Anyone who doesn't do the elf thing, what do you tell your kids?

[YouLookLikeStevieNicks]

DD is only 2 so I don't really need to worry about this just yet.

But a friend said to me today "ooh she will be old enough for an elf next year" and it hit me that I really don't want to do it. I can't even explain why, I love christmas and I want to make it as magical as possible for her, but I really don't want a bloody elf!

Is it a really big deal these days? Will she be the only one in school without one?

Yeah I feel the same 💓

I think these things are definitely falling out of fashion. It's all a bit ridiculous now with all the different 'boxes' and Elf is back presents etc etc- don't understand why people can't just way until Christmas Day. Don't feel bad OP - plenty on here agree with you! Wasn't a thing when my DCs were young and I am so glad about that 😅

When my little girl was about six she asked why we were the only ones who didn’t have an elf. I’d be absolutely certain we wouldn’t ever have one, but that broke me a bit. The same day I spotted a reindeer that is made by the Elf company in our local shop… She’s always been horse/pony mad, so it seemed appropriate.
She called him Robin and he is probably her favourite bit of Christmas - she is fifteen now. 😆
He doesn’t do anything naughty, he just brings a lolly or sweetie each day.

Never done it

I say…

1. It’s an idea that came from parents telling their kids the elf is spying for Father Christmas and I don’t like that idea because every child deserves Christmas presents.
2. It tends to involve a lot of unnecessary waste/single use plastic that will end up in landfill. I particularly dislike the food waste when so many families are struggling so much and I would rather buy an extra box of cereal and give it to the food bank than spread it round my kitchen.
3. The kids all realise that both me and DH work full time as well as caring for them and that frankly we’re busy enough without creating and clearing up extra mess.

So far they are on board with this messaging (9,8,8).

I also am firmly in the camp that Christmas can be more than magical with the simpler pleasures in life and doesn’t need to be all over social media. We make lovely memories every year and not once have I thought that some shitty plastic elves made by child labour in some impoverished part of the world will add to that.

I think personally that it’s one of those ‘you do you’ things.

If you're not a fan then don’t do it but also dont assume that everyone who does is in it for the social media likes or tells their kids that the elves are spies.

We do itbut don’t go over the top and never post it on social media but for us it’s part of our tradition and the kids love it.

My older ones started to do their own pranks with it a few years ago and I loved seeing what they’d done ha ha

Elves are creepy cunts.

I have a feeling about 10 years ago an American company started promoting it?

This is the first year my eldest has asked about it he's 6. We simply explained every family has their own traditions and beliefs.

Our tradition is a refillable advent calander which changes each year what they get. We also go and pick a new bauble for the tree.

That elf is never setting foot in our house though that I am adamant about!

The elf came in lockdown and has been here ever since. Elvish decided to live in my daughter's bedroom as he got used to life of luxury. Not working and making mischief.
The reality is I got fed up after day 4 or 5 of moving him. He was packed away with Xmas decorations but then the following Xmas when he came out again my youngest claimed him and he sleeps in her bed all year round. Works for me better this way.

Absolutely no elf here! There is far too much to do in December without adding something else, and I'd forget and disappoint the kids.

We told ours that the elf only comes if the kids are struggling to stay on the nice list. The elf comes to do the naughty stuff to help the kids be good and get on the nice list. They do not want an elf to come here, if it doesnt it means they're safe 😆

Just tell her that the elf thing is just a game, and that different families have different games.
It's just some made-up bollocks that went a bit viral in the last decade or so. Doesn't have to be treated with the same respect as the far longer-standing Father Christmas beliefs.

DS has never been bothered and is 8 now- they have one at school but to my immense relief, that seems sufficient. He's twigged that Mum and Dad are santa etc anyway

I told mine Father Christmas sends them if he’s undecided whether the child is on the nice or naughty list, so they can keep an eye out for him. Now when she mentions someone with an elf I just give her a worried look.

I’d tell them that we do not live in that sort of surveillance society in our family.

😂 Really, mine have never asked (eldest is 12). If they did I’d explain is not real, just a silly thing some people do.

DD is 7 and she's never commented about it so I wouldn't worry.

Say it’s only for naughty children to check up on them - Santa already knows your kids are on the nice list and doesn’t need to send any spies out!

I never believed in magic stuff as a kid, it's only quite recently really that I've realised not all children are just "playing along" like I was when adults talked about FC or the tooth fairy.
My son is six and the elf has never been mentioned. I'd do it if he wanted but I wouldn't pretend it was real, just a bit of Christmas fun (and very basic!).

I’m EXTREMELY allergic to elves. The end

I do it but with vintage elves because I hate the original ones. We do a mixture of nice and silly, and they put the chocolates and treats in the handmade advent calendars… so I don’t feel it’s too commercialised at all.

I feel the same way. For me, it seems like forced fun, more about social media hype than the genuine magic you create at home with your kids, passed down through your family, recreating the magic that you felt as a child. You don’t need likes or online validation especially when you’re doing what’s real and meaningful, not just what everyone else online is doing, just to prove to everyone else that you’re doing it too.

*edited as I appreciate I sound miserable and don’t want mean offence to anyone that does it for the fun and excitement for your children and not purely to post that you’re doing it online. I just hate social media, so it clouds my judgment when social media is involved. Also, I can’t actually answer the question asked by OP as my child isn’t old enough yet.

I told them that naughty kids deserve presents too so I don't agree with the elf thing.

I said “oh I haven’t got time to sort an elf every night!” And dc said “but Mrs S says the elf just appears and you don’t have to do anything!” (I was a bit 😳 because it hadn’t occurred to me that it was supposed to be magical and not the parents). We totally go in for Father Christmas but my dc were about 8 when they asked and I was a mum of 3, working full time and I know my limits. Creepy elf job is apparently it. I then said, I don’t need an elf making mess as the dc make plenty already… and it was never mentioned again.

Elf on the shelf is not a “Christmas tradition”, it’s a recently invented bit of social media nonsense. I have kids in their early 20s and a 6 year old. When the older ones were of “believing” age, Elf on the shelf didn’t exist as a concept. Now I have a 6 year old and many of her friends’ families do the elf thing. I just don’t. She’s never asked about it.

My parenting days pre-date the elf so mercifullly I know very little about them and their ways.