TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

[nurse47]

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

kitkey I know what you mean re cost of CBFM but on amazon they're less expensive than in boots, less than £60 and I figured I was spending 20 odd quid a month on CB digital tests anyway so I managed to justify it to myself Mind you I guess with the cost of the sticks too it does all add up... I just found a thread on here for people using it though and I feel slightly less optimistic than when I read the amazing amazon reviews. I know I said that I knew it wouldn't be a magic wand to pregnancy but I guess I was kind of hoping it was, yet it seems like loads of people on here have been using it for ages . Anyway, apologies for going on and on - I'm not helping your desire for a distraction am I - you can see I'm just as obsessed!!

Sorry about your dates brought - I've just gone past the would have been 12 weeks in the last couple of days, it royally sucks doesn't it. I guess I'm waiting for my period too. You know what, I'd kind of forgotten to expect it after being without it for a few months. I think it'll still be a shock for it to arrive though. After the ordeal of my 'natural' mc I've seen enough of that type of stuff to last me a lifetime I think! I'm going to try to be positive and see it as my body working properly though. Might be easier said than done but I guess this month at least I know 100% that I'm not pregnant so it won't come with feelings of disappointment.

hi ladies, just thought id pop in and say hi, been abit distracted the last week with work, so not been on mn for neally a week now....
Tough week last week, pg people everywhere i look, and yesterday i found out via a stupid pampers email that i would of been 6 months pg now!!! Which was really tough, but on the other hand i feel ive come a long way in neally three months, dates, times and my memory is fading...(a little)
this is going to be my first month of ttc am a little apprehensive as i know thungs like this can become an obsession for me, temping, ov sticks are all at the ready!!

My question to you ladies is, ive been temping since my last period and as of yest havent used my ov sticks, do i start using them when ff predicts my fertile window is??
And as for my temps, there all over the place no real pattern... Ekkkkkk help!!!

Hi all - hope those of you with snow haven't been hit with cabin fever yet and if you have you're making the most of it, all tucked up in bed !

Sorry to hear that there have been some ups and downs this last week - these wretched dates are a real pain sometimes. While v hard at times, I guess it's good to work through it and feel as if there is some healing going on. Thinking of you all.

Like yellowtomato I've had EWCM for about 5 days too which is most unusual for me. We DTD for the first time on Thurs and it was fine (very nice in fact!) We're not actually taking precautions though - is anyone else...? While I said that I wanted to wait until after first AF to begin ttc, clearly I'm not! . I am enjoying the benefits of not being PG but feel like I want to get PG asap.....

Hi Ladies!! Sorry haven't been on mumsnet much - hard to believe but I have been really busy at work (end of term, kids going to school etc TONS of paperwork!) and then was spending a lot of time in the gym - I am so angry at all the weight I put on in my short lived pregnancy - I mean how unfair is this - the fat I keep but no baby? (sorry for bad humor hope am not offending anyone!) and then was just collapsing in bed - exhausted.

Sorry that some of you still have ups and downs - well, I guess it's normal - I had a major "down" when I got an email from Bounty - I would have been 10 weeks this week :(

Also I got a cheque with the refund from NCT but - and maybe I'm overreacting - it was just a blank cheque with no note or anything, no email response or call back - now I am not THAT sentimental but if I worked at the NCT and someone emailed me saying they had a miscarriage and were wondering if they could cancel their place and get a refund I would have slipped in a "sorry for you loss" one-sentence note with the cheque? Maybe I am overreacting :)

Also news from my end - the spotting FINALLY stopped and we did it :P I was a bit scared of the whole thing but also missed it so we just went ahead...tbh it's weird I am not monitoring my ovulation etc - I think subconsciously I need a break from all the pressure of pregnancy and I just want to let things happen - at least for now...

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday! xxx

Hi beesok - agree with you re: the NCT thing - seems most insensitive.... maybe they have a policy for that sort of thing that they don't put any notes in for anyone. Anyway, I know I'd be the same as you. Very much with you on the gym/fat thing - I seem to have put on 2kgs which won't go. I think even though my gym effort has been good, I've been allowing myself more treats - "I've been through a tough time therefore I deserve them" type thing.... hope the gym is good therapy for you.

