Neorodiverse & disorganised mums Christmas solidarity thread!

[AnyoneGotATimeMachine]

Roll up! Frazzled, disorganised people welcome over here!

Every bloody year I promise myself I'll get it done earlier.

But, I still have a mountain of tidying to do before I can even think about decorating or wrapping. The poor tree has been sitting in the garden for 2 days.

Not one room is usable yet.

Hoping to make last posting day tomorrow but that depends on me remembering where I stashed the presents!

But it'll all be alright on the night, won't it?! 5 days is plenty of time to sort out a crazy untidy house finish all my shipping, cards and posting and decorating, right, right?

I'm just hoping the last-minute ADHD panic superpower kicks in soon!

How are you all doing out there? Despite your best intentions, has Christmas snuck up on you again?

Morning everyone! How are we all doing?

Does anyone know how to make time slow down a bit?! I swear it runs faster as Christmas gets nearer!

Going to try to get the cards done today, and get the Christmas tree in. It's still outside, I'm half way through moving furniture to make space for it.

I WFH and I'm meant to be at work today but am basically going to take a fair chunk of the day off to get stuff done at home. I don't feel remotely guilty about this, I've had a great year workwise, I loften work over my hours, most of my colleagues are on holiday already including my boss who's more concerned with results that clock watching, thank goodness.

Mind you, I tried the same approach yesterday and found myself procrastinating from tidying by getting absorbed in doing a load of stuff at work I really didn't need to start until the new year! Weird how the ADHD brain works! Oh well, I'll have an easy start to the year for once 😂

Yes, this has happened here several years. I've also posted them after Christmas before, on the basis at least they knew I didn't forget about them!

Now I go to the post office and buy the stamps there and then. Having said that, I haven't actually started writing them!

Must remember to get the DC to sign cards for relatives before they go to school. (We have a small family, won't take long, I just have to remember to ask them!)

So happy to find this thread, thank you! Christmas is when my ADHD (diagnosed 2020 in my forties), is at is most apparent. Used to really, really upset me before I knew about the ADHD. In my head I could, and wanted to, do it all - my time blindness is crazy - so I’d beat myself up and get so stressed about it all.
I used to be a teacher too, so school Christmas always took precedence over home stuff, with me thinking I’d be able to get it sorted when I broke up.
Now I understand, and feel better, even if I’m still disorganised!
We’ve really cut down on presents and only do a few token things for DH’s family (did those and visited early December) and then it’s only really the children.
But, I ordered what I thought was ‘enough’ a couple of weeks ago. All hidden round my bedroom not even unpacked, so I can’t remember what there is. DD is amazing and just sends me a list with links, numbered in order of preference (ASC). DS (ADHD) can’t make choices and would have forgotten what he’d asked for by now anyway. I have no idea what I’ve got him!
I have a few hours in town this afternoon without DC, where I can get some last bits. I’ll have to look at the presents this morning.
I’ve never managed not to be wrapping on Christmas Eve.
This year we’re going on holiday, so no cooking and food planning.
This is all typical for me really, but more obvious at Christmas because the stakes are higher I guess.
Mostly I’m at peace with it all now. Just need to keep energy for supporting DS. I forget how hard it used to be for DD but she/ we are great at managing what she needs now.

Sorry for long post.

TLDR: ADHD makes Christmas hard!

It is hard and having ND children makes it harder still. DS2 (6) is in assessment ATM for ADHD and ASD so we have the appt to discuss that in the new year. Managing his dysregulation on top of everything else is 🤯

Luckily we now live abroad, so cards aren't a thing. We sometimes do the American approach and send a photo card with the DC to family. That's about it though. And I have totally missed any deadline for that this year.

Christmas 2017 and 2020 I was in the very early/beginning stages of pregnancy and so sick and tired that DH basically did everything - those were great years

It's so annoying how much stress is self inflicted! I've been buying presents randomly and was actually motivated the other day to wrap them, however I realised upon wrapping that 1 child has way more than the other 2 and in fact I'd only bought 2 presents for the youngest. I've started buying more and trying to wrap as they come in but what I need to do is get them all of of the cupboard and look at the piles to see what's actually there...I still haven't done this despite thinking about it on and off for days.

