Gift for 83 year old MIL who wants nothing

[Imatorturedpoet]

I'm finding this very difficult. We only do little gifts, but she is infirm and says there's nothing she wants. Specifically she doesn't want chocolate, blankets, books, plants, smellies, sweets, clothes. She doesn't go out, as she can barely walk and won't use a wheelchair etc. She knits a little, but I bought her a knitting book last year and she hasn't used it once. Otherwise she watches tv.

Any ideas at all? DP has always given her Lindor because she said she likes them, but she now has various boxes unopened.

Only thing I can think of is a bouquet of flowers!

Related to the notecard idea, how about a set of appropriate 'age' cards for the year ahead for each grandchild / special person in her life. And stamps.
We used to gift this to my elderly relative and she loved it.

For another elderly relative, we gifted a (small) stash of favourite basics - porridge, tea, favourite jams, fruitcake, etc. Thoughtful and useful.

A book

Edited to say, oops, just noticed you said she’s said no books.

Ah, sod her, anyone who says no books doesn’t deserve a present.

What about a nice cardi or bed jacket? Even if she has one she'll need a spare.

She said no plants, but what about planting (extra) daffodil, tulip or snowdrop bulbs in the garden.

Or promisory notes/IOUs for useful things you'll do later in the year can be good. Particularly if you can think of special things she might consider too difficult/awkward.
For example, planning a day trip to visit an old friend/relative or favourite location; painting the front door & window sills; providing window boxes/hanging baskets (and looking after them); planning & hosting some old friends/family to visit.

An electric heat pad (or throw but you said no to blankets)
Puzzle book
A beautiful painting of a place that is special to her
Something to do with music she enjoys?
Jigsaw

😂

My DMIL (95) is the same and has been for years. This year I’ve got her a hot priests calendar from Rome (to replace the one she got 5 years ago that’s still up in her kitchen). I’ve also made her a book with photos of sculptures and poems by a local steel sculptor. In the past we’ve bought her local history books and dvds covering when she was a young woman which show local life and memories. I’ve also put books together with press cuttings about everyone in her family (got these from Find My Past). These are the things she’s got most enjoyment from.

The best press cutting was her soon to be husband and her Dad up in court for being caught in a pub lock in after 10.30 pm in 1946 a week before their wedding ❤

Bottle of sherry … ready mixed cocktails?

Eh?

I have mobility issues and just bought myself a massager for my feet and calves. It's surprisingly nice and dead easy to use. She might enjoy it. Basically this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nekteck-Compression-Circulation-Relaxation-Intensities/dp/B08F5BCQ1Y/ref=sr_1_7?crid=1C8N8K35KZ7O9&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.tWYGXq88UGBJzbT6X6GLNA3mdVIPTz8omWwaHFuz8xNyceKBdVERzQ2cNqL3cF1Cucc9UBzfaHLyzzRN6VIicsOTIz8FNCI7zryGGd7WUn2hMHbV-gCpES7xMCbvRR2jr8UwFAH6e7LJmYnPr47zbAmQlPDIltjOo9XUrGTTCrdK9YnieeS0B70SWKX63C_tBfg3RTaTaf8UchhGiC21arnfnNq9WLmdvqTa96Yv_IfaxQ05cFV3IWfOhy1EF2fM_ynV_CnxyKn7xUP0RkqKB0Vp48vpTSAUhVcr85R1jcU.-W4YdH1GXLcpXRnUpJHWzF-8m_UAEKxbt_BBPZvnHZ4&dib_tag=se&keywords=leg+foot+and+calf+massager&nsdOptOutParam=true&qid=1731894758&sprefix=foot+and+calf%2Caps%2C453&sr=8-7
but a different brand as I bought it from Amazon Australia.

Card set is a nice idea! "Consumable" but not food. Papier do some lovely ones, you can even get them personalised for not much: https://www.papier.com/palazzo-41537

I bought a great set for a friend when she moved out of home ages back. She said she always raided her mum's "emergency card" drawer and didn't know what she was going to do without it. It was a classy set from Paperchase with a mixture of birthday, christening, anniversary etc cards in a box like a little filing system. Now Paperchase has gone though (sob) and I can't find similar! Been trying for ages, I think it's a nice useful gift for someone who has everything.

I don't understand why you don't just respect her wishes.

Would she like an afternoon tea at home? Gift/delivery voucher. This place looks like they have a good variety to choose from.
https://thecornishcompany.com/collections/cream-teas/?sort_by=best-selling]]

I agree. My mum is like this, she doesn't want flowers, food or anything at all. She's happy with a nice card. I used to get her stuff anyway but she didn't enjoy it and it's a waste of space/money. I'm 40 but I've started to realise receiving gifts for the sake of it is pointless. I hardly have any space and buy anything I want or need.

A little hamper of teas/coffees/biscuits from Ringtons, they do a lovely selection, and you already said this is who she uses

As someone who doesn't want anything for Christmas, just respect her wishes. I know you said you'd feel awful showing up with 'just' a card, but that's what she's asked for and it's not really about your feelings is it? It's about hers and she's made herself quite clear

Slippers.

Does she like nature?
Bird feeder to hang outside her window.
Plants for her room (pointsettier ?sp) or a hanging basket she can see from the window
Hyacinths/bulbs in a basket (M&S do these)

Nothing that takes up space ..

A very nice card.
A gift box of favourite edibles that she eats every fortnight.
A pedicure, transport to and fro included.
A picnic with grandchildren.
A framed photo of family.
A photo book or calender (bought on-line) of family photos.
A gift card to her butcher.
A nice cordial.
A pair of sunglasses or giftcard to her chemist.
A new phone.
A potted herb or two.

We adopt animals around the world for our 84yo mother. She gets a soft toy and a certificate and the satisfaction of knowing she’s leaving a bit of a legacy. This year she has had a pangolin and an orangutan.

If she does not want anything, don't get her anything. Some people find the proliferation of Stuff oppressive, more so as they get older.

How about just fixing a date to spend some quality time with her watching her favourite film/ looking through old photos or whatever she particularly likes. I've found it's having something to look forward to is oten the best gift when an elderly parents world is shrinking.

I don't think you need to commit to flowers every month for flowers to be a good gift. Could you buy a really lovely set from Waitrose or similar?

Alternatively I've had great success buying some cellophane, buying cheap flowers from Asda or similar and then taking a few inexpensive bunches apart and rearranging them into a really big luxurious bunch.

Nice soap/handwash. For the former I always treat myself to the lovely Italian ones from TK Maxx- about £4, beautifully wrapped. So a gesture to recognise the occasion. I cannot believe she wouldn't like some bulbs or a cyclamen (sp). Apart from the odd water they look after themselves and she can dispose of or plant out.