Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 9)

[DachshundAntlersRule]

Had an mc and need some wine, chocolate and somewhere to moan and cry? This is the place to be! We chat a LOT so it can be hard to keep up, but everyone on here is great and will hold your hand until you get your BFP.

((Hugs)) to you too Izzy. I'm already in the pit of self-pity. Will likely be joining you in the wine tomorrow when it's def all over for another month for me too.

((( wombat ))). Hugs to you and everyone on here that needs them - you all deserve so much better. Here's hoping you don't have to join me tomorrow x

oh Izzy and wombat this is so shit its unbelieveable. I had so convinced myself I was as I do every month. Im just so so sad, and yes feeling sorry for myself and you as well cos I know you know how I feel.

It seems wrong to be so depressive on such a positive thread. But I just keep thinking "what is wrong with me?" "Maybe I should stop ttc." "Maybe 2 children is what Im supposed to have" sigh I know people have it much worse than me. I am lucky to have 2 already etc. Then I feel selfish for wanting another.

DH doesnt understand, friends dont understand. I can't relax about something that is so important to me.

We do all feel like this every month. It is totally shit, even if we were just ttc with no history, the crushing disappointment of AF is all-encompassing. I feel both of your pain. Last month i spent AF getting ratarsed recuperated and ready to face ttc again, not really checking in here much and just chilling out as much as possible. But it is awful. And we all really understand how you feel, especially as we should have had our babies now. Chin up, get the wine out, and we're here with the tissues when you need us. Don't worry about burdening us. Hugs to both. xx

Omfg what have I missed........ ???????,

Owls!!!!!!!!! Yeah whoop de whoop whoop whoop fan fucking tastic!!!

Thanks baubles - in one way I hate the fact that we're all here because none of you should be here, but it's the being here together that keeps me going - even when you're down there's so much positivity and strength in here it starts to be contagious.

I am usually ok with cd1, not quite sure why I'm so irrationally upset by this one. In a way I think things might seem better after the due date, maybe there'll be less pressure or something, I don't know. Roll on the new year.

sunchild I also feel guilty and selfish for wanting another, and my dh doesn't get it either, he's not that desperate and would be fine about stopping at 2. And of course if we didn't have another I know I'm blessed with two and it would still be wonderful, but that still doesn't mean that we somehow don't deserve or shouldn't be able to have a third iykwim x

Owlshoes!! Fab news, many congratulations and here's to a sticky, sticky bean. Brilliant x x

Big hugs to Izzy, Sunchild, Wombat and YRMOTB* - and anyone else with the TTC blues. It is so unjust to have to start all over again instead of welcoming your wee ones to the world. I also had points of being totally demoralised during my 9 months TTC on this thread, I think what you are all feeling is totally natural. All I can say is keep faith and keep believing and trying. You'll get out of these rough patches and will get there in the end.

Nix no Christmas name for me - I'm a reindeer already though, surely that's Christmassy enough

Well done owl, congratulations! Nice to see another birdie around here too...

I think there's something in the air/weather today making people blue. I'm certainly having a pretty wobbly day. Sunchild and Izzy, you are not alone in having DH not understanding, mine is completely hopeless and has now started ignoring me when I cry, I don't know quite what I would do without you lovely ladies to vent to. Mine has been blowing hot and cold about TTC for the last 4 years, thinks that I should be happy with one, and to be honest, it was a fecking miracle I got upduffed again at all, cos it requires the planetary alignment of ovulation + DH on-side + neither of us working away, which happens about once every 89 years on average. I'm just so scared it's not going to happen again before all my eggies are stale and shrivelled. We really need to talk, but I've been trying the last 4 years, and just get subject changes when it gets uncomfortable for him.

Oh yes, nothing abnormal left behind to see on US scan, but still no negative preg test . Maybe that's why I'm wobbly today.

well put Baubles

snowy Izzy Wombat The biggest hugs for you all.

We all have lows and we all feel the need to run and hide and we all understand the emotional roller coaster. snowy take your time, but know we'll all be here for you, if and when you need us.

Waves to Caribou

And keep entering the competitions on here, I just won some boots! Guaranteed to make you feel a teensy bit better!

Oh girls :( :( :( it's hideous I can't really type much at the min as on the train, but I know and totally get your frustration:( it's the total lack of control you have, not knowing and complete frustration :( ((((((;hugs))))))))) to all xxxxxxx

sod that

You will get there and totally agree with the oracles ad vice about grieving, but equally you know what you want!

