TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

[nurse47]

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

Hi dolly
So Sorry you have to join us and welcome to the thread. Regarding codes, there is an acynoms section on here linked at the top, AF isn't on the list but it stands for Aunt flo/ ah feck, monthly friend or worst enemy depending on your situation!
I was a natural, and had just a day off, as I am a bury your head in the sand kind of girl, I am not in a physical job at all, I waited about 2 to 3 weeks before I went for a run- the only physical thing I do.

Well one more AF for us before we start properly trying again, my AF which started out a bit heavier than usual, ended up being very normal and light, which has got me all paranoid that my hormones are not producing enough for one to get a good grip, damn google....

On a totally un TTC note......I got asked for ID in Asda the other day!!! I am 35! I was over the moon!!

Sending virtual mulled wines out to all xxxxx

Hi dolly and welcome to the thread although sorry you have had to join us. You will indeed find great support here and re: heading back to work, I had a couple of days off with the first MC (natural) and then with the 2nd, I had an ERPC and then had a week off in the end, but three of those days were planned holidays anyway (grrr.... not how I'd choose to spend my time). I think I would have taken the time anyway even though I don't have a physical job. When I did return to work I was very unproductive for the first 2-3 weeks but it was good to at least be around other people. I went for my first run 5 days post ERPC and felt fine. It's different for everyone though, the only advice I would give is to not feel bad about taking all the time you need and don't be surprised if you're ok one day and not the next - it's quite a rollercoaster. Thinking of you lots x

Brought - my AF wasn't quite "normal" this month - light then heavy then light then heavy, but they do say anything goes with the first one post MC. That's brilliant re: the ID - what a lovely Christmas present!

Bummer re: AF Mrs B - as you say, at least you can enjoy all the festive treats.

I'm hoping to be ovulating within the next week so stocking up on OPKs later today - I can think of more exciting things to be buying at this time of year!

Well well well Af arrived this morning bang on time in line with the Ovulation kit being positive 2 weeks ago and it is exactly 5 weeks post ERPC. I haven't even been waiting long. I think I have been being really psycho lately and hopefully it was hormone related and I will feel better now. Will be monitoring its heaviness I suspect because I am indeed nuts.

Morning all

Hurrah for AF kitkey hopefully you can relax a little and enjoy Xmas now.....mine was almost exactly 5 weeks as well. Try not to examine it in too much detail as it might not be totally 'normal' but will be the month after. Mine has been heavier than usual but that's about the only difference.

MrsB33 Sorry you got af but good thinking on the pate/cheese eating and booze drinking, that is def an upside. We can both go on a pre-seed adventure next month. i haven't mentioned it to DP and going to try to get away without him noticing, not sure how possible that will be!

broughthim Google is evil, don't look! My af was heavier after first mc and stayed that way. Not sure if that is good or bad but I guess it's different for everyone. And i'm impressed with the age check.......i dream of being asked......maybe need to get some new face cream or something!

Hi Dolly you are very welcome here, am very sorry to hear about your mc. For me it was my second mc and i am nearly 38 and I haven't got any children either. I do understand what you mean about feeling time is running out but the 'what will be will be' philosophy is one I'm trying to stick to. I'm glad posting made you feel better, we're always here to listen.

Looks like there has been a bit of a thaw in the weather which is good news for me making it to France! Hurrah.

winter I've made an Xmas playlist on my ipod but have played it so much am not a bit sick of it!

On day 5 of af and think it's staring to calm down a bit...and then back to watching for ovulation signs. Oh the never ending roller coaster.......

ooohhh yellow, ive also kept the pre-seed a secret from my hubby, not really sure how he will react, can go either way really, he,l either think im a nutter and wont go anywhere near me or he,l think it gives him the divine right to bonk away whenever he likes as were using pre-seed!!! (he,l prob go with the later) so will avoid the conversation...
brought, rather chuffed but i also got asked for id in asda last week, was buying a bottle of cheap red for my mulled wine, obviously thought i was going to drink it on the street corner with my teenage friends!!! Lol, whilst eating my asda extra special mince pies, and wearing the pants for my dad!!!! Lol
anyway it was it truely made my dad!! In actual fact it was the day b4 my 33rd bday.... Not bad as i looked as ruff as a badgers bum!!!
Kitkey, glad your af as arrived, mine was also 5 weeks post mc, but has been very light up till now so fingers crossed this is the way its going to be now, looks like were possibly going to be in unison, with mine arriving last night, will be an interesting journey on the ttc train.

