Need to rant? Come on over.

[DontlikeChristmas]

I’ll start. We’ve just opened presents. I couldn’t give a fig about presents for myself, but I think if you’re going to spend money on a gift for someone you’d may as well make sure it’s something they will like/use. DH has panic bought me a horrible tie dye jumper two sizes too big. I’ve never worn tie dye in my life. My mother has inexplicably bought me a truly awful outfit clearly meant for a teenager (I’m 50) in a colour I never wear, also in the wrong size. DH has also managed to buy DC a load of stuff they already have because he couldn’t be bothered to check. I feel so deflated by this & think it’s all such a massive waste of money (we probably could have gone out for dinner with the cost of the presents no one is going to wear/use, or made a charity donation).

We now have DHs family coming for dinner, who are lovely people but seem to have ever changing dietary requirements (none of which are due to diagnosed conditions) that it’s impossible to keep up with, so I’ve got to make about 15 different gluten-free/oil free/non-acidic/anti-inflammatory and whatever else dishes (DH ‘doesn’t do cooking’).

I’m over Christmas & it’s not even 8.30. Anyone else?

Oh OP, your post made me laugh and it sounds exactly like the Motherland situation with the husband panic buying all kinds of shit in TK Maxx (the first Motherland Christmas episode, do not under any circumstances watch the Christmas special though!)

i hope that once Christmas is over you tease him mercilessly about this “two sizes too big tie dye jumper of randomness 😂😂😂😂”

Not a rant really but just feeling a bit sad and disappointed that Christmas has turned out so differently than what we’d planned. My best friend and her husband who live in Spain were meant to come stay with us from the 21st to 24th and then my in-laws to come today and stay the night. Friend had to cancel as her husband got that horrible flu and was too unwell to travel, then in-laws cancelled as MIL is having a bad spell of mental health and couldn’t face forcing herself to be cheery. I thought fine, it will still be nice to have Christmas with my DH and teenage DC.

Then yesterday afternoon DH came down with D&V, think possibly food poisoning, so he wasn’t able to go out for dinner with us and is still in bed today. We did stockings with him in bed but he’s too unwell to come do gifts or hang out so it’s all just a bit flat. DC and I will still cook and spend time together but it won’t be the same. Just a very quiet Christmas with all the cancellations and illness 😞

I’ve just packed my DH off to his mother’s house so he can spend a couple of hours with his sister and parents before we meet up again later to have dinner with my side of the family. Despite his parents splitting up 30 years ago (and MIL living with another man til his death a few years ago), they insist on having time just the four of them. DH invited me along but I know I’m not really wanted there so I leave them to it. I will pop in later when I pick him up but they don’t really like it and SIL has two dogs which are the centre of attention. All conversation is about them and there is usually nowhere to sit as they lay across a whole couch between them.

I sincerely hope you threw it at him.

That wasn't a present for you; it was entirely for him. And he knows it.

I'm sorry.

Quietly collect the things you bought him, find the receipts, and tell him you're returning your thoughtful gifts for something thoughtful for yourself. Hand him the thoughtless book about London when you tell him; he can read it.

While he's visiting his father, collect the expensive gifts you got him, hide them, then return them for the cash.

Perfect day. Not one present for me. Not. One. After years of just me being left out (having been very clear about not wanting presents, hating waste and being anti-consumerism), the whole adult family has veered towards not bothering with presents. The kids still get loads - too much - to unwrap, but the adults are now free of the bother.

It’s sad to see that the posts are nearly all from women who carry the emotional and domestic labour of Christmas and are nearly always over looked when it comes to thoughtful presents

@SpinningaCompass I would expect he’s wearing two of the things I bought him!

2nd Christmas separated.
This year DCs - very late teens/very early 20s - stayed at their DD (my Ex) last night.
They see him regularly - stay there a few times every fortnight at least.
He hasn't got a big social circle at all, so that coupled with the general decline in Christmas card sending, means he only has a few cards out. But there in the middle of the shelf was a a big, showy 'to the one I love at Christmas ' card. Hard to miss. There's a 'soppy' message inside but no name.

Understandably my DD (in particular) is furious.

Don't get me wrong, I genuinely hope he has someone and moves on. It may stop me feeling guilty / responsible for him. There is not one iota of jealousy or anger that he has a new partner. But for the kids to find out like that - nah, that's not ok. Knob.

More of a moan than a rant I think 🤔. DH asked for ideas for Christmas- provided some but did also think 15 years in he’d know me better. I went with my gut and got him not only thoughtful presents but needed ones (new gym shorts/trainers etc). What is the one thing DH honed in on my list? Socks. I had a 10 pack (black), three pack (white spots - absolutely hate white socks and never wear them), 5 pack of a tacky sports brand socks that I’d never be seen dead in oh and a 5 pack of trainer socks 🧦. Oh and nothing from our young DS. He’s absolutely thrilled with his presents and the present I got him from DS a thoughtful keepsake). I’m biting my tongue so as not to upset the atmosphere but I have bundled up said socks and put them on his home office desk and said we have reached that stage in our marriage where I will take his card and simply buy my own gifts. 😮‍💨

My sympathies 🫶🏼

I was over Xmas months ago. I've set the bar v low this year and that's helped.