Just cos you already have been blessed with one or two children already does not mean you have lost your right to yearn for another, even more so after losing one! Keep strong ladies, it could just be round the corner :)

Emoo me and dh also like thatx not good!

Oh what competitions?????? Spill

Hi izz thanks for asking, yesterday was ok. It was a lovely, gentle service and we were able to lay our flowers in the garden.

I'm sorry you're feeling a bit shit at the mo, you too sunchild I know that feeling of despair very well and am sending lots of love your way.

I'm slowly starting to believe I might actually be pg. I've been really worried that it might be a molar pg coming back from last time so I phoned the ward where I was treated. Have spoken to the ward sister who was fab and explained that it really can't be that. She's reassured me that it is most likely a new pg. I do feel a bit sick but have no other symptoms so I'm just waiting for the blood. I think the earliest a scan would be useful will be xmas week so there's a while to go yet.

Still haven't told DH. My amazon delivery still isn't here either!

Sorry, this has turned into a mammoth post but you're the only people who know!

I forgot to check in to say RTD came and I didn't ovulate. For anyone who's interested an appointment with a consultant in London costs £220.

THURSDAY'S LIST

Inbetweener TTC#3 Cycle 3 UCL 29 CD35 BFP!!
Tunnocksteacake TTC #2, cycle 1, UCL28 CD41
PrettyQuichey TTC#1,(round 7)Cycle 6 UCL 28-30 CD 40
Getawiggleon TTC#2, cycle 1, UCL26, CD40
Loola2shu TTC#2, Cycle 2, UCL40 CD40
Nickstermum TTC#2 cycle 2 post MC UCL 30-40 BFP!!!
GetDownYouWillFall TTC#2 Cycle 1 (post MC#1) UCL 27 - 44 CD35
Tigger15 TTC#2 cycle 21 UCL24-9 CD8
Kat2504 TTC#1, cycle 3 UCL 26-28 CD31
RunForTheHills TTC#1, cycle 2 UCL28 CD31
Wombat33 TTC#1 Cycle 2 (post MC) UCL 31 CD29
Sunchild77 TTC#3 cycle 6, UCL 24-28, CD22
youremindmeofthebabe TTC#2, Cycle 4 UCL33 CD20
LadyBee TTC#2, cycle 4 (round 3) UCL27 CD20
HongKongBaby#2, cycle 4 (post mc1), UCL 38, CD18
KnitterNotTwitter TTC#2, (round 3) cycle 4 UCL 25-30 CD17
Freezingmyarseoff TTC#2 cycle 6 UCL28 CD16
Orangetoenails TTC#1, cycle 1 (MC#2), UCL 35, CD16
Velvetcu TTC #1 Cycle 3 UCL 35, CD16
Pinkfondantfancy TTC#1, cycle 4, UCL 28 or 35 CD14
AandRmum TTC3 cycle 2 UCL29 CD15
HidingInTheBackRow TTC1, cycle 1, UCL 26, CD11
MamaPower TTC#1, cycle 4 (post MC#2) UCL 25- 27 CD9
Choccybick TTC#1 (post mc1) cycle 5 UCL 27 CD6
DachshundsRule TTC#1 cycle 4 UCL28 CD4
IzzyWizzyletsgetbusy TTC#3 cycle 5 UCL26-30 CD1

WTTC
Hairytriangle
Sarahmia TTC#2, MC2
MummyAbroad TTC #2,(MMC#1 31 Mar, ERPC 7 Jul), Ashermans Op 16 Nov
Mousebacon TTC#2 MC#1 4th Oct WTF cycle BFP!!!
Barrenbrook TTC#1, MC#4 Oct 2010
Lemonsherbet TTC #1, ERPC 15 Oct 2010, WTF cycle
Batteryhen MC conf Oct 2010
Digitalgirl TTC#2, MC#3 Oct 2010
Nurse47 TTC#2, UCL28, WTF cycle ERPC 9 Nov
Emoo TTC#2, MC#1 18 Nov 2010, WTF cycle

MIA
Jamface TTC#2 post MC#2), UCL 27
Shitforbrains
Sillyness TTC#1 post MC1 WTF cycle
Lottiecrump UCL 27/30
Cheepz TTC#2 (round 4) UCL30
BackOnceAgain TTC#3, MC 17th Aug

