Help me find the holy grail

[bumblebramble]

I’m really stumped this year. Pils are in their 80s, mentally sharp but they can’t walk far. Fil has a heart condition and mil is diabetic and arthritic. Both have hearing aids.

They downsized drastically in the last year, and got rid of about 70% of their possessions so they don’t want clutter. They eat out a couple of times a week so restaurants (even very expensive ones) and afternoon tea are their normal, rather than a special occasion. We see them regularly so spending quality time together is already a given.

They don’t drink or smoke. They’ve given up gardening and hired a gardener. They still play golf but have every thing they want and need related to that.

The last couple of years we organised excursions for them with our dc, and they enjoyed that but their mobility has dropped dramatically and they can’t manage much now. They are very proud and refuse to use wheelchairs or mobility aids (with the exception of the golf buggy of course)

For Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter etc we have made hampers of treats or cheese, which they enjoy. But at Christmas they get a lot of that sort of thing, and don’t want more.

They have more clothes, shoes and accessories than they could ever wear. They both have fitbits, More pictures than wall space, cabinets full of vases and ornaments. Their house is fully furnished.

The dc are long past the cute homemade gifts stage. Oh and they do not like bird watching (they’d be more inclined to shoot them for trespass)

In the past we’ve given them

heated blankets (miss)
ipads (hit)
kindles (hit)
digital photo frame (miss)
robot hoover (hit)
Nespresso machine (hit)
robot lawnmower (hit)
robot window cleaner (miss)
organised days out (difficult)
silk pillowcases (miss)
vouchers to restaurants (not used)
theatre tickets (not used)
jewellery (returned)
access to newspaper archives (hit)
gag gifts (not amused)
historical interest books (hit)

Gift giving is a huge deal in this family. I don’t necessarily understand it, but it is what it is. As much as I’d love to make this dh’s problem to solve alone, I’ll still have to listen to him stressing about it and that’s not my idea of Christmas fun.

So… if you’ve read this far, and know the whereabouts of the holy grail, have any suggestions, I would be so grateful because I’m completely and utterly stumped.

So gadgets seem to be hit and miss but notably absent from your list is an airfyer, have they already got one?
Having resisted for years I just got my first airfryer (note - first because I fully intent to get a bigger better one sometime) and I bloody love it! It's so much more useful than I ever imagined, and - this might be the greatest thing about it - I hardly ever use the oven for anything now so I'm looking at a future undisturbed by the domestic cloud of thinking it's time I cleaned the oven! Never again! (This may be overly optimistic but I've never seen it put forward as an argument for an airfryer whereas I think it's just gold from that point of view.)

upgrading the tech might be a good one. It’s made me think that mil sometimes grumbles about how often the rooms needs emptying so maybe we could get one of the self emptying ones instead.

@heldinadream my clever little niece gave them an air fryer last year. They really are a game changer!

@BitOutOfPractice i missed the hot water gizmo suggestion. You mean a quooker type tap or something else?

London Library membership if money no object? Website says there is a postal loan option. Also overseas membership so there must be some way of dealing with returns. https://www.londonlibrary.co.uk/postage-charges

Bird box, wildlife camera.

I'm really bad at tech but I know such a thing exists - a projector, to watch TV etc VERY VERY BIG on a wall/screen? Sometimes TV can be a little bit cramped if your eyesight isn't what it was. And/or headphones or something compatible with hearing aids so they can hear the soundtrack?

Wine tasting evening ? With transport provided to and from?
Magazine subscription

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat that is such a brilliant idea. It might be the work of months to persuade them to turn their armchairs the other way round to take advantage of the wall space 🤣 but that could be a hit!

Grandparents have individual headphones for watching TV. They sit in a big echoey room with a huge TV but one has relatively good hearing and the other needs the volume much higher. I think they're Bluetooth. They love them and just pop in the cradle beside thier chair to recharge. They can reach to the kitchen too, which is connected, so MiL sometimes watches the TV from a distance while ironing. Also great if one goes to bed early as the other can watch on load without disturbing the other.

