Neorodiverse & disorganised mums Christmas solidarity thread!

[AnyoneGotATimeMachine]

Roll up! Frazzled, disorganised people welcome over here!

Every bloody year I promise myself I'll get it done earlier.

But, I still have a mountain of tidying to do before I can even think about decorating or wrapping. The poor tree has been sitting in the garden for 2 days.

Not one room is usable yet.

Hoping to make last posting day tomorrow but that depends on me remembering where I stashed the presents!

But it'll all be alright on the night, won't it?! 5 days is plenty of time to sort out a crazy untidy house finish all my shipping, cards and posting and decorating, right, right?

I'm just hoping the last-minute ADHD panic superpower kicks in soon!

How are you all doing out there? Despite your best intentions, has Christmas snuck up on you again?

Yes! The only deadline is christmas day and that's too far in advance for me because Christmas eve is too late to run round doing everything 😁

Plus supermarkets and shops are sensory nightmares , all year i avoid as much as i can but you can't at this time of year. i take my ear buds and listen to music in one ear while I'm going round the shops which really helps me to cope with how busy it is, otherwise i lose my mind with people walking too slow/long queues etc.

oh and i have done the tree
i feel far less stressed now

Wonder if I can join for some solidarity and commiserations.

It's 4 days (almost 3) to go and I just keep getting more and more poorly.

There are presents still to be wrapped, the big food shop to do, some furniture to bring round (which DP will do but that means I'm alone with the kids), and I'm prepping and cooking dinner.

I've been ill for ages, first cough/cold, now a chest infection, and I'm feeling so rough this evening I'm also nauseous. I just literally don't have time to feel like this and it's really getting me down.

The thought of going to the supermarket, let alone cooking for mine and the extended family, is filling me with dread, when usually I'm so happy! Roll on boxing day when all food is made, all presents have been delivered and opened, and everybody is playing with their new things and giving me time for a nap 😴

Just done my Tesco shop, it's coming tomorrow so I only had until 11pm to do it. There will almost definitely be things I've missed and I think I've gone overboard on pudding type things but I've got the main bits...providing nothing is out of stock.

I made the decision a few years ago not to do cards and since then I don't feel as guilty. I get a slight twang when a card turns up but much less than before I made the decision.

Well done on the tree @Marshtit. I put mine up but let my 7 and 10yo decorate it. I usually love to do it but I just can't get my head in the game.

I've been stashing my boy's presents all over the place, I'll probably forget to wrap something.

We have decided last minute to visit family in-between Christmas and new year (we were going in early January) so I'm now panicking as I've got no presents for my parents yet and no ideas either, I can't ask them because it will be obvious I haven't bought yet and my mum is SO organised. I only posted her card on Friday and she is obsessed with cards.

I still need to buy Christmas food and treats. I can't believe it's the 21st and we aren't eating After8s!

Annoyingly it will never get better as November and December are my busiest work months so nothing will change.

Haven't read whole thread sorry. Too much to catch up on.

Am feeling MUCH more relaxed. Xmas food order all done and sorted. Found a great present for DH which I could print out from the internet and which he will love (which will make him feel bad since apparently all his presents for me are jokes, but oh well - I feel less like a shit wife now!)

I think I could do with another couple of stocking presents, but that is NBD as SIL has sent loads of tiny things so can defo nick a couple of those if necessary. I get stressed over this because shops close all day on Sundays, Monday I'll struggle to find a spot to leave, and then they close at noon on Christmas Eve.

DH will pick up SIL and BIL on Monday eve, we have enough bedding (sorted today) and everything else can be sorted. Could do with cleaning a little more but nothing huge. They are relaxed enough we won't be stressing anyway. Yay

@LillyLeaf can you do a photo gift type thing? Like family photo calendar/magnets/photobook of the year. Those can sometimes be ordered online and picked up in store somewhere they do photos (like Boots). Or you can create some instant things in store if you have time to do it.