RECENT GRADUATES
BUnderthebonnet BFP 20 June
Muser BFP 22 June
northerngoldilocks - BFP 12 July
Magic8ballhastheanswers BFP 14 July
Hopefully BFP 22 July
IvySedai BFP 1 August
PenguinsMummy BFP 15th August
VivClicquot BFP 25 August
Loopymumsy BFP 29 August
CaribouMoo BFP 7 September
StarflowerGirl BFP ~24 Sep
Appleblossoms BFP 9 Oc
Littlemiss72
Urbanlolly BFP 1 Nov

Oh izzy I'm so sorry to see you down at day 1 again, that must have been very disappointing after such a positive start to the chart. But you are very good at seeing the silver lining, and well done for having a lovely bottle ready.

You too sunchild - that was early. Bollocks bollocks bollocks. Do come back when you feel up to it. Here let me gather you into a big hug. I'm good at them. I'll even rub your back in little circles.

hairyfairylights good going on the acupuncture. I'm keeping that one for a few months, have used it for other things and it does feel like pulling out the big guns. Hope it works for you chick.

dAncer&Rudolf getting some coping strategies in place is a good idea. I think I'll call my friend on the weekend (she'll have tested by then) and see whether we can come up with some ideas. Payment in chocolate or something.

DiffedOwl! Well knock me down with a feather! Congratulations m'dear and well done. V pleased the epic shagging has paid off

wombat what are the aches like? Do they happen at any particular time or just all the way through? Sorry you're feeling UCK though.

emoo your description of the once in every 89 years planetary alignment made me smile, even though I'm sure it's not very funny for you. Sorry that your DH doesn't respond the way you'd like to your upset. Mine tends to go into stock phrases, 'I'm sorry you're feeling so upset', which is nice, but really what I want is for him to feel upset too, otherwise it feels so goddamn lonely going through all the stress and disappointment by myself.

baubles I have never won anything. I enter lots and never win . It's very disappointing. But I'm pleased for you on the boots. No, really

mouse glad the service wasn't too distressing. When do you think you'll tell DH?

tigger hello you. So what was the consultant appointment like? Inquiring minds demand to know. Was there anything positive or just lots of questions?

nix NO!! Not hot chocolate! You know what a clutz I am with that!! . Actually I'm on the train with one right now and so far have managed not to throw it over self, suit or fellow passengers!

Hi ladies hope you are all managing in the snow.

Need some advice, should I go to the works Xmas dinner on sat night? I started bleeding on Sunday thought it was AF but clear on mon it wasn't it was a mc. It's my first one, hence a my questions, bleeding has slowed down but what if it starts up bad again? It's my dad funeral on Tuesday so people know about my dad but not the mc, WWYD?

Also I've not had any rest since have got myblood test shortly, and a function with my mum tomorrow in the morning followed by familylunch.

Thank you all for your kind words of wisdom, and hugs and sympathy. Yous are lovely :) and Im not going to pick out individual names, but all of you...

Still a bit down today, but will get there slowly sigh.. Hope you lasses are a bit brighter. DH is "working from home" today cos the trains are up the spout. Its -13 here!!!!!!!

Can someone help me with a plan to increase Luteal Phase? B Vits and Agnus Castus mentioned by some, but I need to exactly know what to take and when. Anyone got any advice?

Should I go to my GP? my named one is lovely, but its almost impossible to get an appt with her. Dunno if she would take me seriously though.

I promise to try and post a bit more

sunchild how long is your luteal phase? Until this month mine was a rubbish 7-8 days . This month it was 13 days - massive improvement. Also my day of ov went from 20-23 down to 15/16. So the good news is it can be improved.

In terms of what I've done differently, I was taking a general b complex from boots and also 50mg b6 per day; this didn't seem to be helping so this month I went up to 100mg b6. I haven't tried agnus castus because I keep hearing contradictory reports about whether it's good while ttc/pg.

However the main thing I put it down to is acupuncture - I have been seeing a fab lady who specialises in fertility/conception with the specific aim of improving the luteal phase and getting me in the best position to conceive. I have seen her I think 3 times so far and as you can see although there's no bfp my cycle is much better.

