TTC after MC, ERPC anyone want to join me??

[nurse47]

Hi ive been posting on the miscarrage forum but now feel ready to start all over again!
My story, Had my first MMC in nov 2007, followed by an erpc (worst moment of my life) this was my first pregnancy and i felt robbed. Waited for two periods and got pg with my little DD in feb 2008, i had a great pg and birth but was on constant knicker alert. We decided when she was two we would like another baby to add to the familiy, we decided to try in sept this year and got pg first time! (very shocked) I was so hoping this would be my time to have a stress free pg and actually enjoy the experience! How wrong i was, i started to spot at six weeks had a scan which showed a sac but no baby, i then enjoured the worst two week of my life by having scan and blood tests. I was told on the 8th on nov the pregnany was not going to continue and i had a blighted ovum, and on the 9th i had a erpc. I have recovered well and stopped bleeding the day after the procedure. I went to see my doc last week who told me i could start ttc asap as long as i feel up to it?? anyone else ttc straight away, last time i was told to wait and i did but this time i have read that there is no lit to say wait apart from to date the pg?? Im hoping there are some people who can share there experiences and someone who wants to join me!

broughthimround oh no, that doesn't sound good. Poor you, have you anything nice planned for the weekend to cheer you up?

manamana sorry to hear about mc but you are very welcome here. My partner seems to have moved on quite quickly and doesn't really like to discuss it anymore. My erpc was 5 weeks ago.

Emotionally I think I am more or less back to normal but I think I'd prefer not to hear any pregnancy announcements at the moment. I got my AF this morning. Am really happy yet a tiny bit disappointed too because we did have a sneaky try this month. Mind you because I am having tests it is probably best to be able to see those results first!

Re Xmas I have bought all my presents and putting tree up today! We all need to cross our fingers that it doesn't snow near gatwick on Xmas eve so I can get my flight to France.
We've only got a tiny dusting of snow today but apparently a lot more is on it's way. How much have you got?

Welcome manamana. hope your recovery and journey to a BFP is a short one.

Great news on the AF front yellow. I know what you mean about sneakily wanting a BFP

Well no AF for me - if I hadn't had the spotting earlier in the week I would be hopeful for a BFP but the spotting has put me right off and freaked me out that this was my AF. I am peeing on the internet tests at least twice a day at the moment and not even a evaporation line to excite me. I am so hoping for AF before xmas as otherwise I will still be in this foul mood with an invisible sign over my head saying "don't talk to me". My mood is dreadful. I just keep thinking of the Dr who did the ERPC and promised risk of complication is low- I am very angry with the world. I can cope with the miscarriage if my body would do something for me.

Had a bit too much to drink on thursday night at my works xmas party night and it affected me quite badly that I still feel rough today - maybe that is making my mood worse too.

Got to rush - kids crying

welcome mana, sorry youve found yourself on this thread. You,ll get plenty of support here, we all at different stages now, post mc, i think i maybe the furthest along, three cycles since my mmc just waiting on my next hopefully BFP... (i think im right, unless someones lurking lol)
emotionally it does get better but we all have blips along the way and this thread is always there for those blips.
I had one just this morning when yet another friend announced via the evil facebook she was pg due in july!!! Sometimes i just wish all pg women would just bugger off!!! (JOKE :@) )
had my xmas pty in london thursday nyt, drank alittle too much so still feel im recovering from that, well thats my excuse for still being in bed at 11:30 watching nigella!!! Lol

nurse, welcome back, your naughty weekend sounds fab, my husband did the same for me, and about the same point as you are now, and it was just what we needed.

Hope the rest of you ladies are well, still waiting on my pre seed and ov sticks from amazon at this rate it will be dec 2o11 before they arrive, bloody snow!!

mrs b when do you test? if you dont mind me asking??? i know what you mean about facebook i feel like everytime i go on someone else is pg!
just ordered some cheap pg tests an 2 digital pg tests, ive decided to give ov tests a miss i know its souns daft but ive got pg 3 times so i dont think i have a problem getting pg just staying pg!
Im off out tonight with me best friend and her husband (she is 6 months pg! i just cant get away from it)if the snow doesnt get any worse!
yellow congrats on af, at least you know your body is getting back on track, and i felt as though i was back in control once af came.
kitty keep your chin up! with your mood i would think your af is just around the corner ( i have my fingers crossed it before xmas so you can move on into 2011)

its due on the 22nd of dec nurse, i normally get pmt the week before and boy have i had it this week, so not holding outfor the bfp.... Only got pg once and always felt that was a bit of a fluke and we hadnt worked out best dates ect, only just got married so was a little fruity if you know what i mean... Wink wink.
Tried taking my temps last months but didnt make much sense as they were all over the place and used the ov sticks for my fertile period got two lines on two occasions so fingers crossed it works.....
Good luck tonight nurse, im sure you,l be fine, my bestfriend who was 3 weeks behind me doesnt seem to get to me now, as its almost like i cant connect with being that pg as ive never been??? If that makes sense..
Hope you ladies all have a fab weekend. X

