Just MC and ready to try again? Pack your cake wine and tightie whities and join us for more ranting weeping and most of all laughing! All welcome! (Part 9)

[DachshundAntlersRule]

Had an mc and need some wine, chocolate and somewhere to moan and cry? This is the place to be! We chat a LOT so it can be hard to keep up, but everyone on here is great and will hold your hand until you get your BFP.

Morning everyone - or just about

So, ClearBlue Digital says not pregnant :( and no AF. CD12 and 13 (am) I got OPK+ and I'm now on CD36 and not temping. Last time I got a positive when I was 12 days late but I don't want false hope. All suggestions or ideas will be gratefully received [trying to smile]

I want to cry but I feel too defeated :(

Sorry for selfish post, I'll come back later and be more sociable

Good morning Orange. I'm sorry about your result, bless you, I really feel for you.

What are your instincts telling you? Do you still have the sore boobs/lots of CM? How regular are you? Would it be really strange for you for a cycle to be this long?

Oh I really hope it works out with good news for you. What are you thinking you'll do next? What a nightmare of uncertainty just before Christmas for you.

Sending you a big hug from Hong Kong until everyone else wakes up.

Look after yourself today.

Thanks HKBaby Dh just given me loads of hugs so feel better

There are times when I actually feel pregnant, but try to dismiss it. Not really sore boobs but didn't last time, but have loads of CM. I actually thought AF was coming as had bad pains CD 27+28, and have occasional mild cramps since, with a weird pulling feeling. My pre-MC cycle length was 35 which is why I feel silly, but the OPK said I'd OV earlier this month so have gone by that. I lost 3 pounds tho despite all the crap I've eaten

Off to work, last day - Woohoo! Hope everyone has an awesome day

Hey orange so so sorry for the stupid digital telling you the wrong answer.... It's always so bloody smug as well, don't you think?? If no AF it's still possible though and I think weird pulling feeling is a good thing. I reckon maybe carry on with Christmas as normal and try to forget about it as much as you can (yeah, right.....) and test again in a few days' time? Try not to get down tho hun, like you said, last time it took a long time to show up. So so hope for good news. Enjoy your last day - I'm working all the way to chrimbo eve! RUBBISH!

aandr what did you decide to do? Did you test again? Gaaaaaah between the three of us, one of us must get a convincing BFP, surely?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ps izz your lanterns sound beautiful, almost made me cry so I have no idea how you held it together. Such a nice thing to do xx

Have a good day everyone, keep everything crossed for me that the trains are actually doing their thing both going to and BACK FROM work!!!

Hi ladies, sorry for thread hog, just need to rant. I feel so angry and let down by my body. I've worked really hard these last 6 months to relax and trust that my body knows what to do. Now I feel like I have absolutely nothing to base this random blind faith on, seeing as I've been pregnant twice in 7 months and neither of them have worked out, so my body clearly has absolutely not the first clue what to do with a fertilised egg. I wish this bloody stupid chem preg had happened a couple of days earlier, then I wouldn't have ever known as my period wouldn't have been late, and I could have carried along happily in blind optimism for a bit longer. Where the hell am I supposed to summon up any zen from now?? So many thing have to come right to even get a chem preg, let alone a convincing line and I can't even imagine getting to a 12 week scan stage, let alone full term. Sorry for misery, I know it's probably not very helpful here where everyone is trying to cling onto their zen as hard as they can, but if anyone has any advice on how I get some optimism back I'd be grateful....

big ((((hugs)))) to orange and pink

orange I'm sorry about the bfn and keeping my fx it's just too early for you...until af arrives there's still hope. Have you tried one of the more sensitive tests eg FR? Might be worth trying in a couple of days if you can bear the wait x

pink . It is crap, I know. Sometimes I want to kick my body which doesn't seem to realise that well-timed shagging ought at some point to end in a fertilised egg - ds and dd took 9 months to conceive (fair enough) but it took 3 years of "not being careful" to get pg last time - why?!! There is nothing more annoying or frustrating than your own body not playing ball. I think the really hard part is the lack of control - you can do everything "right" and things still might not work out.

The chem pg must have been devastating for you, and probably reignited your feelings of loss about your other mc . I don't really have any words of wisdom other than to keep hoping and feel free to rant here as much as you like - we're all here for you. At least you're taking some positive steps in getting the tests done, so try to focus on that xx

Oh pink that is very crap. I haven't been here much in the last few days and hadn't realized you had a chem preg. You are right, it takes so much to come together just to conceive at all. Twice in one year is awful really. Have no sensible advice except to look after yourself and rant if you want, it can only be good for you.

