I've given myself the best Christmas Present - the word NO

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Christmas Cards - No. To all of them.

Hosting DHs family on boxing day as normal -No

Hosting them again on new years day as normal - No

No to - Buying presents for pretty much everyone except our own children and a couple of very close nieces and nephews. No adults on my side have been bought a present (by mutual agreement - we are swapping 'individual time with each other' later in the year instead).

I've refused to enter into any discussions about presents for DH side of the family. NO NO NO. I can hear him swearing at the printer so I assume it's vouchers all round. Not my problem.

We are being hosted for Christmas Dinner this year and I've expressed immense gratitude and bunged some expensive plonk in the online shop for few weeks ago to give as a gift.

For the first time ever I've had time to just enjoy the week before Christmas with my children. We have baked, watched Christmas films guilt free, just generally chilled out and not cared about having the house clean for endless expected guests. I've not been the absolute monster I usually am trying to get them to keep things tidy in between DOING.ALL.THE.CHRISTMAS.SHIT

I've been Fun Mum for once.

DHs family think i'm the grinch in witches clothing but I genuinely just don't care. He surprisingly is being very supportive of my decision to down tools.

I think this is the closest I've ever experienced what it must feel like to be a man. No wonder they have time for hobbies and Fun Dadness if they feel this free to avoid the shit work all the time.

Well done. I think it's very empowering to say no.
Have a lovely Christmas.

You go girl😄

Good job the people hosting you for dinner didn't say NO.

Sounds wonderful! Have a very happy peaceful Christmas.

Bliss! Enjoy your christmas 🎄

They usually come to us. They have a new kitchen and felt they owed us a hosting after several years of not having the room to do so. It was actually their offer that was the catalyst for me deciding to have this Christmas 'off duty' entirely.

Oh well done you, I stopped doing cards years ago. After getting myself in a proper mess over them.

Well done op

Fucking brilliant! Go you.

There was a hairy moment earlier this week where A LOT of pressure was being put on me to change my mind about not hosting boxing day. I nearly crumbled. DH stepped in and unilaterially put his foot down and said it was his decision not to host (it wasnt).

I think he has had a lightbulb moment and realised how much better life is for him if I am not having to spend my few days off work trying to constantly please his family. I actually feel warm and fuzzy towards him for the first time in a while!

Well done! Merry Christmas.

How extraordinarily mean and selfish. So much for the spirit of giving.

I think this is the closest I've ever experienced what it must feel like to be a man.
😱😱 I am sooooo jealous! < bows down >

I love you!!!!

What on earth are talking about ?
Do you think the OP should just be a slave to other people?

I’d like to think this is a sarcastic comment, you know, the kind made in jest but somehow I don’t think it is.

Good for the OP, I refused earlier this year to host xmas yet again, said I didn’t care what we did but I was not doing it all again. Thankfully DH took me seriously, he’s helped out with everything this year (for the first time ever) and we’re going to DD’s for xmas day.

Love this!

Here's a toast to you OP, well done 😂😂

This. She isn't 'being a slave to others,' she's just refusing to do what millions of us do without even thinking about it.

Great job! Enjoy your Xmas!

Good for you op.
Glad your DH has joined in.
This year is the first I've not done all the neighbour drinks, family round etc. and it's lovely. I'm still doing boxing day but very low key.

The giving is still happening I'm just not the one responsible for organising it all for a change.

Would you have said that to man who had declined to sort out the presents for his wife's side of the family?

My side of the family are exchanging the gift of time throughout the year. I'm really looking forward to it and I have all year to plan the 'gift' with each one individually.

The children are still getting gifts from us courtesy of me directing them to DH to pass on their Christmas lists. Like a teenager doing his first food shop at university I think he enjoyed the novelty of his first Christmas shop.

I've plenty of Christmas spirit, I'm just not wasting it on stuff that actually causes me more stress than joy.

But what about all the giving - and hosting - she has done over the past x years???

I get what you mean op about almost being like a man!

I remember H taking me for a day out for a big birthday. He's booked the trip, sorted the tickets, made the snacks, carried the bags, sorted DS, booked a table for dinner and a cake. It was great - I wandered round and had a great time. I realised why he enjoyed days out so much! Completely different experience.

Forgot to say YANBU op! Hold firm. Sounds like you've had a really lovely week. More important to please your kids than DHs family.