Afternoon all. Hope you are all staying nice and toasty. I'm currently sat at my desk at the office staring out over grey rooftops to the boring desert beyond and dreaming of snowball fights, log fires and copious amounts of mulled wine and mince pies - sigh..... I'm not complaining really - the tree went up this weekend and the presents are all bought and wrapped, the shops are full of carols and decorations so it all feels lovely and Christmassy, bar the odd camel coming into view!

manamana - v sorry that you have found yourself. I do hope that you find it a good support. The early days and weeks are very hard - be kind to yourself and your DH and don't expect too much of yourself too soon. Do you have good support of friends and family?

kitkey - how very frustrating for you - it must be an anxious time and it's no wonder that you feel as bad as you do. Thinking of you and sending lots of AF thoughts your way. They say it's not unusual for the first period to take up to 8 weeks post MC regardless of how the MC was managed.

manamana - sorry, typed too quick - v sorry that you have found yourself on this thread.

yellow - congrats on AF, which seems an odd thing to say given we are here on a conception bored but I hope you know what I mean. I know what you mean about the tiny bit of hope as were weren't quite SWI but neither were we SWOI.... You can keep us updated in a couple of weeks on your adventures with the pre-seed

mrsb - do keep us posted, we'll be hanging on for news.

nurse - hope your night out wasn't too hard with PG friend

sparkly - enjoyed hearing about your weekend away and the James concert - took me back a few years too!

brought - I have wandered over to Jue in June a couple of times with mixed reactions so am trying to stay off it, but it's hard. Hope you are feeling less sad now.

I had a bit of a breakthrough moment yesterday - saw a girl in the gym who I chat with occasionally who I've not seen for a while and thought she looked PG but didn't like to say anything. Anyway, she came over and told me she was 7 months and it was unplanned etc. etc. and while I was and for the first couple of minutes, I found I quite enjoyed chatting to her and even felt ever so slightly smug as I hopped on the treadmill to do a few kms knowing that I could and also then go and enjoy as many glasses of wine as I wanted - how's that for progress?! I have my 2nd appointment with the pyschologist tomorrow and feeling like a bit of a fraud to be honest but I think it will be good to speak to her again anyway.

Well, enjoy your Sundays ladies - have lots of roasties to stave off the cold!

hi just getting in bed as i was a bit delicate today! last night was great it was good to catch up with my best friend she looked great! it didnt bother me at all her been pg and we didnt talk about babies all night which was good, she is a good friend and she too has a mc and then got pg with this baby 8 weeks after he mc so she knows how i feel at the moment. Well i think ive ov so i too will be on the 2ww soon if af comes on time i have to wait till the 2nd of jan!

wombat hope your session goes ok tomorrow it must be working so dont feel like a fraud.

kitty-hope your ok?

MrsB -fingers crossed your our first
graduate! (im excited for you)

yellow-congrats on af too

brought-hope your ok and from now on your banned from looking at the due date board! (thats untill your back on there and fingers crossed it will be soon too x)

Newbies hope your all ok, its early days fro some of you and you will still be feeling a lot of emotions and anger. We are her to share and vent.

long post sorry!! got carried away

glad you had a good nyt nurse, kindof the same with me and my friend whos pg too, shes 6 months now and has had 3 mc,s so feels very different with her no jealousy or anything, im actually chuffed for her...

Thanks for all the support ladies but honestly think its a bfn this month, i kinda knew i was pg the last time even though it was my 1st and wasnt sure what to expect, my senses were telling me i was pg, this time not.... Oh well only 3 days to wait now

Great news on your progress wombat, you can really see how far youve moved on when things like that happen.