It might be worth trying the gp; be warned though they're not all sympathetic. Mine was very dismissive, said they couldn't even do basic tests without referral to fertility clinic, which they wouldn't do for 12-18 months given that I already have two children and have been pg recently (ie the mc). As we've set a deadline of giving up ttc completely a year after the mc (next summer - seems to be coming round fast now) that was no use to us, so I started looking for alternative therapies that might help and found the acupuncture. I honestly can't recommend it enough, but I think you need to get a good one with a specialism in this area.

Hope that helps a little - I know how frustrating it is when your cycle just won't cooperate, it's like your body's fighting against you! Hopefully your gp will ve more helpful than mine but if not maybe some of my experience will help x

sunchild if you click here it should show you my graphs, if you scroll down you'll see how different the last cycle was from the two that went before.

Have you tried temping to check that you're pinpointing ov accurately and therefore your lp definitely is a problem? Or are you doing opks?

daddysgirl I think it depends on how you feel tbh. Sometimes going out seemed such a major hassle post-mc and I just couldn't face it, but at other tines it really helped to just get a change of scene. Everyone knew about mine though (was 16 weeks so had gone public) which in a way made it easier x

Izzy thanks :) I think my luteal phase is about 10 days, which sounds better than yours, but its ths short cycles that really worry me. Ive always been on the 26-28 range, and since the m/c they've all been so short. I'm taking a fancy pregnancy vitamin complex (an expensive one from a independant health food shop) that I started after the m/c, I got the pregnancy one because the shop asst convinced me that Id be pregnant again soon! Maybe I should change to the ttc one.

I don't want to go to the dr or be referred for fertility, cos like you I have 2 kids, and the whole "medicalised" thing. We had set ourselves the deadline of DD's 5th birthday to be pregnant by. Of course that was about a fortnight ago.

DH said last night that he was disappointed too, and that made me feel so much better, as he is usually so quiet. He kept saying it was ok to feel so disappointed. I think he's realised that I need him to show some emotion too. But I can't help being so teary.

Sorry for being so "me me me"..

Sorry Izzy cross post. Ive not been temping as get up in the night to wee! I have a bbt so maybe I should try it properly. I just have been going on ewcm for ovulating. But yeah I think I need to try temping more seriously.

Off to look at your charts! - Thanks really appreciate your help :)

Snowy it has made me smile to see you here this morning. I also have a short LP, 8 days! My GP did not take me seriously at all, in fact I was made to feel like a time waster! However, I did manage to see a locum one day and she kindly referred me for bloods, 7DPO, this revealed that my (now I always get muddled here but whichever it is you need to increase following ov to retain - oestrogen/progesterone), had indeed reached a really good level. The GP that gave me my blood results was quite nasty as if I was just fussing over nothing, however, she did reassure me that it is not necessarily the length of the LP that is important in retaining but the rise in... oestrogen/progesterone! I did check this with a friend who is a GP and she did agree with this advice. Although I have to say, when we move I shall be looking to register with a GP who has Gynae as a specialist interest.

Hi izzy hope you are feeling ok this morning x

Daddysgirl I totally agree with Izzy - go only if you feel like it. People know about your dad, so without even having to say anything about the MC they will cut you some slack if you decide not to go, pull out at the last minute or decide halfway through you're not feeling up to it and need to go home. I'm sorry about your Dad and that you're having a terrible time at the moment. I hope things go as well as possible on Tuesday.

Snowy I'm afraid I don't know much about lengthening your LP, but Izzy and MamaC give good advice! Morning and hugs to both of you.

Hi Ladyb, how are you? Our DPs sound quite similar in their response to it. Mine has only really shown any sadness for himself (as opposed to concern about me) in the last few days when we were at the hospital for the birth of my friend's baby. The pains are a mixture of general aches but v much in the womb/bladder region and the crampy type pains I got just before and during the MC. I can't seem to pinpoint exactly when they happen, though I do know they've been uncomfy the last couple of days and each day after SWI

Baubles congrats on the boots!! I've never noticed comps on here. where are they??

Tigger good luck with the appointment (or have you allready had it?).

Turkey glad the scan was 'clear' that's promising news. 'Hopefully' you'll get your bfn soon and then you'll be ready to make a fresh start. It's so hard when it's dragging on.

Waves to Caribou, MummyB, A&R and Velvet.

Anyone heard from Inbetweener? *If you're out there, I hope you are bearing up okay xxx