Help me find the holy grail

[bumblebramble]

I’m really stumped this year. Pils are in their 80s, mentally sharp but they can’t walk far. Fil has a heart condition and mil is diabetic and arthritic. Both have hearing aids.

They downsized drastically in the last year, and got rid of about 70% of their possessions so they don’t want clutter. They eat out a couple of times a week so restaurants (even very expensive ones) and afternoon tea are their normal, rather than a special occasion. We see them regularly so spending quality time together is already a given.

They don’t drink or smoke. They’ve given up gardening and hired a gardener. They still play golf but have every thing they want and need related to that.

The last couple of years we organised excursions for them with our dc, and they enjoyed that but their mobility has dropped dramatically and they can’t manage much now. They are very proud and refuse to use wheelchairs or mobility aids (with the exception of the golf buggy of course)

For Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, Easter etc we have made hampers of treats or cheese, which they enjoy. But at Christmas they get a lot of that sort of thing, and don’t want more.

They have more clothes, shoes and accessories than they could ever wear. They both have fitbits, More pictures than wall space, cabinets full of vases and ornaments. Their house is fully furnished.

The dc are long past the cute homemade gifts stage. Oh and they do not like bird watching (they’d be more inclined to shoot them for trespass)

In the past we’ve given them

heated blankets (miss)
ipads (hit)
kindles (hit)
digital photo frame (miss)
robot hoover (hit)
Nespresso machine (hit)
robot lawnmower (hit)
robot window cleaner (miss)
organised days out (difficult)
silk pillowcases (miss)
vouchers to restaurants (not used)
theatre tickets (not used)
jewellery (returned)
access to newspaper archives (hit)
gag gifts (not amused)
historical interest books (hit)

Gift giving is a huge deal in this family. I don’t necessarily understand it, but it is what it is. As much as I’d love to make this dh’s problem to solve alone, I’ll still have to listen to him stressing about it and that’s not my idea of Christmas fun.

So… if you’ve read this far, and know the whereabouts of the holy grail, have any suggestions, I would be so grateful because I’m completely and utterly stumped.

A couples massage at home

A selfish thank you for this, bumblebramble. There are some really lovely ideas and I hope that you find something. I suspect many, like me, are going to pinch some of the ideas.

The genealogy posts are interesting, especially paying someone to search on your behalf. When my children were born, one of my grandmothers still had an aunt - one of her mother’s sisters, so they’d have to go back a fair way for me!

I've mostly got my family trained not to give me clutter, although I currently have a * balloon floating near the ceiling, from an inarticulate great nephew whom I wouldn't criticise for anything, as that's his way of saying 'Hi'.
I hate big bouquets of unscented flowers with loads of air miles.
I love tiny bunches of scented garden flowers, sweetpeas, lily of the valley, jasmine, that a friends brings me.
I love a bunch of forsythia twigs brought in at just the right time of year to come into flower in a golden burst of sunshine, before anything else.
I love bowls and baskets of spring bulbs, and a friend brought an orchid that flowered and flowered for three years before having a rest for a few months - and now a flower spike has come up again.
I have just asked a friend in Canada to get me a sheepskin elbow protector which his mother will bring back when she visits, because I get bedsores on my elbow from leaning on it as I lie reading.

I have difficult to buy for in-laws, so I know your pain!

I find author signed books are well received and a Fortnum and Mason hamper goes down well!

Alternatively a gin / rum/ wine/ coffee or tea subscription (a present every month) has also been well received.

How about a room fragrance electric diffuser - I was bought one and was convinced I wouldn’t use it but I do. It is a plug in one from Oliver Bonas like this.

How about a le Chocolat velvetiser or an outdoor fire stove - link here.

If they’re like my dad and need to get up a lot in the night, and/or are obsessed with torches, I recently stayed in a place that had hallway nightlights that you could take off the plug and use as a torch. Definitely what he’s getting for Christmas.

Would cashmere fingerless gloves (eg turtle dove) work? Little bit of luxury but maybe useful? They do men’s as well as women’s.

Can you ask them what they would like, and thereby give the opportunity to graciously decline a gift, or just accept a token? Eg posh consumables with a reasonable shelf life, so they can enjoy in Feb if they get loads.

Surely it’s obvious they need for nothing!?

Otherwise I’d suggest some interesting books that chime with their interests but they probably wouldn’t choose for themselves.

I know you said a digital photo frame was a miss but DB recently bought our parents a frameo each. It is a digital photo frame but on the WiFi so you can upload photos remotely, it's been a hit for us.

Do you know the brand please? I didn't know you could connect two headphones at the same time!

A Devon Duvets wool mattress topper. They are incredible.

They seem to be into history and stuff, why don't you ask them to find the Holy Grail, they'd love it as a project. The clues are out there, they can start with Indiana Jones.

The hits all seem to be useful house or garden tech / gadgets so I’d focus on that.

a Teasmaid for their room? With mini fridge?
air fryer
Sonos speakers?
Alexa type devices

TV subscriptions such as Netflix, Apple etc if he don’t already have them?

Agree that this thread has some great Christmas present ideas!

Would your Mum maybe like some posh perfume that she wouldn’t have ever bought herself?

On the genealogy theme, I found out about this company recently, who look great:
https://www.yourtour.live/

Also, I recently gave my PILs a karaoke machine from Lucky Voice which was an unexpected hit!

Photo blanket, photo glasses cleaner cloth?
monthly flower subscription?

Give some money to charity on their behalf.

Famileo magazine. My (82 year old) mum loves it!

My father loves his subscription to The Oldie magazine

Electric salt and pepper mills.

I’m going with a wildlife birdbox for the garden with a camera in! My mum got one for her birthday (from my dad) and she adores it, they had nesting bluebirds this year- she had an alert on her phone but you can have posher ones with standalone cameras

DNA tests?

Good quality food hamper/basket.

We've just stayed in a beautiful converted barn that had those - motion sensitive ones. I liked them so much that I took a note of the name - Auraglowhttps://amzn.eu/d/38APO4n

(I wonder if we stayed in the same place!)