Irritated by parents already😩

[Bellyblueboy]

I am an awful person. My parents are staying for Christmas - only arrived today - and I am already irritated.

The constant passive aggressive questions - the long, boring stories about people I don’t know - the complete lack of interest in my life

All my Electrical appliances have been unplugged so the remote controls no longer work. I will have to crawl under the Christmas trees now to turn them back on (don’t know how my dad managed to get under there, he is 80!).

the TV is up so loud I can’t think. They brought the contents of their fridge with them - I had to put most of it in the bin!

my mum keeps asking me are we having (fill in some obscure food item she never mentioned before) then looking disappointed when I say I didn’t know she wanted it. I went to Tesco to try and find Turkish delight with no chocolate because apparently it just isn’t Christmas without it.

i am already so irritated I could scream. They are elderly. They can’t help it. But in fairness they have always been a bit annoying, they have just lost their filter.

I am trying to find it funny. But failing. Every time I move my dad asks me what I am doing. Where I am going. Aggghhhh

🤣He must be very nimble, send him back under the tree to pop plugs back in lol

Other posters- calm down, you are draining the life out of mn.

My beloved Dad who I adored died 5 years ago and I can still remember how completely mad he drove me at times! Love and irritation aren’t mutually exclusive (I love my children but frequently find them irritating!).

OP - I suggest inventing a lower back pain that means you need to go for a couple of long walks a day. Take a coffee and a book and get some peace and quiet on a bench!

God there are some sanctimonious twats on this post. I can only assume they recognised a bit of themselves in the OP’s description and rather than thinking they should apologise to their own kids, they thought they’d double down and give the OP a good telling off (either that or their kids are NC so they’re on their own and probably don’t even realise why). Does it make you feel good about yourself to give a woman a kicking when she’s come on here for an anonymous rant that will stop her from saying anything directly to her parents and keep the peace?

You have my sympathies OP, that all sounds really frustrating. Hopefully not too much longer and they’ll be heading home. MN is a funny place - people on here get VERY irate if you say anything about an older person - they seem to take it as a personal afront, or tell you how ageist you’re being because you mentioned their age when describing them, etc. I can only assume the average user age on this site is towards the higher end so you’re hitting a nerve!

I love my mum but the ‘where are you going?’ Thing every time I move does me in. She also asks ‘where’s [insert cat’s name]?’ constantly as if I am mystic Meg!!!

Maybe because she loves them and wants to see them? Maybe because over the year you forget about all those little things that irritate you and only remember when they start doing them again?

There was nothing wrong with her replies to the nasty comments she got. I thought she was quite restrained. I’d have told some of them to go play on the motorway with their attitude. Her tone is more stressed in my opinion.

OMG mine is the same.

• Detailed anecdotes about people I don’t know.

Constant moaning about minor health issues (blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol) but not allowed to remind him of shit diet, smoking & drinking.

Loud TV.

Random unpluggings.

Watering plants, even the ones that don’t need it.

The ordering around while being stuck to the sofa. I swear the sofa has moulded a shape round his butt.

“Is there any…?” on repeat.

Telling kids to shush cos he’s catching something “important” on the TV, usually a news item since we have to have the news on repeat.

How joyous.
Can’t wait until I don’t have to do this any more. He’s a miserable arshole who gave me a shit childhood, so that day can’t come soon enough!

Why isn’t my phone charged? Because I left it overnight in the living room to charge and MIL has unplugged everything. PIL are obsessed with unplugging things. Want to use the microwave? - you’ll need to contort your hand round the back of it to plug it in. They even come into the bedroom (guest room at their house) to unplug my hairdryer. We live abroad so it’s always a visit of several days. I love them but they drive me nuts (it’s not just the plug thing but this resonates with OP).

At least you’ll be safe from those pesky festive power surges.

Please come back OP, I'm wanting examples of the passive-aggressive questions.

Where were you on the night of the thirteenth?

Why are you wearing gumboots?

Who's the king of the castle?

Every fire service in the country will advise unplugging stuff, it's much safer.

OP, don't worry, the years will fly by and you'll soon be at an age when your adult children will come and stay. They may drive you mad, it doesn't just work one way.

Re the plug things, I'm surprised people are so ignorant of the dangers.

https://www.dwfire.org.uk/safety/safety-at-home/unplug-to-unwind/

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c17x82z04pzo

I feel your pain. As you said they're elderly and it's the way they are. I hate it when my PILs are at mine, but they don't have long left/don't know how long they have left and I prefer to be nice to them than fob them off because they're old and annoying.

We're all going to get that way one day and our children are going to feel the same way about us as we do right now with our parents. Everything will be okay. 🎄 Merry Christmas 🎁!

Oh for god's sake..yes, she knows, we all know that. This is a light hearted, solidarity thread about those very real irritants. It doesn't mean she doesn't love them or won't be crushed when they are no longer here. Do you really think you've said something that hadn't occured to her?

Oof! “Actually MIL I live with one of yours and tbh he could do with a lot of improvements, no doubt due to the tv he was allowed to watch…!” 🤣

I definitely recognise the donated bits of old food falling out of the fridge! My mum bought one piece of reduced to clear cake in a big white box for us all to cut up into tiny pieces and use a round of plates for. I know that it is a nice thing but the fridge was chocka.

I know there will be an expectation that the DC will entertain their grandparents as they might have done when they were three years old. And criticism of their screen time (even though my parents will sit there on iPads all day).

I think I would prefer the stereotypical aged aunt who sits in a chair watching TV and we just top her up with drinks all day. It’s harder when your guests impose their own house rules, even if they are your parents.

Oh, do pipe down. Having a justifiable moan about a situation many of us can relate to is hardly 'crossing a line'.

OP isn't suggesting patricide.

Waitrose have the Turkish delight with out chocolate.nice big box about £3 now reduced

What is with the long winded stories about people I don't know? I don't even know that much information about my own friends. Why do I want to know about the cousin of someone my sister went to primary with in 1982?

Mine are absolutely lovely cant complain but my dad’s humming is maddening. He’s quite deaf so it’s louder than he realises. Drives DH mad. The other foible is the Strictly worship. Watched it with them the other day to be polite god it’s shit. Filler tv with lots of plastic surgery people yelling and weeping. Yet my parents who I usually agree with treat it like a religion.

The comments about elderly parents asking where everyone is going any time anyone moves 😄 my mum used to do that, plus tell everyone when she was going to toilet 😄 She said her own mum did it, and it was a "war generation" thing...they never knew when the sirens would go off, so wanted to know where family members were at all times 🥹

FWIW OP your most made me smile and my parents are long gone. You’re allowed to find family annoying!

How on earth does it cross the line? It doesn't. If it did, Mumsnet would delete it for breaking posting guidelines.

OP just wanted a bit of solidarity and support which is what Mumsnet should be here for. Instead, all the sanctimonious guilt tripping twats piles on with all their 'you're a horrible ungrateful daughter and you'll be sorry when they're dead' posts

@Pinepeak2434 then take heed. Don't be self obsessed think about your hosts take an interest in them ask about how they are.
Don't turn lights off or leave stuff everywhere be a good guest.
Give your host time to themselves and also if the host is your own son...make sure you talk to your own son and if he is hiding go and seek him out.

My parents are no longer here and I would give anything to have them here for a Christmas visit.

However, I would probably be sending them back after a day as they'd be driving me mad...