You can ban one thing from Christmas for everyone forever

[iCod]

What is it going to be?
Mine would be the phrase "picky bits"
you're not cute, it's shit.

Picky bits = bowls of scabs and dandruff so should clearly be subject to a perma-ban.

Christmas itself - plastic crap. This would include: elf on shelf, ‘novelty’ gifts that no one wants and scream ‘I didn’t know what else to get’ and stuff that people have been social-media influenced into getting, and none reusable decorations, tableware etc.

This proper made me lol

I almost added “annoys me just as much when I’m in taper for a race and people ask the same bloody question!”

Gary Glitter on the Christmas CDs of my childhood. And still appearing in Spotify playlists.

Oh, and the all staff Christmas party!

Was in a shop yesterday and I see the Elf on the shelf has biscuits! I think it’s Cadbury makes them? Such pure and other commercialism.

oh god only one?!

The elf
advent and Christmas Eve boxes
Christmas matching pyjamas
bread sauce
sprouts (I actually like them but Jesus the farts)
Mrs Browns Boys
Christmas trees up in early November and then down on Boxing Day

I would also remove the pressure and guilt that I experience every single year trying to find gifts for ppl... Sigh. Ever since I was a kid. I don't want to not give gifts, just not have the emotional baggage and instead feel lovely. And also find actual good things among the absolute tosh that's everywhere.

Overcomplicated mince pies. Mincemeat. Shortcrust pastry. In a foil cup, one of six in a box. That's all that's required. Keep your Limoncello, your gingerbread frangipani and even your puff pastry to yourself. Thank you.

The descriptors 'posh' or 'fancy' - invariably used to describe things that are neither.

Illness, not allowed. It can just F off.

Can I have a few?

Christmas pudding, bleurgh.

Tacky decorations especially "Santa Stop Here" signage and giant inflatable cartoon characters.

The Elf. Has never been allowed to cross the threshold but I'm sick of hearing about him anyway.

Enforced workplace jollity (including secret santa though haven't had to do that since before covid).

Wrapping stocking presents. Why did i start?

There is currently a thread about a family member winning £50k (thousands not £50 on a scratch card from a cracker. Huge and acrimonious discussion, must they share it?
Too late for the OP of that thread, but rules to be sorted in advance were suggested, e.g. keep winnings £99 or under, share if over.

No trees until December

Oh and definitely elf on the shelf. Waste of time

Cranberry sauce 🤢

My brother in law. And mistletoe. Especially if they're both under the same roof.

Mrs Brown's Boys

and not just for Christmas

The “he’s been!” social media posts on Christmas Eve annoy me. It’s just to show off. No one cares.

I agree with “picky bits”. But that should be banned for all of the year, not just Christmas. I hate the word “picky”.

Christmas Eve boxes.

Elf on the shelf
.
Hot chocolate stations. Although I haven’t seen much mention of them this year anywhere. Are they fizzling out?! 🤞🤞

I would ban two things.

Christmas decorations up before 18th December.

People who make not having a traditional Christmas dinner their entire personality. They are increasing in number and I want them gone. Eat what you like but no, Chelsea, you aren’t more fascinating because you order a pizza on Christmas Day so don’t bore on about it please.

Gifts full stop, unless you found something you knew the other person would really love! I think it just takes the magic away to be going 'what am I going to get auntie xx'

We get an annual Round Robin which is written by the family dog. He's obviously much cleverer than our dog.

Christmas cards: there seem to be a lot fewer this year, postage cost I guess. I hate them and only send e-cards.
When DH was head of a big school, he used to come home with ridiculous numbers of cards, one from every obscure outpost of the county council. Such a waste of time and money.

Mine would be unkind/downright cruel (and ageist) comments about MILs

Matching family pyjamas. Quite cute on little kids, but entire families? No.

Blue flashing fairy lights outside people's houses.

I rest my case.