In bed with the dreaded lurgy ladies, so will be around alot over the next few days at this rate. X

Hi all,

I'm sorry you find yourself here dolly, its such a difficult time. I'm still a newbie to this thread too, but I'm finding its really helping to know that there are other people in the same situation and they're all so supportive. Hope you're taking care of yourself one day at a time. I had three weeks off work in total - one week before my erpc (straight after the scan that showed all wasn't well, I hadn't had any bleeding or pain at that point though and the thought of working while knowing that I could mc at any moment was a bit too much for me to handle), then I had a fortnight off to recover from the erpc itself. I bled the whole time, but I'm one of the unlucky ones - you should be fine. Emotionally though when I eventually went back to work I still felt distracted and miserable, so if I were you I'd take as long as you need x

So glad AF arrived for you kitkey, especially as you'd been so worried. Hopefully that means you can relax a bit and enjoy Christmas.

yellow I'm loving the idea of your Xmas playlist, I need a last-minute injection of festivity so I might copy your idea!

wombat Glad to hear that its helpful chatting to the psychologist, did you refer yourself? Am thinking come the New Year it might be helpful to have someone to chat to and offload a bit, still have lots of thoughts swirling round in my head that I wouldn't mind getting out (to someone who doesn't know me ideally so I don't feel like I'm burdening someone). This week I've been gutted because it was supposed to be our 12 week scan and telling everyone we were pg on Christmas Day. I think I'm the same as you, grieving for the lost plans as much as anything else. Hope it continues to help x

Good luck with the lurgy MrsB, hope you shake it off soon. I prescribe medicinal mulled wine or hot choc spiked with Baileys (you can tell I'm not a doctor )

I got asked for id out of the blue about six months ago in Tesco (am 31) and the woman on the checkout was so apologetic, but I told her she'd made my day! The woman in the queue behind begged to be asked for id too...! I think she was just new though, and sticking to the rules by the letter (rather than actually thinking I in any way resembled a fresh-faced 17 year old...)

Hi dolly,
I'm new here too - been lurking for a week or so! I had my EPRC on Monday 13th, having been diagnosed at 12 wk scan with a blighted ovum (or anembryonic pregnancy as they seem to call it now). Total shock as I had absolutely no sign anything was wrong and was looking forward to taking my wee picture home and showing everyone before Christmas.
Like I say I have been lurking for a wee while, when I was at home recovering from EPRC and snowed in so not able to do anything other than think about it! These ladies seem absolutely lovely and supportive, and although I am not sure how long we will wait before ttc again, I will be hanging out here for a while because it feels safe! I came back to work on Monday, a week after the EPRC, but the doc would have happily given me at least another week so I guess it really depends on how you are feeling both physically and mentally. Due to being snowed in, I also felt that I needed to get to work in order to be doing something and seeing people and feeling a bit more "normal" but whether that's a good idea really depends on your job - take care of yourself and ask anything you need to, rant as much as you like, whatever helps, take care xxx

Nice to meet you wellie but so sorry to hear your story. Finding out at the 12 week scan must have been so tough. Hope you're recovering well after your erpc. I haven't been here long but I'm glad I found this lovely safe place to chat and vent. I hope it'll give you some comfort to be here, and to be looking ahead towards the next stage to help you get over this one. Lots of hugs xx

Afternoon all

Before I start I just want to say that I'm looking for a lot bit of sympathy. I went to the hospital today for my blood tests and they couldn't get a vein. Took 3 nurses 5 different attempts (including in my hand) to get any blood. It really hurt and I almost fainted twice. And feeling v wobbly and sorry for myself now....and I have noone in real life to tell cos nobody knows about the tests (except DP who is at work) So I'm relying on you guys to give me all the sympathy you've got.......Also I was in the supermarket just now and by the entrance there was a spare trolly that seemed all alone so went to use it and this woman totally had a go at me telling me it was her trolly. She hadn't put anything in it yet or anything......she was so agressive I nearly burst into tears. Wanted to say 'don't you know what a difficult morning I have had....'

Ok now I've got that out of the way a big welcome to wellie sorry you've had to find yourself here but glad you've found it helpful.

strawberry I had been seeing a counsellor for a while for other matters but also found it incredibily helpful to talk through all miscarriage/pregnancy related stuff. Sometimes it was things I talked to my friends about after but it was great to have her as an initial sounding board to help me to but my thoughts in order.

Right going to go back to swooning on the sofa!

