Year round Nigel Slater discussion thread Part 2

[RainbowZebraWarrior]

Hello, all and welcome to this lovely space for our continued chats.

A bit of background for anyone not familiar with this topic:

The Nigel Slater Christmas Chronicles readalong usually takes place here between November and February each year (the Christmas Chronicles being a book written by Nigel Slater full of winter recipes and anecdotes) It's been running for a few years, and the contributors have collectively decided it would be nice to have it running all year round.

So here it is. It is a place to appreciate all things Nigel-esque. Think seasonal food and recipes, enjoyment of nature, gardening, appreciation of the weather, and sharing of news and small moments of joy. It's a calm, cosy space for gentle chat and merriment so pull up a deckchair, grab a drink and relax.

A very hearty welcome to friends new and old!

Thank you as always for your wise and eloquent words @EphemeraleEudemonia and you are absolutely right of course. I could see it was taking off and it felt a bit like 100 people trying to cram into a small room for a book club when you only expected a dozen. I have the time to post / host, just not the will to have conversations I've had before. (How do teachers do this every year with a new set of pupils?) 🤔

The lovely reastie has ran the Christmas bargain threads for years, but rarely actually 'comments' and that's the way to do it.

Anyhow, I had no further obligations today after the school run so I am in the kitchen making chilli jam with candles lit and the radio on. It's a favourite activity of mine as I can make it with my eyes closed. I made it weekly for decades as I sold it at market and then in my café. It's a gentle activity, but makes me feel productive. It's also finally used the tomatoes up. I've made a 'huge' Greek Salad for this evening with the rest in a Final Goodbye to Summer 😊

Good Afternoon, I have come out of hiding to join the thread, I'v been lurking all year and feel I know you all, I'm in need of soul soothing very much right now and this small corner of the internet has hit the spot and I thank you all for it from the bottom of my heart. X

Hello @thebabessavedme lovely to have you here. I've just noticed that we are on page 38, so I've popped a note in my diary to check next week as I shall definitely be keeping the thread running 😊

Thank you RZW, Have a lovely day.

I’ve been a bit awol - half term and a very good trip to Berlin and then an unusual amount of work and staying off all the socials because of traitors spoilers! I’ve just skimmed to try to catch up. Love the horse info and @IngenTing ‘s hoar frost pictures.
We still haven’t had a frost! It is weirdly warm. I’ve been lighting the wood burner but more because DH is on an energy-saving drive but I still have tomatoes and courgettes in the garden, and the dahlias are at long last making a bit of an effort. It feels wrong and I don’t know what to wear as I feel I should be in woolies and hats but actually it is almost t-shirt temperatures.
I can’t possibly catch up with the CC thread. I’ll just pick up where I left off. Sorry you are finding a bit dull @RainbowZebraWarrior - maybe time to pass the baton?

Hello @thebabessavedme , glad to see you’ve pulled up a comfy seat to the fire.

We’ve been so busy here but, I hope, have a quieter couple of days, albeit in an upside down house due to the kitchen refit.

I’m wandering round sniffing my wrist as I was given a sample of Santa Maria Novella “incense” perfume when I purchased my recent melangrano products. It smells gorgeous but too expensive for me right now!

We went for a country drive today - the trees and countryside are absolutely stunning in our county right now.

The colours are stunning here too @Bimblesalong I drive 10 miles cross country to work and at this tome of year it is amazing. Even more so of we get cold sunny misty mornings but it is unseasonably warm here too, I still haven't worn socks more than a couple of times and am going out in just a teeshirt at lunchtimes.

@RainbowZebraWarrior I totally get what you mean about both the CC book and the thread, I do still love listening to the book but it does feel
like Groundhog Day talking about the same chapters every year on MN. Also I have been on the Flylady threads for donkey's years and we take turns each month to post the daily updates and it does get fatiguing, I can manage two consecutive months at the absolute most before needing a total break, especially in Jan when it geys very busy.

I got my cake and pudding recipes out today to check what ingredients I need to buy, I am sticking with Nigel for pudding but using a different cake recipe this year. I also bought cards and stamps, I know on MN it is fashionable to sneer at card-sending and it is expensive but I do like the Nigel thing of getting out my fountain pen and writing them. Just not as many as I used to.