I sorted gifts for DC, wrapped them all, ordered all the food.

I also bought myself a gift, got myself a massage a couple of days back, had a coffee with a friend yesterday, went to a lovely yoga class yesterday, did a solo dog walk and watched the sun come up this morning with a flask of coffee. I do these things for myself because I have decided that I matter and I can't rely on anyone else to do them.

Fuck it all, it will soon be over.

What a thoughtless piece of skin

So sorry about the shitty partner. What a piece of work. 🤬

I SO know that feeling regarding Christmas and severe ASD. My DD is the same! We had to bribe her to open her presents when she was small.

If it's any consolation, we have just visited DD - she is now 31 and lives in a fantastic supported living centre - and we have NEVER seen her so enthusiastic about opening presents before, ( One year she actually told us to take everything home 😥). Hopefully you don't have to wait quite so long. Hope you manage to have a lovely day! 💐💐💐🎁🎁🎁

Yes, its bullshit.

I got 7 coffee mugs, bloody hell whereveill I fit them all urghhh accidents happening soon

3 times FIL has offered me a glass of wine. 3 times I’ve said no thanks I’m driving, and 3 times he has rolled his eyes at me and called me a killjoy. Next time he offers I’m going to accept it and pour it over his head.

Where do I start!

We spend x-mas day just us (me, oh and kids). We have guests over on Boxing Day. In laws turned up uninvited at 6am today. I am not happy and wanted to send them home but the other half is letting them stay as the drive back is really long. They're pissing me off as they want a Christmas lunch and we don't serve food until 6 (dh and I both hate big lunchtime meals so do the main food at normal dinner time) and just pissing me off and being rude. I'll have to go shopping tomorrow if I cook a dinner for everyone today. They didn't bring me a gift either.

I've had no sleep because DS is ASD and has an infected thumb nail where he's been chewing so was up most of the night crying about it and wanted to stay in our bed. He snores like like a hippo too. He's only interested in watching TV so at least he's quiet right now. Other kids are fine thankfully though I can hear them getting riled up by one of the uninvited so they're going to be awful later.

Husband and I decided not to do big gifts this year as we have a big renovation coming up but did get stuff from the kids. I made sure the kids picked out some nice bits for him. He on the other hand bought me a rank tin of biscuits (I don't eat biscuits usually) and the in-laws are tucking in so even if I did like them I can't eat them.

I've come to the bedroom to cry.

We are stuck going to the in laws at midday. Its our first Christmas as a family of 3 and I KNOW baby wont understand anything yet, but it would have been nice to spend it at home for once we always go to them

MIL never asks what we want and usually buys s* gifts (although at least she thinks im a size 10 not size 14 so I guess its better than the other way round ). I have at least discovered selling on vinted during maternity leave, hmmm "new with tags" anyone?

Yes we see my parents boxing day evening, but when I suggested seeing in laws xmas eve, apparently its "not the same". I even suggested they come here for a coffee or something for a bit. Nope

They are also pretty stuffy and formal

It also clashes with the time baby is due a nap.We are having xmas dinner at home, and usually eat in the evening anyway, but feels like a huge chunk of the day will be stuck there. She also doesnt believe in heating so itll be FREEZING

Baby liked his new toy farm wanted to set it up for him but instead felt like we are dragging him away from it to see them 🙄

Grrrrrr

Well, seeing as it's a rant post.. I've got stomach issues, I have been up sitting on the sofa since 3 am. I really wanted to go and see the Silver Band playing carols in a nearby town, but not well enough. I wanted a new gut for Christmas..as for not "pandering" to peoples dietary requirements!!! There's a lot of things I can't eat, I just serve myself what I can eat.. I remember the ridiculous days of unsuitable,not fitting clothes, so stop buying presents for adults!

We bought MIL an item that she saw and liked when we were walking around a shop together. We went back specifically to get it (not a local shop) and it was not cheap. The only comment she made was about us not bothering to put batteries in before wrapping it.

I got my husband a £500 pc monitor he’s been on since the kids started to play with their presents.
I got naff all and just sitting like an idiot on the sofa.

Wouldn’t of minded but I asked to go to my parents for christmas but he wanted a quiet one as mil died 2 days after christmas last year… so just going to be ignored all day. Lovely.

I got my husband a £500 pc monitor he’s been on since the kids started to play with their presents.
I got naff all and just sitting like an idiot on the sofa.

Wouldn’t of minded but I asked to go to my parents for christmas but he wanted a quiet one as mil died 2 days after christmas last year… so just going to be ignored all day. Lovely.

I genuinely don't know how or why you put up with this shit. No one would be feeding my dog anything that would make my dog ill and if a grown man asked me to do his washing, he'd get the shortest shrift he'd ever received.