Awww yellow, sending you big hugs. You did well not to faint at all, I always think needles in the arm is awful at the best of times without all the extra hassle you've had. And the witch at the supermarket too, you should have bellowed at her and embarrassed her for being so horrible (easier said in retrospect than actually done at the time though, I know)! Make sure you're accompanied on the sofa by something alcoholic for recovery - I know it isn't even 4pm yet, but it is Christmas - and preferably a large box of chocs or big slice of cake. Take care of yourself xx

Thank you strawberry that's just what I needed.....still feeling a bit teary. But DP and I are having our own little Xmas tonight so that is something to cheer me up. I've got stuck into the chocolate already and may also take your advice on the alcohol, purely for medicinal purposes. Red wine has iron in it doesn't it?

Aw, yellow, big hugs!! Have you had really brilliant arguments/comebacks in your head since? I do that, most cathartic. What a bitch. Someone nearly ran me down at a zebra crossing yesterday, and I actually waved thanks in a non-sarcastic manner after I'd crossed! What a sap. He really got it in the neck in my imaginery word though Be a bit teary and have a whimper, and then crack open the old Cabernet and get nice and fuzzy.

wellieboots, hello. Your post made me wibbly, I found out about my blighted ovum at my 12 week scan too . For quite a few weeks I really re-lived the emptiness of the monitor picture, where my little bean should have been wriggling away. It still feels like a bit of a dream/nightmare really, like it didn't happen and I'd made it up, like I was just playing at being an adult and making a baby. I revisit those feelings a lot less now (over 2 months in), they're curled up in a box which I only occasionally open and they make my heart thud to the ground every time, BUT......you move on, and the fear is outwayed by something more powerful which is leading me, as we type today, to wonder how I'm going to fit in a sneaky shag whilst staying with relatives over Christmas, to maximise my chances! Good show to you ladies hoping to syringe in the old pre-seed surruptitiously by the way, to be a fly on that bathroom wall! Anyway, welcome, remove your snowy shoes and settle down with us for some wine and nibbles x

ahhh yellow wat a bitch!! These people defo come at times to test us, i had a man the week after my mmc do something simular, all i wanted to do was cry, i had no scarastic comment or witty wip to fly back at him, which was defo not like me at all, lol

i just think karma will come back and bite them in the ass when they least expect it!!!

Enjoy your early xmas with hubby tonight you deserve it.

Welcome wellie, sorry youve found yourself here. As you can see were a supportive bunch on here, even though we do suffer from a foul mouth every so often. Feel free to rant, rave and cry,shout,laugh whenever you like, there will always be one of us here to support you through it.... X

p.s sorry for my spelling, no spell check on my phone. X

hi ladies and welcome wellie, so sorry you found yourself here, i hope you can get all the support you can from us it has helped us all so much!

I finished work today (well for four days anyway) so me and my hubby are having an xmas night too!

hope everyone is ok? will check in tomorrow to have a proper read and chat, got to rush to go and pick up DD, and see the in laws x

Hi everyone.
Yellow, sounds like you had a horrible day, evil supermarket woman.
Wellie, nice to see you've found this thread but obviously not good you're here in the same way none of us would want to be.
Am still a bit cloud headed so not great long post from me. 2 weeks today since ERPC, it feels a lot longer in that it feels like it was ages ago that I was pregnant but seems v short in terms of getting my head round it.
Hope you're all enjoying early xmas dinners, we've just been planning our xmas stuff as i am braving the supermarket in the morning with small boys in tow! I have switched off from work completely and am attempting to be perfect housewife... although I am now on my 3rd set of micepies, each slightly better that before but still not the finished article!
I have stopped bleeding so we've started ttc in that we're not using anything not to. Had a couple of old blood bleeds after each time which I found really heart-wrenching but I think all has gone now. I just really want to be pregnant again but am scared about how I'm going to feel when inevitably it doesn't happen this month and AF appears, or no AF just a BFN and f*cked up cycle.... Am taking hope from those of you who seem much further on mentally and physically so thanks for your posts. Sorry mine isn't v positive. Am trying to be positive in RL so this is my outlet. Thanks.

ha ha micepies... made me smile :-)

Welcome to the thread wellieboots and sorry that you have found yourself on here. It's all very overwhelming to start with and I think it's possible to go through every emotion on the spectrum and wondering if life will ever get back to normal again. I guess that feeling must have been intensified being snowed in. As the others say, we are very supportive of each other here and sharing has really helped me with the recovery. Thinking of you x

manamana - glad to hear that the bleeding has stopped and that you are getting back into the swing of things slowly - do give yourself and your body some time - easy to say, but harder to do, I know

sparkly - do you know you have a real gift for writing? Your posts always seem spot-on. I'm wondering if you do something with it for a career.... Am totally with you re: the barbed retorts and comebacks in my head, but always afterwards - grr.... Good luck with the sneaky shagging!

