Feck off with your babydust - The hut of gl/doom, home of inadequate reproduction

[wewishyouamerrylissiemas]

ok, so the hut disappeared so I decided to open a new one. tis a 20's style gin joint!

lol bex

btw while I'm here anyway does anyone get annoyed at the clearblue digital test advert?
I shout at the smirkey clearblue woman banging on about the virtues of her fecking test! "Way before your scan".
Esp this month when we've been too ill to even try.
Stoopid smirkey woman, I need it to be a BFP before it'd come up as any number of weeks! GRRRRRRR. DH pointed out there's more ads at this time of year because women get pregnant round Christmas/New year. I'd NEVER realised that til I was TTC...

lol, it enrages me to. its the "why bother waiting?" shit that gets me, I'll tell you why I bother waiting - because Im fucking sick of you twunts taking my money, i go home, POAS and its a BFP. Yay! I start to hold my breath.

a few days go past. I think... maybe, just maybe this will work. perhaps my body is sorted now. maybe its my turn.

then one day I feel ill and start vomitting. I use cold flannels on my forehead to try to get my temp down. I take paracetomol as well as everything else. then my womb wrenches. and before I know it Im sobbing in the toilet.

so I dont test 7 days before my missed period because now Im too scared of getting a BFP.

sorry about the typos.

(((liss))) I hope your consultant gets his shit together for your next appointment. Or has his much cleverer registrar stand it for him.

thank you. I really dont know where we can go from here if not. we haved been refused IVF and he seems to think that heparin will do the trick. it wont. I bruise too easily, and my blood pressure is v low. its not my blood. its an immunology problem. all the signs are there. but what do I know eh?

im sick of people announcing their pregnancies as a shock. and those urban myths.. a friend, of a friend who was infertile til her 50's then had 2 lots of triplets in 2 years. I was walking round the castle today with my group of 5 boys and I thought to myself, this is what I wanted. I wanted a large family. I wanted to oversee squabbles and play knights and teach them. and Im beginning to realise that I wont. ds will continue to play with his imaginary friends and ask for a sibling every year. He will be a happy, well rounded little boy and will continue to tell me he loves me every day. but I feel like Ive let him down.

Of COURSE you haven't let him down liss. He has a family and it is what it is- a lovely and loving family. He has the best possible family.

Besides, it doesn't matter how many of you there are, there'll still be a rap sheet when he's 14, he's still hate you both and you'll still be dead embarrassing. I know a fair number of only children, both young and older, and they all seem very balanced and happy to me.

i know, its just really difficult to see that right now, every time I think Im getting over it and ive come to terms with being infertile, it hits me that this isnt a choice. I didnt want an only child. I love him so much and I wnat to give him the world.

I know, I know, chicken.

Been a while since I have darkened these doors, hola ladies!

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear what you are all going through, galway your story made me so

I've taken a bit of a u-turn with things I have to say. Dispite a very supportive partner and my Dr telling me he woude ok with us trying naturally for a while before we used our (funded) F.E.R.C, I've decided to go back on the pill and put the baby making on hold

The last two months cycles have been hell in between everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) assuring me that the most fertile time is after a MC so I should expect to be pregnant again straight away and the crazy symptom spotting (metallic taste, discharge, cravings, pregnancy boobs etc) I feel like I have lost my mind.
I was convinced I was pregnant this month, utterly convinced. I saw some pink when I wiped, 'ha! implanatation bleeding!' said I. It wasn't, it was my bloody period. I just don't feel I am mentally strong enough to TTC while the miscarriage is still heavy on my mind...

Sorry for the length of that, oops x

oh, witch im sorry

Oh ladies that's so rubbish for both of you. My DH is a bit confused about my passion for posting on here (only been on a couple of weeks) but I explained it has helped me keep things in perspective. I've not had an MC but surely any idiot knows you have to grieve for the baby you've lost? Why does everyone else assume they know about our bodies? When we'll conceive? When we're fertile? Grrrr .

Its been a long time since I've popped in here and I'm sorry to see some familiar faces :(

Lissie, what happened with your posh consultant ?

If I were you I'd ahem acquire some antibiotics from somewhere.

