Anyone who doesn't do the elf thing, what do you tell your kids?

[YouLookLikeStevieNicks]

DD is only 2 so I don't really need to worry about this just yet.

But a friend said to me today "ooh she will be old enough for an elf next year" and it hit me that I really don't want to do it. I can't even explain why, I love christmas and I want to make it as magical as possible for her, but I really don't want a bloody elf!

Is it a really big deal these days? Will she be the only one in school without one?

It wasn't a thing when mine were little but I have a friend whose two daughters do it for their kids. One of them posted a picture of her kitchen with flour all over the place and the other posted chocolate all over the toilet seat. That one was especially grim. I never acknowledge them. What surprises me is that both women are extremely houseproud.
I'm with a pp and think they're creepy little fuckers.

Mine didn't ask till ages 7, I said Santa knew they were good children so they didn't need one.

An Elf has never arrived in this house I'm not sure why. My children have mentioned them over the years actually they think they are scary looking.
Maybe it be because we are good in this house, maybe Santa elfs have a good idea, view of behavior so no need for elf to come. I'm delighted no elfs fingers crossed doesn't arrive this year

I told my kids if you’re definitely on the good list then you dont get an elf as they are busy preparing your gifts…. If you’re at risk or on the naughty list you get an elf and less presents…. Shut that conversation down quickly enough

Child.now.9 but she became aware 4 ish.
We just said we didn't do it and changed the subject.
She came to the conclusion it was mummy's and daddy's herself and doesn't care .

We do the elf and I enjoy it 😂 he's just sat in the living room with the chocolate advent calendars tonight. I've seen a few 'elf arrivals' posted on social media tonight with lots of presents with then already which goes a little too far for me.

Usually mid December the ideas start waning 😂 but it's just some light hearted fun for us... never posted to social media either so it's not for that. If you don't want to do it that's perfectly fine too. I see Christmas Eve boxes plastered everywhere and that's just not something we do.

I like the idea a PP said earlier about Father Christmas asking parents if they are happy with an elf to come to their house. My children have friends that do and don't have an elf, they've never really questioned why!

We never did it until Dd started school… her reception class had an elf, all her friends had an elf.. why didn’t she have an elf?!
We got her one the next year and she bloody adores the thing. First year we did it she cried on Xmas eve because he was leaving. Every year she gets so excited by it. Blimming thing drives me mad but they are all only young for a short time. She’s 10 soon so this maybe our last year… I did wonder if she suspected this year but she’s still excited for their arrival in the morning!

Just don’t do it! I did it for 10 bloody years. Honestly, I actually loved the first 4 years, but after that it was just a pain in the arse. The last couple of years the elves were referred to as ‘the bastards’ by me and my husband (out of earshot of the children obvs) as we were soooo over it!! Even on the 11th year the kids wanted them to come when they didn’t even believe anymore, and probably hadn’t for the previous 2 years either. I moved house and they got lost. 😂 I just said the elves didn’t know where we’d moved too, even though by this point they knew it was bollocks and they knew that I knew that they knew it was bollocks. 🤪

Tell your kids whatever you like about why you don’t have one. It really doesn’t matter. My kids would have been told x,y&z from other kids but they really didn’t care! When they were younger they just believed the other children weren’t lucky enough to have elves, or that the children didn’t believe so they don’t get them! And by the end they knew they were fake but just thought it was fun and were happy having elves (even though I was sick to death of it).

So yeah, just don’t do it. 🤣

It’s a very recent phenomenon in the UK. I can only imagine that once you start with that malarkey, it’s very difficult to stop. Also the elves I’ve seen in the shops are pretty hideous.