Or taking inspo from my last minute DH gift - tickets for something? I got my mum an Alpaca walk voucher one year and she thought it was brilliant

DH also usually does the amazon 30-day Prime trial starting on about 25th Nov so we get all the free fast delivery for Christmas, then he ignores all the hassling you to sign up the rest of the year and they offer the free trial again eventually.

The tree is up!!!

Knackering day, I'm done for now! Got a fair amount done. Not reached the peak of the mountain yet, but getting there...

6 Music is playing Uptown Top Ranking (showing my age 😅) and I've started on the Christmas treats. At this particular moment in time, all is good 😍

Night all x

I’m starting to panic! I have most things in, just need to get 2 or 3 more gifts, a few add ons and some stocking bits.

I have not wrapped one single thing! I’m hoping to get at least 90% of it done today.

I need to go for the ‘big shop’, ideally on Monday or if not Tuesday.

My house has stuff everywhere, including my room being overtaken by Amazon boxes, and I need to give everything a quick clean. I’m dreading this part most.

I really just want to relax and do things with the kids. Every year I say that I will make sure everything is done earlier and never do. It’s so disheartening. My ADHD is out of control, so now, because I also have ASD, I will likely end up very overwhelmed with the last minute rush and have a meltdown…

Lots of sympathy for you all. I’m glad I’ve found you though.
I have so much to do today before leaving for a holiday tomorrow. Holiday for which, I discovered yesterday, I hadn’t finished organising. You’ll understand the pattern. Dog sitter, airport parking, fish food, are the passports actually in the ‘usual place’, right clothes washed and in the right places, so much more.
And it was the only free day to say yes to friends coming over. As they know me very well, it is a precisely timed visit with already agreed arrival/ departure times, so I can plan around it. This is all also for DS who needs to know exactly when things will happen.
I have probably 20 hours of tasks to fit into 12 hours. DH is working until this evening. I need to be finished and ready for an evening of early presents before setting off tomorrow.
All first world problems, I know! But I used to get so depressed about myself at Christmas, before ADHD diagnosis. It’s nice to find some people who get it!
PS - anyone else find any of last year’s (actually I think 2022) lost presents while hiding or finding this years?

Yes! I found a parcel with a couple of books I'd got for DH possibly 2 years ago.

Also a present which I bought for DS last year and then lost, but I really wanted to give it to him so I bought another.

It's quite niche. I think I'll ask DS if any of his friends with the same niche interest would want it.

Good luck for today! Wishing you a visit from UnimaginableWindBird's Christmas Hyperfocus Pixie to get you through!

I'm hoping to do some of the baking stuff I wish I was doing today after Christmas.

Probably too late for the Christmas crafts but Christmas biscuits will still be in season I reckon.

Most things in and just 2 or 3 gifts to go is brilliant, sounds to me like you're doing really well to me 😊

I hate cleaning with a passion, my head sometimes goes to some dark places (mostly to do with shame over the state of things, which makes no sense as by cleaning I'm actually doing something about it.)

Do you listen to stuff while you clean? I've found having a podcast on or music, or a TV programme I don't need to really watch much, it helps keep me on a level and focused on the cleaning.

OK, time to get off Mumsnet and get to it!

Another mountain to climb today. I need to have the front room and dining room usable by tonight, or I just don't know how I'll fit everything in by Christmas.

Must remember to amend the Christmas supermarket order today as it's due tomorrow. I was so pleased for remembering to book a slot, I really mustn't mess it up by forgetting to actually put our full Christmas shop on it!

Good luck everyone for today. You can do it! 😊

Hi , I’ve got too tidy the dining room , I can’t listen to music while I clean , or I get distracted.

@JC03745 Just read through this and your post really made me laugh. I salute your MIL as in a moment of panic I’ve shoved the family’s presents under the tree in an assortment of ‘happy birthday’ and ‘new baby’ present bags as I absolutely cannot gift for love nor money and I forgot to buy Christmas-themed gift bags.