Also grandparents, they have a VR headset and use it to do tours of historical buildings, panda zoo in china etc. Grandchildren use it to play games. Might be a bit or miss in this case, but maybe good if they miss travel?

I have a friend with one of the roomba things that can mop us spills as well as hoover and they love it, although you do need to empty the base station dirty water and fill clean.

Big - Apple Watch? But may be a bit chunky for elderly wrists?

Small - a decorated waxed amaryllis? Usually available early December. Something like this? https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1813881582/amaryllis-in-wax-christmas-amaryllis?gpla=1&gao=1&utm_source=connexity&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=shopping_uk_google&utm_content=EAIaIQobChMI9cPGyNW0jwMVXYdQBh0pqhQOEAQYASABEgKx5fD_BwE&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22259052230&gbraid=0AAAAAD_PDJm4yfoclcSIb37LfuRtaastZ&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9cPGyNW0jwMVXYdQBh0pqhQOEAQYASABEgKx5fD_BwE

Anyone else using this thread for their Christmas list
thanks OP
💐🥳

Similar to the nespresso machine/teasmade, we made my in laws a hotel style tea tray to have upstairs so they wouldn’t have to wobble morning cups of tea upstairs. Really nice wooden tray, kettle, little caddy pots for tea bags, cafetière, and a thermos bottle to put milk in. It went down really well.

I know you say days out are hard to organise but I also wondered about a safari day where you can sit in a vehicle so mobility not an issue? You can get some where you hire a guided jeep rather than taking your own car.

What about sheepskin slippers I love my ugg ones and DH loves his Just Sherpskin ones.

if they like the garden enough to have a gardener, would they like a rose named after your MIL?

Theatre vouchers weren't used but would tickets to something specific to go with you/the grandkids be used? there are lots of carols by candlelight and last night of the proms type events which they wouldn't need to be very mobile to attend

Luxury bedding - not silk pillowcase style but beautiful real linen, or a wool duvet or a horrifically expensive bedspread (they sound like no cats sleep on their bed!)

You don't mention Alexa, my inlaws and my dad both actually use theirs but in very different ways, so they may have a usecase that works for them!

And/or a ring doorbell or security cameras or the 'useful' tech to enable them to easily see who a visitor is, if mobility is getting harder?

Do they still play golf? If so could you get a voucher for the clubhouse ?

Also using this thread for ideas!!

was going to suggest the floor mopping romba

perfume /aftershave?

Another thought, which might be cheating, but could you get MIL to one side and say DH is getting himself a bit stressed thinking of Christmas gifts and you wondered if there’s anything she’d quite fancy that you could suggest to DH as an idea for him to get? And if there’s anything she thinks FIL would appreciate too.

If you’re going down the route of expensive consumables, then I would recommend a Fortnum and Mason hamper, thanks to the suggestion of a poster last year.
I ordered a cheese hamper, which came with 3 cheeses, crackers, chutney and wine. It went down very well. They will be on line closer to Christmas. I pre ordered on Black Friday for free delivery and you could choose the day of delivery over the weeks running up to Christmas Day.

Indoor plants
Fresh flower subscription
Garden ornaments

I think this is a great gift idea, basically a prompted write your own autobiography

https://storykeeper.com/uk/

This is exactly what I do for my parents, DH’s parents and a couple of other close relatives. I’ve done it for years now, different F&M hampers for different years, some are a bigger hit and get repeated, others don’t hit so well and I remember that. A very good champagne or wine/gin/whiskey might be nice too? Depending on drinking habits of course!

How about a podiatrist to visit the house & give them a good foot treatment
if they don’t walk far their feet may need a nice massage etc ?

On AirBnB as an « experience »…you can book for an online visit of the Taj Mahal…

Same with a lot of other places…
if any good?