Does this look equal? I’m panicking for no reason I’m sure but please help

[Positivenancy]

OK, so attached I have a picture of my DC’s Christmas gifts laid out on the bed! I definitely think the left-hand pile looks like more and it is more, 22 in total but some v v small, compared to the other pile which is 14.

Now their dad does have some gift for them also that we will add to those piles. I just don’t know how many he has for each of them, so assuming he has equal amounts that means my DD will still have more. Maybe I should get my a few other small things like a pack of football cards etc?!

1st world problem I know!!
also I don’t do stockings…so this is it.
help 🤣😅

No one probably spend similar amounts

@Iwishicouldflyhigh why wrap things like that

Your kids will be too busy opening their presents to notice.
It's fine!

I completely understand wanting things equal. I like to equalise in terms of quantity, price, perceived value and volume. It is completely pointless - one DC rips into everything in a whirlwind then goes back to absorb it all, the other opens slowly, appraising each item as he goes. So they never take the same length of time.

However, I don't want them to walk into the room, see two piles, and have a moment of fleeting mild disappointment when they realise which is theirs.

I also don't like to mix up santa gifts with presents under the tree. With those presents, I want to make sure they are noting who they are from before opening.

I would just sellotape some of the smaller ones together to equal the number.

I didn't get a stocking growing up either; I got enormous amount of wrapped gifts as did my siblings. It was equal for the two of us close in age.

I do a stocking of unwrapped mostly low value but useful items and try to stick to two big wrapped gifts; one from Santa and one from us and wrapped selection box each. But usually some stuff I've bought fails to fit in the stocking so get wrapped up too. It usually ends up around 5 gifts each but an uneven number and uneven value as one year one might need a bike or electronic item whilst the other one needs nothing so gets a good toy. They don't compare (not close in age) and once finished opening their gifts will get up close to someone else to see what is in their gifts. They are privileged kids who don't get bought random toys through the year but never want for anything they need and get a lot of money spent on their hobbies and trips.

Because it’s what I choose to do?

Surely wrapping things makes everything a bit more fun, i couldn’t imagine not wrapping

@Positivenancy everything about the presents in your house seem to be about how you want it to be, so the equal number of presents, all being wrapped, no stocking etc. You yourself said your DC don’t care about the number of gifts being even and you will buy extra stuff, even if not asked for, to ensure the number of gift wrapped items are the same.

Children find it exciting to delve into a stocking or a sack to pick something out, its doesn’t need to be wrapped. If you use a gift bag for a present do you wrap it as well?

Sorry if someone has already suggested this, but is there anything you would have to buy anyway for the child who you feel has been slightly short-changed that could become a present? School supplies or clothes, maybe.

Once children have got past the finding the packaging more exciting than the present stage, they really don’t care about wrapping paper

Well @crumblingschools of course it’s about what I want and what I’m used to because I’m the mother in the house running Christmas so I’ll run it my way? Is that ok? YOUR children might like a stocking, mine don’t know any different, we have our own traditions. But thank you!

You don't need to buy more for the heck of it. Unless every present each person opens is focused on I doubt they would notice.
If there was half a dozen or less than yes that would be different but it's not.
Bulking out gift piles IMHO is a waste and won't be noticed or make a difference to their experience.

50 really isn't that many there's only 1 main present each a few medium and then bulked out with treats or things they need like clothes, books, craft stuff. I don't buy stuff throughout the year for them very often so by the time Christmas comes around they need stuff and I wrap everything individually like a pack of felt tip pens, play dough, nail varnish, books, games, hair accessories, chocolate/sweets i would say 75% of their presents are less then a fiver each. But it just makes it more fun on Christmas morning for them to have lots to unwrap. Then they have a stocking with about 10 things each things like chocolate coins, things from pound land a small teddy, bathbombs etc

The stuff that I buy is similar yes, clothing, pjs, body wash etc the need a lot of the things I get them. It’s not all toys at all!!

We go around opening presents one at a time so it would be really obvious if someone had a lot more even if they where smaller as we would finish as a group and they would have loads left to open so would just be sat watching them open the remained which would be really awkward.

I guess if you do the all at once tearing frenzy thing theres a possibility they might not notice.

Me and DH also didn't have stockings growing up (well not as more than decoration). Maybe if they remembered someone put a selection box in it.

I do them now for our kids because I love whimsy and introducing new things but its just silly little things, less than £10 for the whole stocking, half sweets and half £1 items and they are all kept down stairs. I'm not creeping around bedrooms risking waking them up.

Stocking people can be REALLY weird about gatekeeping 'their way' being the right and only way though. Same with the faux outrage of those that don't do Christmas eve boxes insisting they never existed before because its not something they did. Almost like we all do things differently lol.

Another one that blows some peoples minds, in our childhood presents where on the sofa not under the tree and shock horror NOT wrapped.

@housethatbuiltme do the adults have the same number of presents as children? How does it work if someone has more presents? When we have MIL and DM here for Xmas there is a distinct difference in the number of presents as much more extended family on MIL’s side of the family compared to DM. So much so we tend to open some presents before DM comes for lunch otherwise the difference in piles would be noticeable but we don’t open presents in turn. Also some people don’t like being watched opening presents

Well I never had that growing up (80s/90s) it was a stuffed stocking and a big pile. A big pile of presents if it’s all plastic tat isn’t great but if it’s consumables and necessities what’s the harm? It can even be second hand stuff. Things like, dependant on age, needed things like clothes, books, shower gel/ soap/ bath bomb, toothbrush, bobbles, hair clips, lip balm, sweets and chocolate, stationery and craft items, baking or cooking items, a card or board game or jigsaw, themed bath towel or bedding, cosmetics, skincare, perfume, body spray, a yoto card or Tonie, if they don’t own any yet things like luggage, headphones, water bottle, reusable coffee cup, and yes maybe a construction toy, a teddy, a role play toy, second hand potentially. Other people maybe buy things like clothes, a water bottle or luggage etc as needed rather than at Christmas but neither way is wrong.

I am awful for worrying my children's piles look the same but now just re use big Santa sack bags so they don't see them laid out. On the day we worry for nothing! X

I think it’s quite normal to wrap the presents in the stocking or the sack. That’s half the fun- the unwrapping! You can get easily get recyclable paper

OP I’m very similar with my kids. I like them to have a similar number of gifts to open. At the moment my DS (12) has had more spent on him as his clothes cost more than DD (9) as he is in adult sizes now. I imagine as DD gets older the spend will even out.

Id just get little chocolates, bath bomb etc to add a few more little ones to the pile.

Yes! This!

By which survey?

My kids are teens and would be bitterly disappointed to co e down on Xmas morning to just a pile of clothes unwrapped under the tree. It would just look like laundry day!

@tired but if they are in a stocking/sack they don’t need to be wrapped. The OP has wrapped every little gift individually. If I was giving clothes to teenagers I would wrap some items together, I am sure they wouldn’t mind, rather than having every single t-shirt individually wrapped

And another poster wraps a packet of tissues! And then in effect puts them in a gift bag (a stocking). Don’t imagine a teenager would be bothered whether a packet of tissues in a gift bag wasn’t wrapped

No, adults have less but we obviously aren't upset if we run out half way through and sit back watching the kids opening but my 6 year would be upset if he has to sit and watch his sister open 10 more things after he runs out.

Its just the 5 of us, no extended family.