Speak soon ladies

Hi ladies, I'm not in a good place right now - got myself in a right state and think it is best if i don't think about ttc with you guys at the moment. The spotting stopped - 2 drops of blood so presume that was AF and will visit GP after xmas. Need to try and get a grip before xmas so can enjoy the kids I have. I have PCOS and now my body is in a mess from the ERPC so am in for the long haul. Good luck to you all - I might lurk but trying to stay away. Thanks for all your kindness.

Really sorry to hear that kitkey - thinking of you and sending lots of warm wishes. Do please lurk if it helps you x

nurse and mrsb - lovely to hear that you are enjoying being with your pg friends and we hope to hear some good news from one of us soon - no pressure of course!

Just downloaded some xmas songs on i-tunes so feeling lovely and festive. Bring on the turkey!

Morning all
kitkey I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling bad, I wish I could think of something useful or helpful to say. If staying away or only lurking helps then that's what you should do. I'll be thinking of you and sending some AF vibes in your direction. Hope you do manage to enjoy Xmas.
I'm impressed with the progress MrsB33, winter and nurse with dealing with pg people. I haven't had to test it out yet but I suspect I'm not quite at that accepting stage yet.
MrsB33 2 days to go....you know your body best but I'm still crossing fingers for a lovely BFP for you.
winter you shouldn't feel a fraud re psychologist just cos you are feeling better. And if you enjoy taking the time for yourself to talk that's part of what it's all about after all. You made me laugh with your Xmassy descriptions and then 'a camel comes into view'....I guess that could be with the 3 wise men? And don't worry I'll update you all about pre-seed adventures, I think it may be messy!
I went for a massive roast with friends in a 'gastro' pub yesterday with log fire and everything. And with all the snow outside it felt very Xmassy. V cold here today, minus 2!
I have my final 2 blood tests on Wednesday and then will get the results in 4 to 6 weeks. And will work on a BFP in the meantime.

Big wave to sparkly, strawberry, brought, star and kool.......how is everyone?

Thanks for your kind words yellow. That's a very good point re: the wise men - After all, Christmas was "invented" in the desert! Oooooh - so jealous re: gastro pub with fire and snow!

Morning all,

A mere 3 inches of snow here, freezing cold but I used it as an excuse to burn some calories by helping DH clear and grit the drive yesterday. Proudly pointed out to him that I was the only woman in the street who'd got out there and got stuck in with a shovel. Instead of being impressed he did the typical manly thing of telling me I wasn't doing it properly and was making more of a mess than clearing up!

manamana So sorry that you've found yourself here in such tough circumstances, my heart goes out to you and I hope you're looking after yourself right now x

kitkey FX that the GP finds everything in order and we see you back here soon. Good luck in the meantime and hope you enjoy Christmas the best you can x

yellow Good look for those final blood tests, am totally with you on not being ready for people's pg announcements - I've deleted two facebook friends in the last week because my head's just not in the right place for their daily 'me and bump' updates. Makes me feel a bit awful, but its all about self-preservation at the moment really isn't it? (Hope so, I feel even more guilty now because that sounds so much worse written down!)

So impressed at how you're all doing in the presence of pg ladies, am hoping that once AF arrives and DH and I are back ttc in earnest I'll be able to cope with it a little bit better. FX!

Kitty I'm sending you big hugs and try to enjoy xmas as best you can just try and think a new year a new start!! I hope we see you soon x x

As for the pg friend thing I think it depends how good your friend is! I have some friends who are pg and are not considerate at all! They forget how you feel and some have had losses them selves. I think as well time is a healer and life goes on, people will get pg and I just think there is nothing I can do about other people so I just concentrate on myself!

Kitty I'm sending you big hugs and try to enjoy xmas as best you can just try and think a new year a new start!! I hope we see you soon x x

As for the pg friend thing I think it depends how good your friend is! I have some friends who are pg and are not considerate at all! They forget how you feel and some have had losses them selves. I think as well time is a healer and life goes on, people will get pg and I just think there is nothing I can do about other people so I just concentrate on myself!

strawberry - totally understandable re: deleting pg friends - it doesn't sound bad at all. Somewhere earlier on this post I admitted that I almost shoulder barged a pg woman as we passed through revolving doors together - probably about the same stage you're at. Couldn't agree more re: coping better with AF arrival and ttc - FX for you x P.S. Loved your description of you and DH shovelling snow!