Thank you @EndlesslyDecluttering it's made me feel so much better that you've said the same. I have gotten over myself after perhaps feeling a bit down earlier in the week, but at the bottom line is tbat of course it isn't really new or exciting any more. I still have my favourite chapters though, and the general chat is still nice. Ah, Christmas cards. It makes me so sad that so many people don't bother any more. It started happening years ago when I worked in large offices, and now the neighbours barely bother at all barring the older ones. I actually think it's a little bit of a selfish and lazy modern day attitude personally.

I'm reminded of the Janet and Roy round Robin threads on MN from years ago.

Exactly the same with Flylady, it is more or less the same every month with different steps every day and I have favourites and ones I snigger at, overall it works but if it wasn’t for the chat (and some of the other posters are now real life friends) I’m not sure if I would have stuck at it.

Wrong thread 🙄

@RainbowZebraWarrior oh my, Janet and Roy. Happy memories! I must get my cards written for family overseas. It’s creeping up!

It’s strange to have been frost free, @SheherazadesSpringNonsense . I have cut most of the dahlias right back today, as I read that lifting after the first frost is the thing. I’m hoping we will be ok for a couple of weeks. Realistically, we are not going to be putting things back into the kitchen until next weekend and we have a whole load of things stacked on the work table in the garage.

I'm pretty sure a few of my new dahlias have some sort of fungus. A couple of them grew with black going through the stems. A couple went brown and carved it early and a few more have clusters of little bobbles on them/little green shoots. Others look normal. I must read up to see what needs to be got rid of. I’ll certainly be better on the labelling next year so I can monitor the successes of the various growers.

@Bimblesalong I picked up this lovely little thing for 50p in a charity shop a few months ago. It's been sitting doing nothing, so I decided to pop a candle in it. It's been puzzling me as to what it was, then this morning an identical one has come up on my Vinted feed (for £15!) Apparently it's a Studio Pottery egg separator (but you likely knew that) I thought it might have been for salt, or some sort of wine aerator

I'm just chuffed that I now know what it is. I was very drawn to it for some reason. It's been sitting on the microwave all these months and I love to pick it up. There's something about the feel of Pottery.

Ah that is fascinating, @RainbowZebraWarrior I can see now what the little slot is for.

Reading about writing Christmas cards has inspired me to buy a fountain pen 😊nothing fancy, only a Parker one, which were the go to brand when I was in school, almost 30 years ago. But it always made me take more care with my handwriting and I hope that it will make the task of writing my Christmas cards feel a little more special and festive 🎄

How lovely. I remember my Mum buying me a Parker pen and a bottle of Anais Anais perfume for my 12th birthday. I felt very grown up!

I’m lurking on the read along thread but very glad we have our quieter gathering here as well.

Here are some very non seasonal pictures from yesterday afternoon’s sunset - it was still 22° and some stunning colours.

I bet you did!! 😁 I remember my new born baby brother bringing his milk up on me one morning before school. We didn't really have time to change, so mum wiped the collar of my school shirt down and sprayed her Anais Anais perfume on me! I, like you, felt very grown up 😊that will have been the September of 1988.

It fascinates me the memories that we retain and that when we were living them, we had no idea that they would stand out as a memory we would refer to 35 years later.

I do try to live in the moment, but I admit that I find it hard at times. But I do think it's a mum thing. If we take Christmas as an example, there's always so much to do, plan, buy, make, cook, most of which often falls on mums, that sometimes it's hard to fully enjoy life as you're living it. When I was a child, Christmas was magical and unknown to me, mum will have been doing exactly the same as we are now, but is it true what they say? Was it easier to be an 80's mum?

But this is the reason that I love this thread, it reminds me to try to stop and enjoy the little things in life and also that there are other women out there like me, who are just trying to do the best the can at any given time. Some days it's easier to do our best than others xx

That first grown-up perfume is such a big deal. Mine was Rive Gauche, which I still think was an excellent choice.

Now that children are teenagers, I'm finding it fast easier to grab those moments of calm and beauty on a regular basis, and can do things because I enjoy them, not too please everyone else. So I've been going to see more theatre/concerts/art, having more days out to lovely places and gradually upgrading the house from "most things are just about functional, hopefully" to "everything works, has a place and a purpose and makes our life better for being in our home".

Gorgeous pics and lovely as always to hear from you. I have to admit that I'm rather jealous of your 22 degrees. Its just endless damp and cold here.

