Need to rant? Come on over.

[DontlikeChristmas]

I’ll start. We’ve just opened presents. I couldn’t give a fig about presents for myself, but I think if you’re going to spend money on a gift for someone you’d may as well make sure it’s something they will like/use. DH has panic bought me a horrible tie dye jumper two sizes too big. I’ve never worn tie dye in my life. My mother has inexplicably bought me a truly awful outfit clearly meant for a teenager (I’m 50) in a colour I never wear, also in the wrong size. DH has also managed to buy DC a load of stuff they already have because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I feel so deflated by this & think it’s all such a massive waste of money (we probably could have gone out for dinner with the cost of the presents no one is going to wear/use, or made a charity donation).

We now have DHs family coming for dinner, who are lovely people but seem to have ever changing dietary requirements (none of which are due to diagnosed conditions) that it’s impossible to keep up with, so I’ve got to make about 15 different gluten-free/oil free/non-acidic/anti-inflammatory and whatever else dishes (DH ‘doesn’t do cooking’).

I’m over Christmas & it’s not even 8.30. Anyone else?

I'm being ungrateful but I'll rant it out and then get over myself. It was tough to watch my mum open thoughtful gifts, including her new Kitchen Aid mixer while I got a selection of polyester clothes from Temu (her new favourite place to shop...for other people).

@SlashBeef Pretty sure my hideous outfit from my mother may also have come from Temu. Sending thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.

Massive sympathy for you @DontlikeChristmas and @SlashBeef

My weirdly puritan parents are here, turning off lights in rooms I am using to save money (we're ok for money), saying things like "there's no need to get the nice cheese out for us, no need to use the Christmas mugs", making me feel like I am wasteful to use the lovely Christmas things I bought specifically for Christmas...
And breathe.

Found out the reason potential love interest isn’t replying etc is because he’s actually long term relationship/married. Discovered last night. Feel like I’ll never ‘fancy’ anyone like this again

My DC is 9 and yet another Christmas where he was no interest in anything I’ve wrapped. He just isn’t interested - severe asd

Husband has presented me with a massive Christmas food hamper, we now have enough mince pies, christmas cake and chocolate to restock tesco as he has been with me when I have been buying christmas goodies over the last month. There is only me and him living at home now.
This is despite me being unable to eat sweet things as after having covid they make me nauseous and also me always moaning about my weight, going to the gym and slimming world weekly - ffs. I would have preferred shower gels.

I’ve been awake since 2 fucking a.m. Thank you menopausal insomnia 👍🏼

Am now feeling a bit sleepy but everyone else is starting to appear so I’ll have to get up too.
🥱

@Statints That’s really tough. Fellow ASD parent here with you in solidarity. Hope you can do something you enjoy today.

‘doesn’t do cooking’

And there's the tell.

You've just proved you have basically created a martyr situation for yourself.

You are in control of this. You aren't a passive victim which you seem to be making out.

Give it some thought and make some big changes in the new year.

I’ve carried all the Christmas heavy lifting and will continue to do so today, but when DH inevitably nods off at the dinner table, DM will be like “ah poor man, he’s exhausted” 😩. He fell asleep last night in front of our 85 year old neighbour, who was full of life and able to remain conscious despite being 29 years his senior. My rage!

@Madformaltesers Wanna swap your food hamper for a weird tie dye jumper?!

On a positive note, my severely autistic 7 year old who’s non verbal made an attempt at saying “Santa’s been” at 06:55 when he burst into our bedroom, he also allocated himself as gift giver-outer from under the tree and gently helped his sister open gifts, that alone made my Christmas.

They both seemed super excited about all their gifts and are now happily playing whilst myself and DP have been taking batteries out of clocks and remotes because we forgot to buy new ones.

Turkey is in the oven, I’m not as hungover as I expected and after being unwell for 3/4 days, DD4 has woken up feeling better. Thoughtful gifts from DP, he’s also happy with his.

