Gift for 83 year old MIL who wants nothing

[Imatorturedpoet]

I'm finding this very difficult. We only do little gifts, but she is infirm and says there's nothing she wants. Specifically she doesn't want chocolate, blankets, books, plants, smellies, sweets, clothes. She doesn't go out, as she can barely walk and won't use a wheelchair etc. She knits a little, but I bought her a knitting book last year and she hasn't used it once. Otherwise she watches tv.

Any ideas at all? DP has always given her Lindor because she said she likes them, but she now has various boxes unopened.

Only thing I can think of is a bouquet of flowers!

Probably totally inappropriate but....for my mum's 90th birthday (she'd had a stroke so rarely left the house but had every conceivable thing she could ever want), we hired a car and driver and we 3 daughters took her out for a drive round the Christmas lights in London. We parked up and had a picnic tea in the car from a wicker hamper that she'd used for us all on so many holidays. The driver wore a chauffeur's cap and she had an absolute ball. One of my best memories! Anyway.....can you get together and give her your time and attention instead of a gift?

Slippers from somewhere like Hotter or Pavers? Heated throw?

When my grandad was similar, I bought him a goat for a family in Africa from this company who were previously Send a Cow The Ripple Effect

A kilo of prawns or a bottle of bailies, whatever her fave treats are.

Cashmere or cashmere blend either fingerless gloves (can wear them in the house when it's cold) or scarf (ditto). Turtle Doves have some affordable ones.

I would also be inclined to go for flowers!

I think she's been quite clear. I'd bring a bouquet of flowers, a nice card and - if appropriate - a donation gift to something that would mean something to her. I did this for my grandmother when she got older and didn't want anything. 'Stuff' can be quite stressful when you don't want it and cluttering up the house of someone struggling to get around isn't ideal.

My grandmother was a retired teacher so I'd donate to local school libraries and causes she was involved with when she was younger.

A nice floral Christmas display

Posh versions of some things she buys in her grocery shop each week? A scatter cushion with a design she likes, a particular animal or William Morris, anything she is into.

Does your husband/partner have any ideas what to buy for his own mum? You've considered every possible option it seems - let him sort it out!

I do like the suggestion of a kilo of prawns tho. Go lovely all nicely wrapped under the tree for a few days in the heat of a octogenarian's home.

You say she might like notecards, so how about a nice pen to go with them? Perhaps a pretty pen amd a pen-pot holder to go with it. You could also get a notebook.

Would she find a 2025 calendar useful too? To go on her wall.

Britbox subscription, since she likes tv?
or I think there are offers on the Radio Times

Home made jam and/or marmalade (or source some from Fortnum &Mason

A mobile beautician who can come and do a manicure?
A video call with family or old friends or a recorded video clips from them all put together as a keepsake.
Does she have anyway of playing audible? If so a subscription.

Flowers are a good idea. In a vase unless you are sure she has one.
Even if she isn't keen, it shows you care and she doesn't have to house them for more than a couple weeks 🤣

How does she watch TV? If she's not into technology then is she using streaming services or watching dvds? Maybe a box set of an older series she might have enjoyed before but not easily available online.
My parents had a lot of that kind of dvds (20 years younger though) but now I think watch via the firestick more.
I'm thinking of things from around the 60s/70s given her ages.
Lots of options, depends on the kind of thing she usually watches

My Dm is a similar age. I am buying her one of those tubs with pre pkanted spring bulbs that she can see in the garden from her chair

In previous years I bought her a bird feeder and she has had a lot of pleasure from that

My dmil was the same, she liked the orchid someone once got her as it bloomed for months, only needed drops of water and came back a couple of times a year xx

A radio. 📻

I've ordered my disabled MIL an app-based digital photo frame so we can all send her photos that she can enjoy without fighting with her phone.

Last year she loved the microwaveable heat pad that I bought her and previous hits have been an Alexa and a Fire stick.

On another Christmas thread, one poster created a personalised filofax-type system with cards and stamps for everyone's birthdays, anniversaries etc. It meant their elderly relative could keep up with family events and occasions without the stress and expense of buying cards and stamps for a year.

Good luck ☺

Sorry I think flowers aren't a good suggestion for someone who's asked for no gift. I'm 40 and I'm really annoyed when I get flowers, they're just another job I have to monitor and do.

Get her some of the tea she likes. Thoughtful and practical.

The only thing that ever was appreciated by elderly relatives were nice photos of the younger generations of the family. Either framed or in a little photo book.

That sort of minimal care flowering plant is good.

Is there a window she can see out of - thinking here a bird feeder, that you keep stocked and then she can watch the birds. I know Mum-in-law, when she did little else, loved to watch them.

Why are you insisting on forcing a present on her when she's said she doesn't want anything? Just let it go.

Bigger tv?

Does she have a view of the garden from where she sits, could you buy her a house plant that you could eventually plant outside?