My first grown up perfume was Anais Anais too. Unfortunately for me re Rive Gauche, on the odd occasion we went out for a family meal, Mum would spray herself liberally with Rive Gauche before we got in the car and it would make me feel travel sick/headache, I still as an adult can't bear strong smells in cars (even someone eating mints makes me feel sick) and sadly the merest sniff of RG still makes me heave. I can't tolerate most "proper" perfumes at close quarters and just use light EDTs from M&S or wherever. It is not good if I get stuck next to someone wearing strong fragrance in a cinema or on a plane etc. DD (19) has never wanted to wear fragrance, she was late getting started with make-up and only does minimal skincare etc, she's just not that into it all.

My mum gave me 'l'air du temps' when I was 13, oh I thought I could take on the world!😂What with that and my new outfit from Top Shop. (one of the first that opened)

She still wear Anais Anais. I still don't like it.🤑

"It fascinates me the memories that we retain and that when we were living them, we had no idea that they would stand out as a memory we would refer to 35 years later."

Absolutely this.

"I do try to live in the moment, but I admit that I find it hard at times. But I do think it's a mum thing. If we take Christmas as an example, there's always so much to do, plan, buy, make, cook, most of which often falls on mums, that sometimes it's hard to fully enjoy life as you're living it. When I was a child, Christmas was magical and unknown to me, mum will have been doing exactly the same as we are now, but is it true what they say? Was it easier to be an 80's mum?"

It's interesting as I finally realised by the time DD got to age 6 or 7, how much of a mug I was and I snapped. I looked back and thought I had spent most of Christmas day in the kitchen. I'd get up at 5, start cooking, and have everything done by 11am which I'd then pack into the car and take to my Mum's along with DD at about 11.30. We would have an hour opening gifts at Mum's and then Her Extended Family would descend. They would eat and drink everything and leave with the leftovers. I'd head home at about 5pm and collapse on the sofa. I was really poorly in 2018 with Cellulitis and was somewhat shocked to find that everyone was disappointed not to be getting their every whim catered for as they had come to expect. I told my Mother that she could tell her family to Get Stuffed. I've not cooked for anyone since. Bearing in mind the previous year I was working as a chef in a busy restaurant and then still cooked for everyone on my only day off (Christmas Dinner)

That was the start of me saying No, and I can honestly say I've never looked back. I think it was similar in the 80s for my Mum. She begrudgingly cooked for the ungrateful in laws and would be three sheets to the wind by midday in order to get though it. Of course all the shopping, planning, wrapping and card writing had all been done by her too whislt also working full time. This is why I don't do relationships. I grew up watching women doing all this Wife Work and thought "Nah"

DD and I have a lovely Christmas these days. We do as we wish with absolutely no pressure or expectations.

I think it's hard when you finally realise things about people. A bit bittersweet. You're glad of the 'ah ha' moment, but then sad to learn the truth about how/why people have treated you a certain way. So glad you and DD get your perfect Christmas. Sounds wonderful 😊

It's not so much that I feel taken for granted as such, as much as it is that I've created all this myself. I always wanted everything to be perfect for my children, but in doing that I ended up burned out and not fully enjoying life as I lived it.

But I've definitely come to the realisation that I can't always control what children take from their childhood (or what they remember) and so as long as we have fun, traditions, lots of love, then we all need to enjoy it, not just the kids xx

I'm exactly the same @EndlesslyDecluttering My old boss used to cause me asthma attacks several times a day as she doused herself liberally in some god awful strong perfume before heading off to each meeting. I can't have aerosol sprays in the house.

"I always wanted everything to be perfect for my children, but in doing that I ended up burned out and not fully enjoying life as I lived it.
But I've definitely come to the realisation that I can't always control what children take from their childhood (or what they remember) and so as long as we have fun, traditions, lots of love, then we all need to enjoy it, not just the kids xx"

Yes. I agree with all of this @LovesAutumnLeaves I used to be a perfectionist and a people pleaser. I therefore created the image / illusion of being more than capable and actually, I can't blame folk if they genuinely thought I enjoyed it all because I did (until I didn't) I suppose when you do everything yourself and don't / won't delegate then folk stop asking if you need any help. Then you end up burned out. It was classic martyrdom in my case probably. Its OK to decide not to do it, (in my case my health suffered and I had to start saying No) but other people's reactions in my case seemed to be talking it personally / an affront that the hosting was no longer there. They didn't hear "Zebra isn't well and can't do this any more" they just heard "We don't want you to come for Christmas any more"