Really finding it hard to be at work with all these Christmas reminders - just want to go out and buy presents and make mince pies!

Have decided to get more festive by changing name from wonnaywombat to winterwombatland

Hello ladies

Beesok i think that they should have put a note in too.....it might be a 'policy' but it would just be showing some human kindness.

I also still have the weight that I put on. It really is unfair....and I know I didn't eat more at the time so was puzzled about where it came from but I am certainly not doing what I need to now to lose it again. So I just look more porky than usual.

Hurrah for everyone getting on with dtd...makes things feel a bit more back to normal. We're gonna get to it again today...which with all the EWCM might be a 'good' time or a 'bad' time depending on how you look at it cos we are meant to be waiting too! Tbh I don't really think it'll make much difference considering it took 12 months last time......

Am seeing the consultant on Thurs. Am trying not to build it up too much because I think it might be a bit of a let down as he won't have all the answers and I won't be pregnant just from seeing him......but I will report back anything useful.

I think I am going to try to hold off buying a CBFM as it'll just make me worse....still no sign of my preseed though....hope it doesn't get lost in the post. That could be embarrassing to report!

Morning all.

Please do report back yellowtomato and fingers crossed you get some answers at least. Fingers crossed also your pre-seed isn't lost...!

I had a bad afternoon yesterday - when I changed my name, I had to go into my account to do it and sitting there was the calendar where you can enter your due date - it didn't hit me at first, but on the drive home I became more and more sad and wasn't in a great state by the time I got home. DH was great though (and a couple of glasses of vino helped too ). I have decided that I am going to speak to someone about this - I have been considering finding a coach for a while to help me get some focus at work and look at long-term career issues and I know that I definitely need one now as I'm achieveing virtually nothing during my working days and the MC / conception issues are definitely now impacting my work . What I want in a coach at the moment is someone who will listen to me get it all of my chest - I know that I need to do this before I can then talk about, and put into action, any next steps. So what I am doing is getting in touch with a psychotherapist here first who also uses "Brief Solution Focused Therapy" which I think may be a little like coaching. In fact yellowtomato - with your training, can you offer some advice on this - do you think the psychotherapist route is a good one? And in fact, anyone else who has any thoughts, your advice would be welcome - thanks x

And just to add salt to the wound, I have just had a call from the nurse who works for my ob/gyn - the swab she took last week has shown a mild infection so that's antibiotics for me for the next 6 days which always seem to give me a dose of thrush too - lovely!

Bah bloody humbug.....

P.S. Sorry to be so miserable on a Monday morning

Sorry about your infection winderwombatland - at least it has been spotted whilst it is only mild so it won't cause any problems. I understand how you are feeling - ttc and the mc is occupying my every waking moment and I hate getting up in the morning as have to face real life. I'm no expert but what you are talking about sounds like cognitive behavioural therapy which I think will help in your situation - I think is focuses on helping you to correct the the negative thought cycles you have - but I'm no expert, just looked a bit into it for myself when i have been low before. Sleeping is so much better for me right now. My kids are distracting but not totally as the thoughts are always there on the back burner and as soon as they are quiet I am back to obsessing. My patience is very low. I think if I don't feel better after Xmas I will do something about my mood as it is nearly 3 weeks since my mc and I feel really down. The mc seems to be behind me but I just feel that my body is doing nothing to get back to normal. My boobs hurt but I have no EWCM or signs that there is going to be ovulation any time soon. I have has a diagnosis of PCOS at 19 when my period when AWOL for a good few months but I have manged 3 pregnancies now so thought it wasn't really an issue - have got it into my head that this is now a major issue for me and I will never ovulate again. I am crackers already and am going even madder looking for ovulation symptoms. I would have expected it around now - 3 weeks after ERPC leading to a period 5 weeks after - sounds right to me as they said to expect a period 4-6 weeks after ERPC.

