Who's had a Christmas Eve cry?

[Dozeyduck]

I just did. Feeling overwhelmed. It's all on me. Presents haven't arrived, so much to do, wrapping, food prep, husband working all over Xmas. I just want to lie on the sofa with a baileys and relax but I can't. Sending hugs to those that need it xx

Me.

24 years ago I had a very traumatic birth and was discharged when I shouldnt have been. Was blue lighted back in on 24th but they sent DD2 (5 days old) home with DH as they were short staffed and I wasnt breast feeding (couldnt due to previous surgery). Had to go through a very painful procedure alone and was left all night. Her twin had died during pregnancy, so all in all it was a fucking terrible time.

It has left me with PTSD and I have struggled with Xmas Eve ever since. One thing that helped was every year since it was released I watched a particular film with my kids, starting with DS1 and eventually all six of them.

This year eldest DD threw her weight around and decided it was being shown at her place as it was easier for her. I tried to explain that I had too much to do to be able to go out for several hours, but I could do both the film and the prep if we all did it here as usual. She threw a strop, basically said "tough then you will miss it" and that was that, the others werent bothered as they dont really get why its so important to me. DD however does know, she just doesnt care. She does have a selfish streak, and is a bit Elevenerife about being ill or busy or working hard etc.

Spent most of the day/evening on my own, doing prep. DD2 wanted to watch with us on facetime as she now lives 400 miles away, and she was hurt to find that DD1 had just done it at hers without even telling her sister and giving her a chance to join in online. DD1 is very bossy at the best of times, normally I just let it go. But this has really hurt. I can't take my mind off my trauma, its not like its just another day, the fact that it is Xmas eve means its unforgettable.

I really don’t know why people put so much pressure on themselves at Christmas. Next year, remember how you feel now, and don’t let yourself get into this position again. Say no, lower expectations. It’s literally one day, what’s the point if you can’t enjoy it either.

Me! My estranged mother showed up with gifts for my kids today. We haven’t spoken in over a year. My decision, she
had been abusive my entire life.
I didn’t cry because she came looking for a fight. I cry because of the mother I wish I had. She just came to cause trouble today! Christmas Eve… there are 365 days in the year, she comes when she knows it’s going to ruin the day. I haven’t heard anything from her in months having made it clear to never come to my home. She’s beyond selfish.

♥️

DH and I rarely argue but had a blazing one this morning over something silly that DD did last night (DD who has literally been a dream child her entire life and rarely given us a minute's worth of trouble). I was peeling potatoes through floods of tears but we've sorted it out now.

Why do we let one day become such a big deal?

I am without my children this year. They are all with their dad. I thought I’d be ok, but I’m horribly sad.

My heart goes out to everyone here enduring pain and anguish; whether it’s from bereavement, or mental health struggles, or domestic abuse, or any other troubles.

I have been crying (fairly silently) all day. My beloved oldest daughter died totally unexpectedly on 29th October. Aged 24. DH and our other children flew to Morocco on 21st to escape Christmas and we have largely succeeded. But DD and I were the Queeens of Christmas and went all out (she loved it as much as I did) and all I’ve done all day is play back in my head all our previous Christmasses. I am tormenting myself but cannot stop doing it.

I wish everyone who is hurting peace

I hope you told her to fuck off and didnt give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got to you.

Sending love x

Me! You’re not alone OP ❤️

Oh I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what you must be going through. My heart goes out to you xxx

I’m so so sorry 😔

Yes several times. STBEXH Came out in April and we're divorcing asap, turns out he'd lied from the very start of our 10 year relationship, cheated as well. 2 young kids, still living together for their sake. He's really cheery and upbeat, and I just feel like shit.

He dropped it on me that he was taking the kids 45 minutes earlier than previously arranged, simply because he wanted to. He was already taking them out 10 till 3 which I thought was quite accommodating of me given its christmas eve, and asked him not to, he had a right go at me and ruined my mood the rest of the day.

Don't think it helped that I have done 95% of the kids christmas shopping, and all of the shopping for their mutual friends.

I need this House to sell ASAP so I get away from

Had a little cry listening to Silent Night and thinking of my dad.

Me too you’re not alone x

Yep, just met DW at the hospital to take over night shift with our DD. Both had a good cry.

I feel this too. It’s so hard. Lost both my parents in the last few years and they made Christmas so wonderful and special. I’m carrying on the traditions with my own children but they’re now teenagers so it’s lost some of its magic.I found myself watching The Snowman this afternoon on my own sobbing like a baby - a mix of tiredness, grief and the feeling of being momentarily transported back to my own lovely childhood. Have had to really dig deep this evening to be jolly and I do love Christmas and we’ve had a nice evening but gosh it’s hard. Sending solidarity to those who are grieving.

Me, had a phone call from my daughters specialist asking her to come into hospital tomorrow after week's of hospital appointments and blood tests

Sending love and best wishes to all who are suffering this Christmas

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain. So so sorry. Life is so unfair.

Me. DH and I are separated but not moved out yet. He went to the pub all afternoon and missed the nice part of the day with the kids baking.

He is now half-cut watching shite on the tv and I’m sat in my bedroom wishing this whole period away so our new life can begin.

I’m so tired. It’s been 3 years of unhappiness.

DS's school choir always sing "somewhere in my memory" at the Christmas concert. You can tell whose DC are in the final year by the tissues. The passage of time can feel brutal but I guess there are worse alternatives.

So very sorry to hear that. @Ohdearsod

Yes, it’s been a devastating year for my family.

I’m so sorry for those of you who have lost people you loved :(

It’s a sad time of year. The love of my life dumped me a few days ago. I feel for all of you who’re struggling.

Me too. Hard, isn’t it? Hand hold