Who's had a Christmas Eve cry?

[Dozeyduck]

I just did. Feeling overwhelmed. It's all on me. Presents haven't arrived, so much to do, wrapping, food prep, husband working all over Xmas. I just want to lie on the sofa with a baileys and relax but I can't. Sending hugs to those that need it xx

Not yet but I'm definitely feeling melancholy. Far too many bereavements this year, good friend's mum died yesterday and MIL has terminal cancer, FIL was buried less than a month ago. Picked up DS's first prescription for antidepressants this morning. DP being stoic but he's flat which is so unlike him.
Trying to look forward to the next couple of days but it's hard to not feel fake mustering enthusiasm.

Not a Christmas Eve cry but yesterday I needed to call the MH crisis line. I am Audhd and the lack of routine and all the expectation, responsibility and socialising makes me genuinely suicidal every year no matter how much I try to simplify and streamline the process. Having to keep a smile on my face and making ‘magic’ for everyone else and managing my ND kids issues with the same problems simultaneously is actually hell on earth. One day I’m just going to tell everyone I’m going away for Christmas, hide out at home and avoid the whole shebang. I can’t wait.

Oh love. Hugs to you xxx

I lost my mum in May too, had many cries over the past few days, everything is tinged with sadness this year.

Husband ill with cancer. I tried to have a cry in the shower earlier but then sort of couldn’t be arsed- just sighed a bit and stood under the water for ages.

Handholds to all who need them x

So sorry, condolences. It won’t be an easy day for you being so raw but do your best, you will get through it somehow 🙏🏻 .
I lost my DF in October so I’m slowly coming out of it and going to try to keep distracted.

To answer the op, I haven’t cried today but I always do on Christmas Day, without fail. Hate the day, too much pressure. Love Boxing Day and New Year even more.

Me! Too much. And working all day tomorrow. 24 hour shift. Sob

Yes, came out of nowhere too. Was getting ready in the bathroom with the radio on and someone sang the latin version of Adeste Fideles. I could hear my late mum singing it next to me at Christmas Eve mass. It's been fifteen years (she died young) but it just got me.

Me. This morning. I have 2 separate cancers and the treatment for 1 of them has made me insane. Woke up today feeling huge anxiety. I'm dreading tomorrow and Boxing Day. I hate eating at the moment due to nausea.

I don't recognise myself. I'm dragging the rest of my family down. And I've realised once I"ve beaten 1 cancer, I start on the next one. Poor DP must dread asking if I'm alright.

Oh I am a cheery fucker.
Ah well... on the plus side I don't need to worry about Christmas expanding my waistline.

Me, a little one in the shower this morning, I have a DH who is great & two precious children, but I have an awful relationship with my DF, visited him two weeks ago & haven’t been able to shake the mixed emotions I have about him, I don’t want to call him tomorrow but have this awful feeling something terrible will happen to him if I don’t

Yep. Hate it and can’t wait for it to be over. 16 main courses etc to cook in the 24 hours, all the shopping and prep down to me, I only love 4 of the people and want my own parents to be here and they are gone 😢

Me.

My dad died on my birthday in November this year. His birthday is tomorrow, Christmas Day.

My grandad, who shared my birthday died on Christmas Eve, when I was 11. Somehow, the death dynamic between my birthday and Christmas seems to established.

Me. Thankfully everything is here and wrapped but I have this cold/ chest infection/ cough. DH thought I had developed a snoring issue last night, I was wide awake and it was my chest 🥴 feel awful.
Have stupidly said I’ll cook at DM’s so have to get up early, load car, cook it there. (Yes she wants me there, even ill).

DH will place DD’s presents at stupid o clock, praying DD sleeps until 8! lol Currently showered, blow dried and coughing in bed 😬

Im thinking of all of you who are grieving or unwell or who are finding life an unbearable struggle at the moment. Im so sorry that lots of us are struggling and getting overwhelmed and the pressure to find joy and festivity can feel insurmountable. It is so very hard at the moment and grief hits at the strangest moments. I had a cry earlier today and some things just feel too sad and too hard.

I can't stop crying tonight. I miss my darling mum who died last year and who always made Christmas so magical. No partner or kids. Feeling very lonely and hoping next two days pass quickly.

Me. My dad died on 18th Dec after a short time in ICU with pneumonia. My mum is away (they’re divorced) and I’m left alone to sort out all his affairs and trying (failing) to be cheery for the kids but feel like a rubbish mum as have had a short fuse

Me too. This will be the fourth Christmas since my mum died, and the year before thst her dementia had suddenly spiralled, and she had been sectioned and was in hospital on Christmas Day. When I went in to visit her, she had no idea it was Christmas. I went to the cemetery this afternoon to take her a little Rose bush and I cried my eyes out. I’m really sorry for everyone else who have lost loved ones this year - it does get a bit easier over time, but the pain doesn’t go away and comes back as sharp as ever at times like this.

I'm so very sorry. 💐

I cried because I stubbed my toe on the washing machine.
DD4 cried because there were too many bubbles in her bubble bath.

Me, when I said goodbye to DD16 at the airport this morning. She flew out to join DS19 who is living and working in the most wonderful Christmassy place at the moment. I’m so very proud of them both but I miss DS terribly and am sad to not be with them this Christmas.
But my DH is having treatment for cancer and can’t travel. He’s OK though and we have so much to be grateful for that I’m not sad, but it was a bit overwhelming at the airport and I couldn’t hold back the tears and actually felt better to have let them out briefly.

Thinking of all you lovely Mumsnetters who are having a difficult Christmas this year xx

Me, got a tummy bug which has lasted a week and had bad news re medical test I had yesterday (wish they had waited until after Christmas to ring me). Don’t feel like cooking Turkey and being cheerful tomorrow!

I’m so sorry. It’s horrible trying to find the joy in the season when there is nothing to feel joyful about. Do you have anything planned as a distraction?

No crying here, but I feel your pain. Most falls on me, I feel stressed every xmas. I don't enjoy it much. Too much to worry about and I never learn. Next year I need to flipping wrap all gifts WELL AHEAD OF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I always leave some to be wrapped xmas eve and it stresses me out. am so tired after cooking dinner and last thing I want to do is wrap gifts once I get all the kids to bed......

I feel so stupid writing this given what others are going through but I have come down with a God awful flu, haven't experienced something like this in living memory, absolutely burst, in so much pain and wanting desperately to do the Christmas Eve bits with the kids, it's probably my son's last year of believing and I can barely move. It's just disappointing, I'll be unlikely to be well enough to make it to family tomorrow and it just takes the edge off for my children and I have massive guilt but this just doesn't feel like an ordinary cold at all, I am really unwell. But safe, warm house, Christmas dinner to be had for my family, gifts to give and this will pass, you just need a wee moment sometimes

I'm so sorry to hear that, that's really awful.
Puts all our silly worries into prospective.