Grandparents going on holiday over Christmas

[Raspberryberet67]

I’d appreciate thoughts on grandparents going on holiday when grandchildren are young. We’re second marriage- grandchildren on my husband’s side, primary school and nursery age. Son-in-law not impressed that we’re away this Christmas. In past years it’s been difficult to see them due to elderly parents. Are we bad grandparents??

This 100%

Of course you are not being selfish , you have a right to go on holiday whenever you want

Why on earth should they arrange their holidays around her son in-laws Christmas plans?

I think someone is difficult in this situationship op..your son in law? I would go on this trip and then revisit plans for next year in the summer or early fall specifically with whoever it is who is making the decisions. If this is second marrriage and this is DH family he needs to be present for the chat.

I think it’s very very unfair to tell anyone it’s not their year. DGD love equally and enjoy seeing both sets of DGP on Christmas. That’s an adult talking again…son in law?

enjoy your trip…dress up drink a lovely cocktail made by someone else and eat something lush and special while enjoying each other.

Merry Christmas 🎄

We weren’t invited this year and didn’t know it was our “turn” but frankly, now it’s Christmas Eve I’m done with the whole thing! Thanks for your comments and enjoy your Christmas celebrations

Because it's wonderful to spend Christmas with family, especially when the children are at the age to get really excited.

He sounds intolerable

Oh dear. It looks like your not so DSIL believes that simply because he's made plans in his head all of the supporting cast must know when to enter and exit his performance - without even having the manners to invite you. Screw him. It's time this pompous asshole learnt the earth does not revolve around him. If he wanted you there this Christmas he should have 'used his words'. What a pity he has got to his age without learning that.

Absolutely do not carry any guilt for this!! I’d choose a beach anytime. Also wish my MIL had decided to go on holiday then she wouldn’t be on her way here for three nights 😭

If I were you I’d go away every Christmas. I’ve probably spent more Christmas days abroad than at home since I was an adult. It’s great. I much prefer it compared with staying at home and feeling obliged to do all the extended family nonsense.

Op this is shit for you…go on your holiday and enjoy it !

they can’t have it every which way… sounds like you are better off out of the drama

I'd feel liberated!

I would have had no problem at all if my parents had decided to go away for Christmas when my DS was young. It’s one day - presents and visits can take place on another day.

Same! My parents have been pretty miserable about Christmas as long as I can remember. About 8pm every 25th of December my dad announces they should go on holiday for Christmas next year. They never do. They really should try it!

Lol. I had a hilarious convo with my eldest.
Her" we are taking it in turns, so middle daughter is with you this year, we are doing next year"
Me "the moment I am free from 30 years of having my mother every feckin year, we are going to somewhere hot and sunny and just us"

No issue whatsoever - I’d love either of my parents to go away for Christmas if that’s what they wanted. My children are 1 and 4 fwiw.

Yes, but clearly that doesn’t matter so I don’t know what you want from us validation ? Why do you care?

My sister in law by marriage. She dictated when the inlaws would be with them, we had to have them when it didn't suit her and my parents had to fit in with it all. Awful.
Have a lovely time OP

Enjoy your holiday

I’ve just been trimming enough Brussels Sprouts for 11. DH reminded me that I had suggested a cruise for Christmas next year. Seems like a better idea every day.

Thanks to each and every one of you for your comments. We don’t feel like we’re bad people now 😄 Hope you all had a fabulous Christmas

Nah go on holiday op, enjoy. Leave your son in law to sort out his own kids.

I know this is an old thread but is came up as a suggestion for me. How odd are the grown adults that would be annoyed that their parents are going away at Christmas? I actually am really struggling to understand why anyone thinks that their parents owe them access to them at all times even as an adult! My adult daughter was really annoyed last year that I didn’t remind her we were going on holiday! She claims I never told her. I did but I’m an adult and really feel I should be able to come and go as I please! It wasn’t during any special occasions either 🙈😂 there’s a generation of young adults that set boundaries for themselves but want their parents to be at their complete mercy at their own time, expense and well being. No thank you, I’m thinking of emigrating!

Your feelings are your feelings.You are correct your DD doesn’t have the right to your time, However you can’t then complain that your DD doesn’t make an effort with you in the future.
It’s not odd to be surprised that your parent choose to go away over Christmas! You would assume most people would want to spend Christmas as a family …. If you don’t feel this way then there is obviously something lacking in your relationship with your children. Just remember that you chose to go away over Christmas and miss out when you are elderly and alone on Xmas day! If you can’t be bothered to be involved now you can be upset about being left out later

@HappyMummaOfOne You would assume most people would want to spend Christmas as a family …. If you don’t feel this way then there is obviously something lacking in your relationship with your children

Well that’s a massive leap. Christmas isn’t one day, it’s more than that. If my parents or children want to spend time away all I would say is have a great time and send me photos, I don’t know why anyone would have any other reaction? It’s not tit-for-tat, because you went on holiday last year I’m not going to see you this year, is it? As adults, I think we can expect people to behave like adults.