I also went to 3 different supermarkets yesterday and, despite having a list and an online shopping order, I’ve still forgotten to buy most of the things we need. I’ve just seen that our local Burger King is open until 11pm on Christmas Day. Very tempted to just go there for all our meals (DC will be delighted).

45, perimenopausal, suspected ADHD, cannot be arsed

@JC03745

I think the Burher King idea sounds perfect. Maybe make it a family tradition!

I was blindsided by daughters key stage transfer and her ehcp review so in the first weeks of December that has frozen me, made me hyper focused on that. So now, dospite washing every day, I have six loads to wash!

I have sorted out a speed darks, speed lights, bedding, normal cycle lights and also darks. Might bag it up until after Christmas as I also have about 4 loads already to dry hanging in my windows.

I am not doing this next year! I have also downloaded two housework apps for the new year.

I need to

1. gather up the Christmas food as I bought some early and now no idea where it is, 2)tidy living room and table
2. do a list of food and presents yet to buy
3. wrap presents
4. work out how to dry 500 loads of washing at once that can't be tumble dried

I try so hard to be organised but I end up being organised with things that don’t really matter and I try so hard I start to buy early then hide things then forget and buy more and now I have too much and I still have stuff sitting in the cupboards from previous years that I forgot or lost and was too much and I keep thinking I should really box it all up for charity but then I am never organised enough for that.
I even bought gifts to send early, but still always post my parcels too late and pay extra for fast delivery and then it is still late.
I just am so frustrated with myself that I can’t be a better grown up 😭

Do you hang them to dry?

I put my drying on a hanger and hang off a door frame - choosing a room where it's ok to keep the door open for ages.

I don't quite understand why, but they seem to dry overnight like this just as well as on a radiator. And you can fit more on.

As an aside, why are so many clothes non-dryer these days? I'm not imagining it am I? It's more than it used to be isn't it? (Unless I'm just better at reading labels these days. Possible...)

Have you got ADHD / have you thought about it as a possibility?

I beat myself up much less now I know it's ADHD making things difficult, not just me being crap.

ADHD here...should have been buying Xmas presents yesterday and decided to get 4 more ear piercings as I walked past the shop...did not get the presents I needed! Everyone in the household is ND (mix of autism and ADHD)...there are 10 of us..

I was doing pretty well today - i took an inventory (!) and made a list of what else we need present wise and sent dh off to get it, and i got going on cleaning the kitchen which as someone above said, comes with an unhealthy dose of beating myself up about the state of the cupboard doors etc as they really are bad. Then halfway through, one of my dc has a meltdown about his computer game and lobbed the controller across the room - controller then stopped working so he had another meltdown about the fact it didn't work so i had a meltdown too. Yay.

He's got a habit of throwing controllers and it makes me go 0-1000 in 0.00001 seconds. Normally I'm pretty patient for someone with adhd/asd but that hits every button in one go.

Afternoon of wrapping presents yay.

Hi I have never been diagnosed but-
have had mental health problems on and off my whole life and my most recent visit to GP he said he feels there is something worth getting diagnosed and we talked and it made sense. So I have referrals and will go down a diagnosis route etc.

friends and family have commented for years, but even before there was as much knowledge as today so for example they would tell me I am socially awkward, or hyper or mental or have a unique way of looking at the world so they always loved my weird so that part always felt positive but I never connected to my mental health issues and being bullied at school until more recently.

and I would sometimes get offended before when people at work would ask if I was adhd or on the spectrum or ocd but now I am ready to hear it and understand it better and know that they weren’t judging me so it’s ok.
(high school was the hardest in terms of no friends etc but when I went to uni I met some people while me for me and still to this day)
telling friends and family what the GP said they’ve all been like yeh I’m not surprised good for you etc and now when they tell
me things it feels more like a relief and they just really know me