We're taking the train...some now boarding, some delays, some still standing on the platform! TTC 'Waiters' IIT!

[bebejones]

Old thread here

Welcome aboard, make yourselves comfy I have a feeling it's going to be a bumpy ride!

Jbells sorry you are having a crap day too.

Bebe, I can't really see what difference another LO would make to you financially - it's not like you'd have extra child care costs either because you'd be staying at home I presume? Maybe birthdays and xmas but that's not a lot in the grand scheme of things!

Hot chocolate sounds like a nice idea. I've just had to say bye to DP who's off to France for 5 days for work :( Our flat feels much colder when he's not here...him being away always makes me think about TTC too, as it's really one of the big issues that governs when we could start trying. He's going to be quite possibly away a lot in 2011 at various points, and he doesn't like the idea of me having to deal with being pg while he's not around, or even worse missing out on the early days of a baby and not being able to support me. Must admit neither prospect is ideal - though I'm sure it's something that if you're with someone in the Forces, for example, you just deal with? I don't really know anyone who's in a similar predicament to ask about it all really. It's all a bit of a headf*ck to think about, as we don't know for def if/when he'll be away, how much of the time, how long for...and obvs if he is away, we can't TTC very effectively either!! Moan over.

Bebe how is your leg? Any change?

No change really in the leg Quod. Hip/Pelvis really painful :(

That is really tricky to try & figure things out & plan around events that aren't set in stone. My DH has said in the past that he obviously loved seeing DD when she was newborn & it was all lovely and pfb, but that he finds it much harder now that she is older as she is more interesting and doing more. (He said this when she was probably about 10months old not quite sure but was definitely before she was 1) He hates it when we go and visit my mum & I tell him about all the stuff she does. I guess what I'm rambling on about is in the first few months they don't do much, and therefore there isn't much to miss! I know that is no consilation & of course your DP would still hate being away from you & LO. But I hope you can work out what I'm trying to say coz I don't think I'm putting it vcery well?! (It's been a long day!)

Yes that does make sense thanks Bebe, it's really useful to have that perspective on it. It's all fairly academic as we're not really going to be able to predict when he's away - and if things go well for him career-wise then he could be away loads over the next few years and would obviously miss stuff then, so I can't really see the point in trying to plan a birth around his busy times! TBH I think we're both having a bit of a prob coming to terms with thinking about what it would be like trying to look after a little one with him coming and going all the time - I'm quite worried about being left to cope on my own a lot...but then that's me, worrying about things that haven't even happened yet!

I am a natural worrier too. I have to have plans mapped out even week by week I need to know what I'm doing & I don't 'cope' too well with the unexpected. (I'm loads better than I used to be but still have wobbles) I think with a newborn the first couple of weeks is tough, no point in lying. I was terrified after I'd had DD and the MWs left me on the ward with DD in her cot. DH & my mum went home (was late at night) and I just looked at her and thought 'SHIT!!! What do I do if she wakes up?!' I had no idea how to pick her up, how to feed her, what to do if she cried etc. But I'd say after a week you sort of get the hang of 'the basics' and by 2 weeks you start to find your feet. (Well that's how it worked for me.) After that, DD & I were fine on our own. I had my little routine with her & found my own way of doing things & passing the time. I would have been absolutely fine if the MS hadn't struck me down! I find it harder now without DH than I did when she was small. At the time (first couple of weeks, first 4 weeks of nights) it seemed so hard, but looking back, newborns are a piece of cake compared to toddlers. I would go insane if DH didn't come and 'take over' every now and then!

Oh my god - what exciting news 24 hours can bring! New jobs and pregnancy (and I thought this was the waiting to ttc thread ) seriously this has cheered me up (Im in the middle of writing reports), I love hearing about pregnancies - I dont know if its because I am about to ttc but pregnant people seem to be everywhere! My friend and I car share and she is 6 months pregnant and I felt her babies foot today - it was so lovely , although bless her she is not sleeping at all at the moment.

Better get back to the reports - I got distracted as I am about to write a one for a student who is not doing well and am having difficulty phrasing it. Good night everyone x

thecake I was waiting to ttc, and hung around on this thread anyway when we started. TBH, thought it'd take a lot longer.

nannyl, 100years and wyorkslass am excited for all of you starting next month!

jbells hope you're feeling better soon :)

quod, my DH also is away fairly often (mainly short trips though) and his job is kind of stressful and involves some long hours. We decided to ttc anyway and work around it all. The main reason being that it seemed silly to put off ttc when there is no end in sight to his job stress, but in every other way it's an ideal time. We will cope somehow and i accept that there will be times I'm left alone. He also worries because he doesn't want to be an absent dad, but I'm sure we will have our own way of making sure that doesn't happen.

