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Original poster

Why won't husband DO anything??

108 replies

PistachioTiramisu · 15/12/2025 09:12

OK - it's now 10 days until Christmas. I have most things sorted, such as decorations, food, presents, etc. Since mid-November I have been prompting DH to find out from his (adult) children what they and the grandchildren would like for their Christmas presents. He had done absolutely nothing at all in this respect, or anything else towards preparations for that matter! I have reminded him and reminded him to do something, but he just won't. I don't want them to be disappointed on Christmas Day, but on the other hand I don't see why I should sort out stuff for HIS children. What would you do?

OP posts:
TurraeaFloribunda · 16/12/2025 13:28

oldestmumaintheworld · 15/12/2025 09:13

A big fat nothing. Not your relatives, not your problem.

I disagree. They are her step children and step grandchildren, they are her legal relatives, if not her blood relatives. It depends on how that relationship works for OP in real life. If they are close and buy her a thoughtful gift, she should respond in kind. If they are civil but have little contact and give her a token gift (or nothing), she should do the same. Just make it clear that the gift is from you, OP, not you and your DH.

I’m also a bit of a softie, if the DSGC are little, I would probably march him to the shops on Christmas Eve if he hasn’t bought gifts by then. He can just give teens and adults cash.

Hopingtobeaparent · 16/12/2025 14:44

PistachioTiramisu · 15/12/2025 12:26

We've been together 15 years and married for 10. In the past I have contacted the kids directly and asked what they and their children would like. Then it has been up to me to do the direct shopping and he has done on line shopping. I'm a mug, aren't I? I just decided this year I would not go through this procedure and see what happens!!

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@PistachioTiramisu

Then you’ve got to hold your nerve, follow through, and see what does happen!

Good luck! 🫣

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 16/12/2025 14:56

Legal relatives? What tosh...
They are her dh's dc... Op has no legal obligation to them at all. If their blood relative cba why should op be?

Davros · 16/12/2025 15:09

SliceofTosst · 16/12/2025 12:02

Keep messaging him 'Have they got back to you yet?'

Drive him mad so he sends messages.

Don’t do this, you might as well do the task yourself if this is what it takes. You’ve done what you can, I now give you permission to be indifferent

Moodup · 16/12/2025 17:55

Buy nothing and don’t feel guilty.

Rainbow1901 · 16/12/2025 19:37

Hang in there OP and do nothing more! He's a grown man and he's the one who will look foolish if he doesn't get his act together.

Kirstylouis · 26/12/2025 16:49

Im always left to.do.all.the xmas stuff this year its really gotten me down i stuck to money we had in budget then he went and bought stuff for me from him and kids on credit then fell out with me on xmas day cos the present i wrapped from his child she didnt know what she had gotten him he was mad at me for it it made my whole xmas morning awfull i felt awfull cos i hadnt bought great presents i genuilly hated it this year

JFDIYOLO · 27/12/2025 08:51

Ok, so how did he do?

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