Do you deviate from list or just get what asked for?

[pinkponie]

Dd has worked out what she wants with what I roughly spend and so she has tailored her list to that 😂 I could buy her exactly what she asked for but that would leave no money for anything else; what do others do?☺️

Do you mean when you do a week's shopping?

Mine don't have a list, they just tell me the sort of things they might want and I'll get a few.

Oh shit an actual brick!!!

I didn't realise this was in 'Christmas'.

I just saw it in Active.

Sorry!! 🤦‍♀️🤣😊

I thought it would be obvious to stick to the list? Why would you not get her something she’s literally told you she wants and has carefully budgeted to make sure you can afford it, and get her something she hasn’t asked for instead?

@Blackandyellow65that’s what I did last year, just didn’t feel as exciting as there were no surprises ☺️

I hear you! Surprises can be fun. Can you set a tiny extra budget (like, $5) and challenge yourself to find something delightful secondhand? Or free up some budget by getting one of the main gifts secondhand or on deep sale.

As she has so carefully tailored it to the budget, I would buy her what is on the list.

I had family go off-piste, and to be honest, I'd have preferred what I had wanted, instead of 'surprises' (i.e. books instead of DVDs that I'd never heard of).

I would try to find the items on sale so I could afford surprises, or just have the stocking as the surprise. Or ask them, if surprises or the specific items are more important. My son would want the specific items, one of my daughters a mix and the other is more vague and says what she likes but says or something similar so she is easier.

I always tell them it's a wishlist not a shopping list though, so it's a surprise wether they get them or not!

I always get some off her list and get her some surprises that I know she will like. I then leave the messy stuff and the ones with a million pieces firmly on her list and not in the house🤣

Stick to the list if the budget is strict. Surprises can be dissapointments and a waste of money.

I have one who gives me a list and I stick to it! I might buy the odd extra thing but I do that knowing I'm breaking my own budget by choice. I don't swap out something asked for, for something I've chosen instead.
I have another one who gives me a list but doesn't mind which bits I get or if I get something completely different.
I have another who asks for something specific in April and will remember in December!
So generally stick to the list! As DD has gone to the effort of working it based off what you usually spend, and has carefully considered all the options based around this then they will really be things she does want.

Hmm, tricky one, our dd writes a list of ideas we don't talk about a budget we just tell her FC has a lot of children to buy for so he will shoes what he thinks she will love the most from it. She is only 7 though. I think I would buy it, but would maybe choose one item to tell to another family member if asked for ideas and buy one thing I just thought they'd like with the difference. I would like there to be one surprise.

I do a bit of both, I mean dd14 list is so long it would still be a surprise 😁

I ask what they would like and then decide what to buy and through in some surprises. Would never discuss specific budget with DC though.

I try and throw in a couple of surprises but none of mine are totally prescriptive about what they want and they like surprises so it works. If your DD has asked specifically for something and you don’t get that but get something else instead you risk disappointment.

How old is DD? And dose she know your budget or is it just a coincidence? If she knows then just stick to the list and next year if you want to give a surprise make allowances for that. You can check the bargain Referal threads, you may be able to save money on some things. If you post the list MN is great at finding good deals.

It’s important for me my dds get what they ask for but I’ve always made it so I can get more. They ask for 4 things, Santa dosnt bring big ticket things like phones, iPads etc.. Santa lists are done early (early September) this allows me to find and get things at good prices and spread the cost. I buy throughout the year too.

As they have gotten older they (oldest ones) understand it all comes from us and understand costs of things. I can openly say I will try but can you give me options in case we can’t afford or manage to get X.

I have a ND child and I stick to the list as she is not keen on big surprises. She also has a fairly unique taste so buying anything like clothes or jewellery without her specifying it is too dangerous.

I normally add 1-2 things I know will work, books, food items, toiletries.

I tend to have budget for their "main present" and make sure to get their input. They then tend to do a small list of other things they would really like and I pick from that what they get I never tend to get it all as alot can either be too expensive or with my youngest utter tat and things he has just added for the sake of it after his million views of the Smyths catalogue 😂and I then do them a small stocking with odds and sods, sweets etc and then its some clothes items, pjs etc. I do try to stick to a budget with each of them though but naturally one sometimes get £20-£50 more but it evens out over the years. My DD (15) has done a wish list this year so that's quite useful the only problem is she will no doubt keep adding to it now till a week before xmas 😂

I usually get what's on their list plus a couple of extra surprises but if the list takes up your whole budget I'd just get what's on the list

How old is she?
I'd get a teen or young adult child precisely what they had asked for and not presume that I knew what they would like better than they did. They don't want a surprise; they want the thing that they want that they cant' afford to buy themselves.

For a younger child, I might swap in other things as they are probably less likely to know about other things that are available.

Dd is 9.5 and seems to have worked it out despite me not telling her based off previous years as her list is almost to the pound! We spend about £350 per child (not the baby though) and her list is almost to the pound. She wants a kindle so that takes up quite a big bit of the budget, we’re definitely getting her that but if I buy the rest of it then there’s nothing left for surprises.

Feel like I have to add, they only get presents from us, dh doesn’t have parents and mine are in another country and put money into their savings account. Dh and I don’t have siblings either so it really is just what we buy.

Buy her what she wants.

Does she like surprises? There is another thread running at the minute about birthdays where the OP has gone for quantity over quality and is mystified as to why their child is being ungrateful…
If she’s asked for specific things that are up to budget then it’s time for a conversation to say “if we get these things, there’s no money for anything else, are you ok with that?” Go with her answer.
I was the child who was made to feel guilty for not being grateful for receiving things I hadn’t asked for, didn’t want and would never use while often receiving nothing I had actually asked for. I now stick religiously to any list I’m given!

Isn’t it bad we have to try and justify what we buy our own children 😪

Kindles regularly go on sale so you may get a good deal giving you room to buy an extra surprise.

DD(13) also tailors a list for me with a reasonable budget; within reason, I just buy the list, and everybody has always been happy. I find DS(15) much harder as the only ideas he'll give are 'dunno' or 'a massive Xbox voucher' - sigh.