Does this look equal? I’m panicking for no reason I’m sure but please help

[Positivenancy]

OK, so attached I have a picture of my DC’s Christmas gifts laid out on the bed! I definitely think the left-hand pile looks like more and it is more, 22 in total but some v v small, compared to the other pile which is 14.

Now their dad does have some gift for them also that we will add to those piles. I just don’t know how many he has for each of them, so assuming he has equal amounts that means my DD will still have more. Maybe I should get my a few other small things like a pack of football cards etc?!

1st world problem I know!!
also I don’t do stockings…so this is it.
help 🤣😅

I understand the need for the present piles to look equal! I try to give the same amount of sized and value presents to my children. Your children will be delighted on Christmas morning.

Just out of curiosity the people buying their kids 1 or 2 presents don't you get them bits like selection boxes, chocolate coins, books, craft bits or any clothing etc to unwrap are the 1 or 2 presents just expensive things

I’m amazed that making sure children have the same number of presents is a thing. I spend (roughly) the same amount, but I had 5/6 years between each of mine, so a 4yo, 9yo and 15yo. The teen’s pile would look tiny compared to the youngest, because tech and expensive clothes/footwear are smaller and more expensive than bulky plastic toys.

By the time they’re 6 or 7 they can comprehend that some things cost more. It never even entered my head to make sure their piles were the same size. Is it an Instagram thing?

I wouldn’t know…I don’t have instagram. Or facebook etc. i just like things to be equal

Could you put some of the “excess” presents away for birthday instead? Looks like they will still have plenty anyway

@Anonym00se

We try to take it in turns opening gifts. So it’s because of this that I try to make sure they all have the same amount to open. The piles don’t look the same but it does help here that my eldest has autism, is developmentally delayed so does still play things like board games (all be it more arcade style ones). So boxes are a little bigger than if he just had all Nintendo or PlayStation games

What’s the point of buying stuff that’s not heeded so the poles look the same. One of mine is getting a new bike this year, it wouldn’t cross my mind to balance the present pile.

If this is true then just let it go. If they’re not going to count them (why would they?) just out the presents out and let them open them. I’m assuming you’re not going to lay them all out flat as you have done in the pic, just tuck a couple of little ones behind a bigger present if it bothers you

50 each but I wrap allsorts up they only get one main expensive present the others are cheaper toys, games, arts and craft stuff, clothes, hair and beauty stuff

50! What on earth do you buy, where do you store it & then how do you find 50 new things next year?!!!

Yes there will be some strategic placement for sure! 😂

This is why we won’t do “piles” it causes needless comparing. Much more fun IMO for presents to be mixed up under the tree and then the kids have fun identifying which ones are for them, interspersed with handing out ones for relatives so everyone has things to open at roughly the same time. It’s really important to us to teach our kids the joy of giving to others as well as opposed to just mindlessly tearing into enormous piles of gifts.

Maybe I’m a fun sponge but our kids will get 6 or 7 gifts from us, a stocking, plus one main gift from Father Christmas and then maybe a further 10 from relatives. That seems absolutely plenty to me and I certainly wouldn’t be buying extra bits of tat just to bulk up piles.

Crikey, those piles are HUGE!

Are they likely to be upset if they notice a difference? It's really not much of a difference to the eye and I doubt they'll lay it out like that to compare. Frankly if they do I'd be a bit worried! Might be worth putting some thought into how to deal with that more generally.

I feel ancient, but whatever happened to one main present and perhaps a few little stocking bits? Where do you find the space to keep everything?!?We buy farless than that and still need to do a pre-Christmas sort out for the charity shop otherwise there's no space for new thing in the cupboards.

Yeah there is very rarely any other relatives that is on Christmas morning, so we can’t really diffuse anything by doing gifts for relatives

That makes sense then sorry! Can you put some in gift bags so a couple of things are bundled into one gift?

Ah they’re not that big surely? 🤣

As I fed up thread, I have never done stocking and mean gift. It’s never been anything that’s been done in my family. It’s not what I’m used to and now it’s not what my children are used to.

Also, no, they would never let them out to compare that’s not what they’re like. They are very appreciative and they will be delighted about what they have. But as the parent giving the gifts I like things to be fair/equal.

I keep everything in boxes on top of my wardrobe. As I said before, they don’t get gifts throughout the year really. They get things at Christmas and on their birthday. Their bedrooms are really not full of stuff. And to be honest, myself and their father separated so everything is split between two houses 🤣😅

I like to get them experiences too so things I get them are not always physical… this has just reminded me I got them tickets to go see Mary Poppins the musical in January as a Christmas gift too! That’s their joint gift.

What a waste of wrapping paper. That’s the beauty of stockings or sacks, don’t need to wrap. Can also hide the fact that one child may not have as many items as the other even if money spent is the same.

Why haven’t you had to buy the PlayStation?

Not that it’s totally relevant , but my partner (not the dc’s dad!) had one that was brand new, very lightly used, still had the box etc so he very kindly said I could take it from my DS. I offered money but he wouldn’t take it. So I took him out for dinner instead 🤣

It’s not normal in our house. My two are allowed to ask Santa for 4 things and they get a stocking. With presents from close family it’s plenty.

So have you spent less on DS then?

When I grew up, we rarely got anything during the year, but my parents went to town at Christmas and we got a huge stocking and overspill (often things like a Mandy annual and small things) so I do the same. They have about 25 presents each (including jokey ones like a piece of ginger and a mini Christmas pud)!

So because it never entered your mind, it’s ridiculous that it’s entered other people’s minds? Personally I do equal gifts (not equal spend). It wouldn’t enter my mind to be derogatory about your idea of what is right re stockings.

That was perhaps how it was for you growing up. Have you considered that other people have had different experiences?

Everything gets wrapped in my stockings, even a pack of tissues.

@Positivenancy fair and equal are NOT the same - making everything equal in numbers probably means it isn’t fair, because striving for equality can lead to unfairness

I also go with fair between my two basing on their needs and is balanced