Irritated by parents already😩

[Bellyblueboy]

I am an awful person. My parents are staying for Christmas - only arrived today - and I am already irritated.

The constant passive aggressive questions - the long, boring stories about people I don’t know - the complete lack of interest in my life

All my Electrical appliances have been unplugged so the remote controls no longer work. I will have to crawl under the Christmas trees now to turn them back on (don’t know how my dad managed to get under there, he is 80!).

the TV is up so loud I can’t think. They brought the contents of their fridge with them - I had to put most of it in the bin!

my mum keeps asking me are we having (fill in some obscure food item she never mentioned before) then looking disappointed when I say I didn’t know she wanted it. I went to Tesco to try and find Turkish delight with no chocolate because apparently it just isn’t Christmas without it.

i am already so irritated I could scream. They are elderly. They can’t help it. But in fairness they have always been a bit annoying, they have just lost their filter.

I am trying to find it funny. But failing. Every time I move my dad asks me what I am doing. Where I am going. Aggghhhh

Good to see you back, OP. Merry Christmas!

DD is working abroad and is home for 3 weeks. I love her, I've missed her, it's wonderful to have her home - she lights up a room! But we do irritate each other sometimes and I'm quite happy for her to go to her boyfriend's for a couple of days so I can miss her again.

Are you my sibling??

I came here to say exactly that!

Absolutely unnecessary comment. What is wrong with people on this negative pious thread. It was lighthearted, just an opportunity to have a little vent. It never amazes me How many people on mumsnet are humourless and utterly sanctimonious. The people who in real life are offended by everything.

My dm will be coming to my house for Christmas, she is in her 80s and from a generation who think they can speak the their adult children as though they are still 10. It's irritating because there's never anything nice or positive said and most likely for those of us with parents like this has been for a lifetime. I love my dm but sometimes find it hard to be around her. It isn't just me, my own kids find it hard too. It doesn't mean we won't be very sad once she's gone but in the moment it's hard and draining. The arseholes saying just don't invite them, get a grip. This is the complexity of family relationships where we don't go "no contact" for the slightest thing. Relationships are difficult and you don't just walk away if it's a bit tricky. Instead, you vent but apparently that isn't allowed either.

OMG what is it with the plugs thing?? I’ve just been trying to use my parents toaster and it was turned off at the wall! Mine are also driving me mad, so many questions, all the fucking questions and then the same ones over and over again.

Get pissed! Only answer for it!

I wouldn’t, and I don’t.

Why people make it their business to guilt trip others who may not have been as fortunate as themselves in their parental relationships, I can’t imagine.

But they do. Every year.

PIL go away every year but we do summer holidays together. FIL cannot bear the washing machine/dishwasher not being immediately unloaded. He’ll seek you out and say ‘the machine has beeped!’ I know FIL- it works for me not the other way around, We’ll unload it when we’re ready!

They also like to keep their DGC up extremely late, particularly loving it when the toddler gets sleepy and snuggly crashes out on their laps. Which is fine on holiday if they didn’t also expect perfect behaviour the next day and deride us that DH apparently never had a ‘tantrum’ because he was parented so firmly 🙄

They are on the whole wonderful- I start to notice these things by day 4 or 5 😅

Mine are lovely but a few days in each other’s company all the time does get testing!

My completely unreasonable frustration at this time of year is the “I don’t mind,” and then I have to be a mind reader in case I guess wrong, and they end up sitting mournfully poking at whatever they’ve been given.

”what would you like for breakfast? There’s toast, weetabix or porridge?”

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother, I don’t mind.”

“Well - there’s toast, weetabix or porridge, mum, which of those do you want??”

This. It’s Christmas Eve. A glass of champagne with a dash of orange juice before 9 am is totally acceptable.

I feel your pain also.

I get on really well with my parents, but I don’t enjoy them coming to stay as my house it tiny. So I feel your pain. I much prefer going to them! They bring so much stuff with them, it takes over the house.

Our oldies are all gone. FIL was the last one to vanish. An amiable, kindly man with a huge supply of dad jokes, he could still drive you absolutely crackers as a guest. This is the first Christmas without him, and of course I wish he were still here. But will I miss him commandeering the remote, making us listen to terrible music at top volume, constantly bringing round unwanted charity shop finds and helpfully sweeping my painstakingly fresh chopped herbs into the bin? Possibly not. And no doubt he'd have had a list of unwanted guest behaviour he put up with from me, back in the day. I know MIL certainly did. I mean, sometimes I tried to leave their house without telling them where I was going and why.

Love this!!!!!

Laugh, Op.
Ask which Christmas Carols they'd like to listen to.
Ask them to retell their favourite jokes.
Ask them questions about their first school etc.
Buy some peas and ask parents to pod them.

They are them.

OP, and everyone who’s entertaining, I think you’re all saints!
It’d drive me insane. I struggled when I was 20 to be a guest at Christmas with all the goings on, I’m going with the ‘peace on earth’ option again this year.

Because they are her parents. Hope that cleared that up for you.

I came here to recommend the same thing. I imagine there’s lots of people watching it for the same reason.
We can love our parents and be grateful we have them but also feel annoyed by them.
No judgement from me @Bellyblueboy ❤️

Why on earth are they unplugging things?

Aaaaannnnnnddd unclench those butt cheeks…..! Come on, have a smile. You can do it! It’s Christmas Eve!

I’m awaiting cupboard doors to be left open, coffee all over the draining board and jam dropped accidentally again! The DCs are now old enough to appreciate the quirks and roll their eyes, clean up after my dad

Sending solidarity Op.
Make sure you take regular breaks, maybe go for a walk around the block.
The electrical appliances bit made me lol 😂

Don’t be annoying as you get older then!

I think many of us can relate, @Bellyblueboy. It is more than possible to love one’s parents yet still find certain traits amusing/irritating. I only have my mother now and love her to bits but have to bite my tongue regularly. It is me who has subtitles and needs the television a lot louder than she does because she has amazing hearing l am very hard of hearing. Still, this can be a blessing at times as when she comes to stay, the television always seems to be tuned to her programmes - every quiz and competition going. I watch Countdown and enjoy the occasional Bargain Hunt but when it comes to I’m a Celebrity - I’m definitely out of here!

@Bellyblueboy a lot of what you say resonates with me, especially the judgement of looks. My mum thought I was too fat as a teenager (I wasn't) and it took me a long time to understand that she saw me as an extension of her, that she perceived anything about me to be reflected on her. She had a bad accident earlier this year and this brought us closer after a very strained few years; she said quite early on that she had finally understood that I am a different person to her!! She genuinely hadn't understood why I didn't respond to things exactly as she would, always look immaculate and be thin etc.
I know I annoy my DCs but I also know they love me, and that sounds the same with you and your parents.

Another thing-tell your parents about the subtitles button on the tv remote! Or wear noise cancelling headphones and tell them you’re listening to a podcast!