Mummyb have a FAB holiday!!! I'm very of warm weather and pool! Merry Christmas to you too xxx

Izz the sky lanterns sound totally beautiful. What a lovely idea. Hugs xxx

Orange big squeezes for you my lovely. I really feel for you - so frustrating! I'm still keeping everything crossed that there's a BFP waiting for you at the end of this. Well done on the weight loss too! Last day at work - whoo hoo! Mine's tomorrow - yey!

Hello to HKbaby for when you wake up!

Pink will they at least let you leave a bit early on Christmas Eve? Do you have far to travel or are you staying at home this Christmas? I'm sending you huge waves of optimism for the next cycle :) Totally know what you mean though on losing faith in your body. After all our SWI effort this month it looks like it may have been for nothing - temps STILL didn't go up convincingly this morning (and TMI allert, but I think I still have some EWCM - only if I go looking for it mind you, and given I don't normally do that, I have no idea if it's normal for me or not - arggggggghhhhhhh b£$%y F!%#* body!)

Hello to Kat and also looks around for A&R are you out there?!?

Also Dachs if you're around, I don't know when you and DH are due to head off on your quiet Christmas break, but I hope you have a lovely, stress-free and relaxing time xxx

thanks wombat We're heading off on Friday.

I'm also working all the way up to Xmas Eve so I understand how Pink feels!

Pink I know how you feel. Having mc in June, I am sure I had a cp in September this year - but something felt wrong about it and because of that I didn't dare test so I'll never know for sure. Then lovely AF rocked up a day early and super-heavy so that was the end of that. It is shit, there's no two ways about it. I made up for it by booking a last-minute holiday to spend some nice time with DH and drinking my own bodyweight in wine before getting back to TTC proper. I think that's all you can do, really. Hope you are feeling less crappy soon - it will happen; honest.

Pink I have also had a CP this year after my mc. I don't even think about it, I won't let myself... I didn't work out any due date and I don't even talk about it, you will torment yourself... trust me sweets, this isn't your body screwing up, sadly, there was something very wrong with that little bean and your body, in this instance, did the right thing, it's waiting for the perfect bean to arrive and then it'll get it's shit together and do what it's supposed to do! Stop beating yourself up chick! Lots of hugs hon, we'll get there xx

izzy I also have lanterns ready to send up on Jan 17th...I am going to say a special little prayer for my 'Tiny' on that day! I hope you found comfort in doing that special thing xx

Waves to everyone else

ps orange still keeping my fingers crossed for you, it ain't over until the ole bitch arrives.

also, as it's Christmas, thought you might all enjoy this, made me

orange thats rubbish, so sorry! i thought it was def your month :(. Going to say something a bit contraversial. Are you certain you OV on those days? Sometimes it spossible to think you are oving or have ov'd but it actually be delayed... or happened a few days after your +ve sticks. certainly happened to me. Could this have had a knock on delaying your cycle? The only way i could truly identify the exact day of OV was temping. Its really rubbish you had a bfn...gutted for you... x

pink try not to get too despondant. You are being really proactive getting tested which will at least give you some answers or rule certain things out. Try not to get too down with it lovely, although i know thats easier said than done :( Hope your DH buys you a very expensive piece of jewellery or something equally as nice for christmas to cheer you up xx

izzy glad you marked the occasion wiht something as fab as lanterns in the snow x i hope it brought you some peace xx

I am ok. Still struggling with lurgy. can you believe my deputy md emailed me last night and asked me to work today?! 11th hour with a new customer before christmas - witch!
No further CM, some cramping/aching but just have to sit tight, dont want a scan before christmas day in case its bad news tbh would rather wait until after! Lets face it after 3 days of high fevers, 3 days of paracetamol, and pennicillin it would have to be a very strong bean to cling on!!

Feeling too ill to be christmassy, DH has done the food shop, just need to get the house cleaned now! am not allowed to hoover so thats not down to me!! Well, maybe the bathrooms... when i have the energy i suppose!!

Hi all. I am going to have to join Pink with a chemical preg. I poas yesterday and after a lot of thinking it gave me a bfp but by lunchtime I started to bleed heavily. I am in bed and dh has taken the girls to work. I feel incredibly rubbish - I'm not sure if it is related or not

Fx Nix beans can be very tough and survive all sorts of things thrown at them.

izzy hope you are feeling ok. A big day to get through.

Orange if you usual cycle length is 35 days then it may just be a matter of waiting. Always frustrating

((( aandrmum ))) . I hope you're ok sweetie and that you get a miracle bfp later this week. I'm so sorry that you're going through it too. Rest up and look after yourself xxx

Oh A&R that's pants! I'm also going to keep everything corssed along with Izzy that you go on and get a miracle bfp. You and Orange.

Nix look after yourself lovely and get DH to do the bathrooms too!!

