Help me find the holy grail

[bumblebramble]

I’m really stumped this year. Pils are in their 80s, mentally sharp but they can’t walk far. Fil has a heart condition and mil is diabetic and arthritic. Both have hearing aids.

They downsized drastically in the last year, and got rid of about 70% of their possessions so they don’t want clutter. They eat out a couple of times a week so restaurants (even very expensive ones) and afternoon tea are their normal, rather than a special occasion. We see them regularly so spending quality time together is already a given.

They don’t drink or smoke. They’ve given up gardening and hired a gardener. They still play golf but have every thing they want and need related to that.

The last couple of years we organised excursions for them with our dc, and they enjoyed that but their mobility has dropped dramatically and they can’t manage much now. They are very proud and refuse to use wheelchairs or mobility aids (with the exception of the golf buggy of course)

For Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter etc we have made hampers of treats or cheese, which they enjoy. But at Christmas they get a lot of that sort of thing, and don’t want more.

They have more clothes, shoes and accessories than they could ever wear. They both have fitbits, More pictures than wall space, cabinets full of vases and ornaments. Their house is fully furnished.

The dc are long past the cute homemade gifts stage. Oh and they do not like bird watching (they’d be more inclined to shoot them for trespass)

In the past we’ve given them

heated blankets (miss)
ipads (hit)
kindles (hit)
digital photo frame (miss)
robot hoover (hit)
Nespresso machine (hit)
robot lawnmower (hit)
robot window cleaner (miss)
organised days out (difficult)
silk pillowcases (miss)
vouchers to restaurants (not used)
theatre tickets (not used)
jewellery (returned)
access to newspaper archives (hit)
gag gifts (not amused)
historical interest books (hit)

Gift giving is a huge deal in this family. I don’t necessarily understand it, but it is what it is. As much as I’d love to make this dh’s problem to solve alone, I’ll still have to listen to him stressing about it and that’s not my idea of Christmas fun.

So… if you’ve read this far, and know the whereabouts of the holy grail, have any suggestions, I would be so grateful because I’m completely and utterly stumped.

So I assumed this would be a discussion about finding
The Holy Grail 😊

nevertheless
What about an Ancestry subscription. If there’s Irish roots then I’d recommend Roots Ireland

That is exactly what I was going to suggest. Some kind of genealogy subscription or course or family tree writing kit etc

Magazine subscriptions ? (Maybe golf / something else)

A magazine subscription?

Audible Subscription

That could be an interesting one. Fil did a bit of research on family history a good few years ago so I’ll get dh to test the waters on that.

Thank you.

@ItsReallyOnlyMe and @TruthOutWeighsLies I should have mentioned no subscriptions. We’re still stuck with an audible subscription and sil is paying for the daily newspaper delivery.

Have they not told you not to bother? As my parents got older they repeatedly stressed they had everything they needed so we just got smaller gifts that they usually enjoyed just as much as anything more extravagant. Things like:
Luxury bars of soap
Artisan gin/whisky/special bottle of wine
Home made Christmas cake
Luxury cashmere socks
A bouquet of flowers
Special cheese
Basket of Spring bulbs
A couple of novels
New hankies
Artisan chocolates
The important thing was whether they would enjoy it, not how much we spent.

Along the same lines...if you contact your local archive service you can often pay for their time/a project.

I did this for my mums Christmas gift a couple of years ago. I paid about £100 for three hours of their time for research on my mum - they went back five generations! I got a huge ream of info of births/deaths/marriages/parish info/newspapers about my mums side and also a family tree drawn out.

I printed it all out and gift boxed it, it was a massive hit.

Is this because your local archive was the place of your mothers and families birth ? Or did they use ancestry type websites to search it for you ?

I got my parents wine Advent Calendars a few years ago (one each, different brands) and it was a surprising hit. The 25 bottles were small enough for 2 small glasses each, so they would have a glass of their own and then the other person’s and compare. They rated them all in order over December, and ended up buying several cases of their favourites at the end. (If had been smarter, I should have said I’d buy them a favourite case each as part of the present).

They said how much they enjoyed the daily treat in December, and asked for it again the following year.

It’s not the holy grail, but what about an amaryllis? You get them online in lots of surprising colours and shapes and if you plant one in the September/october or so it should be good for the Christmas period. They are fun to watch grow as they are so explosively fast, and there’s a lot of anticipation with a good pay off.

I have found them to be a hit and usually get a few updates and photos of what’s happening.

its only a small present though.

Another suggestion is updating the iPads. When did you last give it as a gift? As you probably known, there are larger size iPads now, which again has been a hit as a gift with aging parents. They weren’t enthusiastic at the idea as they had iPads, but now love the bigger screens.

A teasmade? Or is it teasmaid?

Or an instant hot water gizmo.

https://onlinewinetasting.club/?srsltid=AfmBOooWc4cxRNJK-JIWKLq7Hq08lco99Uyn7vVyYFTPNRc6TdNlcU8P

If they are technologically able, then maybe something like this one. I haven't used it but was thinking about gifting it to a friend.

A round of golf at a famous course?

Even though they have a gardener do they still enjoy sitting out and being in their garden? Would garden centre vouchers or asking them/ the gardener about some new plants for an area work? New garden furniture which is more comfortable?

National trust membership. I got on for my dad and he uses it all the time. Also I just now renew it every year.

Similar situation in our house - decluttering GPs who don’t want to receive objects. If your in-laws are receptive to genealogy, buy an annual subscription (at top level). It’s like doing a jigsaw without a picture, keeps the grey cells stimulated, leads to exploration of housing, employment, war times, people’s circumstances, highs and lows of ancestors, discovery of skeletons in cupboards (oo, er) and photographs from 150 years ago for which we use AI. Museums, churches, libraries, national archives, dedicated historians have been involved. Ultimately DNA tests can forge links with other family members progressing to group work. Four of us in different corners of the UK message weekly then really focus on our tree during the winter. Others in USA and Australia contribute or ask for information. Genealogy can be a limitless and amazing hobby.

They go out regularly to eat. Do you get the chance to go somewhere special as a family- maybe a family meal out?

They all sound lovely ideas. I’m making notes for my dm too. Expensive consumables might be the way to go

I might look into that. Fil has quite a bit put together on his side, and maybe it could be bound or something too. I’m not sure how much interest mil has in her side of the family.

That’s pretty impressive for three hours work!

@3LemonsAndLime the advent calendar trend passed them by so that’s one to think about.
@Coatsoff42 amaryllis sound lovely and I know someone else who would love that too. I might get the rest of my shopping sorted on this thread
@BitOutOfPractice teasmaid is a possibility. I think they had one in the sixties so it might be nostalgic as well
@gato21 not for them but that’s my sil&db sorted. Brilliant!
@Dontsparethehorses oh, garden furniture…I wonder?
@Onwardspeople I think they’ve just gone past that, because there would be too much travel in it now. Such a pity because it’s a perfect idea for them.

I really appreciate everyone’s contributions. Every idea is making me think. And sympathy to those in the same boat!

A Hotel Chocolat velvetiser, or Cook vouchers.

My parents adore their velvetiser and it gives future present options in vouchers or choc sachets. Its dead easy to use and clean and takes minimal space.

Have they any enthusiasm about coffee? Subscription, machine/drip/etc etc etc.

I remember reading about getting newspapers from the day people were born.

I'll try to think. Sounds like hard work. I have a similar family member

Deffo the genealogy type thing I reckon- and also a bundle of nespresso pods in a nice basket or dispenser they could use. Or an upgrade to one of the previous “hits” like kindle or iPad?