Gift for 83 year old MIL who wants nothing

[Imatorturedpoet]

I'm finding this very difficult. We only do little gifts, but she is infirm and says there's nothing she wants. Specifically she doesn't want chocolate, blankets, books, plants, smellies, sweets, clothes. She doesn't go out, as she can barely walk and won't use a wheelchair etc. She knits a little, but I bought her a knitting book last year and she hasn't used it once. Otherwise she watches tv.

Any ideas at all? DP has always given her Lindor because she said she likes them, but she now has various boxes unopened.

Only thing I can think of is a bouquet of flowers!

Photos/ calendar made up of family members maybe

Netflix subscription?
afternoon tea delivered after Christmas?
decent tea or coffee?
new bedding?
sit up pillow?

Mug with family photos

Does she use a hairdresser? Cover those payments for a ser amount of time.
Fresh flower deliveries once a month?
An experience she may like you and her son can do together like an afternoon tea at a nice hotel.

Wool
Socks
Pedicure
Fancy tin of biscuits

Something to make her life easier? A lightweight kettle, or one of those heatpads that goes in the microwave ( easier than filling up a hot water bottle) or a pretty cup with a lid so her tea doesn't go cold. Maybe a decent reading lamp?

That's a very good idea, if we can find enough photos!

She doesn't have Internet. She doesn't eat much either! She has no appetite due to illness. She gets her own tea and coffee from Ringtons. She has loads of bedding and doesn't use duvets either. And she has a special chair with a blow up cushion to alleviate pain. Sorry, I did say is difficult!

She'll only drink from fine bone China cups.

Does she like to read? A magazine subscription? Pay for a daily paper to be delivered?
In all honestly she probaley doesn't want anything, my dad is in his 80's still independent and basically doesn't want more stuff, but he does like flowers, so l send him some, oh and scratchcards he likes those, even though he doesn't need any money he's happy when he wins £10.

Her neighbour is a hairdresser, so she pays her for cleaning and hairdressing.
She wouldn't like to go out for afternoon tea, as she can barely walk.
Not sure I can stretch to flowers every month.

I wouldn't bother if she really doesn't want anything. A nice card might do

Does she have visitors? Some pretty paper napkins.

Notecards or arty postcards she can use as birthday or thank you or sympathy or get well cards (maybe with some stamps included).

A glossy magazine of an interest (a craft or puzzle one maybe?)

She has loads of wool and socks, has problems with her feet so a pedicure is out of the question. I thought about biscuits, but I don't think she'd eat them.

She recently bought a lightweight kettle. She doesn't use a microwave. She only drinks out of specific small bone China cups. And she has a tall reading lamp behind her chair.

What about one of those digital photo frames which you put a memory stick in and it shows a slide show of the photos?

She has visitors, but not for tea and cake or food.
Notecards might be an idea, as she likes writing to friends. She gets magazines passed on from her neighbours, more than she can read.

She won't engage with any sort of technology except her very simple mobile phone and even that's a challenge!

I'd feel awful turning up with just a card though.

I'm in the same boat with my 80yr mum! she has everything she needs and wants! it's hard not sure what I'm doing this year. Maybe hamper and flowers but it feels lame.
She has so many cosy blankets/scarves/cushions and candles/perfume - chocs and cake are bought regular any way. She is lucky and plenty of ££ and 'needs' nothing. Very ill and basically housebound. We have done afternoon tea /theatre/cinema stuff for past 5 years but no longer up to that.

I'd feel awful turning up with just a card though.

Card and nice flowers then (they don't have to be monthly!)

It is hard isn't it?

The older person who can't walk far but refuses a wheelchair is really familiar. We are sort of in that position with 93 (nearly 94), year old FIL. Would be deeply offended if we suggested a wheelchair but struggles to walk far.

In his case he still likes foodie things although he has a very small appetite now, so we do him a hamper of nice treats he might not other wise have.

He is also still an avid reader so we can get him books and magazine subscriptions

In your Mils case though I can see why you would struggle. Maybe flowers or a plant are the best option.

I'd also go with a card and flowers (or a really easy care pot plant). Beyond that it's difficult. I would have suggested some mobility aids like jar openers, etc. but although terribly useful it may offend her, which I get.

My DM is the same - I’m going to get her
some flowers
pink port
a small pannatone
a small fancy pork pie
a draught excluder

Older people can get very dry skin. How about something practical like E45 or a slightly nicer than she’d buy herself hand cream.

Slippers with a good grippy sole

Donation to charity in her name

New towels or a hand towel for the bathroom

Room fragrances, ironing water, drawer liners