Charter's Anonymous: Volume 4, hoping our bodies obey the rules!

[MrsArchchancellorRidcully]

Brand new shiny thread created (sorry Getdown, I am bored at work )

Hoping that all of us still waiting get the news we want and soon!!

At least it's almost New Year, new start

havent caught up properly yet.... Terrys hope you are doing ok ish xxx

I have had brown goo on and off for a day or two... EPU on tuesday :(

Oh nix I am sorry. Brown blood is supposed to be a lot better sign than red because it means it's old. Hoping you are ok, but I imagined you're terrified x

How are you all today?

I feel sick as a sick thing. Hopefully the cup of tea DH has just brought me will improve things.

Dishwasher arriving this morning!!
There is a big pile of washing up waiting to test it

Knackered after waking up every 1-2 hours with bonkers vivid dreams about finding Narnia and being ridiculously thirsty.

morning - nix I agree with split - brown goo is not necessarily a bad thing - my friend is 20 weeks and she has brown goo every day - and her baby is fine :)
terrys how are you today?

Can I ask the ladies who have had an erpc before - what your periods were like after? I have always been light but these are super light really. More like spotting?

We are off for a lovely long walk around one of the lakes - have a good day all xx

Morning all. Hope you had a lovely Christmas :)

terrys hope you are ok.

nix hope you are ok too.

split glad you feel sicky, nice little symptom :)

battery hope you are feeling ok today. Enjoy your walk around the lake.

I'm 8dpo today and my temp seems to have gone down.... chart what do you think?

Hi all

Had a -ve PG test this morning. DH and I have been very upset, he cried for the third time in the 8 years we have been together which surprised me as I didn't expect him to be so sad and that made it worse. Have an appointment at hospital tomorrow to redo HCG but I am going to try and cancel.

Hope everyone has a nice day, we are out for lunch with DS and his GP. Trying to keep a brave face.

Iwish hopefully an implantation dip!

battery are you in the Lake District? so are we at the moment, went to Keswick yesterday and it was really pretty.

spilt I hope you feel really really sick Very jealous!!

Nix brown is ok I think, I have had a tiny bit of brown but lots of red. I really hope the EPU confirms this for you. xxx

Hi terrys (((hugs))) for you and your DH. I hope you both get through this horrible time together xx

Hope it's imp dip :)

DPs dad has come to stay for a few days, not much to do round here compared to lovely north Wales be has come from.

Terrys I have been there and it's tragic :( you need time to grieve lovely, and to let your body recover from the trauma. Love to both you and dh, time does make it easier xx

I'm so, so sad to hear your news, Terrys. Be kind to yourself. As Nix says it takes a while to grieve and get your head round everything. The good news is you are supposed to be more fertile after a mc so hopefully you will get to where you want to be really soon.

Hugs xxx

Nix bloody hell - your little bean looks like a little trouble maker already. Hopefully brown is fine and you will be ok. Is it tomorrow you go to EPU?

Glad to hear you are feeling rubbish, Spilt - hopefully it is reassuring you.

Hope everyone else had lovely Christmas'es. we had a nice one catching up with family. DS played and played with his little cousin. They are very sweet together. His Mum is having a baby two months before me next year so there will be a house full! Nice they will always have someone to play with.

Ladyg tomorrow they are open so will call mw first thing! Terrys that neg test came quickly. Probably not what you want to hear right now, but it's good it's happened quickly, mine took 3 weeks I think once was confirmed. The sooner your body returns to normal, and when you are ready emotionally, your body will be ready and like lady says more fertile! I hope you are ok lovely xxxxx your dc will keep you occupied, I found with mine... If it hadn't been for him.....!

Spilt great news re sickness, other guys I will catch up properly tomorrow xx

Hi all,

Back from the parents now, so hurrah, I can type on a normal computer again and each post doesn't take me half an hour

Terrys I am so so sorry this has been a really sad time for you and your DH. I got a negative test really quickly too after I started bleeding, and the GP told me that it was probably because the embryo hadn't been "viable" from the start, and it takes a few weeks for the uterus to recognise that it isn't viable. Don't know if that helps at all, but it helped me a bit to know that it was nothing I did wrong and nothing I could have done differently. I was devastated too, but as the weeks go by the pain will get less and in a while you will be ready to try again, just give yourselves time. (hugs)

LadybeenKissingSantaClaus chart is looking good! Hope the 2ww goes quickly for you!

Sorry to hear about the brown stuff nix hope you are ok and hope it's nothing.

Iwish that's strange your temps have dropped below the coverline. But I read in TCOYF that individual temps don't have much significance, just so long as the general trend is a temp shift in the luteal phase. Could be you were just very chilly last night?

Hope you are enjoying your lovely sparkly dishwasher-clean dishes spilt!!!

Waves to LadyGG!!

