Anyone who doesn't do the elf thing, what do you tell your kids?

[YouLookLikeStevieNicks]

DD is only 2 so I don't really need to worry about this just yet.

But a friend said to me today "ooh she will be old enough for an elf next year" and it hit me that I really don't want to do it. I can't even explain why, I love christmas and I want to make it as magical as possible for her, but I really don't want a bloody elf!

Is it a really big deal these days? Will she be the only one in school without one?

Elf on the shelf wasn’t a thing when mine were little, but tbh I would have told them the truth, that the elf isn’t real, that it’s a toy invented to make people spend money.

And I wouldn’t have cared if they’d gone into school and told the other kids.

It’s IMO nothing like Father Christmas which is a tradition which has existed for centuries, I would have had no qualms in destroying the illusion of a fad that had been in existence for five minutes, and I have 0 doubt that many parents would have been grateful 😂.

Would never have done that with FC, but IMO elf is something which should be obliterated

I’m also really interested in this too - the elf seems to cause such anger in some people!
To be completely transparent, we have an elf and I unapologetically love it. It makes my children laugh every morning, and as there weren’t very many reasons to laugh in my childhood, I enjoy them getting the opportunity to find fun every day for a month. I don’t post on social media about it, but if I’m ever asked about it I will be honest and say yes we have one and no I don’t regret it. Even just a simple comment such as that seems to provoke people firing back that the hate the elf, and they hate parents like me who encourage it

Of course. People seem to have their knickers in a twist about how people make up these elongate stories about spying and then being magical. Everyone I know just literally moves them about every night- that is all. Just something a bit daft. Nothing more, nothing less.

I didn’t say it was universal, nor that I mind seeing other people doing it. But it’s not a Christmas tradition, it is a recent commercial invention and I don’t do it in my house.

Why do you think people make up such daft stories? Kids are not stupid- they know they’re toys. We ‘pretend’ they come from the North Pole and that is it. No spying, no talk of naughty children etc.

If you don’t want to do the elf it’s fine but people are tying themselves in knots thinking of mad reasons why they shouldn’t. Just own your decision without making up scenarios.

Of course and that’s great. My point was that for lots of people they do it as a family tradition and not for social media. Just because you choose not to do it (which is 100% fine) doesn’t make
anyone who chooses to do it any worse than you.

I didn’t say doing the Elf makes anyone “worse” than me either! Where is this coming from?!

I think at some point someone said that such and such at school has an elf or something and I just kinda non-commitally said 'oh right' and that was that. We see them in the shops which I think has then taken the magical shine off it.

We have 'elves' in the house though, perhaps once per festive season I sprinkle a tiny volume of iridescent glitter around and the kids are convinced that means something magical has been. We also have a fill your own advent calendar which has little notes in it, and sometimes they say things like 'we saw that nice thing you did for your sibling' or 'squabbling doesn't get you on the nice list'. That's as far as I'm going with it!!

apologies, that’s probably me projecting a bit, that’s the tone I got from the ‘social media nonsense’ quote but maybe a read it wrong.

That was for @Elektra1

We just say different families have different traditions. In this house the elves visit overnight before the 1st of December, and fill up their wooden advent calendars with treats, leave them Christmas jumpers and Christmas pyjamas, then go back to the north pole!

Kids are 7 and 3, I'm 100% not doing the elf, ever.

ours is cute and girly and cuddly.

Mini blondes is allowed to cuddle because ours isn’t magical /does tricks

just hides

The whole of this Christmas season is so completely out of hand now. We have cancelled the whole thing now. And yes, I have kids. We got rid of the tree 2 years ago. Life is better without it. No one has to participate in the madness. Winter is for relaxing and sleeping!

This is what grandson thinks too! He has the very important job of keeping a tally of the adult's misdemeanours though and speculating which adult Father Christmas will put coal in their stocking. His dm is favourite for stealing the fruitcake I had baked for them from my house. It wasn't stolen I hadn't told dgs I had made them one.

I tried it last year because I didn't want my son to feel like the only kid at school who didn't have one. Anyway, had it delivered his advent calendar & write a letter to him. My son's response (he was only 4): "don't be daft mam. It's just a toy"

DD is 6 and asked about it for the first time as a friends’ family does it. I don’t feel like a grinch not going in for it because we already do so much to celebrate.

We did it once, DD couldn’t have been any less interested, so that’s why we don’t do it anymore! Well she’s too old for it now but it’s why we didn’t do it again after the first time.

I only ever heard of it on social media when my kids were small and other parents were posting(it definitely wasn’t something I searched for—as a pp suggested) and it may have been one of the many reasons I stopped being ‘friends’ with other parents online. I never see it online these days. December was mad enough with my work being ridiculously busy that I couldn’t believe this was being added in as another thing to do in the run up to Christmas. I just remember inwardly telling the poster to fuck off as I scrolled past.
It is yet another thing that kids will feel sad or left out if they don’t have it and everyone else in their class does, but unfortunately that’s life. We had the same drama from kids about chocolate advent calendars, games consoles, phones etc and we held out as long as we could with all of these.
I never gave in to an elf though. That truly would have been a step too far!

I wouldn’t mind doing it but my eldest has a reoccurring nightmare that his toys come alive and come after him. It’s been the same for years! My youngest would love one but it could cause a lot of sleep problems for my eldest so it’s a no from me.

To answer a pp question about why it provokes such an emotional response? For me it’s the cynicism of the whole concept coupled with the ‘Awh, but kids’ narrative which seems to switch off any critical thinking about what you’re buying into - a marketing campaign for a book and a doll (even if you didn’t purchase either you are still perpetuating the idea of it in the consciousness)

Christmas already has - the passing of the shortest day, a virgin birth of the Christ child, Santa, Santa’s elves, flying reindeer, calendars, shows, music, presents, trees, decorations, lights, food, drinks, entertainment etc etc etc. Real life and imaginary magic abound, plastic elves diminish it.

Every single person I know that does the elf tells the story that they’re from the North Pole and Santa has sent them. The original concept was to manage children’s behaviour.

FROM THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE:

Elf on the shelf is a Christmas tradition centered around Scout Elves who fly to the North Pole each night. Scout Elves arrive at homes in a keepsake box set that features a storybook. The book explains that elves love to report to Santa to tell him about each day’s activities! The best part? Kids love to maintain their best behavior when their Scout Elf is around. This way they are sure to be on Santa’s nice list!

Just because you’re ignorant about the origin of elf on the shelf, doesn’t mean you can say I’m making up daft stories @NerrSnerr

We never mentioned it and ds doesn’t care. Isn’t the elf a spy for Santa? It’s sinister

I despise puppets so find the Elf thing hideously repulsive.

• attention seeking and fake - done to post on social media.
• commercialised and faddy - everyone has jumped on the bandwagon
• takes away from the spirit of christmas - just being together
• another reason to just get people to spend money on absolute crap
• similar to other naff things like "pumpkin picking" - where everyone joins in to take photos for instagram

Dd is 11 now but we've never done the elf. She finds it creepy anyway. The thought of having to do a different prank every December day for years fills me with dread. She's never asked about it.