I've been with my husband 19 years, for the last 17 years I have received a Soap & Glory gift set from his brother, for Christmas! There might have been the odd time it's been Baylis & Harding. He's been told several times that I can't use toiletries because I suffer from eczema. After year 17, I told my husband that I was sick to death of receiving the same gift year in and year out, one I can't use and a gift that's thoughtless. So we told my BIL to not buy for either of us any more, and we wouldn't them either. The gifts my husband received from his brother weren't much better than mine. The gifts we gave him and his partner, were thoughtful and we put effort in to buying something decent.

I also have a mother who has discovered temu, and I have already started a donate to charity shop bag with all the stuff she bought.

Personally I wouldn’t be pandering to people’s dietary needs. They could eat whatever they can from what I’ve made, and bring their own stuff if they need to.

Only a small rant from me, but I am now lactose intolerant thanks to IBD that was diagnosed this year. I've told my family/wider family often enough, but I've received a whole load of milk chocolate that I've now passed to the dc/dh. It's an easy thing to oversee and I've said thanks, but it sucks. It's not something I've actively chosen for myself.

There's also so much other food can't eat now. Lots of pastries this morning at my sister's house....my lovely dh is making me dairy free almond croissants when he head what was on offer. I picked a good'un.

Merry Christmas all.xxx

I've got one present to open (from my DM). The dog has got two to.open (one from DM and one from me). I'm saving the excitement for later in the day when I can't contain myself any longer.

I’ve told DH that I want one certain palm oil free chocolate bar, that’s it, nothing else. I’m dreading what else I’ll get.

That’s brilliant - you have a just given me and my DH a right laugh with your comment ! How old is your DH?

Aww so cute 🤍

Lol we do that with batteries. Forget them every year. OH actually remembered this year. I was in shock 😆

@ChronicallyMum That’s really heartwarming, thank you for sharing. What a lovely Christmas gift! As a fellow ASD parent I know how much those moments mean. Wishing you all a really lovely day.

@RedToothBrush You’re on the wrong thread.

After reading OP 1st p, I'm not surprised, it sounds dire😀

We're moving in January as our children needs an adapted property so nobody got any gifts this year.
Our son is autistic & non verbal (level 3) and doesn't understand Christmas at all so he doesn't even care (which is a bonus for me as i felt so guilty not getting him anything).
My husbands friend delivered us a food parcel yesterday as we had absolutely no money left after spending it on decorating / carpets / sen room for a turkey, nibbles etc. (I have £4.55p in my bank)
I was so so thankful I cried. Came downstairs this morning & all the mess from our Christmas eve food is still out, no veg prepped & husband sleeping on sofa, he's still asleep now.
He said he'd sort it so I had a head start today in a clean kitchen to cook xmas dinner whilst I got out little one bathed & off to sleep.
So I've washed up, put away,cleaned sides, took the rubbish out, fed & changed our son (he's almost 3) and fed the dogs.
I'm sat on the sofa whilst he's still asleep on the other one just wondering if I can be bothered to cook anything. I was so happy & thankful we got the items to even have a dinner but now....I just feel taken for granted that i will pick up what he's dropped.
Every year is the same, everything falls on me. His excuses will be he was tired, he fell asleep, he will do it in a minute etc but I just wish for once he'd do what he promised.
I hope your day improves somewhat op. Try find sometime to yourself to enjoy something you love. A bath, a glass of wine, a book etc or all 3!
Sending love. Merry Christmas xxxx

I’m being ungrateful but just pissed off that out of all the effort I’ve put in to make December and Christmas go well, my DP outsourced present buying to his mum and I’ve got two bottles of toiletries (one from each child) that I’d never have chosen myself. Just don’t see the point in buying gifts ‘from the kids’ if you don’t actually let the kids choose it - at least if you’re going to pick yourself then choose something you know I’d like. Made the mistake of saying this to DP and now he’s sulking at how ungrateful I am and now he’s been ungrateful for what I’ve got him (sports tickets!!)

Most social events my mil and sil drop out last minute due to a mystery illness.....of course they were poorly yesterday when we cooked a lovely lunch for everyone, and dropped out 20 minutes before it started so food was already cooking.

Bil still came and brought a bag of presents with him from the family, but I can see mil has held back presents for grandchildren so she can watch them open them, which is controlling and selfish behaviour.