So ladies, what do you think? GetDown's chart I really hope I've ov'd... I am so knackered. There is going to be no more SWI tonight that's for sure!!

Sorry just realised I missed battery's post. Sorry to see that AF got you. Boo

You had a long LP there.

Sorry I don't know what it's like after an ERPC, but I understand that periods can be quite different after a woman has had a MC. I think sometimes they can be lighter and sometimes heavier. Mine have def been heavier so far, but I don't know why or what it means to have lighter or heavier periods post-MC.

Hope it's nothing of concern. I'm sure it's fine, just the hormones settling down again.

MrsA looks like you could have an implantation dip today??? (hope so)

Just seen that Izzy's AF has arrived today - so sorry my dear hope you are ok.

That's some good chart stalking GetDown!

I would agree yours looks very much like the egg has finally made it's appearance, what a relief!

terrys I hope you are coping alright, it must be horrible still being so far away from home with this happening. I've been thinking about you a lot over the past couple of days. What GetDown says about getting such a soon negative test is interesting. I hope it helps you in some way? So sorry you are going through this, it's so cruel. Take your time to deal with it all, we're all here if it helps to talk but if you want some space then we understand xx

Izzy sorry to hear about AF getting you

Our dishwasher is in and working (finally!). We couldn't figure out why it was flashing error lights and getting stuck mid cycle and eventually sussed that the water in the dishwasher's internal drainage bits was frozen so it was blocking it. We suspect they must have tested it and then loaded it onto a lorry last night to sit in a freezing depot where the remnants of the test water then froze. Some boiling water and a couple of hours in the warm and bingo! Shiny plates

Glad you had a nice Christmas Lady, your DS sounds very sweet.

The less said about Christmas here, the better. It was a sad and hard day with tears. We went up to the cemetery to see the little one and cried for her and for the waste of it all. Prayed for you as well terrys going through all the heartache of loss on the one day that the whole bloody world walks round with massive grins and focuses on their families. And when someone is missing from yours that is hard. The baby girl buried next to Bobbie had a little Christmas flower arrangement and a card from her mummy and daddy that said "Happy 2nd Christmas to our darling girl" and a card from her siblings in lovely childish writing to say they loved her. I'm not really sure why I'm writing this all here, maybe just because I feel I can. I feel I can drop the mask a bit here. Real life is full of lots of brave faces and pretending, and sometimes I just want to say a bit of how I really feel too.

Love to all, look after yourselves xx

getdown wasn't particularly cold last night, same as usual I think. Clutching at straws hoping it's implantation as terrys suggested.
I hope you have OV'd, you can have a rest lol. We have had a looong rest

Oh split I hope you are ok. I bet it Is good for you to be able to come on here and tell us how you feel, we are always here for you xx

Hi

Terrys a -ve test is so hard to see normally, in these circumstances it's devastating. So sorry hon. I just thought maybe rather than cancelling the hospital appointment, perhaps you should go and get scanned instead to check it's complete.

Battery my first period after ERPC was quite light but they went back to normal after that. Is this your first period?

GetDown I reckon you've done it! Hatched an egg. Hoorah. Now I hope that the 2ww is filled with exciting symptoms. What are you going to do with New Years Eve celebrations? I've been trying to work out whether there's any point at all in testing but I think it's just going to be too early.

Spilt I think Christmas is a bitter-sweet time for many many people - inevitably a celebration that centres on family and loved ones is always going to be painful for those who have lost cherished members of their families. It's hard enough to live up to the manufactured expectations of constant joy, perfect happiness, family bliss even if you're not feeling the loss of someone. I think it's important to enjoy the good times but build some remembrance/acknowledgement of the sad as well into the traditions. Big squeezes for you.

spilt you are so so kind to think of me when you were visiting Bobbie. My loss feels incomparable to yours, I have had no pain and having a -ve test so quickly almost feels like it was never real at all, which is very sad. In some ways this PG never felt real so I wonder if my body knew something was up. Like getdown said I think it must not have been viable as there was no sac on the scan and my HCG was so low, in some ways that is comforting but in others I feel like a failure. In some ways I would rather have drowned it in alcohol or fallen down the stairs so I could pinpoint the blame, but this pitiful event which I can't even describe as more than a period feels so belittling, and yet overall it is a better way to happen. Sorry for writing all this jumbo and I hope I haven't offended anyone but it does really help to write this down without having to see pitying faces that everyone is giving me.
I am going to see my mum on Wednesday and I am already dreading the look on her face, I know its because she loves me but I don't want it because I would prefer to sweep it all under the carpet now, I don't handle this stuff very well and don't want to talk about it.

Sorry again for rambling and not name checking, feeling a bit down.

Apologies for being a stranger. Have only just got rid of all the relatives! [Fgrin]

You are all so eloquent with words. Whatever I write appears patronising and hollow somehow.
Terrys, spilt I am so sorry your xmas have been difficult and sad and feel free to post here and we can listen and help you share the burden.

