Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake, wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting, weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 12)

[KnitterNotTwitter]

A safe place for everyone on the TTC after MC rollercoaster. Welcome and come in - virtual wine and chocolate for all, and lots of support and hand-holding until you get your BFP!

The thread moves fast but don't let that put you off - feel free to come along and stay to chat; or dip in and out with any questions.

If you want to join the stats, just add yourself to the list:

WTTC = waiting to TTC
UCL = usual cycle length

Good luck to all - here's hoping for lots of healthy, sticky BFPs by the end of the thread

For reference here's a link back to the previous thread

Latest stats to follow in a moment!

oh.. why is that all bold then?! doh

Hello

Velvet sorry you are having such a difficult time.

Chloe, what an unfeeling friend, partic when she had been on the TTC rollercoaster too, no wonder you were gutted.
(Someone did that to me in June 09, I have only spoken to them when I've really had to since. I know that's mean but it's the only way I could cope without literally going apesh*t at her for being so mean)

About the MN thing - a tough call - hang onto what owl says about being able to use this as and when you need it.

The link I posted on the mc boards has the stuff that might help OH's on it.
www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/
the sections on grief and support really helped my OH to understand the position I was in and how it differed and was going to differ from his for a while, and that neither of our reactions were right or wrong.

The site really seems to offer some good advice about the psychological stress of coping with mc and ttc afterwards. Hope it can be of use to you - and apologies if you've already found through endless googling.

mouse thinking of you today

Well. I don't really know where to begin.

I'll start with me
I have had a lovely weekend, plenty of lovely food, eating, drinking galore, seeing lovely friends, and all in all having an amazing time in the big smoke. Went to borough markets, did a pub crawl round camden-ish area, visited the Tate Modern. In terms of ttc we didn't temp or swi, as had the whole weekend off. I am on day 14, but don't usually ov till day 20ish, so that's ok. todays temps and cm fit with pre-ov. SMEP (should I be calling it SMEG-I loved Red Dwarf too) is starting in eaarnest today, i'll see how it goes.

velvet sorry that DH is being a dick. Was it in relation to all the stuff he's said before about if you drink you're not really comitted to the ttc? Obviously I am NOT thinking this is the way forward, you need to stay happy and relaxed IMO about ttc. Hugs.

mouse good luck for today. I hope it all goes ok, and they are as kind and thoughtful as we would hope they can be.

chloe I think there are certainly times when these boards help more than they hinder, but certainly it is possible to become too obsessive about it all. I try to compartmentalise my ttc worrying to here, but it's not always as easy as that.

Hi blackat

wombat so sorry to hear that. FX for today for you, as peeps have said bleeding does seem to be more common post mc. Good luck, I'm sure it will be fine.

mummya I'm oving around Valentines day! eek. Hope your night out Friday was good.

Really sorry all, but i've missed so much, and will just try to keep up from now, if i've missed anything really important please don't take it personally. hugs to all.

Who's on 2ww then? izz and velvet?

Just a quick catch-up from me...
Off to the GP tomorrow to try to plead for a scan. Doesn't feel real yet.

MummyA - hooray for a valentine's ovulation! And I'm so glad the counselling is going okay.

Izzy - last time I made fairy cakes with DD they ended up as fairy biscuits, and were only good for drowning in bananas and custard. Yum. Glad you're zenish and I will be chart-stalking soon!

A&R - I like the sound of your job - drinking coffee and organising people... that's what I do at the weekend! I love your four-room analogy. Very helpful.

Cep - looks like your temps are levelling out - bodes well for learning a bit more about your body this month.

Loola - poor you with a hellish week. Hope this week is better.

Mouse - I wish I was a genie so I could grant you and everyone else here your wishlist, and I hope your work-people treated you well today.

Velvet - frustrated "aaarghghghghgh" on your behalf at DH refusing to co-operate and being nasty now. I hope you enjoyed your night out regardless.

Hils - sounds like you might not be quite ready to go back yet, but there may come a point fairly soon where you find that sitting at home with lots of thinking time is not helping any more, and we will all hold your hand and listen to any rants when you decide to go back.

Chloe - sorry things are difficult for you, that your friend was insensitive/misguided, and that you feel so sad. You know you don't have to decide to either stay or leave the thread - you can dip in and out and people will understand.

YRMOTB - sounds like a lovely weekend - enjoy your SMEP! (I was just dyslexic and typed SPAM for some reason... but didn't think you'd understand if I left it in!)

Waves at blackkat, hadrian, zam, lily, lili, collie, natalie and anyone else!

Spam is distinctly unsexy Emoo!!

tried to post this last night by MN wouldnt let me - site maintenance

will catch up with todays events later

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chloe you sound like you are really hurting at the moment I personally cant recommend counselling enough, because its really working for me. I went right after my mc but did a couple of sessions and didnt keep it up (was skint) but I really wished I had, its doing me the world of good now. Have you ever called the miscarriage association? Could be a good place to start. I know starting/stopping fertility meds is always a landmark and means so much more than just taking a pill. You definitely need a bit of extra support at these times, so if you feel counselling is right for you, it doesnt really matter what your DH's opinion is about it, you know what you need much better than anyone else (and he will thank you for it when his happy wife comes back!) As far as getting him to read this thread, it might help, but I have found that trying to get my DH to "understand" what I have been going through has been a great big waste of energy. He hasnt lived through what I have, so he never will really understand what its like or be able to be as supportive as I want him to be. I am doing much better getting the help and support from a professional counsellor and it is making me and my relationship so much better. Whatever you decide to do, please dont suffer in silence, you deserve to have some help and support, please reach out and ask for it, it can make all the difference to your quality of life.

