Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 10)

[youremindmeofthebaubles]

Had a miscarriage and ready to try again? This is the place for you, support in the form of virtual wine, chocolate and a great big shoulder to cry on (tears not essential). The new year beckons us, lots of BFP's for everyone

UCL= Usual cycle Length
CD= cycle day

Erm, I mean YRMOTB, of course...

Hurrah hurrah!! The Oracle agrees with me may not be a temping dunce after all

Thank you for all the welcomes.

mummya At an approx guess as not exactly sure when bleeding stopped. but i think i stopped bleeding approx 24 days ago. I started bleeding lightly on the 1/12 and passed the baby on 2/12 had confirmation scan that everything was ok on the 10/12 where i was having v light bleeding/spotting. I haven't taken a test as it never occured to me to do so. Should i still do so? i don't think i have any left from before.

i'm still having the teasing wipes. I was warned about the chance of 1st af being heavy but can you get it really light?? in which case would i ov?

Welcome to the newbies.

YRM def cd20 imo cos your thermal shift comes straight after. Sometimes there is a dip straight after, see what they do tomorrow. I wouldnt say its annovulatory!

@ AandR for flogging him for swimmers! I could do with your idiots guide when you're done

YRMOTB I haven't a clue about charts, so I am just sending you general positive vibes luckily there are others already on hand for the technicals

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I had a blob or red/orange this morning when I got back in, followed by occasional wipes of brown since. My zen has gone, it could still be ok, right? This fecking cold doesn't help!

hmmm seem to still have EWCM. Could my chem preg last month have shifted my ov date by a couple of days? Do I need to whip poor DH into shape for more action do you think?

xpost Orange - sorry for reminding you of work! Lots of positive vibes going your way. Take heart from the hundreds of stories of people who bleed all the way through pregnancy. It most certainly isn't all over lovely. ((((hugs))))

YRMOTB I think it's right. If you were, like me, drinking plenty over Christmas that would explain the previous high temps

orange yes it can still be, and probably is, absolutely fine. Sending you big (((hugs))) though because I imagine you're probably starting to lose the plot around now and aren't feeling very reassured. Deep breaths, chica, and roll on Monday x

aandr your poor dh! But yes, keep whipping. [complete lack of sympathy emoticon]

pink lol at sperm snatching!!! We seem to have had a bit of a breakthrough this month, in that I'm not obsessing and insisting on every day sex and dh has completely resigned himself to it and is not refusing on grounds of tiredness!!! Only on day 12 so still plenty of time for shagging rows yet, but it seems a lot more chilled for some reason..

Thanks, I needed a pep talk. I'm going to copy and paste everything everyone's said onto a note on my phone to re-read constantly :)

I'd go for the action just in case I really havent the heart to < you since you came back to be nice to me!

YRMOTB like Orange I am no charter, but if The Oracle has spoken....

Still got FX for you orange I do think it would be getting much heavier if mc

I still haven't said a proper hello to Mummyis Kat tigger Emoo and AandRmum Hadrian wombat Choccy and certainly haven't waved at Izzy Jolls Wiglleon Velvet for a while either. And there will be more my befuddled brain has forgotten no doubt...

I need your advice girls, wasn't going to post as haven't told anyone in RL yet but I need to know what you think...

Dh was referred for a circumcision (for medical reasons obv) and got a date through for early Jan, hospital then cancelled it for reasons unknown and he was told to rebook and its now early Feb. My dilemma is this:

Yes, it needs doing, yes he is uncomfortable (but only after lots of sex!) But the 5 pregnancies I've conceived

Keep whipping your poor poor dh must have nerves of steel, and I won't say what else to match! Let's just say you must be good at tha whipping to keep him going when hes lurged up!

Izz glad you are shag rowless :) nowt worse! Keep going too!

Love that term pink, used to snatch sperm from dh... Discarded now! The thought of sex Urgh !

Was it wiggles who reminded me that Ff classed my swi efforts as poor? I know! I know! good swimmers :) keep up the effort girls xxxxxx

Emoo sorry I misunderstood your dh. I thought swinging between wanting it and not meant he was happy for sperm snatching to continue ish?! Ok you need a strategy... How can you get him in a situation where he is begging you for it, you need a plan :) good to see you back xx

Waves to all the newbies, hope you are doing ok and things are starting to appear more positive. It takes time! X

Boa I would make him suffer just a touch longer! Gosh all the talk of whipping I sound like a right sadistic witch

BOA what does DH think? If he's happy to wait then maybe wait, but if he's too uncomfortable then I wouldn't stress too much about a short break over that time of year - maybe book a lovely holiday for when he's going to be 'back in action' instead?

I am with you BOA I seem to have a winter pregnancy thing going as well. Depends on how much pressure that would put on you both to conceive in the next two months before he does go in for the op - ouch!

Nix not necessarily good at whipping but good at something DH is a trooper and reasonably onboard if only to prove the worthiness of his swimmers!

Absolutely counts A&R

YRMOTB I would agree with ff's interpretation. FF drew a cross line for me this morning although my temps seemed to literally crawl rather pathetically above it. Your temps are def higher post ov than mine and you'll poss find that they go even higher now. Looking back on previous charts I think it sometimes takes a while for the temps to rise.

I also have a massive 'W' in the middle of my chart which seemed to coincide with drinking on Boxing Day/NYE so I think that this can have a huge effect on temps the following morning.

