Cant afford to get my parents a gift for Christmas

[hl8]

I have an 8yo daughter and have brought her quite allot of presents this year. Moneys been really tight but still managed to get her pretty much everything she wanted, but that meant I ran out of money and I don’t get paid again until Boxing Day. I feel like maybe I shouldn’t have brought her so much and feeling really guilty that I can’t buy my parents a gift.

Is anyone else in the same situation where they can’t buy someone they love a gift this year?

I would much rather my grandchild had a fabulous Christmas than a present for myself (token or expensive!). £200 isn't an excessive amount to spend on presents for a child these days. Hope you and your parents have a great time knowing the youngster is happy.

I’ve been in the situation where I can’t afford to buy a present for someone I love. It’s never been because I’ve spent £200 on someone else, though.

If you have £20 and are due to be paid on Boxing Day, could you not even manage to get a small box of chocolates or something?

please just be thankful that you can be together at Christmas. Presents don’t matter. Saying as one who’s father is in ICU. x

If money was tight, like it is for you, my mum would be upset with me if I prioritised buying her a gift over the DC. My mum is all for Christmas being magical for children and there’s nothing she’d want enough that she’d want prioritising over a gift for the kids. In fact, even though I am not struggling, when I asked what she wanted, she said buy the kids an extra gift with the budget you have for me.

if you have £20 until pay day for emergencies, why don’t you wait until Xmas eve, and if you still have that £20 available, buy them a small gift each from your DD, knowing you’re with them on Xmas Day and won’t spend any money, and then get paid Boxing Day?

I hope your DD has a lovely Christmas and loves everything you’ve managed to buy her xx

You have had 11 months and what 3 weeks, could have nipped in b&m and picked up a candle or something in june.

You need to learn to budget better. Just £25 less on your daughter could have bought them a box of hotel chocolat chocolates, and bottle of wine. They're hosting you, it would have been nice to buy them a gift. To bring nothing is a little rude and disrespectful. You still could buy those things from your grocery shop on your credit card.

What the actual hell is going on on this thread????? My mother and father would rather I made their grandchild’s Christmas than got anything for them!! I would rather have nothing myself and know my grandchild had an amazing Christmas and not have guilt on my children for getting me nothing. Just say - mam, I went mad on daughter and I’ll take you for lunch in the new year.
please don’t feel bad x Christmas is for children .

Christmas is about kids. Your parents will be happy to just spend time with you both I'm sure.

You've prioritised spending £200 on a child. It's down to you for not holding something back for your parents. Nothing to do with money, just your priority, own it

Just buy a nice plant or some flowers, a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates. I’d feel so uncomfortable turning up to my mum and dads with nothing for them. It’s embarrassing and thoughtless - sorry!

so I’d get your thinking cap on. You will not be paid on Boxing Day - you’ll be paid on Xmas Eve because salaries don’t hit your account on a bank holiday as a general rule (although I’m sure you’ll now say yours definitely does!)

Just get a little something regardless

What do you mean 'can I ask why' if you have an overdraft facility or credit card?
Because it would be a good solution in your predicament.🤷‍♀️

I think something homemade from your daughter, like a nice drawing as suggested and a bunch of flowers / Poinsettia plant as a thankyou for them hosting you is fine if money is tight.

Another idea that won’t cost anything now would be putting together a slideshow of photos from this year to show them in Xmas day, then in January get it made into a photo book?

The adults in my family don’t buy for each other.

But it’s a bit short notice to make that rule now.

I think I would like and say you ordered something online but it’s not come.

If you’ve got £20 then I’d probably buy a token box of biscuits or something just so they have something to unwrap.

This100%
Just be completely straight with your parents they’re adults and they will understand. Maybe they didn’t always have easy to afford christmases when you were a kid and they have had to prioritise the kids before.
Loads of adults do this and they do not care about their own presents. They just want their kids to have a nice time. Your daughter just wants all the adults around her to be happy and relaxed with her and having fun with her at Christmas time, much more than anything (including what’s on her list). I’m sure you’ll have a lovely day together.

Just make sure you insist on washing up.

Excellent point about the helping on the day

Whilst I'm a firm believer that Christmas is mainly for kids, and I'm sure most of us would prefer the OP spent her money on her child.

I think what might be getting people's backs up, is the OP claiming she can't afford to buy them a gift when she could but simply chose not to.

And then goes on to ask for stories from others who 'can't afford to buy a gift for a loved one this year'.

It's a bit of a kick in the teeth for those who genuinely can't.

No. I always buy a gift for each of our parents/step parents. They do so much for us. Even a small token gift would be better than nothing. I’ve never known a child to get everything on their list.

Boxing Day is a bank holiday. You will be paid before then.

Having an adult child and my grandchild with me for Christmas Day would be a gift in itself. OP I’m sure your parents will have an understanding that your finances are tight and not expect or want you to buy them anything. Their focus will be your daughter, their granddaughter.

Having said that I think the suggestion of an iou/home made voucher for a simple meal together would deal with your discomfort and please them. They’d not fret that you had over stretched yourself. The meal could be at home, prepared with the help of your daughter, or something at a cafe or restaurant. Either is a way of thanking them for hosting you at Christmas and also giving a treat.

Of course get your daughter to make them a card and perhaps draw or paint something for them. Those things can mean a lot more than something bought that is not really wanted or needed, I have a box full of things made by our grandchildren when they were young that I’ll never part with.

You’ve had many different responses here. Whatever you choose to do please don’t let this dilemma spoil your enjoyment of Christmas and seeing your daughter light up as she sees her gifts.

Bake some gingerbread or cookies with your dd for your parents.
Gift them a voucher for afternoon tea/dinner/coffee and cake at yours in the NY.
There are lots of things you can bake or make for your parents. I'm sure they'll understand and appreciate a token gift you and your dd have made together.

It's good to teach your dd to be resourceful.

I'm sure she would be happy to make her grandparents something, kids usually love making and giving presents.

OP I think your getting a rougher ride here , it sounds like your a single parent, your parents will understand, say you will take them out for lunch Boxing Day or during the new year as a thank you and Christmas present… we all want to make Christmas special for our children..

My parents would rather I spent the money on my son. If I was in your position, they would not want anything. They'd be especially mad if I was broke and spent my last pennies on a present for them.

£200 is a lot to spend on a child if you are low income (even if you aren’t it’s a lot) keeping £20 back would solve the issue, nex year

Holding back a tenner to spend on a token gift for her parents who are hosting Christmas was hardly going to result in her daughter not having presents, don’t be so dramatic.

You can’t show up to Christmas dinner empty handed…get your DD to make something and bring a bottle of wine at the very least.