, I'm pretty sure I'm flushed out. Spotty, grotty and grey, but alive and still smiling. Ok, I lied about the smiling.

Really really happy to hear your news Brinjal, you fellow 45 year-old, you. And naturally! You didn't even sniff aloe vera or pour clomid on your cornflakes? Very encouraging. Had actually been gloomily considering going on the pill. They're sitting in my drawer, waiting to opened. But Hippy's 'in it to win it' is probably what I should be thinking.

Curly bummer about the speeding. I've just got done for parking for too long at Thurrock Services. £50!!!!!!! I was only there to meet my mum (it's half way) and we must have spent that in Costa. Grrrr. What happened with you this month? I'm guessing no brown gunk but no BFP?

Feeling bit low (work's so manic - late nights EVERY night) and had a bit of a row with DP. You remember I whinged that he was taking a school trip to South Africa for two weeks with that gorgeous younger woman? Well, now we've worked out that all we can afford to do time/moneywise ourselves in the whole summer holidays is two days camping and possibly a mini-break with his parents. Bloody hell. No wonder I'm jealous. I keep trying to sound logical, but I'm just not. She's going on holiday this year with my dp and I'm not! Ok, whinge over. Lol goes back into cave and tries to find magic potion to turn her back into a nice person...

Lol, sorry you are feeling low. I'm feeling a bit that way too. I can totally understand how you feel about him going on the school trip, especially if you don't get a proper holiday with him.

Curly, I hope you don't mind - I checked out your chart on FF, sorry to see you are also on CD1 (me too).

This last couple of days I have been thinking about my miscarriage. I thought I was doing okay, but when AF approaches it just seems like a kick in the gut!

When I told my DH how I was feeling he told me he was sad for me, but glad I am not pregnant. It really hurts to hear this. I knew he didn't really want to to ttc, but he's been "actively" involved iykwim. I had the idea of giving him an early Christmas card and saying,"thankyou for the early Christmas gift, I'm due December 3rd!" And I imagined he would actually be happy. I know now I'm fooling myself, and that makes me feel lousy.

I don't know where to go from here. The yearning for a babe is so real and I don't think I can brush it off, but I don't want to ttc on my own either.

It's hard enough being over 40 ttc without the pain and sadness of a loss and a DH who isn't on board.

Tina and Shandy, any news?

Hippy, it's great to hear you are ready to put your house on the market. It must feel good to be doing it and planning for your move. Does your DH have a job lined up on the IOW? It's really exciting and I suppose it may help keep your mind off ttc?

How are our pregnant ladies going? How far along are you now? Deige, when will you have a scan?

I wonder if Lia has had her baby? Can't wait to hear about it.

Nooooooo you are nice no make that very nice you have just had the equivalent of a hormone bomb go off and need some time to let your body calm down and you are entitled ... No make that obliged to feel low insecure and generally rubbish because you will make the rest of us look bad for being all of those things when we were in the same position ... It sucks all of it but I should hold of any big decisions till you feel more like normal and take from me Gorgeous younger women are generally shallow and a bit dull ........take care

Hi all. The crappy af has come Cd30!! I had got my sample and test paper waiting and I looked back and saw a speck of blood on the toilet seat, sorry for tmi, but would you believe. And then I remembered someone else here said they'd had the same thing. Crap if crapness and the months roll on.

mitzi you take care of yourself I remember I was all over the place for s while after bothh mc's. It's disappointing enough at the end if the month to be late and get a bfn but it's miles worse to have the elation of a Bfp and all the hope and then stop. I'd got to the stage where we had told gp x 2 and were about to tell all.

Anyway better get to work and face the day to day stuff. I managed to get by so far decorating cakes with dd1 first thing i'n the morning. And then I look at my two lovely dd's and I feel guilty I'missing enjoying them with obsessing for another. What a state of affairs.

shandy how shit is that!!! I have had that happen as well. Once I even peed directly on to the HPT (before I started collecting pots of wee ) and as I weed my period started onto the stick - it's like our bodies wait for the most heartbreaking point to break the news. So sorry for you.

I totally get what you say about your DD's. I was getting a bit like that after my second MC I was really obsessed about getting preggers again and had to take stock and look at my DS's and remember that they are already here and they need me now. I think the whole move and starting a 'hopefully' helathier life for all of us has helped me to focus more on the here and now and less on the maybe.

But it is CD1 for you Mrs and that is the shittiest day of the month so you are allowed to be miserable and grumpy.