I also agree with the others that your friend was really insensitive! Really really really insensitve!! God, what was she thinking?!

If you decide to take a break from the thread please know that we are always here for you if you decide to come back later. Much love xxx

Velvet I know what its like to have DH troubles on top of fertility issues, its a bit like having the rug pulled out from under your feet because if there is ever a time you need extra kindness and support its now! However, counselling is making me see that I can focus on how hurt I feel and how unfair it all is, or focus on how much I have been through and survived and how strong it has made me. So, I am sending you some or my newfound strong powerful vibes so that you can feel empowered and courageous. xxxx

mouse best of luck tomorrow! You probably wont need it though, as you already feel secure in what a great teacher you are and you seem super alert to any potential harrassment, and you have a great plan to end the meeting if need be, armed with all of that you can take on the world

wombat sorry to hear about the bleeding. fingers crossed, and silver dollars and fourleaf clovers out for you. I'm just willing everything to be OK for you xxxx

big hello for BrownB and BiscuitChart

cep it was me that sent you a friend request on FF - wanted to be able to find your charts again as you seem to know what you're doing.... And i'm just learning FF - sorry it didn't tell you that it was me doing the request - i assumed that it would!

My magic spreadsheet is a big excel spreadsheet that I put together when planning to get pregnant with DS. My work has some tricksy quirks to its maternity policy which - if you play them right - double your maternity pay! What it wasn't really designed for was predicting ovulation dates but I have been using it for that.... without checking the formulae - until now! Whoops!

Sorry I wasn't around for the weekend - have just caught up!

In theory AF is due tomorrow... didn't test this morning as I don't like doing the test in front of my DS... no indications either way from my body... so most likely AF will turn up tomorrow as expected... sigh...

Chloe/others I was very active in this thread when I first joined... then I only posted when AF turned up to keep the stats up to date... now I'm a bit more regular... I think the thing is to use MNet to suit you - don't be a slave to it. I don't try to respond to every post - I just don't have the oomph to do that any more - but I do try and post on the big ones and if someone new comes on or if something especially good/awful happens in someeones life...

mouse might be too late but if you have to have this chat with work people can I suggest that you try and 'lead' the conversation. If you can set the agenda at all then it'll help... Make them feel good for giving you the space you need (rather than feel bad for not giving you the space right now) and also talk about the importance of returning once you are able to do a great job again - rather than rushing back and then not coping and being of for longer in the long-run (like me :()

I think SMEG-plan is a great name (love Red Dwarf too!)

Emoo hope you get that scan, good luck

YRNOTB hello fellow Valentines ov'er. I cant help feeling this is a lucky omen! I did have a lovely weekend thanks, the nice thing about counselling is that we discuss all the stressy stuff in one go, and then have the rest of the week to do fun things

right better get on with the day... off to a shakey start this week as yesterday me and DH realised the cleaner stole our wedding rings

MummyA OMG that is awful, how sad and angry-making...

Just checked my magic SS and it's actually today that AF is due.... no sign yet so obviously I'm getting over excited... must calm down otherwise I'm going to be a dribbling wreck AGAIN...

Can some one throw a fish or two at me so I have something to distract me please....

Fuck, all my jewelry and our ipods are missing too... FFS.

oooh pretty fish....totally distracted and not thinking about PGness/not at all, nope, not at all... honest....

Re the SMEG -Plan to save it being another separate list to maintain shall we combine it with the daily stats list....?

Also looking at the stats some of our 'recent graduates' aren't that recent any more.... some of them must be pretty much due to give birth!! Should we trim a few of them to make the stats more balanced....?

Monday's LIST

Chloe55 TTC #2, cycle 5 post MC#2 UCLrandom CD31
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, MC#2, cycle 6 UCL 25-30 CD28
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, Cycle 6 UCL28-32 CD24
Getawiggleon TTC#2, Cycle? UCL28-32 CD23
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 4 UCL29 CD 19
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 6 UCL 30-33, CD18
ZamMummyInGabs TTC#3 cycle 2 postMC#2 UCL26-28, CD17
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 7 UCL 24-30 CD16
Loola2shu TTC#3 Cycle 6 UCL35-38,CD15
Youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 6 UCL33 CD14
Kat2504 ttc#1 cycle 6 ucl28, CD10
Cep TTC#2 Cycle 2 UCL24-28 CD10
Ochaye TTC#3 cycle 1 UCL 31 CD8
MummyAbroad TTC #2, cycle 2 (Post AS Op)) UCL28 CD7