Hi wombat sorry to hear that you are struggling a bit at the moment. I think that the lack of focus and the up and downness is totally normal after what we've been through and I think that we are sometimes a bit impatient about the timescale within which we 'should' be feeling better.
Having said that I am a big fan of therapy! I have had 'person centred' therapy for some years and it has been particularly helpful at this time. I don't think you are in the UK are you? but these 2 websites from the main organisations for counselling and psychotherapy have some info about the types of therapy and what to look for in a counsellor. Kitkey is right that CBT is the most common, short, solution focused type of therapy. It tends to just look at changing your thought patterns from negative to positive and giving a practical way forward. Sounds like that could be useful for you right now. I'm really only at the beginning of my training so not really an expert..... but these links might give you more info so you can know what the terms mean etc. types of therapy If you look at the link on the left it also has a section finding the right therapist. At the bottom has some questions to ask/think about etc. This website is the same type of organisation you might find it helpful about therapies

Poor you re anti-bs, I haven't heard anything about my check-up yet

kitkey sorry that you are feeling down. I hope that with the kids getting excited about Xmas this may take your mind off it a little and you can start to heal. But once again I do think seeking help with a counsellor or something can also be v useful.

Sorry have to dash cos going to a training and apparently my tube line has 'severe delays' oh the joy on a cold Monday morning!

Afternoon all, hope you've had a good day?
I've just found out my employee has had bad news at her 12 week scan today......that is almost exactly where I would have been. Feel quite winded....so sorry for her but also brings it all back. Arrrggghhh, why do these horrid things have to happen? i didn't even know she was pregnant.....

Hi sorry not been on for ages, been mad busy at work with everyone falling and breaking limbs I haven't stopped and I'm on a ten day stretch too!! Im sorry to heat wombat that your having a bad day I think we will all have them in turn. I seem to have moved from upset to angry at the moment, I was so angry at one of my friends! She is having a bad time cos she's had an abortion she didn't want to have one but the guy she was with doesn't want to know and said she wouldn't cope of her own! So she's going on with her self which I was pretty good at listening, then I told her about what happened to me (not seen her for a bit) and she said oh I hear it happens to loads of people and then went on about how she's lost her baby and she's having counselling! There was a big group of us but I was gob smacked as were my other friends! Let's just say I will not be going out with her over the xmas period!
As for me I should have been 12 weeks today and I came on this morning so fingers crossed my body has regulated its self. Just to ask what's your first period been like after erpc or miscarriage I can't remember from last time, I have cramps and medium bleeding but its brown and watery (tmi sorry)
Is anyone on the 2 week wait yet, I so hope we get a !bfp for xmas, I'm out now so I'm hoping for a 2011 bfp!

Hi sorry not been on for ages, been mad busy at work with everyone falling and breaking limbs I haven't stopped and I'm on a ten day stretch too!! Im sorry to heat wombat that your having a bad day I think we will all have them in turn. I seem to have moved from upset to angry at the moment, I was so angry at one of my friends! She is having a bad time cos she's had an abortion she didn't want to have one but the guy she was with doesn't want to know and said she wouldn't cope of her own! So she's going on with her self which I was pretty good at listening, then I told her about what happened to me (not seen her for a bit) and she said oh I hear it happens to loads of people and then went on about how she's lost her baby and she's having counselling! There was a big group of us but I was gob smacked as were my other friends! Let's just say I will not be going out with her over the xmas period!
As for me I should have been 12 weeks today and I came on this morning so fingers crossed my body has regulated its self. Just to ask what's your first period been like after erpc or miscarriage I can't remember from last time, I have cramps and medium bleeding but its brown and watery (tmi sorry)
Is anyone on the 2 week wait yet, I so hope we get a !bfp for xmas, I'm out now so I'm hoping for a 2011 bfp!

Thanks winterwombat (like the name change!) and yellow - good luck with your appt on Thursday.

wonnay sorry to hear you're feeling down - I do hope it gets better for you and maybe Christmas will be a good time to rest and just think of happier things...

nurse sorry but I agree your friend is soooo insensitive (trying to be polite here - I wanted to use the b word

I am off to the gym in 10 .....soooo don't feel like it but have a session with my trainer so can't cancel and at least I will be told what to do ;) I ran by myself Fri - Sun and must say can see the difference in my legs and tummy already!

