I've given myself the best Christmas Present - the word NO

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Christmas Cards - No. To all of them.

Hosting DHs family on boxing day as normal -No

Hosting them again on new years day as normal - No

No to - Buying presents for pretty much everyone except our own children and a couple of very close nieces and nephews. No adults on my side have been bought a present (by mutual agreement - we are swapping 'individual time with each other' later in the year instead).

I've refused to enter into any discussions about presents for DH side of the family. NO NO NO. I can hear him swearing at the printer so I assume it's vouchers all round. Not my problem.

We are being hosted for Christmas Dinner this year and I've expressed immense gratitude and bunged some expensive plonk in the online shop for few weeks ago to give as a gift.

For the first time ever I've had time to just enjoy the week before Christmas with my children. We have baked, watched Christmas films guilt free, just generally chilled out and not cared about having the house clean for endless expected guests. I've not been the absolute monster I usually am trying to get them to keep things tidy in between DOING.ALL.THE.CHRISTMAS.SHIT

I've been Fun Mum for once.

DHs family think i'm the grinch in witches clothing but I genuinely just don't care. He surprisingly is being very supportive of my decision to down tools.

I think this is the closest I've ever experienced what it must feel like to be a man. No wonder they have time for hobbies and Fun Dadness if they feel this free to avoid the shit work all the time.

Bloody brilliant OP. Now KEEP IT GOING in 2024! No more martyrdom and no more wifework. A special well done for saying no to the utter bullshit of having to sort out presents for your husband's family, because apparently having a penis means you're incapable of any planning or thinking of others ever 🙄

Ha! Sorry you had to go through this, too. Happy Christmas 🎄

Bit sexist. My dh always does the cooking and hosting and he buys all the dc's presents. I just do the wrapping. Not all men are useless.

I'm loving this. You are so right. I am loving that not only have you seen it through, you are doing it with the right attitude - enjoying every minute. I hope you have the best day tomorrow knowing there is nothing stressful to be planned for!

Great work! I'm also downing tools this year - lost both parents in the last 2 years so just me, dh & 2 dc - they voted steak & chips for Christmas dinner & dh will cook it. So much more relaxed not having to run about gathering & prepping all the Christmas dinner stuff.

We're calling over to my bro's house for pudding after so will still have a bit of social. I totally agree with feeling like a man. I've often said I wish I had dh's life & I do quite feel like it now. Merry Christmas all! 💚

Well done, OP! By going through a lot of absolute crap this last year, I’ve come to the realisation that most people in my life actually don’t give a damn about who I really am as long as I comply with what they want. It’s been a massive eye opener and as a result I’m just not doing things I don’t want to anymore. Pressure off.

Plus, when it comes to Christmas, I don’t even enjoy half of the traditions or rituals that require a load of work. Sod the roast Turkey dinner, I’m having take out. And I can’t wait!

Merry Christmas!

Well done to you. I have cut down on what I do this year - and I never did it all before (my husband has always cooked Christmas lunch and done his family presents). For me it's not just the doing I don't like it's the mental load of it on top of the work and school stuff.

I no longer wrap their presents if delivered by Amazon it stays in the cardboard (mine don't care and I'm also trying to be environmentally friendly). Mine are older so there's no Santa now.

My husband has always taken them out to buy the tree. Then it's dumped and left for me to decorate - this year they did it when I was out and it was a joy to come back and not decorate for once (first time in 14 years)

My family and I don't exchange gifts. I don't send many cards. My OH and I don't do gifts - we will go to the theatre in Jan instead (I booked this but next year he can choose).

All in all it makes for a more enjoyable Christmas time for me.

Love this thread! Taking inspiration for next year 😀

Yay!

I went no cards too. Just could not be arsed!

Thankfully on my own and never the worry of being the host or being hosted!

Off to work this afternoon!

Ha ha there's always one!

Wishing you a peaceful, happy Christmas OP. Sounds like it's long overdue.

No in laws to stay this year, after years of hosting them, it's just a Christmas at home with no house guests, having a lovely time.

Funny thing is though, the MIL who is a social media butterfly, never one to let a like or comment go by, never off her phone, total silence today, no text, no phone call, nada, sulking...

Which only makes my decision more than overdue.

The reality is, I've spent years making everyone else's Christmas exactly what they like and want, but no one ever asked me what I needed. So now the kids are old enough to also have a say, we are staying home, go forward.

😂😂There's always one

Oops great minds think alike @SerafinasGoose

I totally love this thread. Go OP.

My DH has a post-Christmas birthday and moaned today that we didn't do anything special for him. Well if he didn't invite his 4 family members over for the whole Christmas week, two years in a row, I would have had more time and brain cells left for him!
It is nice having the in laws for Christmas, but god the work. Hosting is absolutely wifework.
Most of them left Christmas morning and I refused to cook any more. Efuckingnough.
And my small NO: SIL enthusiastically suggested making a yule log and I immediately said nope, if you want it you can make it, I have enough to do!