Aw yellow - that must have been really frustrating and difficult for you - did they get the blood in the end or do you have to go back? they often struggle with me to get a vein and the nurse last time said it's good to be warm and well hydrated - hope that helps. Sending virtual hug and lots of mincepies (or a manamana micepie!) with copious amounts of brandy butter.

strawberry - I just went along myself to the psychologist, no referral (but have had to pay of course - boo....). Like you say, it's good to talk to someone without feeling as if you're burdening them and those swirling thoughts that are going round and round? It's amazing how much clarity you get when you actually say them out loud to a really good listener who asks you the right questions to help put them into some sort of order. I would highly recommend it, be it a therapist, counsellor or psychologist.

Nurse - good to hear from you and hope you enjoyed your xmas night and your 4 days off.

kitkey - last but by no means least, I'm over the moon for you re: AF! Which makes me a nutter too if I am so thrilled over someone else's periods who I've never even met in RL!

Went to "Aladdin" last night - I love pantos - great excuse to be a kid again and laugh at all the stupid jokes. There was even a stall selling mulled wine which has made me feel even more festive than before!

As for all you ladies being asked for your ID, I think I'm going to hotfoot it back to the UK just to see if I am looking all of my 37 years..... First stop Asda as there have been 2 of you who have been asked there, then Tesco and failing that, who can recommend a good plastic surgeon?!

Oh and waves to brought, mrsb, dolly and anyone I may have missed - sorry!

Morning all

Thank you for all the kind words yesterday, am feeling much brighter today and my arm/hand etc aren't really hurting anymore. I laid on the sofa and cried whilst watching Dirty Dancing (!) and that seemed to let out some of the tension. They did get the blood in the end but by that time I was in a different dept than where I should have been so just hope the blood got sent to the right dept within the 2 hour window to be tested. Thanks winter for the tips for next time.....well hopefully won't have to do it again any time soon!

manamana tee hee, how do you get hold of all the mice you need??! I am very impressed with the home baking....you can send the spares my way, they don't need to be perfect! I know what you mean about time feeling a bit distorted ie being a short time and feeling like another lifetime at the same time. It has been nearly 6 weeks for me now and I am quite calm but I still think I will have high expectations this month (especially with my sneaky pre-seed application!) and when I get af it will be a crash down to earth. But I think I just have to try to focus on other things in my life and not get obsessed.....easier said than done though.

MrsB33 how's the lurgy progressing, are you feeling any better?

winter am jealous re the panto, I love them too but couldn't force persuade anyone to come with me....and I love mulled wine.

Am braving it to Oxford street today and then the supermarket, I wonder if I'll make it back in one piece. But I also have to get mince pies now after talking about them so much on here......yum. Mince pies with custard......maybe not for breakfast though!

Ah yellow - all the rules go out the window over Christmas. If you want mince/mice pies with custard for breakfast, you go for it! [frgin] Great to hear you are feeling better today - you must be if you're planning to tackle Oxford Street

We have just broken the rules here at work with Pizza Hut delivery and mince pies washed down with some Moet and Chandon for lunch in the boardroom!

Ooops - clearly too much Moet for me! - meant to do a not a [frgin]

Oooh winter that sounds fun, pizza, mince pies and champagne for lunch. You're giving me idea on what to follow up the breakfast with!

And don't attempt to work......nobody should have to work between 23rd and erm........let's say 4th jan! A new rule.......

Oooh - I like your thinking yellow. What other rules can we make up?

1. no-one in RL is allowed to announce they are PG until we are

2. we will not get totally obsessed with EWCM, POAS, 2ww, AFs, SWI and any other acronyms related to TTC (yeah right)

3. we will develop an uncanny ability to eat and drink as much soft cheese, pate, sushi and alcohol as we choose and not put on any weight

4. we will sing hearty praises to the founders of MN for providing such a valuable support network

Other suggestions very welcome ladies!

Ha ha ha wombat I particularly like no. 1

I'll see if I can think of any others...

Hey ladies, im back to the land of the living, well im back at work at least, even if it is just for the day...
your posts have proper cheered me up today, micepies, shagging... what are we like!!! (WINK)

Been feeling rather sorry for myself, last night and the first part of today.
i think id built up this month as "THE MONTH" to get that BFP was devastating!! i think i cried buckets yesterday...(SAD)

im trying to think abit more positive today, and set myself some clear goals, if im not pg by my previous due date, I need to go pay my doctor a visit... so that gives me a whole three months!! no pressure or anything!!

waves to all. xx