You can ban one thing from Christmas for everyone forever

[iCod]

What is it going to be?
Mine would be the phrase "picky bits"
you're not cute, it's shit.

Turkey as the main meal. The cruelty is dreadful.

An average of 14 million farmed turkeys are killed each year in the UK and, although it seems to be an incredulous number, an astonishing 10 million of these turkeys will be killed just to fulfil the idea of a traditional Christmas dinner. Turkeys are incredibly sociable and can form tight, life-long bonds. Within these friendships, they love to blether with one another. So much so that it is believed wild turkeys have 28 different calls to communicate, which include purrs, clucks and little yelps – they don’t just gobble!In the wild, turkeys will live in complex communities of up to 100 – called rafters – and they are able to recognise and remember each other by their voices.Additionally, mothers will begin communicating to their babies – known as poults – whilst they are still within the egg.

All the boxes and boxes of cheap shit chocolate everywhere.

I don't mind people who like to (and are able to) buy everything in good and early... but it's the little passive aggressive comments that annoy me.

There was a thread several days ago - so over a week before Christnas - asking if there was anybody who still hadn't done all of their Christmas shopping yet.

Often people are waiting for payday, or are still at work, or are juggling dozens of things in their lives. It isn't any kind of failure to be shopping and preparing for an annual event several days before that event begins.

Christmas cards and transactional gift giving.

Nooooo! You can’t ban Noddy Holder/Slade, you’ll be bad mouthing Wizzard next, both important contributors to 1980’s Christmas discos.

Using Christmas as an excuse for tacky, flashing carnival rides popping up on various parks/ pieces of land around the city. Loud/ crushingly expensive & bound to have DC shouting 'Can we goooooo?' as soon as they see it/ get wind of it. In. The. Bin.

I would ban all the schmaltzy Christmas songs.
I love the carols, many of which are beautiful & profound - it's just the sentimental little ditties I loathe

Flashing lights. There is no need whatsoever.

I agree flashing lights outside are just unnecessary.
I walk past a house on my way to work at 4.45am and it has blue and red flashing lights , I thought it was a emergency response vehicle from a distance.
If people insist on having flashing lights at least turn the buggers off at night.

I sympathise as I too am large of bonce.

I think, if we are going to have them, the gifts inside (and the jokes) should be of a minimum standard of quality and not something designed for you to just pick up and put straight in the bin the instant that it falls out. Ideally something of some perceivable use - like a little tool kit, torch, set of emery boards, a proper (strong) normal-sized comb or similar.

Otherwise it just makes it like a pointless secret Santa where nobody taking part knows anybody else and you're only allowed to spend a maximum of 3p.

I buy the DIY kits now and fill with a scratch card and a couple of chocolates. I hate the shit store brought crackers come with 😅

The elf on the shelf shite

Turkey! All the poor birds raised intensively to be slaughtered for Thanksgiving and Christmas makes me really sad.

The hideous ‘XMAS’ Kylie Minogue song…….Must have taken all of 5 minutes to write.

Abusive ex-husbands/partners, so that all us single mums can look forward to, and then properly enjoy, Christmas with our kids, knowing that the only grinch we'll see will be green and on the telly...

Alcohol. It’s bloody evil stuff.

Flashing outdoor lights. Preferably all of them, but blue ones especially.

My daughter has seizures, so going out after dark this time of year is not fun. The twinkly/slow fade ones are fine but the full on flashing ones are a nightmare for her.

I have a heart attack every time I come home and see the reflection of my neighbour’s blue lights flashing on the side of my house.

Excellent solution! I'll have to try that next year!

This. Although to be honest, I would prefer to hear nothing about it before 1 December. But definitely not in sodding OCTOBER!

cunting elf on the bastarding shelf

the phrase “are you all ready for Christmas?”

I feel like every person I meet greets me with this!!

It’s the stupidest most pointless question ever.

Just people asking ‘Are you all ready for Christmas?’ like you’re tapering for an ultramarathon, or holding a particularly fraught international peace summit.

X-post! Yes!

Getting my husband to stop wishing me a merry 'Kiss-me-arse' on the day! He says it every single year - it wasn't very funny the first time, but some years down the line it makes me cringe!

Turkey