Something weird has happened to me lately - I am still a little upset about the mc but I am finding that I don't cry as much at "triggers" and actually find myself secretly hoping that I don't get pg for a while...it's almost like my brian has gone to shut down mode - don't want to talk about babies, think about babies let alone have a baby.......even FB pics of recent newborns don't make me weep or jealous....
I think this is a reaction - maybe my brian is in denial and trying to protect itself but honestly I have felt so much better over the past week...

We are ofcourse still trying not bothering with protection and ultimately I want a 2011 baby but I;m not in as much of a rush panic now and sort of calmed down about the whole thing.

He he he watch this space in a week ;)

Beesok I totally agree about the NCT's insensitivity. All I can imagine is that refunds are dealt with by people in a department who just deal with the money side of things. It surely couldn't have been that difficult for someone to pop a quick note in though, like you said

wombat when I just namechanged I was struck by my due date too, it's very hard isn't it. I've been seeing a counsellor for a while now - I'm not sure what type of therapy it is but I do find it really helpful. I wish you luck with finding the right type and the right person for you. Also, re antibiotics - if ever I have to take them I used to often end up with thrush but was given fantastic advice by my doctor a couple of years ago to go to the health food shop and get some "acidophillus lactobacillus" (they'll know exactly what you mean in the shop!). I know it's a bit of a mouthful but it's just a probiotic. She said the probiotic drinks and regular vitamins which claim to be probiotic just aren't strong enough and don't have enough 'friendly bacteria' but the pure ones are really good. They're usually in the fridge in the health food shop. I was a bit sceptical but they really did the trick for me.

nurse I'm very at your friend. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she soon thinks about it and realises how insensitive she was. I do hope so.

Beesok I too kind of feel like I've turned a bit of a corner this week. I'm sure there will still be some down days but time is definitely making things seem less raw. Mind you when I first thought I was feeling better it led me to feeling guilty that I was feeling better....can't win!

sparkly how are you doing?

Morning all and thank you v much for all your lovely comments and useful links and tips. It's really fab to have this support here.

When I called yesterday to make an appointment with the one person who had been recommended to me (there is not a huge choice here in the sandpit), she had a cancellation that day and so I decided to bite the bullet and see her (and she was English too so fortunately no language barriers). She was very good at putting me at my ease, empathisising, asking the right questions and making me feel normal. In my job and at home, I tend to be the one doing the listening and so it was wonderful to be listened to and get a lot off my chest - I think that a lot of the thoughts were going round and round in my head and getting all tangled up in themselves and it's not until you say them out loud that they begin to make a bit of sense. Felt quite exhausted afterwards and ended up having a half hour nap, but definitely felt better after that. I have a bit of "homework" to do in between our next session which is scheduled for a couple of weeks.

yellowtomato - a big thank you for those links - lots of good info on theose websistes and it definitely makes a bit more sense of all the different types. The person-centred therarpy you have experienced sounds very positive. I'm even more impressed with the training you are undergoing - sounds as if there is an awful lot to learn.... so sorry to read about your employee - that must have been really hard. Did she / does she know about you?

koolforcats - wonderful advice re: the lactobillus - I'm heading to the health shop at lunch time today - thank you! Very glad for you and beesok that you feel you have turned a bit of a corner - I like reading about positivity on this thread.

kitkey - symptom spotting is a sure way to drive yourself a bit mad, but we all do it! Hope you feel better soon.

Nurse - grrrr re: your friend.... re: first period, from what I've read, it's anything goes - it could be lighter, heavier, shorter, longer than usual so that's really helpful isn't it?!

How is everyone else today?

Thanks again for all your support ladies - you got the first mention in the session yesterday when she asked what I was doing to help myself!