I'm still super excited about the test result, but also really really tired. I knew I was unusually tired last week, but it has hit me hard today and now I can't keep my eyes open. Am off to bed early and will get Jake to bring me some of that hot chocolate :)

Thecake this used to be the waiting to ttc thread but we have all become friends and people didn't want to move on once they stopped waiting. We still welcome new people, but we're all at different stages rather than exclusively waiting.

Bebe that's lovely that your DH feels that way about DD, especially given toddlers are more of a handful. I really hope he comes round. Maybe all the childhood wonder of a family Christmas will seduce him?

Can't believe there's only 9 weeks of this long strange year left.

AC - I am SO excited about Christmas this year, DD is actually showing signs of being interested! She is obsessed with Father Christmas although not sure where it has come from

This year has been a bit odd hasn't it?!

Have you heard anything from the recruitment shark about that 'family friendly' job?

morning all!

Can't believe that the year is almost over and so many of you will be TTC very soon!! Such exciting times ahead for everybody.

AC hoping that the shark gets back to you soon - the waiting is the worst isn't it?!?

JS - Have you handed in your notice yet? Bet you can't wait!! :o

Having one of 'those' days with DD today! :( Literally had to drag her screaming from toddler group & I think I have buggered my shoulder! Is agony! Oh well, I'm already on Diclofenac for my leg so now doubt it'll help that too!

Going to make some chocolate fudge, was going to do the easy one, but didn't buy enough chocolate! Ooops!

Oh yes have you handed your notice in? I'm dreaming of the day I hand mine in.

Nothing from the shark as yet, but I sent him some additional information last night and hopefully he'll send my details across today - so fingers crossed they like me on paper!

Splashed hot fudge onto my toe! Its all burnt, very sore! When it's not your day you should just go back to bed! DD did kiss it better though! (Odd child likes feet )

Fingers crossed for you AC! Would a new job enable you to bring forward TTC?

Arghhhh - still waiting for the contract to come through. It is awaiting the HR Director's signature and I really don't want to resign without a formal contract in my hand.

Hopefully I will get it through this afternoon as BFH is out pretty much all tomorrow and so I won't be able to do it then. I'm on holibobs on Friday and Monday so unless it comes through today I won't be resigning until Tuesday of next week :(

Bebe ouch - definitely an excuse to go back to bed for the afternoon. Wish I could do that but I'm stuck here waiting........

AC good luck. This could be a lucky thread for TTC and job hunting!

Evening all.

Hope you are all OK.

Well the plumber man from the plumber company is coming around here anytime after 6pm, so I'm hoping we will then have hot water. It will be ace if he fixes it tonight as we will then be able to come home to hot water on Sunday.

We are away tomorrow for 4 days, so I will be catching up when we get back. My friend txt me today, get pg while you are away please I need some good news, I said I would do my best for her!!! My mum asked if we were trying and I said no I don't want the pressure if it takes a long time, I know she will understand if I turn around in a few months and say actually we were but I didn't want to say anything at the time!

Am so looking forward to the break away. Mmmm.

OH was talking about when we are old the other day, I want to keep him forever :o

Winge alert! Need to let this out, will reply etc when I am in a better mood!

Had an appointment letter through from the hospital today. DH will have to stay at home with DD as MIL can't have DD. He said (and I quote) 'Be prepared for them to tell you off. They won't be happy you aren't on your meds. Your MS is aggresive after all!' They know I've stopped! They told me I had to to TTC. So this basically means that he thinks I've just done it on a whim coz I don't want to take them anymore! I swear to God the man NEVER listens!

Going to go and sulk in the spa carriage with a bottle of red & George & Jake can feed me chocolates and give me a massage!

Oh dear. That's not really the response you want, is it?
OK, I hope you don't mind me interpreting his remark (say if you think I'm off the mark) but FWIW, it sounds like he's really anxious about the possibility of you relapsing? I imagine it must have been a really difficult and scary time for him too when you were ill? Maybe what he really means is that he wants to tell you off and he's not happy you're not on your meds? Because it makes him worried? Maybe his fear (whether it's rational or not) is making it difficult for him to support you in this decision, and by extension to get on to really discussing TTC?

Obviously that wouldn't excuse him being this way, because it's your body and he needs to find a way to be more supportive of your decisions. (I hope you don't take that as a criticism of him, it isn't meant as one). But I wondered if the two things (you being ill and you TTC/having another baby) are all tied up together for him in a way that they're not for you because you've separated out the two and are being more pragmatic about your MS?

Anyway, feel free to tell me if I'm way off the mark. It does sound like a strange thing to say! Hope George and Jake are being more understanding!

Quod - I think you have hit the nail on the head. He is so worried that I will relapse postnataly (sp? ) that it's the biggest sticking point he has. He always says that he couldn't cope if I did. He always just assumes that it will happen even though I have discussed with the nurses/doctors what we can do to try & reduce that risk, he was there when I did that! It isn't a given but it's like he is complete blinkered to the possibility that I might be completely fine!