Exactly, Coop has an Elf display out before their main Christmas stuff and during the Halloween promotions. It's so blindingly obvious it's a fake thing from the display they do that it would be easy to explain to most kids - even pre school/nursery - that it was a really commercial thing that wasn't something to buy into

I said I'd never do it. My other half wanted to do it when we had one child.....now we have two 😆 I was very clear it was on him if he wanted to do it as I wasn't adding to my load. He regrets it now as it's a novelty at first but then you have to do it every year! Kids do love the little people tbf and are very excited about their arrival tomorrow!

I can’t imagine smearing chocolate around my own toilet seat knowing I then have to wipe it all off a few hours later. I also really don’t get it- if your child did this you’d be fuming. It’s quite mixed messaging for young kids who want to be on Santa’s good list!

Never done it and the kids have never asked, I don't think it's something they really discuss amongst themselves.

We struggle to get reliable make believe staff at the best of times, the tooth fairy quite often turns up a day or 2 late, with an apologetic note and some extra cash as compensation. We'd almost certainly get slacker elves who'd keep.forgetting to move, so probably best if they stay away!

Never even come up with DS9.

We don’t do it. My kids not stupid and he’s 3. He would know it’s just a toy. But if he doesn’t then I will say that elves can be naughty and we have enough mess in the house to be letting an elf in.

I had to broach the Santa thing this evening because obviously there’s only one Santa Christmas; and we are seeing loads about - I had to say that adults like to do silly things and dress as Santa. There’s only one Santa. We don’t know which one he is but they can’t all be Santa.

I think you just have to think on your feet. They are clever 😅

DD mentioned it once or twice, she's 7. I told her it's not real and it's the parents doing it, but she can't tell her friends that if they believe. She still fully believes in father Christmas and knows he doesn't need stupid little plastic elves to watch her

I didn’t do it…until last year. I cant remember when they first came around but my eldest is nearly 10 and I remember at some stage saying mummy doesn’t want to have to move an elf around the house, I’m sure I was explicit. The younger especially, but both of them, for 2 or 3 years were applying the full ‘I am the only one in my class that doesn’t have one’ treatment and seemed genuinely mournful that no elf wanted to visit us. During this time I realised the kids are really believing this shit now. That was probably going on for a while but I’m not on FB so think I missed the memo!

So I caved and I’ve just written on my bathroom mirror with red lipstick. It’s making me feel better as I’ve fucked up the advent calendar situation this year! So I have no helpful advice. My kids teacher has one in the class as well, I feel resistance is futile unfortunately.

I never did it. Didn’t want to do it and thankfully DD thought it was freaky.

I find it the most cringe and tacky thing and have never done it.

Not a thing.

please don’t worry about it!

How recent do you consider recent? I started it (like an idiot) in 2013 and had a few friends (that I stupidly copied- fuckwit that I am) that had started it in 2010, maybe slightly earlier. All in the UK by the way.

'Because Mummy has enough to think about without adding a bloody elf into the mix!' or words to that effect.

My question would be what on earth do you tell your children if you do the elf?

We let a stranger into the house because Santa has asked them to spy on you. They’re here to make sure you behave, but they can cause as much mayhem (all the stupid photos/ideas on social media) as they want? They’re badly behaved, unpredictable, and are in control of whether Santa decides you deserve presents or not?

Weird.

smearing chocolate on your toilet seat is not mandatory.

never did this!

did do fun stuff (for the children -not me) like getting the loo rolls out the cupboard and making a snowman with them. Minimal effort, you just stack them and put a cap on top and scarf around it. Draw on a carrot with an orange sharpie.

if you want some toilet humour, when they’re old enough to understand, or old enough to understand explanations, you can graffiti the toilet rolls, with ‘let it go’, ‘can’t hold it anymore’ (might work better if they love the film frozen). Or if they’re fans of popular Christmas songs graffiti the toilet rolls with ‘it’s starting to look a lot like poopmas’ or ‘last Christmas I gave you my poop’. It’s not even funny but kids find it hilarious.

the closest i got to a poop them was chocolate iced gems. My kids thought it was hilarious, but they were not stupid enough to think it was real poo.