OMG lol - I must have missed that story about your DP going away with the school. I would be very if I were you and I would be very vocal about just how I was. You have every right to be peeved, but remember he's not actually doing it to be horrid - just the way it's worked out. he will have to be sooooo nice to you when he gets back. Don't worry about the young woman, he loves you, he chose you and he'd much rather have a holiday with you if he could

gum Oh dear sweetie. I don't know what to say. your DH does seem pretty decided about it all and yet he is still actively having unprotected sex. Do you think he just doesn't want to see you go through any more pain or is it that he simply doesn't want any more babies?? i completely understand you feeling down about the MC, After mine I found that every period was like a harsh reminder that I was no longer pregnant. ((())) I prescribe a walk on your lovely beach with Charlie Bear. XXX

lou & diege hello lovely pregnant women - hang on in there.

jolls big wave to you, how is your crazy life these days???

italian not lng to go now - keep moving up that list

More cleaning today - windows (which i am crap at doing as they go all smeary). Then i am gonna sit and await the arrival of the estate agent. Nothing to report re: my body. I think I'm about 9/10 days post ov (but not sure as I didn't get the smiley face but did get the pains). This is usually the point where I start to think and then start spotting. Time will tell....

Thank you for your kind words. I had my scan yesterday, vaginal, youch. And although there was a heartbeat they thought that it looked much smaller than the 7+3 that I am, going by my LMP. There were two of them taking it in turns. One said more it looked more like 5+ weeks. Afterwards I thought surely there wouldn't have been a heartbeat in that case? But I didn't think to ask. I've got to go back in two weeks.

I know hippy I'm rubbish. I would have got much more from the thread if I had joined in. Especially as I had a miscarriage (at 6 weeks) last year too around the same time several of you did. I don't know what stopped me. Possibly I'm a bit paranoid that people from rl will work out who I am (self-obsessed)?

lol I did try one lot of DHEA last year but nothing happened except it made my joints ache, I thought I'd turned into an old lady until I read that it was a side effect. Coupled with the facial hair growth(!) I got seriously scared off supplements. Always been too scared to try clomid for the same reason.

Warm wishes to you all.

hopeful gum of course I don't mind and actually I'm cool about af arriving...why you ask......well my pilates teacher is into complimentary/ alternative therapy and suggested I try homeopathy. Sent off a lock of my hair along with completing a general questionnaire, it came back that my "organic bowel was toxic" amongst other things. I do have trouble with my digestive system with certain foods. He listed remedies I should take, where to purchase them along with the price too. One is a powder I mix with water to drink before I go to bed, it's vile, really horrid and Vitamin E was also suggested too. Fast forward 5 weeks and the result is my skin is better (unfortunately I'm prone to acne even though I'm fast approaching 44, had beautiful skin up until I had my DS nearly 22 years ago then it all went to pot), my pms hasn't been as bad, no sugar craving, cramps less severe, af not as heavy, not as bloated and a "normal" length cycle which means my luteal phase is longer than 10 days, yay!
Off to walk the dog will try and check in later although MIL is down for the weekend, hello to you all and hope you're enjoying the sunshine.

shandy that happens to me every month! I can now guarantee that if I poas my period will start! In fact, I have started poas to make it start.

gum so sorry you are in this situation. I am in a similar one, although my dh is happy to have another baby. but he wouldn't if it was down to him iysim. I know it's hard.

lol hope you feel better soon. i always start to feel ridiculously optimistic after a few days.

hippy fingers crossed for you! and hope the estate agent visit goes well. I saw a lovely place for us to rent in L, but can't go and see it because we're off on our hols (did I mention that?) and it probably won't be here when we get back. Oh well.

I think I'm about 7/8 days dpo too. Don't know exactly when I oved, but got a peak last Friday and Saturday. No signs here - I always get sore boobs and a bit of nausea at this time anyway so nothing new there. But I'm thinking of hiding a pregnancy test in my rucksack now - so much for waiting and seeing!

And wah-hay it's Friday! and a beautiful day! Lucky you jolls hope you make it to the beach. I've had to come into work today (boohoo) but came in a bit later and wandered round lovely B for a bit before I came.

still full of optimism, but waiting for the inevitable cramps/spotting/grumpiness to start...

curly that sounds really interesting. I'm pretty sure I would have a toxic bowel too! Maybe I'll start to explore that when I get back from hols. I didn't realise you had a 22 yo ds too! wow.

Hi all
Bloody work gets in the way of everything.I m fine.Finally managed to get my referral done via my gp back to my consultant.I ll be seeing her at 10 weeks to continue my shared care package.
Welcome Brinjal congrats X
Hi Hippy hope you got on ok with the estate agent?
Hi Curly hope you enjoyed your walk? Lovely sunny day.
Hi Italian Hope that hamster's still thriving?
Hi Diege u ok? My buddy XXX
Hi Gum sorry you re down X
Hi Shandy,Lol,Panashe,Tina and Mitzi
Hi BB how exciting nearly Vietnam time yeh!!!!!!!!!!!! My bruv is there at the moment and loves it.

Everyone ready for the Bistro? Just been chillin today lovely to be off work

I think we need to decide who is gonna do the cooking cos quite frankly I found that chicken soup a bit lacking last week