Year round Nigel Slater discussion thread Part 2

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

Hello, all and welcome to this lovely space for our continued chats.

A bit of background for anyone not familiar with this topic:

The Nigel Slater Christmas Chronicles readalong usually takes place here between November and February each year (the Christmas Chronicles being a book written by Nigel Slater full of winter recipes and anecdotes) It's been running for a few years, and the contributors have collectively decided it would be nice to have it running all year round.

So here it is. It is a place to appreciate all things Nigel-esque. Think seasonal food and recipes, enjoyment of nature, gardening, appreciation of the weather, and sharing of news and small moments of joy. It's a calm, cosy space for gentle chat and merriment so pull up a deckchair, grab a drink and relax.

A very hearty welcome to friends new and old!

That's sad @RainbowZebraWarrior I'm also a people pleaser and with 3 daughters I'm desperately trying to raise them to stand up for themselves, without being rude or feeling guilty. I never realised it would be so hard! xx

I'm glad I got out to enjoy it because we're about to get a ton of rain!

October and November are often our loveliest 'summer' months because the fog abates but it's still warm. It sometimes feels very strange when the clocks go back because the days feel like midsummer but then it goes dark at 5pm.

Just checking back in to say I went to an Italian restaurant and had gnudi this werk, they were very nice, light as a feather, with spinach incorporated and a tomato sauce, without which they might have been a bit bland

I should probably put this on the other thread but I’m here. Vegetarian DD1 came home today so I made Nigel’s roast cabbage with cheese sauce and I was delighted, surprised and quite proud of myself to see that I have unusually made it on almost the correct day! It should have been 14/11 (but actually is a year-round dish in our house)
😂 I use cheddar in the sauce instead of Parmesan, and the cabbage is wedges instead of slices, and I cook it for a bit longer because I like it a bit charred.

Nice work, @SheherazadesSpringNonsense thanks for the reminder on that lovely recipe.

This is me. I have tried for years and years to do everything perfectly. I grew up not celebrating Xmas or
birthdays so I have tried so hard to make everything perfect for my kids. I don’t think they really appreciate it though. They put little effort into presents for me and take all the food prep , cleaning and cooking for granted. I have two adult children and their partners plus two grandchildren staying for two weeks and I’m absolutely dreading it. I just can’t get started with the food prep, the planning or the the shopping for presents. Last year they wanted to do secret Santa and I got a scarf ad my only present. I know it sounds mean but Xmas is all for others and I don’t enjoy it at all anymore. I don’t think I can do this anymore.

I relate to this. Every year the weight of upholding cultural traditions in a modern and increasingly busy world, sits slightly heavier, but it is an expectation on women.
It's my own doing too, not so much seeking perfection, as a desire for the continuation of old ways of life and knowledge, wherever in the world we have been dispersed to, we remain connected by traditions and understandings of what matters to us. Some things fall by the wayside and newer things take their place, but it is a way to keep culture and community when you are spread thin.
I know the importance of any of it will only really kick in when mine get to middle age, and I am metaphorically planting and nurturing saplings to ensure there are mature trees that I will never see, but it feels like a good gift to leave, and I hope they will do the same.

@JellyBabiesmunch My childhood was badly disrupted and Christmas, birthdays and other important celebrations ended. They became forbidden and a lot of very difficult things happened, and of course as a child I was still inevitably drawn to all that was no longer mine to enjoy.
I've been making up for it ever since, but I've learnt to look after my own needs so that I'm not dependent on others to find enjoyment within what is actually a huge amount of preparation and work for women.
If you've created a tradition of you doing all the work for everyone else to enjoy (or your background demands it) and you now dread it, then I think you need to try resetting it all, and start some new traditions of expectations of others to pitch in to helping create it.

@EndlesslyDecluttering I loved the Gnudi recipe, but wasn't in a position to do the sauces. 2nd time around I whipped some fine lemon zest into the ricotta when making, and refrigerated them for 36 hours, and it makes a big difference. Made an asparagus sauce with a tiny amount of capers, white wine, lemon and black pepper, and cooked the Gnudi in salted water with lemon juice.
It sounds a bigger faf than it was, and was worth it for the delicacy of taste and texture.

A random catch up of fortnight in pictures:

London caught between November and heading towards Christmas

Rememberance

Things are running along at pace here and it probably isn't going to get quieter, (NVN) I've been following here but no actual time to post hence the photo bombing, but today I'm finally getting a little time, and hoping to try and catch up the CC thread a bit.🙂

@KrazyboutKillian I just wanted to send you a gentle hug as that definitely sounds very hard and that you don't get much back. I hope you can treat yourself or just take yourself off for a day and leave them to it x

Stunning photographs as always @EphemeraleEudemonia

I'm keeping an eye on this thread and will be starting a new one in the next day or two as I really want it to keep running.