Had my 2nd appointment with the psychologist today which was really good again. I pinpointed (with her help obviously) that it's the loss of all the dreams and plans that's the hardest, particularly as I have quite a vivid imagination and play out scenarios in my head of what I'd say, what people's reactions would be etc. etc. Just being able to name what was making me sad has really helped. We probably spent half the session on the mcs and the rest on work and why I am finding it so hard to get motivated (which was going on pre MCs) which again was v helpful - didn't come up with anything concrete, but plenty to mull over.

Right, off to listen to Now That's What I Call Christmas that I just downloaded this morning on itunes - yay for Slade!

Hello Ladies, I've just joined the site and I'm still trying to decipher all the codes but I've found reading everyones experiences a huge help and comfort.

My story, well we found out we were pregnant on Sun 28th Nov. We weren't trying but we didn't mind if it happened if you know what I mean. I'm 39 and never been pregnant before so when I kept spotting and had sore boobs I went to the doctor who referred me for a scan for possible endometriosis?! It wasn't until I fell asleep on the sofa which I never do my other half suggested I could be pregnant. I looked up my symptoms and it all seemed to look that way so we drove around all the late shops on a Sunday night looking for a test lol. We found one in a corner shop and it shot to positive immediately. OMG we were so happy, we couldn't get the grins off our faces. Unfortnately the happiness only lasted 5 days. On the friday I had a dull lower pain for about 40 mins then passed a huge clot! I knew it had gone. The docs referred me for a scan and they said there was no heartbeat but to return for another a week later. Again no growth or heartbeat. I would have been 6 weeks. I had to wait another 5 days so that was 2 weeks with no bleeding but knowing I was still carrying my 'pip' as we called it. I had an ERPC yesterday which has to be the worst thing in Christmas week. The first thing I did when I woke up from the anaestethic is cry, a massive feeling of emptiness. The other half was amazing though bless him.

Well we have decided to just go back to being us. We weren't trying in the first place but I guess not using any contraception just meant it was a matter of time anyway so we are just going to carry on like that. Everyone says it will happen when its meant to but I guess secretly in my head I want it to happen asap when I wasn't even thinking of it before. I miss that feeling of being pregnant and at 39 I feel time is running out.

Can I ask when you all returned to work? My job is very physical and I feel totally unprepared at the moment.

Thankyou, even writing this down has helped xxx

Hi Dollly, welcome! Sorry you have found us under such sad circumstances, and Christmas does magnify these things, but you will find us a buoyant and supportive lot. Some people exercise but we are mostly like-minded
You sound a bit like me, I'm 37 next month and was 'not trying but not on contraception'; I got pregnant the month after having my implant removed, so missed the planning stage to a certain extent, but if recent events have proved anything it's that we really do want to give this a go now, you sound the same. I hope the overriding message anyway from us all is that, bar the odd blip, it does get better. You will also see we are obsessed with our periods arriving and take great delight in synching!
I had my erpc on the Friday and went back to work the following Friday but was hopeless, and took a few more days off the following week. Not physically unwell but mentally not in a position to function normally.
Big hugs to you, feel free to unburden when you need xx

Hold on, a physical job? Involving exercise?!

hi dolly welcome, but sorry youve found yourself with us. Me personally i took four weeks off with a weeks holiday added on, as i decided on a natural mc, so a weeks bed rest before hand, a week to miscarry and two weeks off to recover, i also have a physical job.

My story, 33 got pg (pregnant) with our first baby the month after our wedding. Started spotting at 13 weeks, same week as my dating scan, spotting turned into heavy bleeding and back ache so was booked in for a scan, where it ws discovered we had lost our baby at 8 weeks, so a missed miscarriage mmc on the 23rd sept, took me a week to naturally miscarry and 5 weeks to get my first af.

Im now on my first month of trying to conceive TTC as decided to wait three months, having to have my rubella injection, as found to be none immune whilst pg. Now waiting on my either my af or a bfp (af aunty flow, period) and (bfp big fat positive)

you,l find plenty of support on here dolly, were all at different stages ages ect but have all been through a miscarriage so can compleatly sympathize/support.

Tke care of yourself, get plenty of rest and time for yourself. Keep us updated on your progress. X

af arrived ladies, kinda knew she would, so back to it again, just waiting on my pre-seed now, hopefully it will help me out next month... Cant be doing with all the stress of this ttc lark!!! Tried the temping and gave up, couldnt see anything that stood out on them tbh, there again wasnt really sure what i was meant to be looking for.... Anyway, least i can have a tipple this xmas, eat pate,soft cheese and plenty of nuts!!! Helps me to think that way!!! X