Wow winter you don't hang about do you? Talk about a woman of action! Glad the links helped and also that you got on well with your counsellor. It is totally normal to feel tired after a session, i normally feel quite exhausted the next day if it has been a particularly emotional one.
I did tell her about me the week after the op. She was upset and had tears when I told her which I thought was odd but I guess she must have felt awful cos she was at the same stage as me and hadn't/didn't want to say anything.

beesok i am totally jealous impressed with your gym attendance and results achieved. I seem to just be too lazy tired at the moment to get stuck in. But I am hating having the extra weight.

I think I am feeling a bit more 'normal' now although I do have 'the rage'. I am normally fairly even tempered but at the moment some things make me beyond furious. Don't get me started on Royal mail.....

And sparkly, sparkly where are you? I hope you are feeling better but even if not come and talk to us.

right off to day 4 of training. It's all about victims of crime......I didn't sleep too well last night with it all going round in my head. Must learn to compartmentalise!

Gosh yellow - your poor employee and you - what a tricky situation for you both to be in. I hope you can get some support from each other. Glad you are feeling a bit more normal despite "the rage" and your victims of crime training - heavy stuff!

How's the snow in the UK right now? Pain in the a+se or putting you in the festive mood?

brought, sparkly, mrsb - how are lovely ladies this fine Tuesday?

Hi laydees! Sorry to worry you with my silence, I've been popping in and out keeping updated with you all, thanks for thinking of me

Haven't posted as had nothing smartarsed amusing to cheer you up with, and the EWCM phase passed unhindered by coupling of any kind because we couldn't heave our fat arses off the sofa. Bit sad about that in retrospect but drink like a fish over Christmas so it's for the best

I intend to go on a health kick in the New Year, lose weight, get less weezy fit and take full advantage of EWCM. Feeling broody in the sense of wanting a little babygro'd bundle to cuddle but I think that's just the prevailing sense of family at the moment, and maybe because my niece is 8 weeks old tomorrow and is becoming a proper little bundle of cuteness now. Also because I am terribly superficial and just want to to buy cute things for my baby, and impress with how Christmassy and attractive we both are, as we waft through John Lewis smiling angelically

Hi everyone
I'm back from a few days internet silence after being on a course (yawn emocion) nothing useful like yellow boring sales course. I am so not a born salesperson and really hope I get preggers soon so I can give it up!

I too am really impressed with the gym action going on in this group, running is my only exercise and there is no way that is going on around here at the moment unless I do it in ice skates!

So nurse you have your period! great news (ish) I will be happy when mine comes then I can start thinking about fertile days etc. I would drive myself to an early grave if I used a proper ovulation testing method! Your "friend" doesn't actually sound very nice........ hope you are ok x and don't worry about not having been here a while you make up for it by saying everything twice
xxxx

I so hate my phone! I can't understand why it does it! I'm pleased to have got my AF and it was 28 days from the procedure, but its been so heavy and I mean heavy!!!!!!! I feel drained but at least I'm having a good clean out!
As for my friend I'm not even going to let her bother me I just figured she's made a decision and she has to live with it and with how bad she feels that's punishment enough!

I'm debating to buy some ov tests? Is anyone else using them???
Anyone on the two week wait??
I'm trying so hard not to be desperate to get pg but its all I can think about!!! I just want to chill out for a bit but I think about it all the time, I feel I need to be pg to move on! Does anyone else feel like this? I felt like it last time and it did help when I got pg.

I so hate my phone! I can't understand why it does it! I'm pleased to have got my AF and it was 28 days from the procedure, but its been so heavy and I mean heavy!!!!!!! I feel drained but at least I'm having a good clean out!
As for my friend I'm not even going to let her bother me I just figured she's made a decision and she has to live with it and with how bad she feels that's punishment enough!

I'm debating to buy some ov tests? Is anyone else using them???
Anyone on the two week wait??
I'm trying so hard not to be desperate to get pg but its all I can think about!!! I just want to chill out for a bit but I think about it all the time, I feel I need to be pg to move on! Does anyone else feel like this? I felt like it last time and it did help when I got pg.

Damn you double post!