Just come back from a lovely birthday weekend in Exeter. Got some Christmassy bits from Søstrene Greene; shopped till we dropped; took the dogs on a couple of lovely walks and ate and drunk our way around the city

fab photos of the last couple of weeks. @EphemeraleEudemonia

That sounds like a gorgeous weekend, Crushing. A very happy birthday to you!

Gosh - this thread makes for sober reading tonight. Anyone feeling overwhelmed needs to dial right back and be more Nigel. His approach is not about frantic shopping, catering for the hoards or achieving perfection trying to meet everyone’s imagined expectations. Light a candle, find a moment of calm to pour a drink or make a cup of tea and try to think of ways to make everything less frantic. Anyone catering for other adults should not hesitate to delegate tasks - put someone else in charge of dessert/drinks/ snacks whatever - you do not have to do it all. Do what feels manageable and fun - string up some lights, let the kids decorate the tree, it doesn’t have to be perfect. I would welcome a secret Santa one present affair @JellyBabiesmunch and would use my remaining gift budget to buy myself a really lovely candle or Santa Maria Novella soap get them gift wrapped in the shop and put them under the tree for me. Actually some of the nicest Christmas moments can be finding a quiet afternoon to bake your Christmas cake to the accompaniment of some carols (or a bit of Chopin for ultimate Nigel!), gradually putting out a few decorations day by day in the first weeks of December or sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree lights before anyone else is up and catching up with this thread. If Nigel teaches us anything, it’s that it’s not just about one day. Take the pressure off.

I echo @LillianGish, looking after ones well-being is paramount. Moving towards Christmas and beyond Dh and I are facing a huge change in our circumstances. Staying positive is soooo hard, but, I keep going, we are lucky to have a wonderful family, a lovely home and crucially, each other 🤔( after many years😂) so, tonight, very nice piece of gammon, parsley sauce and tasty roasted veg. I'm eternally grateful that Dm taught me to cook! A nice tummy full of proper food, a few candles, a film and an early night with classic fm. True comfort for the soul, I dearly hope everyone else is having a peaceful evening. Much love!

Just taking a moment before getting ready for bed here to post this. It might be a bit naff, but it does also make me stop and think. A lot of us struggle at this time of year for all sorts of reasons (I'm chiding my joints with this damp and cold weather, and asking them why they won't play ball!)

Nodding in agreement at wise words.

A happy time has been spent resetting the dresser. The kitchen is a work in progress but all in the right direction.

I'm sure this is the reality of many, which is sad. I have a range of ages, so still have younger children, as well as late teens and early 20's, so some on the cusp of adulthood really. But I don't think I have the patience to be taken for granted by adult children and so as @EphemeraleEudemonia and @LillianGish suggested, could you delegate tasks at all? Explain in a gentle way how exhausting you find it and could one couple bring the turkey and the other desserts?
I think suggesting changes to any traditions, you will always run the risk of upsetting somebody, but by the tone of your message, you can't carry on like you are, it's not fair to yourself. And it will feel awkward initially, but people can adapt to change quite well. They may even think you enjoy it and would hate to think of being the cause of your stress?
Lovely words about winter @RainbowZebraWarrior and photos @EphemeraleEudemonia xx

We had the first frost on the car windscreen this morning. It made me feel quite festive x

It’s cold! And blue skies. My favourite weather and about time too. DH loves warm weather and thinks I am unhinged but it makes me feel alive

What a day! Have a feeling it’s going to be one of those weeks. Where the AA has to be called out and you open a birthday present from MIL. Some earrings which aren’t really me but have to be really gracious and say how lovely they are. And it’s only Monday. Lovely flowers from dp, will post a picture when they have opened up more

I feel Christmas is such a double edged sword. I have 'done' Christmas for such a long time. I was a lone parent when my DD was small, my parents were my biggest support and cheerleaders. I then met my wonderful Dh, even then the parentals still willingly took DD for lots of lovely holidays etc, I always felt that having Christmas with DD was their 'reward' for their kindness and help. Now, I am the grandmother, my parents are very old and need care, I would love to have Christmas Day with it just being DH and me, I think my DD would dearly love a day just with her little family, then of course it becomes a 'be careful what you wish for' moment.

Lovely china collection there @Bimblesalong !

Oh no. Hope your week gets better. Would love to see the flowers when they open up x

@Bimblesalong Love your dresser. I suppose it is one of the up sides of getting the kitchen done; getting stuff sorted. I'm not looking forward to having to find someone to move my dresser and potentially having it in the kitchen for a week while my conservatory roof gets replaced.

I'm going to start the continuation thread later today just so that it's done and ready to go.

Will post the link soon.