Hehehehe thanks for the fishy slaps - I think I deserved them!!!! 
You are all so lovely 
this is the sort of sense that poor old DH spends all day, every day, trying to talk into me so he'll be very relieved there are some other people taking up the strain!! I have stepped away from Google -if the clinic says they're fine, they must be fine, right??? I can't believe I'm such a weirdo - if I wasn't worrying, I'd be worried about why I wasn't worrying about something..... I'll let you know how much the other tests and scans cost (I have a sneaking suspicion that more cash will need to be parted with, but hey, I've started now......)
mamac you can't seriously tell me you needed an app to know the lyrics - you know them all already, you know you did
dachs I'll be thinking of you on Christmas Eve, work buddy! I should be able to get out early with any luck so I can't really complain, plus I'm only there because I frittered away all my holiday earlier this year!!!
baubles sign me up for club detox, I've really let myself go these last couple of weeks as I keep thinking "well, Christmas is round the corner and it's not like I'm going to diet over Christmas so what's the point now...." 
Ps. I have no idea what the tests tell me either but I'm just keeping everything crossed they'll tell me it's all ok and I should stop being a weirdo and chill out. Fx. Also, from talking to colleagues, apparently if they do find something wrong, most stuff can be fixed one way or another so either way, hopefully it will be ok. Hope you get the iphone figured out! Have a lovely time with ILs!
nix I have to agree I felt a bit weird about being tested for HIV - not nice.
orange definitely don't feel silly, think we've all been there. Before I started with the shag dictator, temping and all the other mentalling, I assumed that I ov'ed on day 14, cos that's what all women do, right?? 
So when AF didn't rock up on day 28, 29, 30........35, 36 etc. I spent about £1,000,000,000 on pee sticks until I discovered a few cycles later that my cycles had moved out to 35ish days post MC.... At least you had the help of the pee sticks to guess when you ovulated instead of just assuming like me. kat's EWCM advice is great, and that's also what TCOYF says- the book puts more emphasis on that than anything (oh and by the way, the book thinks that OPKs are rubbish and shouldn't be used, don't know why she thinks that though.)
mousey really sorry you're having such a worrying time. I really hope scan gives you good news. Sometimes when I'm feeling strong I lurk around the miscarriage threads to see if I can help anyone, and the main thing I've learned is that sometimes, like nickers says, there can be lots of blood and clots and it still work out fine so please try not to assume the worst just yet. If if the worst happens, I would definitely go to your GP, cry and make a big fuss (sorry to be cynical but nothing much ever gets done unless they worry about your state of mind, it seems to me) and tell them that you want to be swabbed for infections and that you want blood tests for Rubella, thyroid function etc.etc.etc. I did this and GP was more than happy to oblige (probably mainly to get me out of their office, but hey) and then you can get piece of mind either way. Let us know how you get on tomorrow honey xx
Night all - any of you that are on bookface may have noticed from my excessive ranting that my commute is a bit trying at the moment so need to get some sleep to get my strength up to do battle again tomorrow!! Thanks again for all your help, you ladies are all LOVELY mwah mwah