I am on 9dpo and yes good stalking getdown! Obviously hoping for implantation dip but I've had those before.
Todays temp may be wrong as DP 'surprised' me with a cheeky quicky this morning as DD slept in!

We'll see anyway, got 4 days before I'm over my normal LP.

Sorry for not namechecking but hello to all Nix hope all goes ok for scan.

Off to get dressed. MIL is having DD for the day so DP and I can have a chill out. We are so lucky!

Thanks Ladybeenkissing re. the 2ww! I really hope I did ov. Today's temps are down again, but I had this last cycle too (2DPO a temp dip) I think they call this a "fallback rise" - anyone know if you can still get pg when you have a fallback rise??

Re. new years, we are going to a friend's house, but I think I will drive, so that will be my excuse!!

spilt sorry this is a difficult time re. remembering Bobbie. You will always remember her, it does seem such a waste and a sad loss of potential. She will always be your daughter. It's a comfort to know that she never had to experience all the sadness and nasty bits of life, but was "born into God's arms". I believe your pain will get less over time.

terrys I totally empathise re. feeling a failure - that's how I felt too. I felt so bad for DH, that I'd somehow "let him down" and wasn't able to keep hold of our precious bean. But I know that it wasn't really my fault, just a cruel fact of nature, that is the way nature deals with unviable pregnancies unfortunately. You will be ok my love. Keep posting about how you feel on here, no need to put up a front with us. Hope you will be ok with your mum and all the sympathetic looks - I hated that too.

MrsA - sorry for stalking you I just find it exciting watching charts in the 2ww!! Really hoping this is your month. Enjoy your lovely child free day with DP.

split Its good that you can write on her - don't ever think you can't xx

terrys glad you are feeling ok, no matter how far along you are when you lose a baby it's still devastating :(

ladybeen this is my 2nd period. I have always been light - but there is hardly anything on the pad - only dark goo when I wipe (sorry tmi) I have asked my friend who is a gynae nurse and she said it can take a few months for it to get back to normal. I have an appointment with gynae in feb so i can ask then if it is not betterx
good luck today nix

There are some on here with very good stalking skills!

Have a good day xxx

Thanks girls, I do appreciate all your kind words - MrsA I've never seen you write anything hollow or patronising, please don't put yourself down! Sometimes it just all gets to me and I need a vent.

Nix hoping you get good news today.

GetDown I'm sure a fallback rise is fine for conception, it's just one of the standard patterns like a slow rise isn't it?

terrys you're not a failure, it was nothing you did - could have been a weird sperm or anything, no reason to think you did anything wrong or that it will happen again. Hugs to you x

Fingers crossed for all our 2 week waiters.

mrs I'm on 9dpo with you too :). Fingers crossed it's imp dip for you. My temp went back up this morning after yesterday's dip. Hope you have a lovely day with your DP

getdown hope you are ok and that the little swimmers did their job :)

How are you today battery ok I hope :)

split hope you are feeling a bit better today, if that's possible. And hope you are feeling suitably sick too.

Hope you all have a lovely day xx

hola,, no news yet.!

Blardy MW! EPU was open yest afterall (despit being told it was shut!) but is shut today !! so after 2 hours of trying to get through, re-ringing mw unit i eventually track down their appointment diary! Have an apt for Thursday 9.15.....! More waiting!

Brown Goo has been gone for 2 days Hoorah and nausea was back last night, followed by sickness this morning after brushing teeth (if that counts?!) The MW did suggest it was old implantation blood which is fine, but of course is not that re-assuring as you just do not know! i am 8 weeks today...if it has stuck and there is anything in there.

FAB that temps went back up Iwish, battery sorry AF got you!? Are you BFN? could it be implantation goo?! Seems odd that its so light, but anything is poss after a MC :( my first period after mc was so bad/painful/heavy i couldnt hardly walk. Great if you can get some gynae advice. You know who the ashermans expert is dont you if you were worried about that?! Mummy Abroad... she has put together a support thread on the MC forum. She has done tons of research if you had any questions about it.
But, i am sure you wouldnt be bleeding at all if that were the case x

Spilt - so glad you got to see bobbie at christmas, and so sorry you felt so emotional. Takes timelovely. Terrys, hope you are okxxx

Mrs a, mrs p, Izz, getdown hpo[e you all had fab christmasses and enjoyed masses of food xxxxx

I have felt very green all morning thanks Iwish! Just considering hauling my sorry arse out of bed and into the shower now...

Thank the Lord it's not a work week!

Oh Nix what a pain! You must be so frustrated. Well hopefully if all is well at least you'll get a better pic on Thurs than you would have today - every day makes such a difference at this stage.

Do you have a date for your 12 week scan yet?