"It's the BEST Christmas EVER!!" - aka, the myth of the ever-out-of-reach Platonic Ideal of Insta-Christmas rather than the Good Enough one most of us have (if we're lucky). I cannot express how much I LOATHE this phrase because it's not just words - it gets inside people's heads and screws them over.
"He's been!!" - spare me. (Always uttered by over-excited adults rather than the kids who are the ones who ought to be excited, always on social media, usually captioning photos of bulging stockings/present sacks after the kids are in bed. Anything that involves photos of piles of presents is a no-no anyway.)
"The Big Day"/"The Big Man" FFS (Honourable mention for 'The Man in Red' - what is that anyway, some festive version of Johnny Cash?)
"Crimbo" fuck off. No really - FUCK OFF.
"Crissie Pressies" that goes down the same Fuck Off chute as saying 'choccy biccies', 'drinkies' and 'sarnies'.
"Baby's First Christmas" can get to feck. Either use the definite article or fuck off.
"I got some more bits" - whether this means unnecessary extra presents or 'picky bits' it can get in the sea.
"It's the MOST Wonderful TIME of the YEAR" - whether sung by Andy Williams or on that sodding summer holidays ad, I just have a massive aversion to both the phrase, and the song. Makes my fingers clench into claws.
"Magic ...." Magic-anything. it is not fecking magic, it's mostly ME.
"Hot choc with the Works" - we all know it's brown sugar with the faintest hint of cocoa and some cheap marshmallows and synthetic cream out of an aerosol. And you can put them the same place you may stick all those gingerbread lattes. I succumb just once every season to a gingerbread latte before remembering that they are sweet enough to turn your teeth inside out and nowhere near as nice as they ought to be.
'Gin-gle bells'/Ho-ho-ho-secco' anything like that, writ in glitter on a sweatshirt/t-shirt/wine glass etc. I loathe sexist drinks coding anyway. Men don't have to put up with 'Weeeee!sky' or 'Bwahahabeer' or whatever.
"Making Christmas Memoreeeees" hon. Oh god.
Christmas Eve Boxes which HAVE to contain a DVD (despite nobody (apart from us luddites in this household) using DVDs to watch ANYTHING these days ), cheap hot chocolate (sorry, hot choc) sachets, and new Crimbo PJs from the Elf. What did we do before Christmas Eve Boxes?
Fuck me that was cathartic! 
Thank you.