I know that he does really want another baby. You only have to see him around babies or watch him when he sees one on the telly or looks at pics of DD when she was little. He just beams! I love that fact that he is so concerned about me but FFS I'm the one that has to go through it & deal with what the MS is doing to me. Actually being pregnant won't affect my MS & in fact can be beneficial. (I know that probably sounds really selfish) MS is one of those illnesses that the medical proffesion don't know that much about. But they are making massive advances in the treatment of it all the time. However there is no hiding from the fact that while I am mostly fine at the moment I may, in time, start to suffer more & move on to the progressive form of the disease. Of course, this is not guaranteed, but I can't ignore that it is one of many possibilities. I cannot in all consciousness let DD be an only child & deal with that on her own. I hated being on my own, and it was so hard for me when my dad was ill.

Don't want to bring the happy train down but this really annoyed me last night!

Will be back after breakfast in a better mood....promise! x

Right....and, breathe!!

JS - Did the contract turn up or do you have to wait until Tuesday?

100 - I know you are away now but just wanted to say, hope you have a fab time!

AC - any news from 'the shark'?

Going to do painting with DD this morning, this usually ends in a big mess & tears....from me! But it is her most favourite 'activity' & she has been quite good this week so is a treat! :o

Indeed it did! I handed in my notice last night and am feeling brilliant today :) Also assisted by the fact that today is my Friday and next week is a 4 day one too. Hurrah!!!

bebe sorry that you are having such a crappy time at the moment. Lots of ears here to listen to rants etc so moan away.

Bebe glad you sound a bit more buoyant this morning. Painting sounds a lot more fun that what I have to do this morning which is some do some really dry research and put it on a spreadsheet. Will you do my spreadsheet and I'll do your mess?!

Have you told your DH exactly how you feel? When you put it down in black and white like that the issues seem so clear. It's like he's letting your MS (or rather his fear about it) stand in the way of completing your family, whereas you see it as a fact of life but one that you can create a happy family around. It must be so frustrating for you that he's lagging behind you in coming to terms with the condition when you seem to be managing to take it in your stride - especially when really you all want the same thing! His anxieties about money and looking after you all must be adding to his fear about it - but taking your side, that is quite a small and temporary thing in comparison with bringing a sibling into the picture for the long-term, which is obviously the most important thing for you. It's really really difficult when you can't bring your perspectives into line isn't it?

In other news my DP is in the doghouse as he has taken the car key to France when he knew I needed it to drive 4 people to a weekend party to avoid the huge train fares!! Apparently there is some plan afoot to get someone to bring it back.

Congratulations JS! There's few things better in life than resigning from a job you hate, it's quite a unique feeling isn't it. Well done you - your hard work and persistence have obviously paid off.

I need some help with hard work and persistence this morning....[confused}

Yay, congratulations JS, wish i could do that!

On a positive note i get to leave work early today. On a negative one it's because i have a smear test, lovely eh?! Actually, am quite pleased with the timing, just hope the results don't take ages as would rather have them before starting TTC!

Later i will be visiting Mothercare for the first time in order to buy a colleague a present. We are having a baby shower for her tomorrow. At least it was supposed to be a shower, little 'un showed up early so we had to postpone it and will be wetting his head instead :) I fully expect to go very, very gooey.

JS - Fabby news! Bet you feel fantastic! How much longer do you have to stay? Was the BFH surprised? :o

Quod - I know the money side of things worries my DH but really it's the MS as he is worried about having to take time off which means he won't be earning. I'm really trying to stay positive, but he is being so stubborn & just can't seem to understand how I feel or see the bigger picture!
Painting was quite good, DD was also good about getting out of the bath afterwards (usually awful) but then she refused to put pull-ups back on, kicked me in the face & wee'd on the sofa! :( Toddlers!!
Can you break it down into chunks? So like work for 45mins, or to a sertain point in what you are doing, then have a 'treat'? Sometimes it's the only way I can focus if it's something I don't want to do!

WYorks - Have fun in mothercare! It can be overwhelming!!
My smear results came back in a week so hopefully yours will be quite quick too. :)

hey all just wanted to say havnt been able to say hello as my internet has been broke all day or i thought it was till i realised id pulled the plug out to put my hairdyer in (stupid icon)

bebe sorry but had ro laugh at your DD the things toddlers do they def make life interesting hehe

well wont be on here for a while as got to hand this laptop bout to work :( and will have to go searching for a cheap notebook tomoro i think, speak to u all soon

JBells - our little Netbook we have for downstairs/going away was free on a vodafone broadband contract. Think it's less than £20 a month for 2 years (not 100% sure). It worked out cheaper than just buying one on it's own & then getting a dongle for going away as well! We don't use the broadband dongle at home (got wireless) but the little Netbook is quite good, it's a Dell one. Don't know if that is any help?!