What would the treatment be if what you thing is up is up ?

{hugs} lissielou i am in exactly the same boat! My DS asks me daily for a brother or sister and i too feel like I'm letting him down. I never wanted a tribe of kids, but i did want 2. I do know how you feel

hey girls.

that's it isn't it? it's just not having what you wanted so badly and had planned your life around. dd also asks for a sibling every night, and it is heart wrenching. i don't want her to ever think she isn't enough, but it isn't only me that wants another baby, it is for her too. she is loved and well rounded and well balanced and perfectly happy and will probably get a HUGE shock if she ever does get a sibling! but i wanted and had dreamed about and had planned for 5 or 6 as well i worry that dd misses out and we have her friends over tea very regularly.
my hcg finally fell low enough to be discharged. i have had a normal(ish) period, i think i ovulated and now i am TERRIFIED i am pregnant again, i feel exactly the same as i did 1 week post conception last time; i have sore boobs and am feeling sick in a pregnancy sickness kind of a way and my period, if everything has indeed returned to normal, isn't due til next week....
it could of course just be the cyclical hormonal shift getting back to normal post mc. not sure what to think to be honest

Girls, I'm so sorry you have the added pressure of your DCs also asking for a baby brother or sister. It's so sweet that that's what they want too but then so heartbreaking when you're trying your hardest. lissie, bisous, broccoli, I feel for you guys, it sounds so hard. :(

I'm getting so frustrated and need to vent here. I'm looking back at the last year that we've been ttc and beginning to think that we have the same problem every month. My DH is feeling the pressure and is not able to perform on the vital days.

He's been to the doc and it's nothing physical, she says it's in his head. He was keen to know everything that's going on with me cycle-wise but I thought that was what was causing the problem so last month and this I've been keeping OPK results etc to myself.

However, still no joy.

He's firing on all cylinders when we've not been doing it for a week or so because of AF and raring to go. But it's like he over-does it and after a couple of nights (last night!!!!) when we're actually getting nearer the key days he just can't deliver the vital goods!!

Can you lovely ladies help?

Oh goodness mrsHende thats tough. I have no experience so advice from me isn't gonna be much use, but what i can say is that i don't tell DH when its the 'right time' as i know it would put pressure on him to perform.

We got into a similar position. I also find it impossible to have SWI every day/ every other day because he starts to complain that he's sore. (NO idea how to resolve that one).
We try to make "naked" time as often as possible or I too wander round in sexy undies. Try having time in bed (oops wrote "bad" initially) without assuming it will lead to SWI - just carve out time for the two of you to talk, have physical contact. What we've found is by doing that we're more likely to DTD but there's less pressure because we agree to do it frequently. I also find there's more lead in his pencil when he takes vitamin E regularly, not sure why!! but hey if it works (even if it's placebo effect) it's a cheap solution to the problem!

hello, can i join your hut of gloom? I'm sat here fighting back tears as its another month with a bfn. just waiting for af to start now. poor ds doesn't understand why i'm so upset and dp is at work so i can't talk to him.

Big hugs Ninja, you're very welcome. How long have you been TTC? Now I know it's only 11am but sod it .

Hugs Ninja. Its the same over here, feel for you hun! My AF arrived on Wed 2 days late (just to give me a bit of hope ) Bexamundo could i have one too? I'll get some nibbles!

Of course Bisous. I shall look for some fun recipes in my Hollywood Cocktails book....Snacks sound fab!

ooh a gin, lovely. cheers everyone!
this will be the 9th month it hasn't happened. i have a ds who is 3.4 and is desperate for a sibling. his two best friends both have 3 month old siblings and sil is about to pop one out in a few weeks. I'm feeling less sad than i was. showofhands has just writen me a few lovely posts and i've made myself a plan. maybe i should by some leather gloves and a cigar so i can say ' i love when a plan comes together' like hannibal in the A Team if it ever actually happens?

Think i'm going to take ds shopping as its my day off and we both deserve something new. will check back later, thanks for the welcome!

catching up in a second, Im pissed off.had to cancel consultant because ds is still ill. turns out though, he's not as ill as we thought.

fuck it.