I've been good and put up most of the decs but the dusty boxes which they were all in are still in the middle of the living room.

Nothing will ever be as bad as the year I forgot to wrap most of the presents until late on Xmas eve, then ran out of sellotape and had to use parcel tape. That's always my benchmark for how bad things could be.

No need to panic just yet. I have just had a visit from the Christmas Hyperfocus Pixie, so I'm expecting to have everything bought and (if necessary) posted before I head into work at lunchtime.

I am incredibly disorganised at home as spend all energy keeping it together at work/work long hours also. What helps me is limiting presents to want need wear read for Christmas for the kids and I make a list on my phone mid year of what I will get for each then tick it off as it is bought. I buy wrapping paper after the sales and then wrap as I go and hide in boxes, otherwise I end up doing all the wrapping on Christmas Eve. I also buy a food kit box because it means I don’t have to worry about the food for Christmas Day. Finished at work now so just to have to tidy the house!

Me too!

No rooms are tidy, haven't shopped. Have double booked for when I pick up the food shop.

I don't want to get the tree out of the box, I over focussed on it last year - tool me 5 hours to put it neatly BACK in the box.

No clean dishes, no where to put the tree. And the meds shortages mean I haven't been medicated for months, so am overwhelmed and low in mood.

I'm jealous! Can you please send the Christmas Hyperfocus Pixie this way when she's done at yours?!

I'm kinda relying on her putting in an appearance here, but no luck yet...

I'm sorry you're feeling overwhelmed, it's shit isn't it xx

Do you have a day that you can go shopping?

Some of the online sellers are still delivering before Christmas in case that's helpful? I've still got stuff to buy and have got lots from Amazon.

Amazon prime membership is great for last minute deliveries.

Fuck, have just received a parcel from my lovely, lovely friends who send thoughtful gifts for all the family. They do this EVERY year, but I'd forgotten again.

So I need to buy 4 thoughtful presents in time to post!

Today's the last day for 1st class but looks like there's still a couple of increasingly expensive options, Saturday and then Monday.

Hmm... Thinking out loud... Don't think I have time to get into town .. if I order online today and it gets here tomorrow or Sunday, then it can go on Monday. Will try to order (thoughtful!) things that aren't too heavy so the postage isn't astronomical!

Undiagnosed, but I feel your pain. Instead of trying to get the house in order I'm on mumsnet 😬.
@AnyoneGotATimeMachine if you go on to the Christmas thread and give your friends' interests and ask for suggestions, there's very helpful advice over there. You might even pick up a few bargains.
Edited to add https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/christmas/5233451-the-one-with-christmas

I think it's time to prioritise.

For me, it would be wrapping kid's gifts, getting the tree up and tidying the main room you'll use, even if you use the box of doom method (doom = didn't organise, only moved).

That's enough, and if you end up with extra time you can do extra things. But driving yourself to do the impossible will ruin the next week.

My house is already full of doom boxes

But you're totally right, it's time fo DOOM mode!

My priorities are (in no particular order)

• cards & parcel for the ILs (today)
• tidy front room, dining room & hall (DOOM mode activated!)
• get tree up
• tidy rest of house (DOOM!)
• decorate house
• finish buying presents and other things we need
• Monday - pick up food (we ordered some things pre-made, cheating!) & be in for supermarket delivery
• Get off Mumsnet long enough to get stuff done 😂

If time:

• get ribbon for wrapping
• wrap beautifully instead of utilitarian in a hurry(never get time to do this but I live in hope. Actually something I'd enjoy, given time)
• erm...

I'm meant to be writing cards but have choice paralysis over stockings (can't find ours so am going to buy new ones).

The choice is between two checked bags that can be used for other things, potentially. Medium size. The DC are teen and pre-teen so maybe they'll like something a bit more grown up?