WTTC
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 6 UCL 27
Barrenbrook TTC#1, MC#4 Oct 2010
Hadrian TTC#1, MC#1 Dec 2010, WTF cycle
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#2
Collie TTC#1 MC#1 Dec 2010
BlackKat

MIA
BrownB TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL 24-26

RECENT BFP's
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Emoo TTC#2, Cycle 1 (post MC1) UCL 26-30, 30/1/11
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 5 UCL28 CD31 BFP 25 Jan 2011
Hairytriangle TTC#1 cycle 1 (post MC2) UCL ?28 BFP Jan 2011
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 22 UCL24-9 CD29 BFP 16 Jan 2011
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 5, UCL 28-35 CD29 BFP!!
Lemonsherbert BFP 18 Jan 2011
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 5 (post mc1), UCL 37, CD30 BFP 18 Jan 2011
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 5 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD28
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 3 (post MC) UCL 31
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 5 (round 3) UCL27 CD27
Owlbooty TTC#1, cycle 5
Nickstermum TTC#2 cycle 2 post MC UCL 30-40
PrettyQuichey TTC#1, (round 7) UCL 28-30
Lovebeingadaddysgirl TTC#? WTC cycle
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2

RECENT GRADUATES
BUnderthebonnet BFP 20 June
Muser BFP 22 June
northerngoldilocks - BFP 12 July
Magic8ballhastheanswers BFP 14 July
Hopefully BFP 22 July
IvySedai BFP 1 August
PenguinsMummy BFP 15th August
VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP 24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oct
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov
Inbetweener BFP 10 Nov

Damn - the fish stopped working....

Right I'm leaving work now (Gasp) to go home and POAS... then when it' a BFN I'll be able to blame afternoon wee and internet cheepie sticks and still retain a flicker of hope for tomorrow morning.....

Fingers crossed please ladies....

And FWIW my (probably imaginary) symptoms are needing to wee a lot, sensitive to smells and blacking out when standing up quickly twice last night when DS woke in the night - never done that before.....

Writing them down it does sound hopefull doesn't it.... AGGGGGGGG.....

knitter ohh good luck, I really hope it's a BFP!!! The suspence!!!!

mummya at your cleaner. What a betrayal.

Thank you so much for taking the time for a detailed reply ladies. I feel more reassured that it seems a lot of you have similar feelings to what I am going through at present. And thats for the MA links Blackkat and MummyA I did go on that website almost 6 months ago when the MC had just happened and didn't really take any of it in. Have had a good read through it again now and will be printing off and highlighting some bits anf pieces to give to dh as a lot of it is so apt. I think he will appreciate the 'men and MC' part too. I have rung the doc today to make an appointment but need to call back in the morning to see if any appointments have opened up as full now til next week and I just want to get on with things.

I will be POAS tomorrow morning with a digital (providing dh remembers to pick me one up!) and I will be strong, I will be strong, I will be strong as I know what I am to expect. The thing that has pissed me off a bit though is that I need to see the gp to get the prescription for the Provera (to start my AF if I am not pg) and if I can't get in until next week then I will be as it will also mean I will be on AF for my birthday! Oh, and I can't remember who asked now but I am having a big party.

A&R - Thank you for the room image, it makes perfect sense when things get explained like that, I just wish I could visit the content wall a little more than the despair at the moment.

MummyA - I can not believe the cleaner has nicked your stuff! Was she new? Have you confronted her or has she done a runner? You must be so and

Knitter - Best of luck for this evening's POAS action. We haven't had a BFP yet on this thread have we? Maybe you will the first - your symptoms sound very promising

MouseBacon - I hope today has gone well for you.

YRMOTB - You sound like you have had a lovely weekend and have come back all ZEN like. I have a weekend in Butlins coming up in a couple of weeks so hopefully I will be returning with your same optimism.

Velvet - sorry about the lack of support from Mrvelvet at the moment. I hope he bucks his ideas up soon!

A big Hi!! to everyone else as I really should get on with some housework and make a start on tea. But, just to let you know, I think I will stay put here, at least for a little while longer as I really do think the support helps. I have been a MN member for nearly 6 years now and do tend to dip in and out depending on where I am in my life. I found the antenatal threads a godsend when I was pg with ds so I know it can help. I am up for joining in with the SMEG and wouldn't know if I was doing it right without you lot I also feel that when, yes that's right, when I do get a BFP you guys may be the only ones I tell for a while at least and I love a gossip!

knitter no worries i figured it was someone from here. Does it show you my chart? cause it still won't show me anything, do you tick the box next to member number and press homepage?? have you taken it yet???? fx for bfp.

mummya glad you hada good weekend, that's disgusting about your cleaner. Is she a regular or through an agency?? Make a list and contact police.

velvet sorry dh is being so difficult at the moment.

BFP :)

twas a faint line on an internet cheepy but as they say a line is a line.... Haven't told DH yet but suppose I aught to ring him :)

So excited but tempered with the knowledge that it's the first of a series of hurdles.... Next will be the is it ectopic question.... it'll be a scan next week for that I guess.....

yippeeee knitter oh congratulations honey, first bfp of the thread so pleased for you. [grin

oh and just tried ff again and it showed me a chart but without temps yet. is that correct? Although unnecessary now.