Poncetastic Christmas 2024

[StiffyByngsDogBartholomew]

@vivajen hasn't posted on MN for a year so I've taken the bull by the horns. I can't wait any longer !
Wherever you are, Fellatio, here's to you. I hope you're brining a turkey and had crafting authentic organic woven tinsel somewhere.
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.
So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.
Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.
Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

🎄🎄🎄🎄

Well .

Have had a bit of a week here . Made up 3 of the 7 cakes , and was then informed that my SIL has decided that for the first time in 10 years , she and my brother are coming to stay for Christmas, along with most of the tribe . So am now trying to work out who is getting which bed when . Not to mention the fact that I now feel the need to paint about 4 rooms and buy a new stair carpet because she actually will judge if I don't . Painting starts tomorrow . I shall be doing it whilst the other 4 cakes are baking

Had a cook ahead day today. The kitchen smelled lush!
Two lots of stuffing, one sausage meat and walnut from an old Good Housekeeping recipe and a vegan variation that I used chia seeds to bind. Slight hitch when I realised that I had sautéed the vegetables in butter planning to divide them between the two versions! But after a brief tussle with my conscience I did another batch cooked with a bit of oil for the vegan stuffing.
The tasters were judged to be “yummy”
I also made Get Ahead Gravy. The recipe I used had not got the dreaded Star Anise in and is all the better for it.
We have been battered by storm Bert here so a good day to work up a fug in the kitchen.

Whoa. Well done for picking yourself up and getting the paint out.
The sudden self invite would have discombobulated me somewhat.

Well all my poncing plans went out of the window this morning as the drains decided to overflow into the stable/workshop/junk room. Bastarding pipes are really old (concrete) and roots from the beautiful but problematic vines that grow up the front of the house have blocked them. So I have just spent 2 hours opening all the access points and removing as much as I could by hand 🤮
I usually love living in this house (late 18th century, stone, small French village) but this morning I was really questioning my life choices 😅
I've also ordered another felt pattern from the same Etsy shop, this time it's a tree decoration of a mini stocking with fillers. Can't wait to get started!

www.etsy.com/fr/listing/1813098664/patron-pdf-by-the-chimney-un-ornement-en

Oh that's just adorable! I don't actually think I'm capable of sewing stitches that small and neat, so I'm not going to kid myself I can. I also need to go full pelt on candle rolling this week as I've just realised there are only four weekends left till Christmas. (Our allotment shop stocks our honey and candles is only open on Saturday mornings. I always like to have a good backup stash built up as I sometimes get a call saying they have ran out)

Oh no @LaChatte that sounds horrendous! Sympathies.
@plominoagain you are a much more refined host than me. I’d have decided that the day SIL decided to arrive magically coincided with deep clean day and invited her to pitch in or STFU.

I’ve made paper chains, and paper hats for the crackers, with DD this weekend. Also finished knitting the last gift and started the wrapping, so I’m feeling pretty good.

I bought some bordeau velvet curtains on Vinted and have just put them up, the sitting room now feels lovely and cosy with a definite hint of Christmas, all ready for decorating next weekend. I was really happy to find them as I'd finally chosen a pair I liked from IKEA and they only went and stopped making them in that colour 🙄. They're in perfect condition with the added bonus that the seller had removed the top as she didn't like the integrated rings and added hidden loops (I realise all these things have proper names but I only know them in French), which made them too short for her window and just right for mine. So basically a complete stranger has helped with my poncing 😁

Please ignore the crumbs on the floor 😅

@LaChatte That felt Christmas stocking is so adorable. I'm going to make one myself.

@LaChatte I was inspired by your star, I’ve been looking for a nice star for the tree for a few years and never found something I liked. Really hope my skills are up to it! Can I ask, did you use the fabric glue recommended by the pattern?

@maisiedaisy64 no I used fabric glue from my local craft shop (I did say what it was for). I didn't use the same brand of sticky paper either, the stuff I got was Brother on Amazon (I've just ordered some more actually as its in the Black Friday sale).

Finishing off the weekend with a mince pie from the freezer cooked in the airfryer, works perfectly!

Thanks @LaChatte! I eventually found the right sticky paper on Amazon, after I bought a more expensive one without the stickiness somehow!! Enjoy the mince pie!

Just about finished place settings and napkin rings but now wondering about embroidery and beads on the trees. ( I blame @LaChatte )

I'm in awe at everyone's creative skills . I alas have none , bar cooking , but art things just .. no .

Two more cakes made. Only advantage of the foul weather was that dog had no interest in walk, so managed the painting of the stairs and woodwork as well . Cannot tell you how much I hate stair spindles right now . Whilst pondering a vegan dessert at the same time . There must be something suitably festive but nothing inspires me right now .

I saw a vegan version of nigella's clementine cake yesterday, would that work? Haven't tried this version but the non vegan one is lovely, and best baked in advance which is handy.

https://holycowvegan.net/vegan-clementine-cake/

I do a self saucing chocolate pudding that’s gf, vegan. Let me know if you would like the recipe.

I have even used it as mousse instead.

Sorry, that’s for @plominoagain

Yes , that would be wonderful ! Thank you .

I like the clementine cake too , so I could actually do both for different days as have various people coming over for about a week 😮

The Nisser arrived yesterday. They brought a little Christmas tree with them, complete with twinkly lights! And as they are guests it would be rude to tell them it's a little too early for that. 😉 My mood has improved greatly. ✨✨✨

@plominoagain To make it df, I use rice milk.

Rice milk can be gritty, as can some gf flours. To make it as a mousse thing, make it the day before and everything gets gets to meld properly.

Even as a gf self saucing pudding, make the batter early and allow it to sit for at least half an hour before pouring over the cocoa and water.

So glad to hear the Nisser arrived bringing good moods.

I spent a happy 🤔 hour threading 16m of fairy lights around our reindeer antlers and sleigh as the old ones are now so dull can barely be seen.

Also love the table setting and velvet curtains.

@plominoagain

This is nice but you must let the date mixture cool before adding flour mix otherwise you will take a tough pudding to your friends party when it was perfect at home the week before.🙄😳

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/sticky-toffee-pear-pudding