Oh FFS AR thats just so shitty !! Both of you within days of each other :( I really really thought it was good to go for both you and pink, and i am really so sorry :(
good on your DH for taking the girls out!
girls you are both so lovely, i really really wished that this hadnt happened, especially so close to christmas :(

Well..... the goodnews from cheznickers is that after a 3 day absence finally i got some nausea back thank FUCK for that! Terrified has not been the word. Finally feeling a little more human from the lurgy and actually eaten something today wombo i think that might be pushing it a little bit! AR i hope that beans are tough, have not enjoyed popping pills, totally against my nature (never took 1 paracetamol in 9 months with DS) but i have had to take the pennicillin as i have a strep A infection internally (funnily enough, it was a staph, then BV, and now a strep...obviously got a choosy/stripy fanjo!) which can cause premature labour and i suspect MC so needed to be done.

((hugs)) to all who need them, and safe travelling, the roads are not great xx

Nix you took the words right out of my mouth...FFS!!!! AR that's just crap, I really thought...! Big hug for you.

Waves to Wombat Pink Orange Izzy Owl Kat and Dachs... is everyone else stuck in winter chaos?? it's so quiet around these parts!

PS Nix glad the sickness is back... very good sign indeed, may you continue to enjoy much nausea

Pink I am so sorry what an awful thing especially before Christmas. My 1st MC was so early I try not even count it, and good advice not to look at due dates, etc as it's just another terrible milestone
Izzy the lanterns sound great, I hope it has helped
Nix you're doing the right thing resting, and to he'll with the md that wants you in work, your bean is more important

((( AandR ))) so sorry to hear that, I hope you are getting some pampering and taking it easy. I really hope it is just a false alarm and you get a BFP

Thanks to everyone for your kind support and as ever the best advice. I have no evidence I OV on CD14 like the tests indicated (and feel silly for using without temping) OV could have been delayed for a week, leading me to my pre-MC 35 day cycle - is that possible? I had those bad pains CD 27/28 but no explanation (optimistically implantation, pessimistically just still WTF),. I'm going to wait a few days and see what happens, either way I'll definitely be late then! and no OPK next month my nerves can't stand it!

Hello all you lovely ladies. Thanks for all so much for your messages of support, I'm doing ok and just hoping like hell that like mamac says, it's my my body being 100% efficient rather than 100% useless crap.

aandr FFS that is a complete bag of arse. I am so sorry honey, To get a proper positive first is just cruel :( HUGE hugs for you, 2011 will be all of our years, it has to be.

nix hurray for nausea :) tbh if your bean is anything like you, it'll cling on through hell and high water!!! Everything crossed matey (for now at least, especially while I'm enduring this exceptionally gory AF - WTF is all this stuff that keeps coming out?? Grim.) anyway I got sidetracked-hope you're feeling nicely sicky enough to be able to relax a bit through chrimbo.

So, blood tests for anyone that's interested: they took bloods today for hormone screening, coagulation screening, chromosomal kerrotyping (whatever that means) and urine for ureaplasma. Cost £500 including tests for HIV, hep b and c which they insist on doing. FYI hormone alone was only £70, it's the chromosomal that bumped it up but thought since this is the weirdest chrimbo prezzie I've bought myself to date, might as well push the boat out..... Got results of hormane back this avo ( amazing the service you get when you pay, eh??) and theyre all fine so hurdle no. 1 passed and next step is mid cycle scan on new years eve, whoop. One of the weirdest new years too then!! Think they'll take more bloods then too. Fingers crossed will all come back ok and then I can start working on the blind optimism 'random shit luck' theory again.... Wondered why I felt so battered after 1glass wine tonight until I remembered how many vials of blood they took... Hehehe cheap date!

orange dont you dare feel silly!! My first cycle post MC i ranted away as i had EGnogCM for a whole week and still no pos OV stick, after i calmed down i did eventually get the pos on cd23/24 but what mummy oracle said to me, i was probably delaying the ov with stressing about it... the next month i consciously calmed down about it, hey presto ov'd when i thought/+ve opks & temp rise 2 days later. Perhaps the more you are thinking about it, maybe delaying it? I was on 40 day cycle too...! Not pleasant.

So what i am trying to say by sharing my experience with you is that firstly post MC anything is possible (sadly), secondly,even though you got a +ve you may very well have ov'd a couple or a few days later (its always a possibility!) or thirdly you are in fact pg and its just taking a few days to show!! One of the reasons my second pg took longer to conceive was cos my cycle length had changed and i was shagging in the wrong window!! DOH"!

Mummy taught me that the luteal phase is fixed and that its the Ov date that is variable, can be delyaed etc so your OV should (in reality) always be 14-15 days before your AF date (whereas before i knew that i would have argued blue murder that wasnt the case

I hope you get some clarity soon. What CD are you now? I forget are you still in the WTF cycle or 1 cycle post MC? Anything is poss in the wtf but if you are past that then IF you arent pg (and i sincerely hope you are!!) then AF will be along soon, i am sure! xxx