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DJ6S94RC/ref=sspa_dk_detail_5

Or XL, Christmas print. Larger is possibly more practical on the day as they will be able to put other gifts in them once unwrapped to take back up to their rooms. More Christmassy is nice. (But less versitile for all year?)

www.amazon.co.uk/TRIXES-Santa-Sack-Large-Red/dp/B08HM5MP3L/ref=sr_1_4

WWYD?

I've done most of the Christmas present shopping and now have to wrap it. I've done 2 so far and totally failed to cut the paper to the correct size. I went off in a huff and made the mincemeat.

I have until Monday to finish the wrapping with no help from DH as he has done most of the other prep such as decorations and flavoured alcohols.

I don't know if you're neurodiverse or can relate, but with ADHD basically the only way I can find the motivation to get stuff done is when panic mode is activated.

(There's brian chemistry behind this - apparently neurotypical people get rewarded by their brains with dopamine for completing tasks but ADHD people don't and need other stimulatian e.g. the adrenaline from panic to get enough motivation to get tasks done. Or something like that. Makes sense to me anyway!).

So, whatever I do or don't get done, I know the next few days will be a hell of too may things to do in too little time. It's the ONLY way I know how to get things done, and I accept it and am braced for it. I do events as part of my job - I don't think I've done a major event on a full night's sleep - ever! I'm always up late the night before getting stuff done. It's just the way it is for me. I know it doesn't make logical sense but beating myself up for it doesn't work. Nor, promising myself that this time I'll get it all done earlier. (Although I am a sucker for believing that). I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if I wasn't battling sleep deprivation on the day of an event 😂The adrenaline gets me though though.

Whatever isn't done by Christmas can just wait. We'll have a lovely day, I'll just be a little frazzled, but nothing new there!

I'm undiagnosed but strongly suspect I have autism. I struggle with organisation, but more with changes to plans.

My house is somehow a mess despite me having tidied in it November, which seems somehow unfair! Today I've decided I'm not sending cards, no time and I don't want to do it enough

Am trying to rope dp and the dc into a big tidy tonight!

Yep, you are thinking of INCUP. We need:

Interest
Novelty
Challenge
Urgency
Passion

to be able to do things. It's why so many of us fly by the seat of our pants because the challenge of doing everything we need once it's urgent enough, gives us the ability to Do The Thing.

In other news, my DS9 has been winding me up all week and made me think Christmas Day was on Tuesday. For the avoidance of all doubt, Christmas Day is on WEDNESDAY. I've been panicking thinking I only really had Sunday to sort out shopping and now I've gained an extra day. 😂

Oh wow, the relief!

I wish I had an extra day! Or a time machine...

I've not heard of INCUP before, but that's it, spot on!

Yes I'm hoping the DC will help. Whether that happens in any useful way remains to be seen, but they do sometimes surprise me so I'm hopeful!

I just finished all the cards and wrapping presents that need posting, phew! Just in time for last post today, hopefully. DP has taken them along to the post office just now.

I feel guilty as he wanted to go into town after posting the things, but there's no chance now and he says he doesn't want to go in tomorrow when it'll be packed.

Luckily he's pretty laid back and won't try to make me feel guilty about it, but that makes me feel worse in a way!

I have ASD and ADHD. I need to wrap the dc presents still but I’ve been so busy. Had to go to the hospital for 2 appointments today and now need to go to bed and will probably need tomorrow in bed too as it was really overwhelming (lots of blood tests and a biopsy and I hate needles )

(Probably) ASD here... Presents are all wrapped, sorted, organised and hidden away. Cards have been written and posted. Food is ordered. Packing lists are made.

BUT

House is a mess. I'm totally exhausted, like bone tired exhausted. I'm stressed about the upcoming unstructured days. I'm getting anxious about not being able to fit in all my traditional Christmas things (certain books, films etc).

Happy Christmas 🎄

DC's father does usually wrap presents but he includes the postage packaging as part of the gift.
So you unwrap a present to find an opened Amazon box, or delivery bubble envelope, or the store bag etc, and then the gift inside in all its plastic or however it came.

It cracks me up every time.