On a happy note, a friend of mine who has had 4 rounds of ivf including one mc got a bfp on Xmas eve and has just found out she's expecting twins this morning!

I had a complete miscarriage on 31st December, I should have been 7+6 weeks but only measured 5+2 when I was scanned hours before completing the miscarriage, it wasn't confirmed until yesterday but I 'just knew' from the first day of heavy bleeding (31st).

I dont want to seem insensitive, but the only thing keeping me from complete misery is the thought of trying again. It was my first pregnancy and and not planned but I miss that feeling already.

How long is it best to wait before trying again? I have found conflicting views all over the internet. We are both terrified this will happen again but i'd like to know when my body might be ready to try again.

Thanks

Thanks for replies- and yes ouch indeed! Our brief discussion was, "oh feb?" "Yes why?" "Well, you know... March?!" then he muttered something about he'll be ok for then and tbh if he does heal by 3 weeks it'll be find with my cycle. But dh is a pain wuss!

aandr maybe I could get whipping lessons?

Izzy @ shagging rows. I fear that newly coined phrase may be over used by me in the coming weeks.

orange Yes you are right, everything could still be OK, bleeding doesent always = problem. I bet it is really hard to believe that though, just keeping saying it over and over to yourself until you do. (perhaps we should invent some kind of knicker blinkers for the newly pregnant after mc so they cant see whats going on? )

cep I think taking a test is a good idea, the more info you have the better! If you get a negative you know that your body has moved out of pregnancy hormone phrase and should be starting back up normal cycles. For some people it takes longer than others to get a negative, testing positive a few weeks after mc can still be normal (and will help you know why AF hasnt arrived properly yet) I still had a positive 2 and half months after my mc - which is not normal, unfortunately I had to have an ERPC. Getting a negative will give you that extra bit of reassurance that everything is returning to normal.

The other really important reason for doing a test is that if you start SWI, you need to be able to know that a positive is definitely a new pregnancy and not residual mc hormones. You might think you are mcing again a second time if that happens!

Hopefully this spotting is your first AF just about to come, but if you continue to spot and not get it, its really worth testing to see if you are cycling normally yet or not.

francesca so sorry for your loss If you feel mentally ready I think you only need to have one AF before trying again but it may take up to 6 weeks or more to get your cycle back. Hope that helps

Mummya NOOOO!!! At "knicker blinkers"!!! I panic enough in the 2 mins is take me to get from desk to loos when I feel the need to check. I'd be certifiable if I wasn't able to know!!

Francesca Welcome to the thread and I'm very sorry for your loss. The ususal advice is wait for 1 AF and there are medical reasons for this (dating, making sure MC is truly complete as wells as emotionally getting over the MC) but lots of women start trying again as soon as the bleeding stops and they feel ready.

francesca I am so sorry you lost your little one, and what horrible timing! I hope you are getting lots of TLC in real life and resting up. I think it is very very common for women wanting to TTC immediately after to "replace" the baby. Do make sure you take some time to acknowledge your loss and grieve. Sometimes not dealing with your feelings now makes them come back to bite you later.

There is an excellent article here talking about the physical considerations. Basically if you wait for one AF, you know that the mc is over and there are no further complications, and also you will not have a nightmare in your next pregnancy when you go for an early scan and the dates look all "wrong" (if you cant wait that long, the loophole to these two problems is to start charting and using OPK's so that you know when you ovulated)

Some doctors will tell you to wait 6 months, but this is old advice that quite recently has been reversed. see here

wombat yeah you are right, I wouldnt use them either!!

Hi everyone can't believe how much there is to catch up on, very hard on my phone.

Right girls I need you to make a decision for me, should I test? Mc started on 27/11 haven't had af yet, dh is convinced I am pg. Ice had some af/implantation twinges so dh is off work tomorrow shall I do a test when I get up?

I think screw ask 'ask geeves' and google and wiki can def naff off, we got mummyA ... perhaps we could pimp out her pg knowledge

AR one in Cheltenham was no good dh going down to Zummerzet tom to check one out round the corner from the parentals! fingers crossed as i'd quite like to move back down there and be close to my folks!

Hi Francesca, sorry to hear of your loss. Agree to all above and in a nutshell... start when you are emotionally and physically ready (after you have stopped bleeding and received the only negative pg test you will ever celebrate).

nix somehow I just knew you'd lurvve the whipping talk, I have suspected for some time now you are a naughty little minx

Waves to Izzy Choccy Wombat Velvet and all I missed.

Right then, I am only 4dpo so not symptom spotting at all, ah hem! But just in the name of scientific research, how soon post ov did you display your first symptoms (of any of your pg's) and what were they?

Must dash!

backonceagain that's a toughie...how long will the recovery time be? If he's only going to be out of action a couple of weeks then I'd let him go ahead. If it's going to be longer, it's a bit more difficult...then again, if he puts it off until summer and you're still ttc then, would you put it off again? Maybe better to just get it out of the way, then he can swi pain-free!!

cep I would advise testing and making sure you get a bfn before you ttc in earnest, otherwise as mummya says you won't know if a future bfp is a new pg or leftover hormones from the mc. It's not nice though, and very surreal, testing and hoping for a bfn

Francesca so sorry to hear about your loss . The standard advice is to wait until after first af but the nurse after my erpc said this was just for dating purposes and to try when I felt ready after the bleeding stopped. I really empathise with that desperate need to be pg again; I felt exactly the same and didn't wait, but I have to say it was almost a relief when af arrived because I don't think i was really ready emotionally.